I bet flappers used to swoon over this!
Feb. 22nd, 2010 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieBwahahaha! I am reading Louise Gerard's infamous Son of the Sahara, a torrid 1920s romance novel.
Our hero a desert sheikh* (but who goes by a French name and pretends to be French when he travels) out for revenge against a British officer who has killed his father, has just met our heroine, who happens to be the officer's daughter. And it is loltastic and awesome.
First she saves his life when he is drowning by towing him to safety bodily.
Then he mistakes her for a boy.
Then she invites him up to her room at night and dresses up as a girl (as she is) instead to shock him.
Then he makes bossy comments about how she should not keep her hair short and she snarks back at him without any shyness (sample):
'Do you always do as you like?' he asked.
'Always. It is an excellent habit to cultivate, and one you've cultivated to the fullest by the look of you, since criticism is the order of the day,' she replied.
Did I mention her name is Pansy? LOL.
I bet he is going to make her fall for him, kidnap her to his eeeeeeeeevil harem, and then fall madly for her instead and aaaaangst as (a) this book has been dropping anvil hints about how he doesn't view women as worthy of anything more than fun boinking and there is all this talk about his ex wishing him to suffer painfully in agony of love for someone who doesn't want him so he'd know how nice that feels and (b) I've read 1920s romance novels.
Actually, shockingly, I rather adore the heroine so far - she's smart, sharp-witted and sharp-tongued, and a great deal of fun. And *gasp* I even like the hero so far (with a 1920s novel of that sort, I am sure it will change at some point - it's even money as to whether there will be a rape scene in this one). I enjoy their bantering and they view each other as equals and he's totally fallen for her already. Of course...he doesn't yet know whose daughter she is...ooooooh.
* In keeping with conventions of 1920s romance novels like that, he's not really an Arab, of course. It would be horrible to let a non-European man sully a white woman! *gasp* When his French mama was kidnapped by the evil sheikh who was his father, she was already preggers with her French husband's child. A fact nobody but the reader knows.
ETA: Oh, the symbolism, you slay me! For Pansy owns this super-powerful stallion (harharhar) which was a former race-horse and who doesn't like anybody but her and whom she rescued and took in even though he mauled her badly because she saw that it wasn't the horse's fault but the fault of his abusive surroundings. And now the horse is totally her slave. Ahahahahaha. Louise Gerard, you aren't even being subtle, are you? Oh, I could make so many riding jokes!
ETA2: If you want to read the book on-line, it is here. Just scroll up to the beginning.
ETA3: Wow, color me shocked, I flipped through the book and there doesn't seem to be any raping! What is the world coming to when a 1920s sheikh novel doesn't have any? :P (I kid, I kid, I am rather relieved. Phew). There's still kidnapping and keeping in harems (and rescuing from a pack of hyenas, huh?) but that's all fine.
ETA4: Bwah! He's fallen for her madly and he still doesn't know who she is. This will be enjoyable. Plus, he's just pulled a Domyouji and waited for her for three hours and then she finally showed up and there was making out and his begging her to marry him asap all super-desperate and it's all rather..gasp...adorable.
ETA5: Score one for the ladies! After all the making out she was all 'fine, fine, I'll marry you in a month' but now in the morning she is all 'that was silly. I love him but my freedom is more awesome' and writes him a note to that effect, basically dumping him. Ahahaha. And he was going to convert to Christianity for her sake and pretend to be French because she was afraid she'd freak about his 'true nature'. Bwahahahahahaha serves you right. And now he's all desperate and begging and it's all verrrrrry sexy.
ETA6: *gasp choke* When she repeats to his face she doesn't want to marry him because she wants freedom, "Give me the nights, Pansy," he whispered, "and the days I'll leave to you. Oh Miss Gerard, does your Mom know what kind of things you put in your books? For shame! :)
ETA7: Ahahahahaha, he discovered the truth and now he knows he should hate her but he can't because he still luuuuurves her and there is angst. That's going to put a wrench into his whole 'I shall kidnap my enemy and his daughter and sell them into slavery' vengeance plans. LOL
ETA8: "Love had leaped out of its scabbard of hate." You have not seen purple prose until you read this book. And now he believes she is dead because of him and is in aaaaaaagony. *slurps*
ETA9: She is horribly wounded (because she asked an officer to shoot her before marauders who were acting on hero's orders (though she did not know it) took her alive and he is all tortured and horribly guilty and nursing her. I am so enjoying the cheesefest.
