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dangermousieI woke up still upset by ‘Doomsday.’
Seriously.
This is ridiculous. I love Doctor Who because it’s cracky, clever, fun, and with a yummy bit of shippiness thrown in. Not for it to become another Farscapian tear-your-heart-out-and-make-you-love-it fest.
Seriously.
‘Doomsday’ might be my favorite ep in the two seasons and I don’t want to rewatch it, ever.
You know what I was thinking about this morning? Careful what you wish for, because wishes shift. If you think about it, what Rose ended up with at the end is exactly, 100% what the Rose-before-Doctor would have wanted: not being some anonymous dead-ending shop girl, but having a mission, a goal, an important job in life instead. Mickey who is not the sweet but useless guy he was in the beginning, but a much cooler (and hotter) Neo-type figure who is a real man. Her dad back from the dead and her family back together, unbroken, her parents in love in front of her face (btw, the Pete/Jackie thing made me sniffle and grin so much. When she says it doesn’t matter how rich he is, and then asks ‘how rich?’ and then he tells her she is not really his wife and vice versa but then they run into each other and hug and kiss like twenty year olds omg).
Yeah? Yeah. Perfect.
Except that is not what she wants any more. She just wanted to be with the Doctor forever, and travel with him forever (as she told him she won’t leave) and to ‘hold his hand’ (I love that she notices his loneliness. I keep thinking about the Olympics ep and her ‘who will hold his hand?’) and I think she even got him somewhat secure in the notion that she is going to stick around and then…
What she wants is the Doctor and now he is the one thing in this shiny new world she can never have. She has made her choice, she gave up everything she wanted and loved for him, but at the end she couldn’t keep him, and her choice was snatched away from her.
And you know, he’s ruined her for other men forever. Whether you are a rabid shipper (guilty) or not at all and think they were friends, any potential future mate would find it hard to compare with the memory of a guy with whom you repeatedly saved the Universe and who took you into the future and the past and beyond the stars.
But you knew it was all going to end badly, didn’t you? Besides the heavy anvils they kept dropping the whole season (I keep thinking about the guy in the delicious fanboy ep and his comment that everyone who comes close to the Doctor pays the horrible price), it’s just the fact that Rose isn’t merely a traveling companion or some sort of a pet. She seems to go at it (time traveling, danger, universe saving, baiting Queen Victoria, whatever) with the same gusto the Doctor does. No wonder he sees her as an equal. But the problem is, the Doctor gets away with it because he is very powerful and because he gets do-overs. And he’s died repeatedly. But Rose doesn’t. She doesn’t get those second chances. Ever.
I am thinking of the awesome two parter on the satan pit planet. Not just the shippy goodness (though about it more below) but in a way, that separation is a little foreshadowing, a little foretaste of the end. Because he goes down into that pit (and I love that he jumps, voluntarily, purely on faith and sheer wonder. This Doctor is insane but gloriously so. He gives me shivers) and he asks Ida (??) to tell her [Rose]… and then he doesn’t finish and adds ‘oh, she knows’ and that is the thing, isn’t it? He loves Rose (in my view romantically, but doesn’t have to be for this discussion) but he cannot say it, cannot open up, even when the separation is final. And at the end of ‘Doomsday’ at the very last moment of them being able to be together, when she finally tells him ‘I love you’ and he replies ‘Quite right, too’ (and OMG his face!) and then says it’s his last chance to say it so he will and goes ‘Rose Tyler…’ but the transmission cuts out before he can complete his sentence? It’s like their relationship, forever incomplete and interrupted (side note: very clever of TPTB, with the interruption. That way shippers like me can have our ILY and geners like Mr. Mousie can believe there is no romantic love).
