Father of the Han, I kinda want to do you! Enough to watch history get murdered, maybe.

[dangermousie]

So, I've been perusing the stills of the upcoming Beauties of the Emperor and my thoughts could be summed up as follows:

1. Really gorgeous outfits.
2. I cannot tell the female leads apart at all. Like, I literally have no idea whether in any given still, Ming Dao is with Empress Liu or Consort Yu. That's going to be problematic if I watch the drama.
3. The thought of Xiang Yu and Empress Liu being an OTP in this version makes me want to roll on the floor howling. The equivalent would kinda be Wellington and Empress Josephine getting it on. Do not want. Breaks my brain. Trust Yu Zheng to break up a legendary historical OTP for some complete insanity (WHERE IS MY XIANG YU/CONSORT YU, DAMMIT! WHY ARE YOU BEING REPLACED BY SOME SORT OF ANCIENT TAKE ON IDOL TWDRAMA, WTF!!!!!)
4. Ugh.
5. And yet I still may check it out because HALLO THERE SEXAY SEXAY LIU BANG!!!! I am going to be rooting for ya in this civil war, baby! Never thought Liu "lemme throw my kids out of my carriage so I can run away faster" Bang would be so hot.



OK, let's start with this. Is this woman Joe Chen, aka Liu Zhi or the other actress, aka Consort Yu? Seeing that the lady appears to be dead and Liu Zhi lived to a ripe old age, unlike unfortunate Concubine Yu, I am inclined to guess the latter but who knows - I wouldn't put it past Yu Zheng to have Liu Zhi keel over and get reincarnated as a zombie. Historical accuracy is not his strongest point.



Hallo, there, sexy future Empy!



I don't even know.




Oh my God, I think I went blind. Or maybe am hoping to. Great conqueror Xiang Yu and infamous empress Liu Zhi are apparently under the delusion they are re-enacting Prince Turns Frog 2. I am going to be ill.



Honey, if you marry me, I promise not to poison your relatives or chop off limbs from other concubines. Honest!



I don't know if he's worn me down or something but I am finding Ming Dao almost attractive here.



Once again, no idea which one this is, the homicidal one or the suicidal one.



Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Liu Bang. I cannot believe I just typed that.





"Dear Potential Date, my name is Xiang Yu and my hobbies include horse-riding, wine-drinking, and standing on the pile of corpses of my enemies. xoxoxo"



At least the outfits are pretty.



I could go for some slash! Make love, not war!



Let's just admire the costumes. I can concentrate on that.










Most inefficient suicide ever?



If this is Liu Zhi, for a legendarily smart, tough, and evil woman, she gets fainty a lot.




Oh God, the hair!




I think this is Liu Zhi.




Just keep chanting 'Liu Bang is hot Liu Bang is hot' and get through this.











I think I am gonna need that upcoming Feng Xiao Feng/Crystal Liu movie as Xiang Yu/Consort Yu to scrub my brain with after this.

I am not one of Yu Zheng's antifans (loved JPLH, liked Red Rouge and Four Women, thought Schemes of Beauty was OK) but this...good Lord! Yikes. Liu Bang better run around naked for half the story, is all I am saying.