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dangermousieSo, in order to relieve stress and to amuse self, I have decided to categorize drama heroes by their occupations. My, my, how many types do we have? And which ones do you want to take home to mother?
So without further ado, I present:
The Guide for Clueless Wannabe Heroine, or How to Pick a Man if You Are Dropped into Drama World
GANGSTER
Forget what you’ve read in the newspapers or seen on news channels. Being a mobster is not just for the evil and violence-inclined. In fact, all GANGSTERS are secretly kind to puppies and small children, and cry most prettily when necessary. In addition, this particular job allows the man in question to wear shiny suits and fetchingly engage in violence. And for once, we don’t have to suspend our disbelief as to why the weedy scholar or grocery clerk has arms of steel: what else do you do in prison but work out? And ladies, never fear. Once he meets you, he will inevitably want to go straight.
Notable examples include the heroes of Lovers, Tree of Heaven, The Outsiders
Notice the fetching presence of blood and suits:
(Lovers)
BUSINESSMAN
The most prevalent profession for a drama hero. You cannot swing a cat without hitting at least ten businessmen at once (Though what kind of person would be sick enough to swing a cat is entirely another matter). In possession of sharp suits and even sharper cheekbones, the BUSINESSMAN is the drama Borg, assimilating all sorts of hapless heroes into their path. A hero might start out as any sort of an untraditional schlub: a crook, a photographer, a playboy, or a sports player. Never fear, by the end of the drama he will imbibe the benefits of both work ethic and shiny briefcase, through his very pores. BUSINESSMAN is perfect for those ladies who like their men able to support them in the style they want to become accustomed to, without worrying about the hordes of anti-fans being the wife of a CELEBRITY will bring.
Notable examples include the heroes of Karei-naru Ichizoku, My Girl, Silence, Beautiful Days, Save the Last Dance for Me and ever other drama you can think of.
Notice the shirt and the unimaginable angst:
(Silence)
CELEBRITY
Are you the gal that wants the big bling, hordes of stares, and envious thoughts of the passerby? Then CELEBRITY is the man for you, as long as you don’t mind obtaining fame and glamour in exchange for your spouse’s wearing the most hideous outfits known to man. Clearly, in order to become a CELEBRITY actor or singer, one has to give up any semblance of looking like a sighted person dressed you. But never fear, despite the hideous wardrobe, CELEBRITY is perhaps the sweetest choice of the bunch, as instead of being spoiled, egotistical, and sluttier than Paris Hilton, the man is sweet, thoughtful, sensitive and with a horrifying family and inner angst that only you can assuage. That is why CELEBRITY inevitably falls in love with a relatively plain girl with no money and status, but a warm-heart and a sweet disposition (cuddly family optional), instead of the plastic-fantastic rich bimbo. So yeah, get a CELEBRITY. Unfortunately, first you must prepare to move to an alternate reality where the above is possible, as so far as the author knows, it is not possible here, at all.
Notable examples include heroes of Full House, Smiling Pasta, Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake.
Warning: May cause blindness and/or insanity
(Smiling Pasta)
SPORTSMAN
Basically a CELEBRITY with a few more mates and probably a few more issues. And not even always famous. But the workouts must do that body good!
Notable examples include the heroes of Pride, Mars
Mmmm...Chen Ling. Yes, I have no snark.
(Mars)
ROYAL/ARISTOCRAT
Clearly you are only allowed to sit on the throne (or near it) if you are so hot that all your subjects want you to be the father of the nation, literally. Yes, even the men. Despite the hotness, status, and shiny jewelry, a ROYAL is only for an intrepid heroine: not only is the family usually scheming to usurp your ROYAL’s power, but you will most likely be forced to go back in time to meet your ROYAL, who is sword-wielding in the medieval world, and do you really think your sweetie is worth dying young from appendicitis for? Not to mention you might encounter the dreaded Beard.
Notable examples include heroes of Jumong, Goong, The Legend
Do you want to give up modern medicine for this hottie?
(The Legend)
BOXER/BODYGUARD
If you don’t mind your date ending up with a concussion, or fewer teeth/differently shaped nose than what he had when you two first met, this guy is for you. Look on the bright side: when it’s his profession to be beaten up (in a BODYGUARD, for your sake!) you have all the opportunity for hurt/comfort your heart might want.
Notable examples include the heroes of Snow Queen, A Love to Kill, 1 Pound No Fukuin
In dramaworld, you can combine boxer/bodyguard/boyfriend into one. Also, he looks like Hyun Bin.
