ROTS brings on the badfic
May. 31st, 2005 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieDuring my lunch break I visited the scary place known as FF.net to see if there were any ROTS stories I wanted to read (yes, I know, I am an endless optimist). There weren't. However, I remain, as always, astounded by the sheer badness of the fanfic there. I bring you some of the "best" summaries, for your delectation. (Of course, the stories themselves might be brilliant and just the summaries bad. Miracles do happen. But I have no desire to subject myself to finding out)
From the Star Wars section (all posted within a few last days):
Obi-Wan decided to hide the truth from Luke. But what if Luke and Leia had made a terrible mistake on Hoth in their ignorance? What if Leia was pregnant with Luke's child? Chapter 14; As Leia receives an image of Han in pain, Luke chooses his path...
*Breathes deeply* I am glad to know that Harry Potter fans aren't the only ones into incest....Wait, breathing deeply didn't help......arrrrrrrrrrrghghghghgh! 14 chapters? 14? 14?????
I wouldn't be doing this if the Empire had fallen 12 years ago and I can't hope that things will be alright...Because I am the last Hope" A girl goes back to save her grandfather(Anakin) and the world. Will she succeed or will destiny add its own twist?
I am all for second chances, but really, how many chances does one get? Will someone perpetually try to save poor Anakin? In every generation of Skywalker family, someone will go off on a quest to save Anakin, so that it will become family tradition....
It is about Luke Skywalker ahving an apprentice and then his apprentice turn to the dark side not again but anyways, it's full of action and keeps at an easy pace.
If only you could be coherent. And also, action and easy pace at the same time? Does the action consist solely of sleeping or leisurely meals?
When queen Jamillia becomes ill a new wave of enemies begins to plan an attack. Obi-Wan and 19 year old Anakin are sent to Naboo to help protect the queen with the help of Adi Gallia and her young and beautiful apprentice Vanie. Sparks begin to fly.R&R!
Who shall be the unfortunate victim of the Mary Sue? Obi-Wan or Anakin? Or *shudder* both? This fic interests me deeply. But, alas, not interested enough to click and find out. Maybe because there is no mention of amethyst eyes and golden hair? Or a 10-syllable name. Surely, that's it.
She was a mistaken subject for drug dealing. He was simply a guy to help her carry in some groceries. What started out as a complex friendship may turn out to be so much more. (Full summary inside)
AND
Padme and Anakin are two people who hate eachother who come from rich families. The Amidala give Padme to Anakin as his bride for alliance between their families. Padme finds herself being seduced by the one man whom she hates. What happens when they f
There's AU, and then there is "why are you posting this in the SW section, exactly?" Also, word limit on summaries is your friend.
Luke has found a new Jedi trainee to help, even though he can't help but feel attracted to her. Right now its like, a K rating, but it'll probably go up to T. And any help would be great, too.
Points for honesty, at least.
Luke has a new apprentice. She has a mastery of the force to match that of Anakin's. But something is weird about her... WARNING: EXTREME CRAZINESS ALERT! MAY DIE OF LAUGHTER! Note: Anakin is good in this story, and he is alive.
I am dying of laughter already. And I haven't even read your story.
Based on Parts of Episode III, Follow Anakin's journey to the dark side in a different way. With all new characters, and new characters that will be sure to capture your imagination..
Glad to hear of the author's confidence...But sadly, not sharing it.
When a Jedi is grieviously injured, Master Luke Skywalker is forced to rebuild his fathers life support suit. The Jedi, thinking the Jedi and Sith hate him, vows to destroy both Jedi and Sith. Almost all characters are based on my friends, PLEASE REVIEW!
Ruuuuun...runnnnnnn....run fast the other way! It's the Clone Army of Mary Sues....
When Anakin finds out the truth about his sister, will they be separated forever? The first chapter chapter stinks, but I will make it up in the rest of the chapters. That's a promise.
But somehow I don't believe you!
When the Head Mage sees a vision that Anakin is turning to the dark side, she sends the fire mage and the dark mage to try and help him not choose the dark side(story is better than summary i promise...i suck at summaries)
Mages? Have I missed something about SW Universe not having any? Better than the summary? No way to go but up, I suppose...
AU. What if love and marriage weren’t against the Jedi Code? What if a Jedi Master had two Padawans, not just one? How different could it all have been? (Obi-WanOC) (Warning: First Star Wars fic)
Warning? At least the author is honest.
