dangermousie: (Kenshin)
[personal profile] dangermousie
Saw Mr&Mrs Smith with [livejournal.com profile] katranna yesterday. The movie goes strictly into the "meh" category. Amoral people killing while looking beautiful is dull. Having characters you can't connect with or find interesting is duller. Also, I kept wondering where was the police in all these gunfights. Ehhhhh...

My summary:

ANGELINA: Hi! I am able to kill people while pouting and fake-cooking dinner for my husband. Go me! *puts on vinyl that miraculously doesn't squeak*
STRAGHT GIRLS IN AUDIENCE: We think we are turning gay....
BRAD: Hi! I am able to kill people while looking like Brad Pitt. *takes off shirt*
STRAIGHT MEN IN THE AUDIENCE: We think we are turning gay....
BRAD AND ANGIE: We have been married for a bit and now we are so bored we don't even have sex even though we are so hot we can spontaneously combust
PRODUCERS: That's called "suspension of disbelief," people
BRAD AND ANGIE: Oh, no! My spouse is a spy. I will eliminate them *they have the most violent foreplay ever and fall passionately into bed*
AUDIENCE: No wonder they didn't get much sex. The foreplay looks exhausting and bad for the furniture.
BRAD AND ANGIE: Now we are on the run from our respective agencies and we blow up more stuff than a nuclear bomb yet somehow the cops never show up.
STUFF: Blows up
BRAD AND ANGIE: And now we are happily married yet again and are shagging like cats in heat.
AUDIENCE: Director's cut where we can see every uber-hot disgusting detail, please!

Speaking of "meh:" this is how Eragon continues. The author apparently never heard of "show don't tell." Next time I'll read something not written by a 15 year old.

Also, [livejournal.com profile] katranna and I had a lovely discussion about fanfic things we hate (post coming up later) and she showed me a French version of a Rouroni Kenshin manga which amused me mightily for some weird reason (as I don't speak French). Somehow I can't imagine 19th century Japanese wanderer fluently chatting in French.

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