Worst book ever written: we have a winner.

[dangermousie]

lesbiassparrow's recent post on romance novels made me remember.

I forgot to mention that I recently read Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward, a supposedly paranormal romance.

I don't know about romance, but there was certainly paranormal powers involved in getting it published.

This literally has to be the worst book I ever read, and considering I read things like 'Abolish Lawyer Tyranny' (a self-published rant about cutting off lawyer arms) and an old cook-book which thought it was a good idea to put mayo on jello, that is saying a lot.

I read it, propelled by 'surely this can't be right, right?' feeling, turning each page in growing wonder at where the author finds the illegal susbstances she clearly needs to get the imagination going, and what kind of blackmailing photos she has on the publishers.

The hero is named Zsadist (!!!!!!) and he was apparently a former sex-slave of evil vampire queen. I think I was supposed to find it tragic, but it was hilarious. The whole book was basically an excuse for supernatural porn, but the author would have done better to omit characters and plot altogether, as the former were laughable and the latter non-existent anyway.

The emo made me want to get them a copy of an Avril Lavigne CD and some black nail-polish except I think even that might have been too sophisticated for the characters.

The heroine existed basically the sexually heal our hero (she went into heat at one point, yes. Indeed) and as to the hero, he might have been named Zsadist, but only Zmasochist would want to read about him.

I don't have high standards! I watch 80s Bollywood movies, for goodness' sake. But this book redefines the benefits of literacy. Some people should not have it. The author of this novel is living proof.