Poor Sammy...

[dangermousie]

Just because a lot of my Supernatural posts seem to center on the fact that Dean is a woobie, doesn't mean that Sam's life doesn't suck. So, let's take a moment to peruse Sam's life so far. Because it definitely sucks.

His mother got immolated on the ceiling above him when he was a baby, and that was the end of it. He grows up with not much of a childhood (still, better than Dean's but...), dragged from one seedy motel to the next, basically a latchkey kid, with his father leaving him in his older brother's care, no stable family life, no roots, no normalcy. As father-son bonding time he gets gun training and probably ends up doing pretty dangerous things by the time his age barely hits double digits (if Dean's experience is anything to go by). Any time he wants to do anything semi-normal, like play soccer, it means a huge family row with Daddy Dearest.

When he states he wants to go to college (surely, a normal enough wish, and it's not like he is asking Dad to pay for it), it brings on row of rows, and his father tells him to never come back.

He goes to college and despite his FUBAR upbringing, because of the sheer niceness of his personality, manages to have a nice normal life with friends and a cool girl he falls in love with. And hey, even law school.

Well, enjoy those four nice years Sam, because it looks like those are the only ones you'll get. Because when Sam returns from a trip with his brother, to find his girlfriend Jess imitating his mother, flambeed on the ceiling, her blood dripping on his face. And bye-bye any hope of normalcy. Now he is driven by revenge and guilt and loss (when I found out that he was going to propose to Jess and was shopping for rings, for some reason it just felt worse than before: sort of he ha a nice life he wanted and was within reach of and then...) He is not going to law school, heck, he didn't even get to finish college, and that is a kid who wanted to learn so badly, who seems to be quite bright (he always has his nose in a book, and if he went to college without family help, he must have gotten some scholarships or such).

He is on a never-ending road trip with a brother he loves but is only now getting to know and whose personality is very different. He begins having visions and developing freaky powers. He almost gets killed repeatedly and watches his brother almost get killed. He can't get close to any woman, because he is justifiably afraid that they will be harmed. And he learns that his Mom's and Jess' deaths are his fault, they are dead because the demon who killed them wanted nothing between himself and Sam (I do love how earlier Dean tries to convince Sam it's not his fault). Hello, can you say ISSUES? He felt guilty even before he knew that.

So, yeah, sucks to be Sam.

Comments

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

I think one of the saddest things about Sam is the very thing he desperately wants is the very thing he's never going to really be able to have now. I have a hard time seeing Sam being able to really settle down to a normal life any more. His emotional scars, while not quite as debilitating as Dean's, aren't going to allow him any peace.

It's funny really, since Dean is the more screwed up, yet I can see him being quite happy if he eventually found himself a little female hunter to "settle down" with. Sam on the other hand, being of a more obsessive nature, can't let it go. Dean can. He's proved that when he admits that family is more important than fighting evil. Sam doesn't have the gentle spirit of Dean though. He's tougher, more like Dad (who was a Marine, if that says anything). While Dean translates his losses into sorrow, Sam translates his into anger, which seems to be a whole lot harder to dissipate.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

That's true. Sam needs to let go of his anger in order to move on, but I am not sure he can. He is very driven. Even after they kill the demon, will the guilt allow him normalcy? I guess it's possible that without further stimuli he can get back to more normal, but I am not sure how well that would 'take'

[mimesh.livejournal.com]

I have been so busy lately that I haven't had the time to read all your Supernatural post but I can totally understand your enthusiasm. A few weeks ago I discovered it for myself and and watched the whole season within a week.
I'm already looking forward to catching up on your posts. :)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Isn't the show totally angsty and hot and good?

[podgie.livejournal.com]

I like that there's a reason that Sam's mother and Jess died, and that they're not just dying because Sam's life sucks. He's part of something bigger, that's why the demon killed anybody that got in the way of that (or any woman, as it seems)

Meh. Really really really good looks, intelligence, good personality.. can't be blessed with everything. :P

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

can't be blessed with everything. :P

Heh. I guess he better learn to like phone sex because he ain't getting close to anyone else again any time soon.

I do feel quite bad for Sam. That's a horrible load of guilt to live with.

[podgie.livejournal.com]

*nods* I hope they don't do one of those things where he becomes evil soon and then it's Dean hunting and Sam turned evil and demon-y against Dean. Well actually, I'd sorta like that. Hmm.

Heh. I guess he better learn to like phone sex because he ain't getting close to anyone else again any time soon.

Oh yes, I forgot you were a wincest-hater. :P

ahaha 'ZOMGZIE HE CAN HAVE PHONE SEKS WITH MEEEE!!!! ^__^' *cringes at self's mockings*

I hope the girl from 'Provenance' comes back at some point. I liked her.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I liked the girl in provenance.

I don't see Wincest, sorry. I find it deeply disturbing actually and I think they would have to be beyond fucked up to engage in it. Incest is wrong wrong wrong wrong and I could never like the characters if they engaged in it. I also don't see it.

Obviously, other people's mileage varies, and I have no problem with others seeing it, but just because it's two hot guys who are brothers and are thus together, doesn't make me see slash. (I have views on how everything is sexualized in modern culture, thus minimizing the importance of non-romantic bonds but it's a rant for another time).

[podgie.livejournal.com]

I don't like Wincest, either. Every time I picture it, I just sort of think of.. having sex with my sister, which makes me want to barf and die.

I do like RPS, though, because lets face it, Jensen and Jared are bother retardedly hot and make a sexy couple ;)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am not keen on RPS (a whole other story) but hey, the actors aren't related, so other than my general objection to RP stories, that is a lot less icky.

[podgie.livejournal.com]

Why don't you like RPS?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

OK. *puts on helmet, steps on soapbox*

Because, unlike Dean and Sam, who are fictional, JP and JA are real people. They are not characters who we know enough about, motivationswise, what goes into their head wise, to be able to write fic in chracter. Any character a real person will have in a fic is always made up.

Moreover, I consider it really ill-behaved, violating someone's privacy and just ill-mannered (would any of us like if strangers wrote sex scenes about us on line), and also a bizarre blurring between fiction and reality, and extreme objectification of others. These people are real, they exist right now. They aren't fictional constructs, the way characters are. There is an interesting thesis somewhere in this about how unreal we find real people that we see only on screen.

Basically, I find it intexplicable (might as well write original fic with characters who look like the actors), a bit disturbing, morally suspect and disrespectable to other human beings (because actors really are human beings. I think whatever their thoughts on fanfic about characters, they would be squicked by fic about them as people).

You did ask :)

[podgie.livejournal.com]

Lol, yes, I did ask :)

It was nice to see a long response instead of a two sentence one :D :D :D

I know that RPS is wrong and invading of privacy and everything, but I have crappy morals and I get easily distracted by them when I see a tempting fic that's written really well...

[cosmicviolet.livejournal.com]

I find it interesting that Sam is the rebel here by wanting to have a more normal life. It's a reversal from the usual. Someone on TWOP was also saying that the irony of the boys' situation is that for all the stories he makes up about who they are, Dean is actually a bad liar. It's Sam who can get people to trust him in ten seconds flat, by acting so friendly and open and nonthreatning, and like Dean says, giving them a puppy dog look. So at least he's got that going for him, I guess?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

That's true. Dean has a shifty vibe to him. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, if I met him in RL and he tried to pretend something (well, if he wanted in my pants, I'd give him a pass but other than that :P) Sam, by coming across as open and sharing actually can get much further. Hmmmm.