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dangermousieFinally got my replacement DVDs of Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake (go a few weeks back and you'll see me rant and rave about the wonderfulness of this). Remember? Teenage girl with AIDS and a haunted young composer falling for each other?
Well, ten and a half episodes in, I have officially decided that this is my favorite jdorama ever, having eclipsed such worthy candidates as Majo No Jouken and Kurosagi. But maybe Tatta Hitotsu No Koi will give it a run for its money. We'll see.
Watching KMSD and being interrupted by trick or treaters while trying not to bawl is an interesting experience. I so need icons of this dorama.
Most of it is going to be under cut because of spoileriness, but I have to note that I want to kiss the costume designer for KMSD. I love every single outfit, both male and female. And the whole dark pants-white shirt combo they have Keigo wearing? Genius.
You know how I said in each ep they manage to make Takeshi Kaneshiro (aka Keigo) even more unbearably appealing? In ep 9 we have him speaking English, threatening legal action against people who want to discriminate against Masaki. Phew...HOT. And he asks Masaki's father for permission to take her with him to USA.
But Masaki feels bad for leaving her family so she cryingly tells him she can't go. And he *gasp swoon* tells her he will wait for her until 3pm at the airport.
And then, in a scene that made me yell unprintables at the screen, Masaki does show up and meets Kaoru (Keigo's singer who is in love with him) instead who went ahead with express intention of breaking them up. And Kaoru tells Masaki Keigo left because he was told hs career would be finished if he was with her but felt bad and couldn't face her. And she gives Masaki Keigo's chain as proof (they bought each other necklace type things with each other's initials and his fell off and she scooped it up). And Masaki's heart breaks and she leaves. And in a scene that made me scream, she goes down the escalator as Keigo is coming up, heart in his throat, hoping she'd come, and they don't see each other. And you see her collapse by the side of the road, crying. And you see Keigo waiting, freaking out (it must be unbearable for him, the constant expectation and disappointment), running hands through hair etc. And then the time is up and he gets up and he is still desperately looking around and he finally can't wait any longer and walks towards the gate, with the walk of someone who's aged twenty years.
I HATE KAORU. EVIL. BITCH.
And then we flash to three years in the future. Keigo has apparently been successful and made a come-back. And Masaki graduated and is in college looking for a job. And he is back for a tour in Japan.
The thing is, in a way, the three year separation was a good thing. She matured, grew strong, and developed outside her love for him. She is much more his equal now. She's found her footing and her equilibrium. And he? He's had a chance to fully realize how much he loves her. They still have their uncontrollable love for each other after three years of absence, despite thinking the other person didn't care. And that really proves it's real.
I love when Keigo tells Kaoru that he thought about Masaki every day and he realized she didn't need him, instead he needed her. I love that. Of course, he finds out about Kaoru's ploy from Masaki's male friend (whom I love, btw) and he falls apart. Just watch the look on his face when he learns it. But he thinks Masaki is getting married so he walks away.
But you know, they can never stay away from each other. Because he sees her on the street from the window and despite any rational 'she's got over me' feelings, he freezes for a second and then runs outside, looking for her. OMG. They have him running in every ep and I love the director of this.
And he sees her. And they freeze. And then OMG OMG OMG his eyes go to her neck and he sees she is still wearing the necklace with 'K' on it. I am so impressed that they loved each other even with no hope. And they talk, and they don't start out being too personal but their chemistry is insane. And then he can't help it and he mentions her marriage and finds out she isn't getting married and he can't control himself and tells her the airport thing was a misunderstanding and she falls apart. And she tells him it's too late, and she's sobbing, and tells him 'do you know how much I cried?' And the look on his face.
And they part but he can't get over her and he tells Kaoru that he wants Masaki and he isn't going to give up. OMG OMG. And meanwhile she's been fired because they found out about her being an HIV patient.
And her career was the only normal thing left to her (she thought), the only way left to validate her life: as she told Keigo earlier, it's not as if she can marry or have children. And now even that is being taken away from her.
