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dangermousieI really wanted to spend last night finishing the adventures of Tae-In and his ‘Biscuit’ but we got invited to an Oscar party so I watched overprivileged unkempt people congratulate each other instead.
So yeah, Oscars:
1. I would imagine, if you work in Hollywood, you can afford a hair-brush, and (if you are a guy) a razor. But clearly I am mistaken. Most of the people looked wild-haired and unshaven, as if they’d slept under a bridge. It’s not cute in a homeless person (but they have a reason for being thus), and it’s doubly uncute in you, overpaid hack(s). Colin Farrell especially. We all know you are sleazy, you don't have to prove it by looking like you just came off a meth binge. (I like CF, I do, but seriously...yikes).
2. Con-di-tio-ner. Not a hard word. Look it up. The hair of all men and most women did not just look like it was cut with garden shears, it looked dank, lackluster, and if they had washed it in household soap at most, or, more likely, not wash it at all.
3. Lopsided dresses might be the newest ‘in’ thing, but all they make me think of is that you were either unable to pay for both sleeves, or that part of your dress got caught in the door.
4. If there was an Oscar for most boring speech, the decision would be almost impossible to make. Look at it this way: I had more fun watching Bae Yong Joon’s acceptance speech at MBC awards in unsubtitled Korean than I did yours, random overpaid actor/producer/whoever. And you know why? Because my level of comprehension and interest is about the same in random names you spout off that I don’t know anything about, and unsubbed Korean, a language I don’t speak. But at least Bae Yong Joon looked like he actually bothered to shower, shave, and dress up before coming out.
5. Helen Mirren, I like you. A lot. And Daniel Day-Lewis, I like you too, even if you did seem to be a victim of the ‘slept on a park bench’ look everybody else was possessed by.
6. The musical numbers had the same production style and values as your local public access TV channel or maybe BBC circa 1965. I would pay NOT to watch them.
7. Cameron Diaz, when you can't read the teleprompter without stumbling, it's time to lay off wine-coolers.
The party though? Was awesome.
So yeah, Oscars:
1. I would imagine, if you work in Hollywood, you can afford a hair-brush, and (if you are a guy) a razor. But clearly I am mistaken. Most of the people looked wild-haired and unshaven, as if they’d slept under a bridge. It’s not cute in a homeless person (but they have a reason for being thus), and it’s doubly uncute in you, overpaid hack(s). Colin Farrell especially. We all know you are sleazy, you don't have to prove it by looking like you just came off a meth binge. (I like CF, I do, but seriously...yikes).
2. Con-di-tio-ner. Not a hard word. Look it up. The hair of all men and most women did not just look like it was cut with garden shears, it looked dank, lackluster, and if they had washed it in household soap at most, or, more likely, not wash it at all.
3. Lopsided dresses might be the newest ‘in’ thing, but all they make me think of is that you were either unable to pay for both sleeves, or that part of your dress got caught in the door.
4. If there was an Oscar for most boring speech, the decision would be almost impossible to make. Look at it this way: I had more fun watching Bae Yong Joon’s acceptance speech at MBC awards in unsubtitled Korean than I did yours, random overpaid actor/producer/whoever. And you know why? Because my level of comprehension and interest is about the same in random names you spout off that I don’t know anything about, and unsubbed Korean, a language I don’t speak. But at least Bae Yong Joon looked like he actually bothered to shower, shave, and dress up before coming out.
5. Helen Mirren, I like you. A lot. And Daniel Day-Lewis, I like you too, even if you did seem to be a victim of the ‘slept on a park bench’ look everybody else was possessed by.
6. The musical numbers had the same production style and values as your local public access TV channel or maybe BBC circa 1965. I would pay NOT to watch them.
7. Cameron Diaz, when you can't read the teleprompter without stumbling, it's time to lay off wine-coolers.
The party though? Was awesome.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 05:03 pm (UTC)5 o'clockthree days without a shower shadow look? ew!!) the torture of watching them is an appeal lost on me.maybe a party if there are pigs in a blanket and i could sit in a corner and read a book. . . .
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 05:12 pm (UTC)Exactly. I've seen fratboys look fresher after a weekend drinking binge.
Party was fun because we all mocked everything :)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 05:06 pm (UTC)I can't quite get over Tilda Swinton's dress/bin liner, i waver between laughing at it, and quite liking it. Though i have to say i really want to look as good as she does when i'm 47!
Daniel Day-Lewis seems to have recyled his look from the Baftas...and I wasnt too convinced by Helen Mirren's outfit, though she can really do no wrong.
The problem with the frocks is that year in year out, they all seem to be in uniforms and all sport the same look. It is boring and the whole 1 shoulder thing has been around for quite a few years now hasn't it...thinks of Kate Winslet a few years ago...
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 05:11 pm (UTC)have to say i really want to look as good as she does when i'm 47!
Botox and a plastic surgeon's knife and you are set.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 06:26 pm (UTC)Based on past Oscars, I decided a book and absolute silence were the best way to go (well, after trying out an appallingly bad anime.)
I should click something to see all the awards, though...
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 08:49 pm (UTC)Seriously, hobo look is never good.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 06:33 pm (UTC)5. Helen Mirren, I like you. A lot. And Daniel Day-Lewis, I like you too, even if you did seem to be a victim of the ‘slept on a park bench’ look everybody else was possessed by.
Helen Mirren is fabulous and, heh, in DDL's defense, you could say he was a precursor of the 'what is this shower you speak of?'-look.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 08:50 pm (UTC)Yeah, he's been unkempt for longer than I've been alive :)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 06:50 pm (UTC)You definitely didn't get into Cameron Diaz's affliction and get enough from your host's wine cooler. That's what parties are for! Get tipsy, and all those dresses and looks suddenly make a world of sense!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-25 11:52 pm (UTC)You're bang on!
Date: 2008-02-25 08:37 pm (UTC)Re: You're bang on!
Date: 2008-02-25 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-26 04:02 am (UTC)As far as acceptance speeches go, 9 times out of 10 I hit "mute" because I generally find them either boring or embarrassing.
Helen Mirren is the queen of awesome, is she not? And I really liked DDL genuflecting to her.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-26 04:05 am (UTC)Didn't Colin come with his mother? I'm surprised she didn't make him brush it. On the other hand, I suppose she could've given that up as a losing battle years ago.
ROFL.
Who did Viggo coem with? it looked like a kid!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-26 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-26 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 04:55 am (UTC)Probably victim of same hobo look