Atara (a-tar-uh) Jansen is a new student at the Jedi academy on Yavin-4. However, master Luke and Kyle Katarn notice a great amount of potential in her. The force is strong in her. This story is taken from the view of Atara. Atara, unlike other new fo
Hints to the author:
a. Thank God for the space limit on summaries.
b. Atara does not need a pronounciation guide.
c. But thanks anyway as it's a dead give-away of the Mary Suishness
d. Not that the rest of the summary does not make it clear.
A new girl enters into the Jedi council, but not before proving herself. Being trained by the Jedi master, Luke Skywalker, will she be able to defeat the new menace? Or will her dark past catch up with her and turn her to the dark side? Please read and re
And the author of this one handily proves my points (a) and (d) above. I would think Dark Side is welcome to her. Palpatine is about the only SW character deserving of having a Mary Sue inflicted upon him.
A collection of song parodies based on Lionel Bart's musical Oliver! R&R
I have. No words.
AU Vader stumbled across Luke as Obi-Wan tried to take him to Tatooine. Now, Luke is a fully grown Lord of the Sith, and holds no love for the Rebellion. But a fiery Princess Leia Organa is about to change his mind about that. ANH-ROTJ R&R PLEASE!
Actually sounds good, but for the horrible hint of future incest! Maybe the first summary I posted scarred my mind.
One special character gets his moments. He's lived through three wars, and countless battles. A friend, a senator. A listener. Jar Jar. He reflects on how much Anakin and Padme Skywalker meant to him. One shot. Flame if you must.Reviews welcome.
Now this author has Balls.
AU Phantom Menace. A Jedi Master's daughter has been living with Shmi and Anakin for 6 yrs since she crashed on Tatooine. She doesn't want to leave them, but may have to when Qui-Gon appears. R&R PLEASE!
Is Qui-Gon this fandom's Snape? He does seem to be burdened with Mary Sue daughters. No wonder he died.
When on a mission Obi-Wan falls Pregnant with Qui-Gon's child. Upon finding out the Jedi council send Qui-Gon to a prison moon while Obi-wan is sent to live with his real family. MPREG
On second thought, I think I prefer the Father of Mary Sues Qui-Gon...
Anakin after ROTS. As for the question, the beginning is during Padme's funeral. Rest is right after ROTS. Possibly romance, death, birth, fighting, reconciling OR making new enemies. You never know with me. Full summary inside.
Points for honesty. It's a rare author who admits he has no idea what he is doing. Thanks for helping me to skip over your story.
Hertai was a young 15 year old Jedi sent on a mision to prove his worth to the council before the release of Order 66. But this happeneing and his brother appearing may change the outcome of th fate of the jedi, but how? And his purpose and past...?
Yes, his purpose is to learn proper sentence structure.
Alright, I'm not good at this whole summary thing... But don't make out you've got anyhting remotely more interesting to do than read this, alright? MM SLASH (Best kind).
Yeah, actually I do have something more interesting to do. Making fun of your summary, for one.
Mièle has her own reasons for being in Jabba's palace. But when she's forced to play reluctant nursemaid to a wounded Boba Fett, she finds her life taking a very different path.... (Post ROTJ, slightly AU)
Boba Fett Mary Sue? This fandom really IS undiscriminating (or desperate for men)....But at least it's not a Jar Jar one...Though see below.
Ellie Seelah, a young jedi, decides to take part in the war and helps Anakin and Obi-Wan in there desperate move to save Palpatine from General Grievous. But the confrontation between Ellie and Grievous will lead to an unexpected turn.
I haven't read it, because I don't want to ruin my sheer delight in thinking that this is a Grievous Mary Sue!
Beru has always had feelings for Anakin and now that she's finally met him can he ever return them? AnakinBeru
It might be well written for all I know, but I am afraid my reaction is still: WTF???? Anakin and Beru? But in the Universe where Obi-Wan becomes Mommy anything is possible, I suppose.
It's Darth Vader's birthday, so he's yelling at everyone. When our favorite Sith consumes an overly sugary cookie, all insanity busts loose. Purely crazy.
Luckily, his insanity consists of throttling the author.
A random play I wrote for drama class. It's pretty funny I guess. Guest appearences FROM! Michael Jackson and Ashton Kutcher!
No comment necessary. Or possible, for that matter.
