dangermousie | What bothers me about the ending of Four Women Confict

Of course I spoiled myself rotten for the end of FWC - no way am I starting such a miseryfest without knowing how it ends. And something kept niggling at me - it wasn't the fact it's tragic (because it was to be expected), but something else. And then the latest ep of FWC finally crystallized for me what bothers me.

It's the fact that at the end, Lanyan does to Playboy what every man in her life except for him had done to her - she takes away his agency.

I am talking about the whole "he can have a brilliant career if he marries such-and-such but he will never leave me, so how about I kill myself?" It's pretty clear if she put a binary choice to him - have a career and no her in his life or live a quiet life with her, he'd always pick the second option. And I think she should respect that choice, whether she agrees with it or not. The whole point of believing other people have a right to agency is that sometimes this means they will make choices you do not agree with and you are supposed to let them.

She wrecks his life and disregards what he wants "for his own good" just as has been done so many times to her by a lot of men who know better than she what she wants or should want. Playboy is the one person who's never done so to her and who always respected what she wanted and that is what she does.

This said, the reason this isn't a deal-breaker for me and bothers me much less than it would otherwise, is the same reason I can see her thinking that suicide for such a reason is an option in the first place - she is very broken. Her horrifically abusive childhood and young adulthood broke something in her beyond repair - and a lot of what was broken has to do with destroying her self-worth or self-love. And no matter how much Playboy may cherish her or support her, this is not something that can be fixed, ever.