Tree of Heaven: finished.
Mar. 11th, 2007 07:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieI finished Tree of Heaven.
Oh.
I have marathonned the entire drama in three days, being zombified, while sick. I haven't been this in love with a drama since at least My Girl. I have liked a whole bunch of other dramas, and I have gotten obsessed about some only to lose interest (looking at Loveholic here). But it has been so long since a drama grabbed me by the throat like this from the opening moments and made me glued to the screen until the end.
In fact, while My Girl is my favorite 'light' kdrama, I think ToH has replaced A Love to Kill as my favorite 'angsty' drama. What it has in common with ALtK is the theme of almost obsessive co-dependent love. My favorite thing in fiction is the concept of a person destroyed by love (not necessarily in a bad way). But he has to be a strong person because otherwise what is the point? And oh GOD. Yoon-Suh is amazing. He is one of the most masculine drama heroes out there and yet he can't control his feeling for Hana.
Why else is ToH so awesome? It's beautifully filmed. It looks like a movie and full of images that will stick with me: the brightness of snow, the black-dressed men lined like mannequins. Close-ups on Hana and YS's eyes. There is the pacing. At 10 episodes it is the shortest kdrama I've ever seen (they usually run 16-20+ eps) and the pace never lags. There is the story. Somehow, while full of angst, it is never too depressing, too over-the-top, too gloomy. It's actually uplifting. But most of all? It's Lee Wan as Yoon-Suh. He is amazing. His character is amazing. And he has the most speaking eyes and expressive face. And he is gorgeous (check out![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alexandral's picspam if you don't believe me). I am half-afraid to watch him in anything else because I am so in love with his portrayal of Yoon-Suh.
Btw, the only reason I am coherent? I finished the drama about seven hours ago. When I first finished it, after I was done crying, I went and hugged Mr. Mousie really really tightly.
Oh.
"I'll be your tree."
As Hana prepares to board the train for the reunion, Yoon-Suh is on his way to turn himself in (the tenderness in his gesture and face as he lightly strokes her hair as she sleeps, kills me). And as she is waiting for him on the platform, he is watching her, drinking her in. And he calls her and tells her he will be late. And he says that even if he is very late, please, will she wait for him? *dies* And she doesn't realize anything odd is going on and asks him to bring a cake. And then she is about to hang up and he is so desperate for some last contact. He asks her, if she has anything else to say to him, and she is beginning to figure out something is seriously wrong. And she says 'I love you. I love you.' His face. And he hangs up. And as she gets on the train she looks up and sees him and she runs to the closing door, unbuttoning his cross and she throws it on the platform and he picks it up.
Oh.
But on his way, Shimada attacks him and wounds him and Maya (who's been following him) sees it and she hits Shimada with her car killing him.
And OMG. The final doomed act.
YS breaks down, crying over the body, begging him to be alive and as Maya (horrified by his reaction) gets out of the car, he looks up at her, utterly destroyed. Because even if he didn't kill him with his own hands, the man died because of him and so he can never be clean for Hana to be with. That is not something that can be viped out (that is why later he takes the rap for Maya, I believe. He owes her, but also, it's all the same to him).
And he is completely emotionally naked. And he looks up at Maya, sobbing that he can never go back to Hana now and 'do you know how hard it was to leave her?'
Oh.
I bawled.
BAWLED.
He puts her on such an impossible pedestal as the one good thing in his life so of course he can't sully her now. Inside he is still that messed up young boy.
So wearily he eventually collects himself. And he goes with Maya to buy the cake (!!!) all wounded and with police search for him and goes to the reunion. And while there he squares in a judo match with Senpai. And while fighting he begs Senpai to lose to him and to marry Hana. And he whispers to him that 'I can't be with her. I killed a man.' And Senpai, shocked, lets him 'win.'
And YS gets up and picks up watching smiling Hana by the hand and announces in front of everyone that Hana and Senpai should get married.
And Hana will of course have none of it, and stares at him, incomprehending.