And they both end up on that bridge that is so important to them. And he sees her frozen on the bridge and he runs to her and she just collapses in is arms and tells him she's been fired. OMG. They automatically go back to their closeness, they can't help it. Somehow, she just opens up to him the way she doesn't to anyone else. And she holds him and slowly his arms go around her and I am sobbing.
And she tells him she wanted to live at least somewhat normally, not be marked by her disease (and I think that plays into his later decision but about that later).
And they go to his apartment and he makes her 'a sandwich of happiness' which, as he explains, is very spicy and full of mustard so when you eat it and cry, you don't know if you are crying because you are miserable or because it's spicy. And he is looking up at her and smiling and I die.
And she asks him if he's eaten it in US and he says 'often.' When people wouldn't come to his concerts, when he had to bow down to people he despised and then adds, with no flourish, and every day, most of all, because you weren't by my side.
GOD.
HOLD THE SOBBY MESS THAT IS ME PLEASE.
And she tells him she thought of him every day she saw the thingy in her soup (ref to earlier ep where he ate something from her plate and made her feel like a human being).
And he is kneeling by her chair and he asks her to go to US with him, and he is pleading, and tells her that he knows she has her dreams but can she please fulfill them in US by his side. And she can't believe it but then agrees.
And then she gets up to leave and kisses him good-bye but their crazy chemistry and longing and loneliness and desire flare up and soon they are kissing like they've been starving for it (this dorama has amazing kisses). And she tells him she has no protection and he OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG tells her it doesn't matter and keeps on kissing her because he wants to share everything with her and be with her truly. And he overrules her protesting.
And a rational sane part of me is going 'Oh My God, what are you doing? Are you insane? You want to risk catching HIV?' But the remaining 99% of me is crying so loud that it's a good thing the walls are thick or I'd freak out the neighbors.
And it so makes sense. Not only does he want to give her normalcy, make her feel like a normal woman, he wants to 'really' be with her, for himself, and to him it's worth any risk.
And then it cuts to them in bed afterwards, and he is holding her, and they are radiant.
Oh. My. Holy. Lord.
And then it's the morning after and I love how he wakes up, looking so content and he has a moment of momentary panic because she isn't in bed by him but then he sees her looking out of the window, looking so happy, and his whole face melts.
I find it so interesting how this time he doesn't even go check whether he has HIV or not, it's not important (after their first encounter, he freaked (though not to her) and checked). Only she is important.
And then he basically meets with her father and asks for her hand in marriage (or as good as) and I die a bit more. And father tells him that despite healthy appearances, Masaki is actually very sick and could develop AIDS at any time (and why is it so much sooner for her? Because some of it is related to stress and being left 3 years ago caused it. I hate Kaoru).
So Keigo calls Masaki and tells her he wants to see her tomorrow instead of later (I love how he doesn't waiver in his love at all). And he buys a ring. But as they stare at each other from across the road, she crumples to the ground.
Oh no.
They were happ for about ten minutes. ARGH.
And the LOOK on his face. And he runs across the road completely heedless of the cars. And she is in the hospital and she's developed AIDS and he is praying that God can take him instead, but please don't take her away so soon (which is where the title comes from).
And he is with her in her hospital room and she wakes up screaming, crying his name (I love how for her he is her savior automatically) and begging for the lights to be turned on, and he is instantly holding her, and soothing her and turning on the lights and she tells him it's because she woke up and it was pitch black and she thought she died already and I AM BAWLING.
And the thing that kills me? It must be a nightmare for him because not only is he watching the woman he love suffer and be unable to help it but it must bring back the memories of his dead gf and he has to go through this TWICE and I can't even imagine what it would feel like.
And the thing is, he is a nice, quiet, sweet guy. EEEEE. Unfair. I want a frelling happy ending.
Well, ten and a half episodes in, I have officially decided that this is my favorite jdorama ever, having eclipsed such worthy candidates as Majo No Jouken and Kurosagi. But maybe Tatta Hitotsu No Koi will give it a run for its money. We'll see.
Watching KMSD and being interrupted by trick or treaters while trying not to bawl is an interesting experience. I so need icons of this dorama.