(Snow Queen)
TEACHER
This profession is popular with heroines but with heroes? Not so much. So basically, unless you are a schoolgirl with a thing for much older men, chances are you are out of luck.
Notable examples include the hero of Kyou Kyou Kyushi, GTO, DragonZakura
I don't have any pics from those dramas, so here is Fujiki Naohito who starred in KKK instead.
DOCTOR
I don’t really watch medical dramas, so this hero is not very familiar to me. I do want to note, however, that in Asia all male doctors are not allowed to be not hot. You automatically get kicked out of the medical profession for that. I’d tell you to thus make your stay in hospital a long one, but we all know a scraped knee equals deadly illness, so I say just resist the impulse and stay far away.
Notable examples include the heroes of Thank You, The Hospital, New Heart, Before and After Plastic Surgery
This is what is under that white coat of the hero of Thank You. Mmmm, Jang Hyuk.
(Thank You)
REPORTER
Nosy, nosy, nosy. I don’t really follow newspaper/TV-reporter dramas, but seeing that my second-favorite drama hero was a reporter (Kang Ji Hwan in Capital Scandal), perhaps that is not a bad profession for a drama hero. But then, seeing that even he chucked it at the end in order to become a REBEL, I suppose it’s sort of a lost cause.
Notable examples include Capital Scandal.
Mmmmm.
(Capital Scandal)
LAWYER
Think this is a stable, happily-employed profession which will give you a hero who you could actually introduce to mother? Think again. If he is a D.A. chances are the mobsters are after him (and not the hot, repentant ones like GANGSTER, either). Or hey, he might be a killer himself. Do yourself a favor and stick with BUSINESSMAN instead. He is probably going to be better off financially anyway.
Notable examples include the heroes of Hero, Mawang, Delightful Girl Chun-Hyang, Magic Ring
What's sharper, the suits or the cheekbones?
(Mawang)
HAIRDRESSER/FASHION DESIGNER
Want final proof that drama world is in an alternate universe? Here it is. In drama world, a HAIRDRESSER/FASHION DESIGNER is straight. Yes, indeedy. Not that you would believe it after looking at his skin-tight pants and snake boots. Good luck! Just don’t complain if he calls a guy’s name when you are making out. Though hey, you will always have hair products and fashion tips.
Notable examples include heroes of Beautiful Life, Magicians of Love, Tokyo Juliet
Do you want a man dressed like this designing your wardrobe?
(Tokyo Juliet)
OUTCAST/REBEL
Sometimes he is the man fighting the good fight in an unjust society, sometimes he is wrongly accused, or scraping by on shady jobs. Sometimes he is even *gasp* a gigolo. But never fear, despite his meager monetary gain, he still looks like a million bucks. In fact, he must be so broke because all his money goes into moisturizer and conditioning shampoo. If you prefer disorganized crime to organized one, this is the man for you.
Notable examples include the heroes of MISA, Hong Gil Dong, Sang-Do Let’s Go to School, Smile Again
Pretty pretty crook:
(Liar Game)
STUDENT
An equivalent of the BUSINESSMAN for the younger set, you simply cannot avoid STUDENT, much as you might like to. Unlike a harried workplace-bound individual, STUDENT (high school or college) has plenty of free time to get into fights or into relationships. You can spot him in his uniform, falling in love with a forbidden girl his age, or even more frequently a teacher. So go for it, if you are a teenage bunny, or if you think jail time is not so bad after all (it isn’t if you can meet GANGSTER while thus incarcerated).
Notable examples include heroes of Romance, Hello My Teacher, Majo No Jouken, Hana Yori Dango, Orange Days etc etc etc.
Ridiculously pretty Kang Ta, angsting in and out of uniform
(Loveholic)
ASSASSIN
A relatively small (thank God) subcategory, this one is for the ladies who like their men dashing and unpredictable, and don’t mind a bit of psychosis in exchange for extraordinary skill with their hands, nifty wardrobe, and a yummy guilt complex the size of Nevada. Drama ASSASSINS are inevitably men with haunted pasts and possibly a lost love, who will totally relinquish their world of evil for your sake. Of course, unless your idea of a good relationship is a brief and athletically fulfilling fling, I recommend staying away from said ASSASSINS as the drama universe mandates ASSASSIN cannot have a happily-ever-after even if he repents and has the cut abs of doom. But hey, better him than you. You never know when drama karma decides the best way to punish the hottie is to have him weep artistically over your corpse. So basically, unless you are a terminal illness heroine, I recommend you skedaddle. If you want a guy with issues and weapons, go for GOVERNMENT AGENT instead.