And he kneels saying that he is Hana's brother and he loved her but true love is the steady watchful love of Senpai not his.
Oh no.
Nononononono.
I was yelling at the TV at that point. Things like 'she doesn't care, you silly idiot! Take her to a cabin to make babies. That will help the stress.' If he is that intense, he's gotta be really intense in the sack :D And he needs to relax. And if he ever slept with her he will feel it would be dishonorable to leave her. Because however ruined his honor, he is always honorable to her. That is why he doesn't. Also he probably feels he is unworthy of touching her.
And he walks out and Maya is waiting there (you know, I ended up not hating her by the end. She really loved him). And he walks to her, as Hana watches (mind you, Maya made her life a misery and if there is a woman she hates, not that she is capable of hating, it's Maya). And he looks like death. And he whispers 'help me' and he leans in and kisses her on the mouth.
While a tear rolls down his cheek.
And he breaks the kiss and whispers 'Thank you.' And gets into the car with her.
And Hana is screaming 'liar, liar, liar' and runs after the car. Such a mirror of the scene when they were in school (may I take a moment to say how much I hate the Aunt. If she only admitted about the deaths of the parents when she found out, then Hana wouldn't have been afraid to admit her feelings and graduation disaster wouldn't have happened and he wouldn't have ran off to join the mob and they would have been happy together).
And he arranges for a meeting in a club with her and Senpai. Maya's club. And he is there hugging Maya, dancing with Maya. And Hana starts knocking down booze and he has to physically stop her. And then they are dancing, she with Senpai and he with Maya but all they are looking at are each other.
And Senpai (who is a decent bloke. It's not his fault he is caught in this stronger-than-death love affair) offers the last dance with Hana to Yoon-Suh. And they are dancing and she says she won't marry Senpai. And he admits to her he was in the Mob. And that he killed a man.
OMG.
And she faints and the cops are coming for him and he runs.
And the next scene that made me scream? She is at the lodge. And she is 'I don't care if you've killed someone, I love you anyway' and she stays in her old room and OMG OMG he is outside her window.
And she tells him she will wait for him, a year, two, twenty. But he insists she should marry Senpai because it will make her happy and him happy. And that he is turning himself in to the cops (because even though he can't ever be clean enough to stand before her as a lover, at least he wants to be clean enough to be beside her in some capacity, I suppose).
And there is talk of how in 20 years, she will have a daughter who will look like her.
Did I mention I was bawling throughout? Because I was.
And he does the same tracing of her face through the window as they did years before. And he disappears into the dark.
OMG OMG.
And then it's her wedding day. And she is crying and her best friend (who is awesome and adorable. I want to write fic where she hooks up with Senpai who is a wonderful guy and deserves someone). And Senpai made YS promise to come. And the mob knows he will show up for Hana's wedding. So they are waiting there to kill him. I am whimpering at that point.
And he shows up (white shirt btw, yum!) And she is supposed to promise to love forever but she is frozen and then she turns around and sees him there and he is mouthing for her to be happy and she agrees to love Senpai forever because YS is asking it of her. OMG. How screwed up is it? Her biggest gift to him is to agree to his wish for her happiness by marrying another man.
And the look on his face as she says yes? Made me cry. It's like his soul has been sucked away.
And he walks away, walking down the street to the cops. And the assassin stabs him. And at that same moment the ring she was holding drops to the ground.
And even mortally wounded he is still crawling to the cops, because he wants to stand clean before Hana even if it's impossible now.
And meanwhile, Hana drops the ring. And she says 'Sorry, I can't' to Senpai and goes running. Running. After Yoon-Suh. Long gorgeous white wedding dress and veil flying after her.
And she sees him as he is half-crawling half-leaning on a railing. And she sees the Mob car is about to run him over and he is so out of it he is in no shape to get out of the way. And she jumps to pull him away, out of the way, protecting him with her body and they both get hit.
I really love that their love for each other is equal. They are both willing and ready to give up their lives, their peace, their happiness for each other.
