dangermousie: (QIHM by timescout)
[personal profile] dangermousie
The thing that strikes me is that some of Jin Hyuk's emotional openness and fearlessness is a function of his age - he's young so life hasn't had too much time to mess him up and, due to his loving family, he hasn't yet had to develop a protective shell (something I am sure Soo Hyun had to develop from an early age.) But that is only a part of it - he is, by his very nature, fearless in his feeling and his expression of it. He is the kind of person who can shrug off his beloved camera getting smashed or have a whimsical adventure with a stranger - I think all the tribulations that are going to happen may make him more experienced or savvier but they will not dim his determined ability to open himself up. Underneath his cheerful demeanor, there is quite a lot of steel. He is not open and good because he's dumb, he's open and good because it is in his basic nature to be so. It's pretty clear he is no pushover, as the sequence with the minor car accident demonstrates.



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And Soo Hyun needs open caring so badly. Look at her face when he puts that small vegetable piece in her soup. Ir's a small, matter-of-fact gesture. Sure, it demonstrates his caring, but it's hardly a grand thing. But you can see in her face how enormously moving it is to her because she is so deprived of human contact and the mundanity of it all is what makes it so perfect - people fake grand gestures all the time (I am sure when she was married to her ex, there were public show-off things all the time, for publicity if nothing else.) But this is a little, every day thing - nothing to gain points or to show off the giver's amazingness or anything else performative. It's a simple nice gesture, almost without conscious thought - and it says such tragic things about Soo Hyun's isolation that she treasures it so.

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Oh, and I am sure everyone noticed that throughout their jaunt, she is in dark, somber colors while he is clad in sunny optimistic white (and when he put his white coat around her, I nearly died of the symbolism.)

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And oh, her face when she realizes he is asleep on her shoulder. It's this relaxing into tenderness, her feeling that it's a small pleasure she is allowed because there is nobody (including him) to see.

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No wonder she only tells him about her childhood when she thinks he is asleep and cannot hear her. Even that is a huge step for her. And of course she knows (and says as much to his sleeping self) that she cannot afford to be close to him because breaking it off is worse than never having it. She's in this isolated hell made by her family and it's just awful.

But of course it's so hard for her to let go of the human warmth and contact he represents. She tries (and oh, the contrast from her drinking in his birthday wishes and then deciding to clamp down on her feelings and end it.) But she is not going to be able to - she needs it too much. She backtracks on not wanting to take his birthday present (and in some ways it's an extremely intimate one - it's lipstick - he is giving her something to put on her lips, like a rather indirect kiss. Or perhaps I've been watching too many very restrained and oblique period dramas lately.) And oh how his face lights up! He made not a single complaint or a sulky gesture when she refused it earlier but you can see how much it must have hurt him by the unrestrained joy on his face when she changes her mind. He lights up like the sun. (Park Bo Gum really does have a smile that transforms his whole face, doesn't he?)

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Also, to switch gears, I continue to really like her ex. They clearly did not match together (for whatever reason - probably something to do with his monster mother), but he is trying his best to protect her and insist she is not a thing. Is it too much to hope the matriarch will trip and fall down the stairs, breaking her neck?

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And then I had to go to bed because I rewatched some of the scenes a few too many times and an hour long ep is turning into close to three. But to look on the bright side - that means I have more of this wonderfulness to enjoy tomorrow.

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