A priceless review for KoH by Flick Filosopher

[dangermousie]

Is Here

I am exerpting the best bits:

"Yum. I'm sorry -- I can't help it. He's beautiful. So, I'm shallow. I admit it. He's gorgeous, and any hotblooded heterosexual woman who denies she's going to see Kingdom of Heaven just because Orlando Bloom is in it is lying, I tell ya: lying."

"he strides across the screen all long and lanky and swings a sword and gets all angst-ridden for more reasons than a man should have to be angst-ridden and blinks those limpid eyes in masculine pain and talks with that mouth you just want to smush and make all the hurt go away..."

"wonder why I complain about how there's never enough women in adventure movies, cuz that means there's usually all sorts of delicious guys instead."

"I spent the whole film wondering, Is this all hopelessly revisionist, or is it just hopeful? And then Orlando Bloom is half naked in one ridiculously gratuitous moment, and I stopped wondering. That was religious experience enough for me."

Now, that's my kind of a reviewer!

Comments

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

I still go back and re-read her reviews of Hornblower when I need a pick-me-up. She rocks.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, she does. I don't always agree with her (how can one dislike The Apartment and From Here to Eternity and like Hulk?) But when we do agree, she hits on the reason why better than any other reviewer. Her reviews for the Lord of the Rings trilogy make me nod my head going "yes, yes, that is absolutely right," and so does her lukewarm review of something like Cold Mountain. And when she really hates a movie she is hilarious.

[lupitag.livejournal.com]

Lol...that is a cute review and right on the nose. :P

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Um, I'm seeing KoH because it has Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons, both of whom make me all mushy. I have sat through "Miami Vice" episodes for those men. I wouldn't do that for Bloom.

My daughter is an Orli-chick. It feels wrong for me to be gushing over him, too. Pretty, but he doesn't impress me much.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

They were in Miami Vice? *mind boggles* I drool over both Orlando and Liam and Jeremy. Which I guess makes me generationally confused.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Liam was, playing an IRA terrorist trying to raise funds in Miami. I think he wound up dealing drugs to get the money for the arms, and Crockett and Tubbs busted him.

I was distracted by Teh Pretteh, and numbed by 80s fashion sense.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

There is no such thing as 80s fashion sense :D

[vierran45.livejournal.com]

Though I drool over all three of them, I guess I'm kind of between in my age, since Orlando feels too young and Liam & Jeremy feel a bit too old :P.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

LOL! That's priceless. And so true. :D Though I loved the film for many reasons.