ONESHOT- Set after Padma dies. Darth Vader thinks of what he has done to his beloved Padma. His love for her will never die. Anakin Skywalker is on more, now there is only shadows. Anakin or Darth Vader Padma.
"On more" what? And where can I get it? Also, I didn't know Naboo was in India. And how sweet of Vader, always the feminist, to add an appelation of Padma as his last name.
More than Twenty years have passed as Luke Skywalker as brought the end of the Empire and the Return of the Jedi. There is a new dark side that is wanting to return now that the Jedi are considering Marriage within the Jedi...
Yes, this Dark Side is known as inbreeding.
Mentions of rape, abuse, slavery, child prodigies, human lives as betting chips. Anakin Skywalker is granted a different turn of fate. Title's meaningless, but most of mine are. If tormenting Lucas characters squicks you, begone!
If you are tormenting them by writing bad fic about them, then I am indeed "begone."
AU)What if everyone we know alive and are in hiding or trying find each other. With a dark figure(aka Anakin) watching Jessica(new chara) Skywalker and Luke Skywalker helping their Uncle Owen Lars. Princess Leia OrganaSkywalker comes to Tattooine to find
Kill me now.
THE NEW REPUBLIC IS IN PERIAL AS THE LAST REMANANTS OF THE EMPIRE JOIN TOGETHER AND ALLY THEM SELVES WITH MANY PEOPLE WHO HATE THE REPUBLIC.
They express their hate by jamming the cap lock key.
Whilst on a mission Tira’s master is killed. After being returned to Coruscant the only Jedi available to train her is Obi-Wan. Can Obi handle it? Or will a 15 year old girl get the best of him? 1st posted fic please RR. Criticism welcome
You really don't want my criticism, honey. Also, look up "statutory rape" in a legal dictionary. Please.
Title: The Rouge Jedi
Two Mysterious Jedi. Both not caring toward universal problems. Both seem careless of their actions. When Anakin and Obi-Wan are sent to investigate, they find themselves wrapped in an even bigger problem. AniOC, ObiOC
Sometimes, I simply have to include the title. Rouge Jedi? Rouge? Are they clowns? Communists? Make-up addicts? Alas, the fact that they are TWO Mary Sues will ensure me not finding out.
AU-We all know that when Obi Wan told Luke that he was not the only one with such a power, he commented that Luke had a twin sister, but what if he had meant to say that Luke had a twin AND a sister? What would that mean? Where has his wayward twin been?
He was hiding from badfic. Alas, it has been in vain.
From the Star Wars section (all posted within a few last days):
Obi-Wan decided to hide the truth from Luke. But what if Luke and Leia had made a terrible mistake on Hoth in their ignorance? What if Leia was pregnant with Luke's child? Chapter 14; As Leia receives an image of Han in pain, Luke chooses his path...
*Breathes deeply* I am glad to know that Harry Potter fans aren't the only ones into incest....Wait, breathing deeply didn't help......arrrrrrrrrrrghghghghgh! 14 chapters? 14? 14?????
I wouldn't be doing this if the Empire had fallen 12 years ago and I can't hope that things will be alright...Because I am the last Hope" A girl goes back to save her grandfather(Anakin) and the world. Will she succeed or will destiny add its own twist?
I am all for second chances, but really, how many chances does one get? Will someone perpetually try to save poor Anakin? In every generation of Skywalker family, someone will go off on a quest to save Anakin, so that it will become family tradition....
It is about Luke Skywalker ahving an apprentice and then his apprentice turn to the dark side not again but anyways, it's full of action and keeps at an easy pace.
If only you could be coherent. And also, action and easy pace at the same time? Does the action consist solely of sleeping or leisurely meals?
When queen Jamillia becomes ill a new wave of enemies begins to plan an attack. Obi-Wan and 19 year old Anakin are sent to Naboo to help protect the queen with the help of Adi Gallia and her young and beautiful apprentice Vanie. Sparks begin to fly.R&R!
Who shall be the unfortunate victim of the Mary Sue? Obi-Wan or Anakin? Or *shudder* both? This fic interests me deeply. But, alas, not interested enough to click and find out. Maybe because there is no mention of amethyst eyes and golden hair? Or a 10-syllable name. Surely, that's it.