ETA10: "Raoul," she siad faintly.
It was more a sigh than a word. But his name whispered so feebly brought him kneeling beside her couch, bending over her eagerly.
"My darling, forgive me," he whispered passionately.
He bent his head still lower, with infinite tenderness kissing the white lips that had breathed his name so faintly.
Pansy's eyes closed again. A look of contentment came to mingle with the suffering on her face.
That is hurt/comfort pr0n, seriously!
Also, how are those plans to sell her into slavery as revenge upon her Daddy going? They seem to have been strangely...shelved. Ha.
Though a word to the wise - your new plan of 'she is going to love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whoooooo!' might meet with a slight hitch once you do the whole 'I am going to sell your father, my sworn enemy, as a slave.' I am getting the feeling she is going to be pissed no matter how hot you are. Trust me. Women are weird that way.
Did I mention how irritating it is that her father is all 'yesss, my daughter got shot, and now she is dead and not in some Arab's hands.' WHUT? I know outdated honor notions and all that but seriously - she'd be way better off even as some random dude's slave (let alone Sultan's adored n.1 wifey) than dead! That way she can eventually escape or whatever. Stop being so Victorian, old dude.
ETA11:Honestly, don't you think selling her at a market (even if it's fake-selling, to piss off her father) is going to make her hate you even more? Seriously. Brain. Find it. Ok, ok, you aren't too dumb, hero - you ride in on your big horse under your European name and 'rescue' her so she'll love you even more. LOL, this book is ridiculously delicious.
ETA12: She finds out the truth! And tells him she hates him and hits him hard enough to draw blood. Yay! And there is still no raping. I can't believe there is a 1920s romance hero who actually figured out that raping girl you love is a bad thing as it will mean she'll hate you for good. I am shocked, shocked, shocked.
ETA13: Finished. If I was going to hear about the awesomeness of 'white ways' one more time - !!! Also, the government being all 'ah, OK, we won't hang you because you are actually white.' Don't get me started. But at least hero and heroine can make out all day now.
Our hero a desert sheikh* (but who goes by a French name and pretends to be French when he travels) out for revenge against a British officer who has killed his father, has just met our heroine, who happens to be the officer's daughter. And it is loltastic and awesome.
First she saves his life when he is drowning by towing him to safety bodily.
Then he mistakes her for a boy.
Then she invites him up to her room at night and dresses up as a girl (as she is) instead to shock him.
Then he makes bossy comments about how she should not keep her hair short and she snarks back at him without any shyness (sample):
'Do you always do as you like?' he asked.
'Always. It is an excellent habit to cultivate, and one you've cultivated to the fullest by the look of you, since criticism is the order of the day,' she replied.
Did I mention her name is Pansy? LOL.
I bet he is going to make her fall for him, kidnap her to his eeeeeeeeevil harem, and then fall madly for her instead and aaaaangst as (a) this book has been dropping anvil hints about how he doesn't view women as worthy of anything more than fun boinking and there is all this talk about his ex wishing him to suffer painfully in agony of love for someone who doesn't want him so he'd know how nice that feels and (b) I've read 1920s romance novels.
Actually, shockingly, I rather adore the heroine so far - she's smart, sharp-witted and sharp-tongued, and a great deal of fun. And *gasp* I even like the hero so far (with a 1920s novel of that sort, I am sure it will change at some point - it's even money as to whether there will be a rape scene in this one). I enjoy their bantering and they view each other as equals and he's totally fallen for her already. Of course...he doesn't yet know whose daughter she is...ooooooh.
* In keeping with conventions of 1920s romance novels like that, he's not really an Arab, of course. It would be horrible to let a non-European man sully a white woman! *gasp* When his French mama was kidnapped by the evil sheikh who was his father, she was already preggers with her French husband's child. A fact nobody but the reader knows.