And she goes mental in 'satan pit' when she finds out he ‘died’ (and Ida tells her he said her name) and she refuses to leave even if he is dead, because she doesn’t want him to be alone, and the crew has to knock her out. And it turns out to be temporary, he is back at the end (the look on her face, the hug, OMG OMG) but little does she know…
But his speech about Rose in Satan Pit came true. When he tells the Devil (or whatever that thing was, I love that he doesn’t care, that he is agnostic confronting the limits of his knowledge and limitations of faith) during that brilliant, off-kilter scene that he has seen Gods and Demigods and etc etc but the one thing he believes in this world is Rose, that he believes in her, and that conviction is right in that ep, she is not a victim, she kills the Devil’s spirit, and he kills the body, they save the world together, it comes true in Doomsday again, doesn’t it? She saves the world. She sacrifices her life (or she would have if Pete didn’t appear at the last moment) for the world.
And another parallel between Satan Pit and Doomsday. When he and Ida are trapped there below, no way to get back, and she says they never will, but he replies ‘I will get back. Rose is up there’ (btw, all these quotes are paraphrases, sorry) and there is no doubt but flat finality in his voice, utter certainty? I love it. And it works out in the end, that time. She kissed his helmet and told him to come back in one piece and he did. But it doesn’t always work out. The universe isn’t always kind and luck runs out. And so, at the end, he has to leave her, he can’t come back, or she can’t come back, whichever way your universe tilts, but they can’t be together.
And she is left scrabbling at that wall, sobbing to be let to go back, but what kills me in that scene isn’t her sobs, though it did make me cry. It’s his face, as he puts it to the wall, on the other side of the barrier between universe, the closest they can ever get, now, and he just looks straight into the camera, and his eyes kill me.
Because he made the choice for her, for her to be safe, and sent her away but she came back anyway and he was so glad because it was a reprieve for him as well (whether you think it’s romantic or not, there is no doubt the Doctor is crushingly lonely and for long chunks Rose was the one thing he had to help him hold on to his humanity) but it was sort of a taunting taste and he had to lose her and she had to leave all over again.
He is so fixated on protecting her during their whole time together and in a way he succeeded, just as he promised Jackie, but in a way he ultimately failed. He can’t have what he wants any more than she can. (Btw, this is a total nonsequitur, but how much do I love that when they are trapped in satan pit, his main, first concern is that he trapped Rose there. Not for himself or anything else. But Rose. And her reply that trapped with him isn’t so bad, and making a comment about sharing a house).
And the bit at the end, with the projection is just…oh God. I am seriously teary eyed just thinking of it. And the way they look at each other, and the fact that they can’t touch, not at the end, and they were so tactile the whole time (they hug during bad, like when they are trapped in satan pit, or during good, as when he comes back during Olympics ep) but they can't touch now, and just the whole conversation and ily and all that and omg omg omg, at the end.
The Doctor alone in TARDIS and the look in his eyes and there are tears on his face.
I died.
I died.
I have also clearly written a whole volume.
You know, I don’t think I am a Whovian after all. Let me explain. If Mr. Mousie gets S3 on DVD or something, I am not going to plug my ears and shut my eyes. But I don’t really have any interest in a post-Rose show. I am not a crazy shipper in the sense of ‘omg, the show can’t work without Rose blah blah.’ That’s absurd. It can, and I am sure S3 was excellent, as many posts on my flist seem to indicate. But the thing is, it’s not interesting to me. Because so much of what I loved was Rose and Rose/Doctor dynamic, and this is obviously gone. I never saw ‘classic Who’ so I came into the show with the reimagining, with Rose. And now she is gone, so am I. At least for now.
It is in no way aspersion on the show, or new companion, or anything of the sort. I am sure it all works. But you know, it’s like really good liquor. Or like James Joyce or Modernist art. I can appreciate and understand that it’s excellent in quality, but it’s just not my thing.
In other news, I bring you a bunch of Rose/Doctor vids I found on youtube. And I am off to scour for fic.
The first two vids made me cry again:
I also decided to cheer self up (huh) by continuing the Farscape rewatch with S2’s ‘Look at the Princess’ part 2.