Most of it is going to be under cut because of spoileriness, but I have to note that I want to kiss the costume designer for KMSD. I love every single outfit, both male and female. And the whole dark pants-white shirt combo they have Keigo wearing? Genius.
You know how I said in each ep they manage to make Takeshi Kaneshiro (aka Keigo) even more unbearably appealing? In ep 9 we have him speaking English, threatening legal action against people who want to discriminate against Masaki. Phew...HOT. And he asks Masaki's father for permission to take her with him to USA.
But Masaki feels bad for leaving her family so she cryingly tells him she can't go. And he *gasp swoon* tells her he will wait for her until 3pm at the airport.
And then, in a scene that made me yell unprintables at the screen, Masaki does show up and meets Kaoru (Keigo's singer who is in love with him) instead who went ahead with express intention of breaking them up. And Kaoru tells Masaki Keigo left because he was told hs career would be finished if he was with her but felt bad and couldn't face her. And she gives Masaki Keigo's chain as proof (they bought each other necklace type things with each other's initials and his fell off and she scooped it up). And Masaki's heart breaks and she leaves. And in a scene that made me scream, she goes down the escalator as Keigo is coming up, heart in his throat, hoping she'd come, and they don't see each other. And you see her collapse by the side of the road, crying. And you see Keigo waiting, freaking out (it must be unbearable for him, the constant expectation and disappointment), running hands through hair etc. And then the time is up and he gets up and he is still desperately looking around and he finally can't wait any longer and walks towards the gate, with the walk of someone who's aged twenty years.
I HATE KAORU. EVIL. BITCH.
And then we flash to three years in the future. Keigo has apparently been successful and made a come-back. And Masaki graduated and is in college looking for a job. And he is back for a tour in Japan.
The thing is, in a way, the three year separation was a good thing. She matured, grew strong, and developed outside her love for him. She is much more his equal now. She's found her footing and her equilibrium. And he? He's had a chance to fully realize how much he loves her. They still have their uncontrollable love for each other after three years of absence, despite thinking the other person didn't care. And that really proves it's real.
I love when Keigo tells Kaoru that he thought about Masaki every day and he realized she didn't need him, instead he needed her. I love that. Of course, he finds out about Kaoru's ploy from Masaki's male friend (whom I love, btw) and he falls apart. Just watch the look on his face when he learns it. But he thinks Masaki is getting married so he walks away.
But you know, they can never stay away from each other. Because he sees her on the street from the window and despite any rational 'she's got over me' feelings, he freezes for a second and then runs outside, looking for her. OMG. They have him running in every ep and I love the director of this.
And he sees her. And they freeze. And then OMG OMG OMG his eyes go to her neck and he sees she is still wearing the necklace with 'K' on it. I am so impressed that they loved each other even with no hope. And they talk, and they don't start out being too personal but their chemistry is insane. And then he can't help it and he mentions her marriage and finds out she isn't getting married and he can't control himself and tells her the airport thing was a misunderstanding and she falls apart. And she tells him it's too late, and she's sobbing, and tells him 'do you know how much I cried?' And the look on his face.
And they part but he can't get over her and he tells Kaoru that he wants Masaki and he isn't going to give up. OMG OMG. And meanwhile she's been fired because they found out about her being an HIV patient.
And her career was the only normal thing left to her (she thought), the only way left to validate her life: as she told Keigo earlier, it's not as if she can marry or have children. And now even that is being taken away from her.
And they both end up on that bridge that is so important to them. And he sees her frozen on the bridge and he runs to her and she just collapses in is arms and tells him she's been fired. OMG. They automatically go back to their closeness, they can't help it. Somehow, she just opens up to him the way she doesn't to anyone else. And she holds him and slowly his arms go around her and I am sobbing.
And she tells him she wanted to live at least somewhat normally, not be marked by her disease (and I think that plays into his later decision but about that later).
And they go to his apartment and he makes her 'a sandwich of happiness' which, as he explains, is very spicy and full of mustard so when you eat it and cry, you don't know if you are crying because you are miserable or because it's spicy. And he is looking up at her and smiling and I die.
