dangermousie | There will be a day soon when I stop metaing The Outsiders. Today is not the day

If Ah Hao ever cheats on Yu Yen with Xiao Die (the girl who reminds him of premob YY) this will be the weirdest proof of love ever but that is what it would be (not that I think he will or anything, though he might, just thinking). I know, it sounds insane, but it really just highlights how hung up he is on YY. Because he is so seeing XD as the earlier YY, his chance to treat YY right. Just look at his face when he sees XD all tarted up. He recognizes the necessity but it's like watching destruction of his YY all over again.

And he is extra gentle to her. It's as if he can't be gentle to YY anymore, because she is tough hardened soul now, and she flinches from his touch (because of her rape), and there all these barriers of unspoken things between them, but it's as if he is reliving being with YY earlier, before everything got screwed up, and showing her caring he can't show YY. (And oh, the irony. The irony. He managed to protect the YY wannabe from being raped, but he unknowingly failed to do the same with the real YY, the woman he loves).

In a way, while YY was 100% right to keep her rape from Ah Hao, that huge secret built thick walls between them, because not only did she become tough, but he didn't even know why and so he was faced with the bewilderment of not knowing the reason for a massive change. A huge secret in a relationship also naturally leads to distance, too. Especially since, even years later, YY is horribly scarred by the rape.

(I posted this in a reply to

kitsune714 but I wanted to put it in a post, just in case others wanted to chime in): 'I know it's a random question, but I assume by the time she got raped, she and Ah Hao already made love, right? Because they've been living together for ages, and also, if that wasn't the case, there was no way she could have tolerated starting to make love with him, after such a first experience, without giving herself away (maybe I am just an overinvested girl and just want her first experience with sex to be loving and not horrific, though). Of course, regardless, that scarred her for life. I know this is a horribly shallow comment, but Ah Bao deserves to be burned at the stake because it's the ultimate bad luck to be the girlfriend of someone as gorgeous as Ah Hao, who is also completely mad about you, and when you love him too, and still feel freaked out about intimacy and probably remember the rape of the evil guy every time the love of your life touches you. (I think since she kept it a secret, she never processed it properly).

I mean, I ended up crying when he comes home after she had her rape flashback nightmare, and he is so sweet and tender and asks her to stay and tells her he missed her and starts kissing her neck and it's gorgeous and wonderful and she loves him as much as he loves her, but she is frozen in misery, barely containing herself from bolting. (Btw, Dylan Kuo kissing Ady An's shoulders? All sorts of HOT). And he sees her flinch and his hands drop to his sides and Oh. OH. WOOBIES. Poor woobies. Whatever the death toll of this drama, I want Ah Bao (who did achieve perfect revenge on Ah Hao after all) to be among it. Once again, unlikely to know, but have they even made love much after the rape? His reaction to her withdrawal seems to indicate it's a pretty common thing.'

Some pictures from Episode 12,

Reacting to Xiao Die be all tarted up. It's so hitting a nerve:

Reacting to Xiao Die letting her hair down. Oh man, he is having such a Yu Yen flashback:

She, OTOH, is falling for him. And why not? He is a gorgeous, kind savior. And she doesn't know he has an OTP:

I really love this shot. He's got the most awesome smile:

OMG. Yu Yen reliving her rape:

This scene tore my heart out and danced on the remains, singing 'Lydia.' He comes home after her flashback, and is so gentle and she flinches and it is all...so painful. And the worst thing is she loves him so much and the other worst thing is he is so unsurprised by the rejection and so it must happen often and he has no idea why. (The pics are a bit dark, sorry):