This ep has one of my favorite scenes: Crichton in space, out-crazing Scorpius, and rescuing himself through sheer insanity. This is the first time he hears the chip, isn’t it? That scene is amazing, and heroic, and all sorts of heart-breaking. Of course, what Scorpius, who has notably recognized John as another individual by now, even if that recognition is in shape of wanting to triumph over him, it’s still a step up from ‘lab rat’ view of the rest of the world, what Scorpius isn’t reckoning with, yet, that Crichton would rather die, literally, than surrender himself, so he better find some other lever, because threatening his life would never work.
I find myself both understanding Aeryn in this ep, and being very frustrated by her. She wants all these things from Crichton, but she won’t give an inch, or a hint, or a hope in return. The only reason this marriage bugs her is because she loves him because from every other vantage point, it’s a good good thing, and it’s not as if she is from species which believes you can’t marry without romantic love. And Crichton can fight even when broken, as he proves over and over, but he needs something to fight for and now he doesn’t have anything and she is not willing to provide it.
I do love her ‘diplomacy’ with Katralla and Jenovia and the awesome putdown line to Casanova guy of ‘it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.’ Heh. But she didn’t even show up at the wedding. Oh Aeryn. So brave in battle, so good at running away emotionally.
And D’Argo is being an awesome friend in this one (and his ‘good news/bad news’ cracks is one of my fave FS things ever) and John bitchslapping Prince Clavor and the story with Zhaan and Moya and Pilot that makes me cry in the sheer defenseless peace and resignation of the ship and pilot and righteous rage of Zhaan.
Awesome ep.
In drama news, I watched ep 15 of Jumong which might be summed up at ‘more salt talk, Jumong looks really hot when blackmailing his evil brothers, and I ship the alternaship of Jumong/Shrine Maid because Sosuhno is in no need of rescuing’ and am through ep 6 of Sweet 18 but with a lot of fastforwarding as it has no angst or dramatic conflict and I am afraid despite the main couple being adorable, I am rooting for the bad girl as she is played by Lee Da Hae.
Seriously.
This is ridiculous. I love Doctor Who because it’s cracky, clever, fun, and with a yummy bit of shippiness thrown in. Not for it to become another Farscapian tear-your-heart-out-and-make-you-love-it fest.
Seriously.
‘Doomsday’ might be my favorite ep in the two seasons and I don’t want to rewatch it, ever.
You know what I was thinking about this morning? Careful what you wish for, because wishes shift. If you think about it, what Rose ended up with at the end is exactly, 100% what the Rose-before-Doctor would have wanted: not being some anonymous dead-ending shop girl, but having a mission, a goal, an important job in life instead. Mickey who is not the sweet but useless guy he was in the beginning, but a much cooler (and hotter) Neo-type figure who is a real man. Her dad back from the dead and her family back together, unbroken, her parents in love in front of her face (btw, the Pete/Jackie thing made me sniffle and grin so much. When she says it doesn’t matter how rich he is, and then asks ‘how rich?’ and then he tells her she is not really his wife and vice versa but then they run into each other and hug and kiss like twenty year olds omg).
Yeah? Yeah. Perfect.
Except that is not what she wants any more. She just wanted to be with the Doctor forever, and travel with him forever (as she told him she won’t leave) and to ‘hold his hand’ (I love that she notices his loneliness. I keep thinking about the Olympics ep and her ‘who will hold his hand?’) and I think she even got him somewhat secure in the notion that she is going to stick around and then…
What she wants is the Doctor and now he is the one thing in this shiny new world she can never have. She has made her choice, she gave up everything she wanted and loved for him, but at the end she couldn’t keep him, and her choice was snatched away from her.
And you know, he’s ruined her for other men forever. Whether you are a rabid shipper (guilty) or not at all and think they were friends, any potential future mate would find it hard to compare with the memory of a guy with whom you repeatedly saved the Universe and who took you into the future and the past and beyond the stars.