She was a mistaken subject for drug dealing. He was simply a guy to help her carry in some groceries. What started out as a complex friendship may turn out to be so much more. (Full summary inside)
AND
Padme and Anakin are two people who hate eachother who come from rich families. The Amidala give Padme to Anakin as his bride for alliance between their families. Padme finds herself being seduced by the one man whom she hates. What happens when they f
There's AU, and then there is "why are you posting this in the SW section, exactly?" Also, word limit on summaries is your friend.
Luke has found a new Jedi trainee to help, even though he can't help but feel attracted to her. Right now its like, a K rating, but it'll probably go up to T. And any help would be great, too.
Points for honesty, at least.
Luke has a new apprentice. She has a mastery of the force to match that of Anakin's. But something is weird about her... WARNING: EXTREME CRAZINESS ALERT! MAY DIE OF LAUGHTER! Note: Anakin is good in this story, and he is alive.
I am dying of laughter already. And I haven't even read your story.
Based on Parts of Episode III, Follow Anakin's journey to the dark side in a different way. With all new characters, and new characters that will be sure to capture your imagination..
Glad to hear of the author's confidence...But sadly, not sharing it.
When a Jedi is grieviously injured, Master Luke Skywalker is forced to rebuild his fathers life support suit. The Jedi, thinking the Jedi and Sith hate him, vows to destroy both Jedi and Sith. Almost all characters are based on my friends, PLEASE REVIEW!
Ruuuuun...runnnnnnn....run fast the other way! It's the Clone Army of Mary Sues....
When Anakin finds out the truth about his sister, will they be separated forever? The first chapter chapter stinks, but I will make it up in the rest of the chapters. That's a promise.
But somehow I don't believe you!
When the Head Mage sees a vision that Anakin is turning to the dark side, she sends the fire mage and the dark mage to try and help him not choose the dark side(story is better than summary i promise...i suck at summaries)
Mages? Have I missed something about SW Universe not having any? Better than the summary? No way to go but up, I suppose...
AU. What if love and marriage weren’t against the Jedi Code? What if a Jedi Master had two Padawans, not just one? How different could it all have been? (Obi-WanOC) (Warning: First Star Wars fic)
Warning? At least the author is honest.
Atara (a-tar-uh) Jansen is a new student at the Jedi academy on Yavin-4. However, master Luke and Kyle Katarn notice a great amount of potential in her. The force is strong in her. This story is taken from the view of Atara. Atara, unlike other new fo
Hints to the author:
a. Thank God for the space limit on summaries.
b. Atara does not need a pronounciation guide.
c. But thanks anyway as it's a dead give-away of the Mary Suishness
d. Not that the rest of the summary does not make it clear.
A new girl enters into the Jedi council, but not before proving herself. Being trained by the Jedi master, Luke Skywalker, will she be able to defeat the new menace? Or will her dark past catch up with her and turn her to the dark side? Please read and re
And the author of this one handily proves my points (a) and (d) above. I would think Dark Side is welcome to her. Palpatine is about the only SW character deserving of having a Mary Sue inflicted upon him.
A collection of song parodies based on Lionel Bart's musical Oliver! R&R
I have. No words.
AU Vader stumbled across Luke as Obi-Wan tried to take him to Tatooine. Now, Luke is a fully grown Lord of the Sith, and holds no love for the Rebellion. But a fiery Princess Leia Organa is about to change his mind about that. ANH-ROTJ R&R PLEASE!
Actually sounds good, but for the horrible hint of future incest! Maybe the first summary I posted scarred my mind.
One special character gets his moments. He's lived through three wars, and countless battles. A friend, a senator. A listener. Jar Jar. He reflects on how much Anakin and Padme Skywalker meant to him. One shot. Flame if you must.Reviews welcome.
Now this author has Balls.
AU Phantom Menace. A Jedi Master's daughter has been living with Shmi and Anakin for 6 yrs since she crashed on Tatooine. She doesn't want to leave them, but may have to when Qui-Gon appears. R&R PLEASE!
Is Qui-Gon this fandom's Snape? He does seem to be burdened with Mary Sue daughters. No wonder he died.
When on a mission Obi-Wan falls Pregnant with Qui-Gon's child. Upon finding out the Jedi council send Qui-Gon to a prison moon while Obi-wan is sent to live with his real family. MPREG
On second thought, I think I prefer the Father of Mary Sues Qui-Gon...
Anakin after ROTS. As for the question, the beginning is during Padme's funeral. Rest is right after ROTS. Possibly romance, death, birth, fighting, reconciling OR making new enemies. You never know with me. Full summary inside.