And they are lying on the ground, as the mob car drives away and the stunned bystanders are gaping. And there is bright red on their faces, on her white wedding dress and on his white shirt. But even dying, they are staring only at each other. And slowly (you get the sense it takes all their effort) they are reaching their hands to each other.
And they do! And their fingers touch and interlace, and they are lying there, holding on in a death grip.
OH.
Did I mention the unpretty messy crying I was doing?
And they are in the hospital and both dying. (Meanwhile Maya confessed to Shimada's murder but it doesn't really matter for them). Neither of them has a will to live. Hana's heart has been damaged and she needs a donor. And Yoon-Suh is conscious and he has his cellphone. And Senpai goes to see him, begging him to live for Hana's sake because Hana doesn't need anyone but YS. But YS just smiles and OMG OMG OMG OMG.
He died.
HE DIED.
I knew he did even before I started this drama but I bawled. BAWLED.
And I bet he let go on purpose, so Hana would have a donor.
And next we see, Hana gets out at the old inn and she is expecting YS to be there to meet her for her bday (because Senpai and her Best Friend said he'll be there). And they tell her he isn't coming.
And they tell her the truth about her heart.
OMG.
And she breaks down.
And then as she is sitting in the dark room, looking at the sketchbook full of drawings of her, her fall pings.
And it's him.
He recorded it for her!!!!
And he sings that song (awfully badly, as he can barely whisper) and he tells her that now he can always be with her and he won't be cold any more and OMG OMG OMG.
And she collapses on the ground screaming 'Oppa...Oppa..Oppa...Oppa' over and over and over.
WOW.
And in the last scenes, she has both halves of the cross (his and hers) on, and she is scattering his ashes, saying to take care because their love is only beginning. And she walks off back to the lodge, dark figure swallowed by the white of the snow.
Oh WOW.
OH WOW.
This was incredible. Even though I am only watching happy dramas for a while, this was INCREDIBLE.
WOW.
I am actually shaking just thinking about it.
I so desperately want to write AU fic where they both survive and go away and heal each other and are happy. Yes, it turned me back to 15.
Oh.
I have no words.
Oh.
I have marathonned the entire drama in three days, being zombified, while sick. I haven't been this in love with a drama since at least My Girl. I have liked a whole bunch of other dramas, and I have gotten obsessed about some only to lose interest (looking at Loveholic here). But it has been so long since a drama grabbed me by the throat like this from the opening moments and made me glued to the screen until the end.
In fact, while My Girl is my favorite 'light' kdrama, I think ToH has replaced A Love to Kill as my favorite 'angsty' drama. What it has in common with ALtK is the theme of almost obsessive co-dependent love. My favorite thing in fiction is the concept of a person destroyed by love (not necessarily in a bad way). But he has to be a strong person because otherwise what is the point? And oh GOD. Yoon-Suh is amazing. He is one of the most masculine drama heroes out there and yet he can't control his feeling for Hana.
Why else is ToH so awesome? It's beautifully filmed. It looks like a movie and full of images that will stick with me: the brightness of snow, the black-dressed men lined like mannequins. Close-ups on Hana and YS's eyes. There is the pacing. At 10 episodes it is the shortest kdrama I've ever seen (they usually run 16-20+ eps) and the pace never lags. There is the story. Somehow, while full of angst, it is never too depressing, too over-the-top, too gloomy. It's actually uplifting. But most of all? It's Lee Wan as Yoon-Suh. He is amazing. His character is amazing. And he has the most speaking eyes and expressive face. And he is gorgeous (check out
alexandral's picspam if you don't believe me). I am half-afraid to watch him in anything else because I am so in love with his portrayal of Yoon-Suh. Btw, the only reason I am coherent? I finished the drama about seven hours ago. When I first finished it, after I was done crying, I went and hugged Mr. Mousie really really tightly.
Oh.
"I'll be your tree."