And she asks him if he's eaten it in US and he says 'often.' When people wouldn't come to his concerts, when he had to bow down to people he despised and then adds, with no flourish, and every day, most of all, because you weren't by my side.
GOD.
HOLD THE SOBBY MESS THAT IS ME PLEASE.
And she tells him she thought of him every day she saw the thingy in her soup (ref to earlier ep where he ate something from her plate and made her feel like a human being).
And he is kneeling by her chair and he asks her to go to US with him, and he is pleading, and tells her that he knows she has her dreams but can she please fulfill them in US by his side. And she can't believe it but then agrees.
And then she gets up to leave and kisses him good-bye but their crazy chemistry and longing and loneliness and desire flare up and soon they are kissing like they've been starving for it (this dorama has amazing kisses). And she tells him she has no protection and he OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG tells her it doesn't matter and keeps on kissing her because he wants to share everything with her and be with her truly. And he overrules her protesting.
And a rational sane part of me is going 'Oh My God, what are you doing? Are you insane? You want to risk catching HIV?' But the remaining 99% of me is crying so loud that it's a good thing the walls are thick or I'd freak out the neighbors.
And it so makes sense. Not only does he want to give her normalcy, make her feel like a normal woman, he wants to 'really' be with her, for himself, and to him it's worth any risk.
And then it cuts to them in bed afterwards, and he is holding her, and they are radiant.
Oh. My. Holy. Lord.
And then it's the morning after and I love how he wakes up, looking so content and he has a moment of momentary panic because she isn't in bed by him but then he sees her looking out of the window, looking so happy, and his whole face melts.
I find it so interesting how this time he doesn't even go check whether he has HIV or not, it's not important (after their first encounter, he freaked (though not to her) and checked). Only she is important.
And then he basically meets with her father and asks for her hand in marriage (or as good as) and I die a bit more. And father tells him that despite healthy appearances, Masaki is actually very sick and could develop AIDS at any time (and why is it so much sooner for her? Because some of it is related to stress and being left 3 years ago caused it. I hate Kaoru).
So Keigo calls Masaki and tells her he wants to see her tomorrow instead of later (I love how he doesn't waiver in his love at all). And he buys a ring. But as they stare at each other from across the road, she crumples to the ground.
Oh no.
They were happ for about ten minutes. ARGH.
And the LOOK on his face. And he runs across the road completely heedless of the cars. And she is in the hospital and she's developed AIDS and he is praying that God can take him instead, but please don't take her away so soon (which is where the title comes from).
And he is with her in her hospital room and she wakes up screaming, crying his name (I love how for her he is her savior automatically) and begging for the lights to be turned on, and he is instantly holding her, and soothing her and turning on the lights and she tells him it's because she woke up and it was pitch black and she thought she died already and I AM BAWLING.
And the thing that kills me? It must be a nightmare for him because not only is he watching the woman he love suffer and be unable to help it but it must bring back the memories of his dead gf and he has to go through this TWICE and I can't even imagine what it would feel like.
And the thing is, he is a nice, quiet, sweet guy. EEEEE. Unfair. I want a frelling happy ending.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 03:28 am (UTC)But oh god, the ending. KMSD's ending, oh god.
*braces self for your reaction to the finale*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 07:52 pm (UTC)But I think Silence is currently addicting me so much that all these others will have to wait (just finished watching the fifth episode, and the previews for the next ep are making me continue immediately with the next one...)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 09:22 pm (UTC)Still, here's an angsty Kurosagi icon to tempt you further...
no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 12:35 pm (UTC)I totally melted during that scene. Probably my fave out of the whole episodes. And btw. I saw a Takeshi mag interview in a book store in Nagoya today - eeeeee I so wanted to buy it but since I don't read Japanese I decided to leave it. And Kame (??) whose been talked about so often by the dorama chatters ~ well he is SO everywhere!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 06:15 pm (UTC)Ooooh, Kame pics everywhere. When I was in Japan I still didn't really know who he was and missed a fine opportunity to ogle posters :P