ETA: Oh, the symbolism, you slay me! For Pansy owns this super-powerful stallion (harharhar) which was a former race-horse and who doesn't like anybody but her and whom she rescued and took in even though he mauled her badly because she saw that it wasn't the horse's fault but the fault of his abusive surroundings. And now the horse is totally her slave. Ahahahahaha. Louise Gerard, you aren't even being subtle, are you? Oh, I could make so many riding jokes!
ETA2: If you want to read the book on-line, it is here. Just scroll up to the beginning.
ETA3: Wow, color me shocked, I flipped through the book and there doesn't seem to be any raping! What is the world coming to when a 1920s sheikh novel doesn't have any? :P (I kid, I kid, I am rather relieved. Phew). There's still kidnapping and keeping in harems (and rescuing from a pack of hyenas, huh?) but that's all fine.
ETA4: Bwah! He's fallen for her madly and he still doesn't know who she is. This will be enjoyable. Plus, he's just pulled a Domyouji and waited for her for three hours and then she finally showed up and there was making out and his begging her to marry him asap all super-desperate and it's all rather..gasp...adorable.
ETA5: Score one for the ladies! After all the making out she was all 'fine, fine, I'll marry you in a month' but now in the morning she is all 'that was silly. I love him but my freedom is more awesome' and writes him a note to that effect, basically dumping him. Ahahaha. And he was going to convert to Christianity for her sake and pretend to be French because she was afraid she'd freak about his 'true nature'. Bwahahahahahaha serves you right. And now he's all desperate and begging and it's all verrrrrry sexy.
ETA6: *gasp choke* When she repeats to his face she doesn't want to marry him because she wants freedom, "Give me the nights, Pansy," he whispered, "and the days I'll leave to you. Oh Miss Gerard, does your Mom know what kind of things you put in your books? For shame! :)
ETA7: Ahahahahaha, he discovered the truth and now he knows he should hate her but he can't because he still luuuuurves her and there is angst. That's going to put a wrench into his whole 'I shall kidnap my enemy and his daughter and sell them into slavery' vengeance plans. LOL
ETA8: "Love had leaped out of its scabbard of hate." You have not seen purple prose until you read this book. And now he believes she is dead because of him and is in aaaaaaagony. *slurps*
ETA9: She is horribly wounded (because she asked an officer to shoot her before marauders who were acting on hero's orders (though she did not know it) took her alive and he is all tortured and horribly guilty and nursing her. I am so enjoying the cheesefest.
ETA10: "Raoul," she siad faintly.
It was more a sigh than a word. But his name whispered so feebly brought him kneeling beside her couch, bending over her eagerly.
"My darling, forgive me," he whispered passionately.
He bent his head still lower, with infinite tenderness kissing the white lips that had breathed his name so faintly.
Pansy's eyes closed again. A look of contentment came to mingle with the suffering on her face.
That is hurt/comfort pr0n, seriously!
Also, how are those plans to sell her into slavery as revenge upon her Daddy going? They seem to have been strangely...shelved. Ha.
Though a word to the wise - your new plan of 'she is going to love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whoooooo!' might meet with a slight hitch once you do the whole 'I am going to sell your father, my sworn enemy, as a slave.' I am getting the feeling she is going to be pissed no matter how hot you are. Trust me. Women are weird that way.
Did I mention how irritating it is that her father is all 'yesss, my daughter got shot, and now she is dead and not in some Arab's hands.' WHUT? I know outdated honor notions and all that but seriously - she'd be way better off even as some random dude's slave (let alone Sultan's adored n.1 wifey) than dead! That way she can eventually escape or whatever. Stop being so Victorian, old dude.
ETA11:
ETA12: She finds out the truth! And tells him she hates him and hits him hard enough to draw blood. Yay! And there is still no raping. I can't believe there is a 1920s romance hero who actually figured out that raping girl you love is a bad thing as it will mean she'll hate you for good. I am shocked, shocked, shocked.
ETA13: Finished. If I was going to hear about the awesomeness of 'white ways' one more time - !!! Also, the government being all 'ah, OK, we won't hang you because you are actually white.' Don't get me started. But at least hero and heroine can make out all day now.