Notable examples include heroes of Handsome Siblings, upcoming Cain & Abel and Strongest Chil Woo, and half the wuxias ever made.
Torn not by the kill count but by lurve:
(Handsome Siblings)
GOVERNMENT AGENT
Think our borders (or Korea/Japan/China/Taiwan borders) are protected by dutiful, collected men who passed a psych evaluation test? Think again. When those yummy men aren’t fondling their guns fetishistically, they are angsting over their lovers or relieving such severe past stress as to lead me to think that the only conceivable reason the department psychologist cleared them for duty is because he is secretly conducting experiments on human breaking point and needed a guinea pig nearby. Their job allows these heroes to get beaten up regularly and wear suits (see GANGSTER), but appeals more to the law-and-order kind of gal. However, be warned. Unlike GANGSTER, the GOVERNMENT AGENT will not just not want to quit his job for love, but also probably earns considerably less.
Notable examples include heroes of Time between Dog and Wolf, Nine-Tailed Fox, Damo.
What's sexier, the gun or the angst?
(Time between Dog and Wolf)
CHEF
What can be better than a man who can cook? A man who can cook while looking sharp, stylish, young, and sexy, and who looks even better dancing with you than dicing tomatoes by the kitchen stove. It is good to be a CHEF as evidently the long, grueling hours are a myth and CHEFS are free to take time out of their huge and shiny kitchen to roam in romantic misery throughout the town. So get a CHEF of your own. Just keep that butter and flour away or a few years down the road, those cheekbones will be hidden just as safely as CELEBRITY’s fashion sense.
Notable examples include heroes of Bambino, Delicious Relationship, Gourmet, Witch Yoo-Hee.
Munching on his own sexiness:
(Witch Yoo Hee)
PRIEST
Yes, no profession is sacred in the drama world. Bwahahahaha. Or something. Men with collars don’t make me hot under my own collar so I have never seen that one. Nor do I intend to.
Notable examples include the hero of The Love Letter and other dramas I have stayed away from because WRONG. Also, thus no pictures.
So without further ado, I present:
The Guide for Clueless Wannabe Heroine, or How to Pick a Man if You Are Dropped into Drama World
GANGSTER
Forget what you’ve read in the newspapers or seen on news channels. Being a mobster is not just for the evil and violence-inclined. In fact, all GANGSTERS are secretly kind to puppies and small children, and cry most prettily when necessary. In addition, this particular job allows the man in question to wear shiny suits and fetchingly engage in violence. And for once, we don’t have to suspend our disbelief as to why the weedy scholar or grocery clerk has arms of steel: what else do you do in prison but work out? And ladies, never fear. Once he meets you, he will inevitably want to go straight.
Notable examples include the heroes of Lovers, Tree of Heaven, The Outsiders
Notice the fetching presence of blood and suits:
(Lovers)
BUSINESSMAN
The most prevalent profession for a drama hero. You cannot swing a cat without hitting at least ten businessmen at once (Though what kind of person would be sick enough to swing a cat is entirely another matter). In possession of sharp suits and even sharper cheekbones, the BUSINESSMAN is the drama Borg, assimilating all sorts of hapless heroes into their path. A hero might start out as any sort of an untraditional schlub: a crook, a photographer, a playboy, or a sports player. Never fear, by the end of the drama he will imbibe the benefits of both work ethic and shiny briefcase, through his very pores. BUSINESSMAN is perfect for those ladies who like their men able to support them in the style they want to become accustomed to, without worrying about the hordes of anti-fans being the wife of a CELEBRITY will bring.
Notable examples include the heroes of Karei-naru Ichizoku, My Girl, Silence, Beautiful Days, Save the Last Dance for Me and ever other drama you can think of.