As Hana prepares to board the train for the reunion, Yoon-Suh is on his way to turn himself in (the tenderness in his gesture and face as he lightly strokes her hair as she sleeps, kills me). And as she is waiting for him on the platform, he is watching her, drinking her in. And he calls her and tells her he will be late. And he says that even if he is very late, please, will she wait for him? *dies* And she doesn't realize anything odd is going on and asks him to bring a cake. And then she is about to hang up and he is so desperate for some last contact. He asks her, if she has anything else to say to him, and she is beginning to figure out something is seriously wrong. And she says 'I love you. I love you.' His face. And he hangs up. And as she gets on the train she looks up and sees him and she runs to the closing door, unbuttoning his cross and she throws it on the platform and he picks it up.
Oh.
But on his way, Shimada attacks him and wounds him and Maya (who's been following him) sees it and she hits Shimada with her car killing him.
And OMG. The final doomed act.
YS breaks down, crying over the body, begging him to be alive and as Maya (horrified by his reaction) gets out of the car, he looks up at her, utterly destroyed. Because even if he didn't kill him with his own hands, the man died because of him and so he can never be clean for Hana to be with. That is not something that can be viped out (that is why later he takes the rap for Maya, I believe. He owes her, but also, it's all the same to him).
And he is completely emotionally naked. And he looks up at Maya, sobbing that he can never go back to Hana now and 'do you know how hard it was to leave her?'
Oh.
I bawled.
BAWLED.
He puts her on such an impossible pedestal as the one good thing in his life so of course he can't sully her now. Inside he is still that messed up young boy.
So wearily he eventually collects himself. And he goes with Maya to buy the cake (!!!) all wounded and with police search for him and goes to the reunion. And while there he squares in a judo match with Senpai. And while fighting he begs Senpai to lose to him and to marry Hana. And he whispers to him that 'I can't be with her. I killed a man.' And Senpai, shocked, lets him 'win.'
And YS gets up and picks up watching smiling Hana by the hand and announces in front of everyone that Hana and Senpai should get married.
And Hana will of course have none of it, and stares at him, incomprehending.
And he kneels saying that he is Hana's brother and he loved her but true love is the steady watchful love of Senpai not his.
Oh no.
Nononononono.
I was yelling at the TV at that point. Things like 'she doesn't care, you silly idiot! Take her to a cabin to make babies. That will help the stress.' If he is that intense, he's gotta be really intense in the sack :D And he needs to relax. And if he ever slept with her he will feel it would be dishonorable to leave her. Because however ruined his honor, he is always honorable to her. That is why he doesn't. Also he probably feels he is unworthy of touching her.
And he walks out and Maya is waiting there (you know, I ended up not hating her by the end. She really loved him). And he walks to her, as Hana watches (mind you, Maya made her life a misery and if there is a woman she hates, not that she is capable of hating, it's Maya). And he looks like death. And he whispers 'help me' and he leans in and kisses her on the mouth.
While a tear rolls down his cheek.
And he breaks the kiss and whispers 'Thank you.' And gets into the car with her.
And Hana is screaming 'liar, liar, liar' and runs after the car. Such a mirror of the scene when they were in school (may I take a moment to say how much I hate the Aunt. If she only admitted about the deaths of the parents when she found out, then Hana wouldn't have been afraid to admit her feelings and graduation disaster wouldn't have happened and he wouldn't have ran off to join the mob and they would have been happy together).
And he arranges for a meeting in a club with her and Senpai. Maya's club. And he is there hugging Maya, dancing with Maya. And Hana starts knocking down booze and he has to physically stop her. And then they are dancing, she with Senpai and he with Maya but all they are looking at are each other.
And Senpai (who is a decent bloke. It's not his fault he is caught in this stronger-than-death love affair) offers the last dance with Hana to Yoon-Suh. And they are dancing and she says she won't marry Senpai. And he admits to her he was in the Mob. And that he killed a man.
OMG.
And she faints and the cops are coming for him and he runs.
And the next scene that made me scream? She is at the lodge. And she is 'I don't care if you've killed someone, I love you anyway' and she stays in her old room and OMG OMG he is outside her window.
