Ok, I am really confused now!

[dangermousie]

Umm, why does the existence of a previously unknown about almost twenty year old kid whose mother is happily married to the kid's stepfather who raised him and who you've long gotten over, means Do Jin is breaking up with Yi Soo as it seems that somehow the fact that he didn't use protection (or did and it failed) two decades before he met her makes him unqualified to be her boyfriend or married to her or anything?! Wtf is this a Korean thing? Because whie this fact would certainly lead to a discussion within a relationship, how on earth this is grounds for dumping the woman you love due to unworthiness/inability to be her boyfriend?

I honestly don't get wtf Do Jin is thinking?

Comments

[thinking-lotus.livejournal.com]

I think he thinks that if he failed one woman that he isn't worthy of any woman. Or if that one woman didn't trust him on such an important matter that how can another one? Or how can he trust her? Whereas of course now YS will feel she can't trust him, because he broke his promise.

I don't think it's the facts of the situation, per se, as much as the emotions.

I think once they have time to think about it they might have different ideas, but that's where they are now.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

If he is this flaky, she might be better off without him - he's not 19 - the way he reacts is a massive overreaction. (then there is his habit of not taking and hiding when serious issues come up). Who wants a guy who doesn't act in any rational fashion when a big issue comes up?

[thinking-lotus.livejournal.com]

I don't know how she's going to take it, but I don't think she's going to chase after him. It will be interesting to see how it resolves.

[hamster428.livejournal.com]

I'm only up to 13, but I've heard all the ragings from soompi. I dun get it either, but I think the Asian mentality is that, u dont expect ur man to be a virgin per se, but if he has children or a marrital past, he's "used goods." Even more so for cases of women. Even if the family's ok with it internally, they tend to be less proud or even embarassed when they have to tell other ppl, as if their kid could only manage to snag a used item on the market. It's all about saving face when you're dealing w Asians.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I sort of got this with the whole fuss about Yoon reciprocating Maehri's feelings but DJ is not divorced or anything and is a guy thus the stigma is less - plus Yi Soo has no family to brag to. Plus, more importantly, shouldn't he give Yi Soo the choice? Because as of now I am thinking she is better off without someone this flaky and someone who grants her this little agency.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I"m Asian and I don't think that way. It would have been a shock that might need a few days or even weeks to get my mind over, but it's certainly not something to break up over. The kid is 18. He can take care of himself for goodness sake >.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thanks for clarifying.

This whole sudden turn is so odd.

[walkwithheroes.livejournal.com]

From watching more family orientated dramas, it seems that older generations (40+) tend to think that a person having been marred before or having children is a big issue. It's like hamster428 said, the divorced/widowed person is seen as "used" and the child(ren) is seen as a road block. They want the family to be 'fresh' and not have any 'bad reminders' of the past.


I remember watching one drama where a 35 year old wanted to marry a divorced woman (with a son, who was living with the ex-husband) and the parents (in their 50s) had a fit. Saying he couldn't marry her because she had already been part of another man's family and the child was a reminder. Plus, how could he raise another man's child?! Later, the daughter-in-law wanted to remarry (she was a widow) and the in-laws refused to let her three year old son go with her "to be raised by another father." The boyfriend's mom wasn't too happy - how could her son be the second husband of a woman and raise another man's child?! There was another drama where the lead man always talked about how he would die alone, because he had a son. Apparently he didn't think a woman would want him if he had a kid in the mix. Or oh - there was a drama where a guy tried to hide the fact that he had a son, because he was dating a younger woman. And then, the woman found out and said she'd marry him if he promised that the son would be raised by the grandparents and she'd only have to see the kid on holidays.


Basically. . .that seems to be how the older generation thinks: if you've been married (and divorced/widowed) and/or have a child, you're destined to die alone,

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

That makes a lot of sense *thinks back to Family Honor and Thank You* Still, giving her a choice would have been good.