I am Vader (and other musings)
Jun. 6th, 2005 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieYes, in an abstract world, if Padme told him "no, I'd rather die, than for you to destroy everything I love, including yourself" Anakin would listen. But realistically, who WOULD listen to this from someone they love? No one. You would not just turn to the wall and say, "fine, you can die then." Never.
In fact, I just had a most unsettling realization. If I were in Anakin's place, I would do exactly what he did. If I could do ANYTHING to save my husband from dying, I would. Even if I had to kill children. Children I somewhat know versus someone I love more than anything else in the world? I'd hate myself forever, but I'd grit my teeth and do it. Abstract principles could not stand against love. Nor compassion, not even decency. I'd do anything. And that is why I can never hate Anakin. Despise him and pity him? Yes. But it's rather a scary thought to realize that if I were in his place, I would be Ms. Vader. And so would many others I imagine.
I was also thinking about the scene at the end of ROTS, when Padme tells him they should go away. He can't. Yes, he is somewhat drunk on power (Dark Side corrupts of course), but the large chunk is that he simply cannot because he doesn't know the secret to save her from death, the secret he has done all this horror for. He has paid a terrible price to save her, but if he leaves, it would have all been for nothing. Palpatine really knows how to play his cards too well.
Also, I was wondering if his nightmares about Padme (just like his nightmares about his Mother) are in part like echoes of the future. let me explain. He has very developed precognition skills. And the Jedi have the ability to feel pain of other Jedi (see Yoda feeling Anakin's pain on AotC). So what if because he is the Chosen One and so attuned to the Force, the nightmares are really a combination of precognition and feeling pain, and are reflections of the pain he will feel in the future when they die, because the pain is so great.
And of course, the insiduous thing about the fact that he is afraid of the pregnancy is that it's not as if he can do anything different to prevent it: she is already pregnant. And she is on an irreversible time-table. She will deliver in X months no matter what. He cannot put it off (as he could if he e.g. saw her dying in a gunfight. He could keep her somewhere with no guns and give himself more time to figure it out). This is pressure at its worst, and his reaction is pure panic. He just hasn't thought it through. He just wants to get her through this crisis and then he will think (e.g. what would he do? He can't live forever even with Plagueis's art and then he couldn't keep her alive after he is dead). But of course he is not thinking rationally or ahead. He is pure desperate panic.
Of course, he is generally a concrete thinker. He has no patience or mind for zen-like contemplation and abstraction. He needs things explained to him (if the Jedi or Padme gave him some books to read, he would be much better off). He is not in the least stupid, but he is not someone who comes to knowledge through intrinsic comprehension. The whole "wait and it will come to you" does not work for him. He tries to go on the information he has, with disastrous results. If he was taught through verbal/written stuff as opposed to be able to imbibe it by osmosis, he might not have as deep a level of understanding as someone like Obi-Wan, but he would understand enough to not be clueless and dangerous (this goes both re: Sith and politics). If you think about it, Palpatine is the first person who really exlains anything to him re: Sith, Jedi etc. Granted, it's an evil and skewed perspective, but he latches on to it in part because he hasn't been given any alternatives.
In a barely related thought, the Jedi really did him a great disservice when they told him he was the Chosen One. He was simply too young to know. If they told him when he was much older, it would be one thing. But a child? Wrong! And the contrast between being the Chosen One and the way they treat him (somewhat like a misfit freak) would really grate and eat away on someone who has any self esteem and pride, and he does even as a child. Baaaaad.
Part II to come tomorrow.
In fact, I just had a most unsettling realization. If I were in Anakin's place, I would do exactly what he did. If I could do ANYTHING to save my husband from dying, I would. Even if I had to kill children. Children I somewhat know versus someone I love more than anything else in the world? I'd hate myself forever, but I'd grit my teeth and do it. Abstract principles could not stand against love. Nor compassion, not even decency. I'd do anything. And that is why I can never hate Anakin. Despise him and pity him? Yes. But it's rather a scary thought to realize that if I were in his place, I would be Ms. Vader. And so would many others I imagine.
I was also thinking about the scene at the end of ROTS, when Padme tells him they should go away. He can't. Yes, he is somewhat drunk on power (Dark Side corrupts of course), but the large chunk is that he simply cannot because he doesn't know the secret to save her from death, the secret he has done all this horror for. He has paid a terrible price to save her, but if he leaves, it would have all been for nothing. Palpatine really knows how to play his cards too well.
Also, I was wondering if his nightmares about Padme (just like his nightmares about his Mother) are in part like echoes of the future. let me explain. He has very developed precognition skills. And the Jedi have the ability to feel pain of other Jedi (see Yoda feeling Anakin's pain on AotC). So what if because he is the Chosen One and so attuned to the Force, the nightmares are really a combination of precognition and feeling pain, and are reflections of the pain he will feel in the future when they die, because the pain is so great.
And of course, the insiduous thing about the fact that he is afraid of the pregnancy is that it's not as if he can do anything different to prevent it: she is already pregnant. And she is on an irreversible time-table. She will deliver in X months no matter what. He cannot put it off (as he could if he e.g. saw her dying in a gunfight. He could keep her somewhere with no guns and give himself more time to figure it out). This is pressure at its worst, and his reaction is pure panic. He just hasn't thought it through. He just wants to get her through this crisis and then he will think (e.g. what would he do? He can't live forever even with Plagueis's art and then he couldn't keep her alive after he is dead). But of course he is not thinking rationally or ahead. He is pure desperate panic.
Of course, he is generally a concrete thinker. He has no patience or mind for zen-like contemplation and abstraction. He needs things explained to him (if the Jedi or Padme gave him some books to read, he would be much better off). He is not in the least stupid, but he is not someone who comes to knowledge through intrinsic comprehension. The whole "wait and it will come to you" does not work for him. He tries to go on the information he has, with disastrous results. If he was taught through verbal/written stuff as opposed to be able to imbibe it by osmosis, he might not have as deep a level of understanding as someone like Obi-Wan, but he would understand enough to not be clueless and dangerous (this goes both re: Sith and politics). If you think about it, Palpatine is the first person who really exlains anything to him re: Sith, Jedi etc. Granted, it's an evil and skewed perspective, but he latches on to it in part because he hasn't been given any alternatives.
In a barely related thought, the Jedi really did him a great disservice when they told him he was the Chosen One. He was simply too young to know. If they told him when he was much older, it would be one thing. But a child? Wrong! And the contrast between being the Chosen One and the way they treat him (somewhat like a misfit freak) would really grate and eat away on someone who has any self esteem and pride, and he does even as a child. Baaaaad.
Part II to come tomorrow.