And she tells him she will wait for him, a year, two, twenty. But he insists she should marry Senpai because it will make her happy and him happy. And that he is turning himself in to the cops (because even though he can't ever be clean enough to stand before her as a lover, at least he wants to be clean enough to be beside her in some capacity, I suppose).
And there is talk of how in 20 years, she will have a daughter who will look like her.
Did I mention I was bawling throughout? Because I was.
And he does the same tracing of her face through the window as they did years before. And he disappears into the dark.
OMG OMG.
And then it's her wedding day. And she is crying and her best friend (who is awesome and adorable. I want to write fic where she hooks up with Senpai who is a wonderful guy and deserves someone). And Senpai made YS promise to come. And the mob knows he will show up for Hana's wedding. So they are waiting there to kill him. I am whimpering at that point.
And he shows up (white shirt btw, yum!) And she is supposed to promise to love forever but she is frozen and then she turns around and sees him there and he is mouthing for her to be happy and she agrees to love Senpai forever because YS is asking it of her. OMG. How screwed up is it? Her biggest gift to him is to agree to his wish for her happiness by marrying another man.
And the look on his face as she says yes? Made me cry. It's like his soul has been sucked away.
And he walks away, walking down the street to the cops. And the assassin stabs him. And at that same moment the ring she was holding drops to the ground.
And even mortally wounded he is still crawling to the cops, because he wants to stand clean before Hana even if it's impossible now.
And meanwhile, Hana drops the ring. And she says 'Sorry, I can't' to Senpai and goes running. Running. After Yoon-Suh. Long gorgeous white wedding dress and veil flying after her.
And she sees him as he is half-crawling half-leaning on a railing. And she sees the Mob car is about to run him over and he is so out of it he is in no shape to get out of the way. And she jumps to pull him away, out of the way, protecting him with her body and they both get hit.
I really love that their love for each other is equal. They are both willing and ready to give up their lives, their peace, their happiness for each other.
And they are lying on the ground, as the mob car drives away and the stunned bystanders are gaping. And there is bright red on their faces, on her white wedding dress and on his white shirt. But even dying, they are staring only at each other. And slowly (you get the sense it takes all their effort) they are reaching their hands to each other.
And they do! And their fingers touch and interlace, and they are lying there, holding on in a death grip.
OH.
Did I mention the unpretty messy crying I was doing?
And they are in the hospital and both dying. (Meanwhile Maya confessed to Shimada's murder but it doesn't really matter for them). Neither of them has a will to live. Hana's heart has been damaged and she needs a donor. And Yoon-Suh is conscious and he has his cellphone. And Senpai goes to see him, begging him to live for Hana's sake because Hana doesn't need anyone but YS. But YS just smiles and OMG OMG OMG OMG.
He died.
HE DIED.
I knew he did even before I started this drama but I bawled. BAWLED.
And I bet he let go on purpose, so Hana would have a donor.
And next we see, Hana gets out at the old inn and she is expecting YS to be there to meet her for her bday (because Senpai and her Best Friend said he'll be there). And they tell her he isn't coming.
And they tell her the truth about her heart.
OMG.
And she breaks down.
And then as she is sitting in the dark room, looking at the sketchbook full of drawings of her, her fall pings.
And it's him.
He recorded it for her!!!!
And he sings that song (awfully badly, as he can barely whisper) and he tells her that now he can always be with her and he won't be cold any more and OMG OMG OMG.
And she collapses on the ground screaming 'Oppa...Oppa..Oppa...Oppa' over and over and over.
WOW.
And in the last scenes, she has both halves of the cross (his and hers) on, and she is scattering his ashes, saying to take care because their love is only beginning. And she walks off back to the lodge, dark figure swallowed by the white of the snow.
Oh WOW.
OH WOW.
This was incredible. Even though I am only watching happy dramas for a while, this was INCREDIBLE.
WOW.
I am actually shaking just thinking about it.
I so desperately want to write AU fic where they both survive and go away and heal each other and are happy. Yes, it turned me back to 15.
Oh.
I have no words.