Notice the shirt and the unimaginable angst:
(Silence)
CELEBRITY
Are you the gal that wants the big bling, hordes of stares, and envious thoughts of the passerby? Then CELEBRITY is the man for you, as long as you don’t mind obtaining fame and glamour in exchange for your spouse’s wearing the most hideous outfits known to man. Clearly, in order to become a CELEBRITY actor or singer, one has to give up any semblance of looking like a sighted person dressed you. But never fear, despite the hideous wardrobe, CELEBRITY is perhaps the sweetest choice of the bunch, as instead of being spoiled, egotistical, and sluttier than Paris Hilton, the man is sweet, thoughtful, sensitive and with a horrifying family and inner angst that only you can assuage. That is why CELEBRITY inevitably falls in love with a relatively plain girl with no money and status, but a warm-heart and a sweet disposition (cuddly family optional), instead of the plastic-fantastic rich bimbo. So yeah, get a CELEBRITY. Unfortunately, first you must prepare to move to an alternate reality where the above is possible, as so far as the author knows, it is not possible here, at all.
Notable examples include heroes of Full House, Smiling Pasta, Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake.
Warning: May cause blindness and/or insanity
(Smiling Pasta)
SPORTSMAN
Basically a CELEBRITY with a few more mates and probably a few more issues. And not even always famous. But the workouts must do that body good!
Notable examples include the heroes of Pride, Mars
Mmmm...Chen Ling. Yes, I have no snark.
(Mars)
ROYAL/ARISTOCRAT
Clearly you are only allowed to sit on the throne (or near it) if you are so hot that all your subjects want you to be the father of the nation, literally. Yes, even the men. Despite the hotness, status, and shiny jewelry, a ROYAL is only for an intrepid heroine: not only is the family usually scheming to usurp your ROYAL’s power, but you will most likely be forced to go back in time to meet your ROYAL, who is sword-wielding in the medieval world, and do you really think your sweetie is worth dying young from appendicitis for? Not to mention you might encounter the dreaded Beard.
Notable examples include heroes of Jumong, Goong, The Legend
Do you want to give up modern medicine for this hottie?
(The Legend)
BOXER/BODYGUARD
If you don’t mind your date ending up with a concussion, or fewer teeth/differently shaped nose than what he had when you two first met, this guy is for you. Look on the bright side: when it’s his profession to be beaten up (in a BODYGUARD, for your sake!) you have all the opportunity for hurt/comfort your heart might want.
Notable examples include the heroes of Snow Queen, A Love to Kill, 1 Pound No Fukuin
In dramaworld, you can combine boxer/bodyguard/boyfriend into one. Also, he looks like Hyun Bin.
(Snow Queen)
TEACHER
This profession is popular with heroines but with heroes? Not so much. So basically, unless you are a schoolgirl with a thing for much older men, chances are you are out of luck.
Notable examples include the hero of Kyou Kyou Kyushi, GTO, DragonZakura
I don't have any pics from those dramas, so here is Fujiki Naohito who starred in KKK instead.
DOCTOR
I don’t really watch medical dramas, so this hero is not very familiar to me. I do want to note, however, that in Asia all male doctors are not allowed to be not hot. You automatically get kicked out of the medical profession for that. I’d tell you to thus make your stay in hospital a long one, but we all know a scraped knee equals deadly illness, so I say just resist the impulse and stay far away.
Notable examples include the heroes of Thank You, The Hospital, New Heart, Before and After Plastic Surgery
This is what is under that white coat of the hero of Thank You. Mmmm, Jang Hyuk.
(Thank You)
REPORTER
Nosy, nosy, nosy. I don’t really follow newspaper/TV-reporter dramas, but seeing that my second-favorite drama hero was a reporter (Kang Ji Hwan in Capital Scandal), perhaps that is not a bad profession for a drama hero. But then, seeing that even he chucked it at the end in order to become a REBEL, I suppose it’s sort of a lost cause.
Notable examples include Capital Scandal.
Mmmmm.
(Capital Scandal)
LAWYER
Think this is a stable, happily-employed profession which will give you a hero who you could actually introduce to mother? Think again. If he is a D.A. chances are the mobsters are after him (and not the hot, repentant ones like GANGSTER, either). Or hey, he might be a killer himself. Do yourself a favor and stick with BUSINESSMAN instead. He is probably going to be better off financially anyway.
Notable examples include the heroes of Hero, Mawang, Delightful Girl Chun-Hyang, Magic Ring
What's sharper, the suits or the cheekbones?
(Mawang)
HAIRDRESSER/FASHION DESIGNER
Want final proof that drama world is in an alternate universe? Here it is. In drama world, a HAIRDRESSER/FASHION DESIGNER is straight. Yes, indeedy. Not that you would believe it after looking at his skin-tight pants and snake boots. Good luck! Just don’t complain if he calls a guy’s name when you are making out. Though hey, you will always have hair products and fashion tips.
