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dangermousie
I started the jdrama Koizora.
Ahahahahahahahaha. It's a perfect follow-up to Utahime. If Utahime was complex, nuanced, and heart-breaking, Koizora is deliciously trashy and, while trying for heart-breaking, fails miserably and instead brings joy to yours truly.
Koizora is based on a popular cell-phone novel (WTF) and movie of the same name. It follows true love of a 16-year-old girl named Mika who falls for a bad boy with bleached hair and mysterious illness. (Grand husband prospect, that). Kisses, miscarriages, and beanies of doom follow. I repeat: Ahahahahaha.
It's the perfect drama for me, with true teen romance, voiceovers of fake profundity, belief that matching cell-phone straps mean true love, and very very pretty cinematography. The lead actress looks a bit like a Japanese Claire Danes and the lead actor needs to eat and stop using hair bleach.
I confess I am rooting for the other guy, who is nice and quiet and actually decent to her, and has no bleached hair or piercings even if he doesn't play a guitar soulfully in the setting sun. But that latter is hardly a marketable skill, is it?
We open on a pretty pretty shot of nature. Now we have a 90% chance this drama will try to be fake-profound. "We are not just about teen pregnancy and sappiness, really! Jerry Springer doesn't have cinematography like this!"
Our first shot of the heroine, with her peculiar hobby of admiring sky (it's like saying 'I enjoy breathing for a recreational activity.')
She takes pictures of the sky with her camera. And the chance of fake-profundity is now at 100%.
She is pure, pure, pure, pure, PURE!
And in a true Bollywood fashion, her future lurve passes by, with his bike and his mullet:
Look at the boys the girls are crushing on. They call them 'cute', I call them 'juvenile delinquents.'
Seriously, this hair? Not hot on a girl, let alone a teenage boy. Though A for effort.
Our hero soulfully gazes at the heroine (who has just been asked out by cornrows guy). Probably scoping out the hair competition. Or auditioning for Gokusen 4.
I am oddly mesmerized by the anime look and the fact that he is girlier than I am.
Ahhh, girltalk. Of course, it's all about boys.
Hiro is her true love. Because he plays guitar in the setting sun. Oh my.
She asks him to give a note to cornrows (it's the phone number of her friend who has a crush on cornrows):
And he misunderstands and is all 'isn't a love letter old-fashioned.' Mmm. Jealousy and kissing. I admit my shriveled mean heart sort of thawed here....
She pushes him awaaaaay...oh noez. Be careful, he is so skinny he might break.
First kiiiiiiiss....
She talks to her friend who is all Hiro has a gf and it's true true love because they have matching cell-phone staps (actual dialogue). I wake up to the fact that I have no true love with my husband because not only do our cell-phone straps do not match, we have no cell phone straps at all. Crisis!
Her friends set her up with the cute and quiet dark-haired nice guy with no piercings. I am all for it.
If she knew what was good for her she'd hook up with him but in this sort of drama a heroine never does...
Awwww.
Aaaaand...Hiro Smash!
He knocks a bowl out of her hands and punches Nice Guy. I think I am too old to find antisocial tendencies cute.
Girlfight!!!
Maybe I am too old to find the thought of 'first kiss' only with twuuuu wuv awesome either. Come on, get over it, girl.
She lays into him for being selfish and I am all with her except she forgot he is a 16-year-old boy. Duhhhh...
She also points out he still has a gf and he says he broke up with her.
And he says he only kept the cellphone strap because it reminds him of her.
Flashback...he lost his cell, she found it, and sewed the lost bear arm on.
I confess I kinda found it sweet.
He also tells her he likes her.
Since she is a girl that pisses her off even more.
"Hiro was my first at everything." I doubt it. Was he your first at parasailing? Or oral sex? If the latter, in a jdrama, I'll eat my laptop.
Be kind to plants. It will get you laid.
More teenage angstfest talking. With her thanking him for liking her and saying no way can they be a couple. The books are there in the futile attempt to convince the audience that the heroine isn't as dumb as a box of bricks.
It's Hiro's eeeeeevil girlfriend. I think we are about to enter into Haou Airen territory. If we are lucky...
Doodling=true love.
Oh, this is so teen girl decor! That is the only excuse.
Go out with him! He will have a steady job and no track marks on his arm!
Disrupting class=new sexy.
I just can't buy a juvenile delinquent who rides...a bicycle. Teen rebel on a bicycle just doesn't cut it, you know?
She might be peeved but she could get off any time. I am just sayin'...
They rode for ages to get to an unimpressive-looking ditch. But apparently it works as they bond in his favorite place on earth (Hiro, you need to get out more. Before you die tragically, that is, as per Voiceover of Doom).
Cheeeese! Cheese alert! More than normal, that is.
"Hiro, you are like a river." Ooooo-kay.
"My and your beloved things are getting close." I didn't know it was that kind of a drama.
Eat something!
Awww, who am I kidding? My stone heart finds them cute.
This ain't going to get you into ToDai, missy!
Previews!
And we close with this dire warning: "Though there is a scene in this program which shows two people riding on one bike, it is forbidden by law without exception. The shot was filmed securely in a place without any danger. Please absolutely do not imitate."
Ahahahaha. Excellent to the last frame of the first ep.