Points for honesty. It's a rare author who admits he has no idea what he is doing. Thanks for helping me to skip over your story.
Hertai was a young 15 year old Jedi sent on a mision to prove his worth to the council before the release of Order 66. But this happeneing and his brother appearing may change the outcome of th fate of the jedi, but how? And his purpose and past...?
Yes, his purpose is to learn proper sentence structure.
Alright, I'm not good at this whole summary thing... But don't make out you've got anyhting remotely more interesting to do than read this, alright? MM SLASH (Best kind).
Yeah, actually I do have something more interesting to do. Making fun of your summary, for one.
Mièle has her own reasons for being in Jabba's palace. But when she's forced to play reluctant nursemaid to a wounded Boba Fett, she finds her life taking a very different path.... (Post ROTJ, slightly AU)
Boba Fett Mary Sue? This fandom really IS undiscriminating (or desperate for men)....But at least it's not a Jar Jar one...Though see below.
Ellie Seelah, a young jedi, decides to take part in the war and helps Anakin and Obi-Wan in there desperate move to save Palpatine from General Grievous. But the confrontation between Ellie and Grievous will lead to an unexpected turn.
I haven't read it, because I don't want to ruin my sheer delight in thinking that this is a Grievous Mary Sue!
Beru has always had feelings for Anakin and now that she's finally met him can he ever return them? AnakinBeru
It might be well written for all I know, but I am afraid my reaction is still: WTF???? Anakin and Beru? But in the Universe where Obi-Wan becomes Mommy anything is possible, I suppose.
It's Darth Vader's birthday, so he's yelling at everyone. When our favorite Sith consumes an overly sugary cookie, all insanity busts loose. Purely crazy.
Luckily, his insanity consists of throttling the author.
A random play I wrote for drama class. It's pretty funny I guess. Guest appearences FROM! Michael Jackson and Ashton Kutcher!
No comment necessary. Or possible, for that matter.
ONESHOT- Set after Padma dies. Darth Vader thinks of what he has done to his beloved Padma. His love for her will never die. Anakin Skywalker is on more, now there is only shadows. Anakin or Darth Vader Padma.
"On more" what? And where can I get it? Also, I didn't know Naboo was in India. And how sweet of Vader, always the feminist, to add an appelation of Padma as his last name.
More than Twenty years have passed as Luke Skywalker as brought the end of the Empire and the Return of the Jedi. There is a new dark side that is wanting to return now that the Jedi are considering Marriage within the Jedi...
Yes, this Dark Side is known as inbreeding.
Mentions of rape, abuse, slavery, child prodigies, human lives as betting chips. Anakin Skywalker is granted a different turn of fate. Title's meaningless, but most of mine are. If tormenting Lucas characters squicks you, begone!
If you are tormenting them by writing bad fic about them, then I am indeed "begone."
AU)What if everyone we know alive and are in hiding or trying find each other. With a dark figure(aka Anakin) watching Jessica(new chara) Skywalker and Luke Skywalker helping their Uncle Owen Lars. Princess Leia OrganaSkywalker comes to Tattooine to find
Kill me now.
THE NEW REPUBLIC IS IN PERIAL AS THE LAST REMANANTS OF THE EMPIRE JOIN TOGETHER AND ALLY THEM SELVES WITH MANY PEOPLE WHO HATE THE REPUBLIC.
They express their hate by jamming the cap lock key.
Whilst on a mission Tira’s master is killed. After being returned to Coruscant the only Jedi available to train her is Obi-Wan. Can Obi handle it? Or will a 15 year old girl get the best of him? 1st posted fic please RR. Criticism welcome
You really don't want my criticism, honey. Also, look up "statutory rape" in a legal dictionary. Please.
Title: The Rouge Jedi
Two Mysterious Jedi. Both not caring toward universal problems. Both seem careless of their actions. When Anakin and Obi-Wan are sent to investigate, they find themselves wrapped in an even bigger problem. AniOC, ObiOC
Sometimes, I simply have to include the title. Rouge Jedi? Rouge? Are they clowns? Communists? Make-up addicts? Alas, the fact that they are TWO Mary Sues will ensure me not finding out.
AU-We all know that when Obi Wan told Luke that he was not the only one with such a power, he commented that Luke had a twin sister, but what if he had meant to say that Luke had a twin AND a sister? What would that mean? Where has his wayward twin been?
He was hiding from badfic. Alas, it has been in vain.