But you knew it was all going to end badly, didn’t you? Besides the heavy anvils they kept dropping the whole season (I keep thinking about the guy in the delicious fanboy ep and his comment that everyone who comes close to the Doctor pays the horrible price), it’s just the fact that Rose isn’t merely a traveling companion or some sort of a pet. She seems to go at it (time traveling, danger, universe saving, baiting Queen Victoria, whatever) with the same gusto the Doctor does. No wonder he sees her as an equal. But the problem is, the Doctor gets away with it because he is very powerful and because he gets do-overs. And he’s died repeatedly. But Rose doesn’t. She doesn’t get those second chances. Ever.
I am thinking of the awesome two parter on the satan pit planet. Not just the shippy goodness (though about it more below) but in a way, that separation is a little foreshadowing, a little foretaste of the end. Because he goes down into that pit (and I love that he jumps, voluntarily, purely on faith and sheer wonder. This Doctor is insane but gloriously so. He gives me shivers) and he asks Ida (??) to tell her [Rose]… and then he doesn’t finish and adds ‘oh, she knows’ and that is the thing, isn’t it? He loves Rose (in my view romantically, but doesn’t have to be for this discussion) but he cannot say it, cannot open up, even when the separation is final. And at the end of ‘Doomsday’ at the very last moment of them being able to be together, when she finally tells him ‘I love you’ and he replies ‘Quite right, too’ (and OMG his face!) and then says it’s his last chance to say it so he will and goes ‘Rose Tyler…’ but the transmission cuts out before he can complete his sentence? It’s like their relationship, forever incomplete and interrupted (side note: very clever of TPTB, with the interruption. That way shippers like me can have our ILY and geners like Mr. Mousie can believe there is no romantic love).
And she goes mental in 'satan pit' when she finds out he ‘died’ (and Ida tells her he said her name) and she refuses to leave even if he is dead, because she doesn’t want him to be alone, and the crew has to knock her out. And it turns out to be temporary, he is back at the end (the look on her face, the hug, OMG OMG) but little does she know…
But his speech about Rose in Satan Pit came true. When he tells the Devil (or whatever that thing was, I love that he doesn’t care, that he is agnostic confronting the limits of his knowledge and limitations of faith) during that brilliant, off-kilter scene that he has seen Gods and Demigods and etc etc but the one thing he believes in this world is Rose, that he believes in her, and that conviction is right in that ep, she is not a victim, she kills the Devil’s spirit, and he kills the body, they save the world together, it comes true in Doomsday again, doesn’t it? She saves the world. She sacrifices her life (or she would have if Pete didn’t appear at the last moment) for the world.
And another parallel between Satan Pit and Doomsday. When he and Ida are trapped there below, no way to get back, and she says they never will, but he replies ‘I will get back. Rose is up there’ (btw, all these quotes are paraphrases, sorry) and there is no doubt but flat finality in his voice, utter certainty? I love it. And it works out in the end, that time. She kissed his helmet and told him to come back in one piece and he did. But it doesn’t always work out. The universe isn’t always kind and luck runs out. And so, at the end, he has to leave her, he can’t come back, or she can’t come back, whichever way your universe tilts, but they can’t be together.
And she is left scrabbling at that wall, sobbing to be let to go back, but what kills me in that scene isn’t her sobs, though it did make me cry. It’s his face, as he puts it to the wall, on the other side of the barrier between universe, the closest they can ever get, now, and he just looks straight into the camera, and his eyes kill me.
Because he made the choice for her, for her to be safe, and sent her away but she came back anyway and he was so glad because it was a reprieve for him as well (whether you think it’s romantic or not, there is no doubt the Doctor is crushingly lonely and for long chunks Rose was the one thing he had to help him hold on to his humanity) but it was sort of a taunting taste and he had to lose her and she had to leave all over again.