Notable examples include heroes of Beautiful Life, Magicians of Love, Tokyo Juliet
Do you want a man dressed like this designing your wardrobe?
(Tokyo Juliet)
OUTCAST/REBEL
Sometimes he is the man fighting the good fight in an unjust society, sometimes he is wrongly accused, or scraping by on shady jobs. Sometimes he is even *gasp* a gigolo. But never fear, despite his meager monetary gain, he still looks like a million bucks. In fact, he must be so broke because all his money goes into moisturizer and conditioning shampoo. If you prefer disorganized crime to organized one, this is the man for you.
Notable examples include the heroes of MISA, Hong Gil Dong, Sang-Do Let’s Go to School, Smile Again
Pretty pretty crook:
(Liar Game)
STUDENT
An equivalent of the BUSINESSMAN for the younger set, you simply cannot avoid STUDENT, much as you might like to. Unlike a harried workplace-bound individual, STUDENT (high school or college) has plenty of free time to get into fights or into relationships. You can spot him in his uniform, falling in love with a forbidden girl his age, or even more frequently a teacher. So go for it, if you are a teenage bunny, or if you think jail time is not so bad after all (it isn’t if you can meet GANGSTER while thus incarcerated).
Notable examples include heroes of Romance, Hello My Teacher, Majo No Jouken, Hana Yori Dango, Orange Days etc etc etc.
Ridiculously pretty Kang Ta, angsting in and out of uniform
(Loveholic)
ASSASSIN
A relatively small (thank God) subcategory, this one is for the ladies who like their men dashing and unpredictable, and don’t mind a bit of psychosis in exchange for extraordinary skill with their hands, nifty wardrobe, and a yummy guilt complex the size of Nevada. Drama ASSASSINS are inevitably men with haunted pasts and possibly a lost love, who will totally relinquish their world of evil for your sake. Of course, unless your idea of a good relationship is a brief and athletically fulfilling fling, I recommend staying away from said ASSASSINS as the drama universe mandates ASSASSIN cannot have a happily-ever-after even if he repents and has the cut abs of doom. But hey, better him than you. You never know when drama karma decides the best way to punish the hottie is to have him weep artistically over your corpse. So basically, unless you are a terminal illness heroine, I recommend you skedaddle. If you want a guy with issues and weapons, go for GOVERNMENT AGENT instead.
Notable examples include heroes of Handsome Siblings, upcoming Cain & Abel and Strongest Chil Woo, and half the wuxias ever made.
Torn not by the kill count but by lurve:
(Handsome Siblings)
GOVERNMENT AGENT
Think our borders (or Korea/Japan/China/Taiwan borders) are protected by dutiful, collected men who passed a psych evaluation test? Think again. When those yummy men aren’t fondling their guns fetishistically, they are angsting over their lovers or relieving such severe past stress as to lead me to think that the only conceivable reason the department psychologist cleared them for duty is because he is secretly conducting experiments on human breaking point and needed a guinea pig nearby. Their job allows these heroes to get beaten up regularly and wear suits (see GANGSTER), but appeals more to the law-and-order kind of gal. However, be warned. Unlike GANGSTER, the GOVERNMENT AGENT will not just not want to quit his job for love, but also probably earns considerably less.
Notable examples include heroes of Time between Dog and Wolf, Nine-Tailed Fox, Damo.
What's sexier, the gun or the angst?
(Time between Dog and Wolf)
CHEF
What can be better than a man who can cook? A man who can cook while looking sharp, stylish, young, and sexy, and who looks even better dancing with you than dicing tomatoes by the kitchen stove. It is good to be a CHEF as evidently the long, grueling hours are a myth and CHEFS are free to take time out of their huge and shiny kitchen to roam in romantic misery throughout the town. So get a CHEF of your own. Just keep that butter and flour away or a few years down the road, those cheekbones will be hidden just as safely as CELEBRITY’s fashion sense.
Notable examples include heroes of Bambino, Delicious Relationship, Gourmet, Witch Yoo-Hee.
Munching on his own sexiness:
(Witch Yoo Hee)
PRIEST
Yes, no profession is sacred in the drama world. Bwahahahaha. Or something. Men with collars don’t make me hot under my own collar so I have never seen that one. Nor do I intend to.
Notable examples include the hero of The Love Letter and other dramas I have stayed away from because WRONG. Also, thus no pictures.
