Fandom Confessional
Nov. 3rd, 2005 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieDo you ever fall so much in love with something that you become a bit...irrational...about it?
No, I don't mean "tattoo 'Spike' into your forehead or go to work, every day, dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi" irrational, but sort of get an emotional reaction to it that your saner self knows is out of bounds: don't want to share your "precious" with somebody who you think it not "worthy" of appreciating it, or when someone criticizes it, you actually feel hurt?
Because, much as I try to control it, it happens to me. Now, there are fandoms where I am happy and active in, where I stay dispassionate. I adore Battlestar Galactica but it wouldn't bother me to read people stating (as long as they have reasons and spell-check their posts) how and why BSG is a bad bad show, even though I'd disagree with them to the bitter end. If people don't like Bollywood, I shrug and move on. I won't even argue but will amicably agree to disagree.
But for a lot of things, I fall in love. For example, I am very careful with who I recommend The Lymond Chronicles to because the books are such a big part of my mental landscape and are so important to me (my BFF and I still end most of our conversations with a mention of Lymond. The books ate our sophomore year in college). I don't want people to read them and hate them, or worse, be indifferent. My connection to them is entirely too personal.
And the few times I read people dissing Firefly, I get a sense of irrational hurt. I logically comprehend that there are people, people of excellent taste, who just don't like it. But logic has nothing to do with my inner 5 year old throwing a tantrum. Because it makes me feel so much and we are all ultimately solipcicistic. And the same is true with Farscape, especially Crichton's character. I don't think I am able to read posts hating either of the two. I just don't read that because it feels too personal. Which is ridiculous but there it is. And you know, I think with Veronica Mars, I am approaching that level, at least with Logan's character. I think when you end up loving something so much, it's because it strikes some deeply personal chord within you, hits something important. So when other people don't share that feeling, or worse, feel completely the opposite way, it feels as if they are rejecting you, or at least some intrinsic, basic part of you that matters, some world-view or emotion that is necessary to you. It's ridiculous, it's irrational, it's utterly childish, but there it is.
So, am I the only lunatic of that sort?
No, I don't mean "tattoo 'Spike' into your forehead or go to work, every day, dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi" irrational, but sort of get an emotional reaction to it that your saner self knows is out of bounds: don't want to share your "precious" with somebody who you think it not "worthy" of appreciating it, or when someone criticizes it, you actually feel hurt?
Because, much as I try to control it, it happens to me. Now, there are fandoms where I am happy and active in, where I stay dispassionate. I adore Battlestar Galactica but it wouldn't bother me to read people stating (as long as they have reasons and spell-check their posts) how and why BSG is a bad bad show, even though I'd disagree with them to the bitter end. If people don't like Bollywood, I shrug and move on. I won't even argue but will amicably agree to disagree.
But for a lot of things, I fall in love. For example, I am very careful with who I recommend The Lymond Chronicles to because the books are such a big part of my mental landscape and are so important to me (my BFF and I still end most of our conversations with a mention of Lymond. The books ate our sophomore year in college). I don't want people to read them and hate them, or worse, be indifferent. My connection to them is entirely too personal.
And the few times I read people dissing Firefly, I get a sense of irrational hurt. I logically comprehend that there are people, people of excellent taste, who just don't like it. But logic has nothing to do with my inner 5 year old throwing a tantrum. Because it makes me feel so much and we are all ultimately solipcicistic. And the same is true with Farscape, especially Crichton's character. I don't think I am able to read posts hating either of the two. I just don't read that because it feels too personal. Which is ridiculous but there it is. And you know, I think with Veronica Mars, I am approaching that level, at least with Logan's character. I think when you end up loving something so much, it's because it strikes some deeply personal chord within you, hits something important. So when other people don't share that feeling, or worse, feel completely the opposite way, it feels as if they are rejecting you, or at least some intrinsic, basic part of you that matters, some world-view or emotion that is necessary to you. It's ridiculous, it's irrational, it's utterly childish, but there it is.
So, am I the only lunatic of that sort?