He is so fixated on protecting her during their whole time together and in a way he succeeded, just as he promised Jackie, but in a way he ultimately failed. He can’t have what he wants any more than she can. (Btw, this is a total nonsequitur, but how much do I love that when they are trapped in satan pit, his main, first concern is that he trapped Rose there. Not for himself or anything else. But Rose. And her reply that trapped with him isn’t so bad, and making a comment about sharing a house).
And the bit at the end, with the projection is just…oh God. I am seriously teary eyed just thinking of it. And the way they look at each other, and the fact that they can’t touch, not at the end, and they were so tactile the whole time (they hug during bad, like when they are trapped in satan pit, or during good, as when he comes back during Olympics ep) but they can't touch now, and just the whole conversation and ily and all that and omg omg omg, at the end.
The Doctor alone in TARDIS and the look in his eyes and there are tears on his face.
I died.
I died.
I have also clearly written a whole volume.
You know, I don’t think I am a Whovian after all. Let me explain. If Mr. Mousie gets S3 on DVD or something, I am not going to plug my ears and shut my eyes. But I don’t really have any interest in a post-Rose show. I am not a crazy shipper in the sense of ‘omg, the show can’t work without Rose blah blah.’ That’s absurd. It can, and I am sure S3 was excellent, as many posts on my flist seem to indicate. But the thing is, it’s not interesting to me. Because so much of what I loved was Rose and Rose/Doctor dynamic, and this is obviously gone. I never saw ‘classic Who’ so I came into the show with the reimagining, with Rose. And now she is gone, so am I. At least for now.
It is in no way aspersion on the show, or new companion, or anything of the sort. I am sure it all works. But you know, it’s like really good liquor. Or like James Joyce or Modernist art. I can appreciate and understand that it’s excellent in quality, but it’s just not my thing.
In other news, I bring you a bunch of Rose/Doctor vids I found on youtube. And I am off to scour for fic.
The first two vids made me cry again:
I also decided to cheer self up (huh) by continuing the Farscape rewatch with S2’s ‘Look at the Princess’ part 2.
This ep has one of my favorite scenes: Crichton in space, out-crazing Scorpius, and rescuing himself through sheer insanity. This is the first time he hears the chip, isn’t it? That scene is amazing, and heroic, and all sorts of heart-breaking. Of course, what Scorpius, who has notably recognized John as another individual by now, even if that recognition is in shape of wanting to triumph over him, it’s still a step up from ‘lab rat’ view of the rest of the world, what Scorpius isn’t reckoning with, yet, that Crichton would rather die, literally, than surrender himself, so he better find some other lever, because threatening his life would never work.
I find myself both understanding Aeryn in this ep, and being very frustrated by her. She wants all these things from Crichton, but she won’t give an inch, or a hint, or a hope in return. The only reason this marriage bugs her is because she loves him because from every other vantage point, it’s a good good thing, and it’s not as if she is from species which believes you can’t marry without romantic love. And Crichton can fight even when broken, as he proves over and over, but he needs something to fight for and now he doesn’t have anything and she is not willing to provide it.
I do love her ‘diplomacy’ with Katralla and Jenovia and the awesome putdown line to Casanova guy of ‘it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.’ Heh. But she didn’t even show up at the wedding. Oh Aeryn. So brave in battle, so good at running away emotionally.
And D’Argo is being an awesome friend in this one (and his ‘good news/bad news’ cracks is one of my fave FS things ever) and John bitchslapping Prince Clavor and the story with Zhaan and Moya and Pilot that makes me cry in the sheer defenseless peace and resignation of the ship and pilot and righteous rage of Zhaan.
Awesome ep.
In drama news, I watched ep 15 of Jumong which might be summed up at ‘more salt talk, Jumong looks really hot when blackmailing his evil brothers, and I ship the alternaship of Jumong/Shrine Maid because Sosuhno is in no need of rescuing’ and am through ep 6 of Sweet 18 but with a lot of fastforwarding as it has no angst or dramatic conflict and I am afraid despite the main couple being adorable, I am rooting for the bad girl as she is played by Lee Da Hae.
