Thought on Logan's self-destructive acting out

[dangermousie]

And yes, I know no one has any interest. But at least this time it's brief.

I keep thinking that Logan's self-destructive behavior stems from the same place as his designed-to-provoke comments do. It proves to him he matters. It means people notice him, even if they only notice him to hurt him or lash back at him, or whatever. If Big Dick notices him by getting him for screwing his wife, at least it means he notices Logan exists. He keeps provoking Weevil all through S1, Veronica throughout, because he wants their reaction. He hates most being invisible, unimportant. Watch him push Duncan's buttons in this week's episode until he gets that outburst. He doesn't care if the reaction is negative, as long as it's there. In fact, I am sure the self-loathing part of him craves the negative reaction. He just wants to register (and it's interesting that the one time we see him drop the "push buttons" act was when he was dating Veronica, because yes, then he knew he was visible and important to someone without having to go to the unpleasantness place). Logan can deal with hate. He can't take indifference.

I really do think it has a lot to do with Aaron, and not just because Aaron and Lynn's parenting gave him the self-esteem issues so he always needs external validation. If you think about it, Aaron was a largely absent father, and considering how self-absorbed he was, I think the most attention he ever paid to Logan was during the abuse. So we have a situation where Logan's (rather natural) craving for attention ended up being mixed up with all sorts of fucked-up stuff. It would be so simple if Logan just hated Aaron, but the problem is that there is love in there too, however screwed up and poisoned. Just watch him act out after Lynn's death. He is pushing all the buttons he can as if he is almost asking for a beating (and watch him with Big Dick at the gun range, the way he is acting is once again, as if he is missing and trying to re-enact the Aaron-Logan dynamic, with BD=Aaron, only this time Logan's cheating with his SO). Because the sad thing is, the guy is very neglected, and he just wants to connect, even if it's dysfunctional. I bet one of Aaron's little justifications was "I beat you because I care about what you do. If I didn't care at all, I'd let everything slide", so in some perverse way, the fact that the person hurts you=you are important to them, is really stuck in Logan's mind (even if you are only important as someone to hate).

Comments

[winterspel.livejournal.com]

And yes, I know no one has any interest.

Awww, have you gotten flack over your VM posts? I love them, even when I don't have anything to say. In this case, I agree with you pretty much all the way. I can just hear Aaron saying "I beat you because I care about what you do. If I didn't care at all, I'd let everything slide" (as you wrote) -- he just seems like that kind of guy!

Poor Logan. He is so self-destructive, but I don't think he knows how to be otherwise. Oh, how he needs T-H-E-R-A-P-Y.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I can just hear Aaron saying "I beat you because I care about what you do. If I didn't care at all, I'd let everything slide" (as you wrote) -- he just seems like that kind of guy!


Aaron is able to self-justify to an amazing degree, and I am sure that is even what he himself believes. Because good Dads don't abuse their children. Of course the alternative route is that Logan=Evil, but Good Dads, don't have evil offspring, and then of course, you are not supposed to abuse any type of child anyway. But teaching them a lesson? That's a whole other matter of course.

If the guy couldn't remember that his kid had a severe shellfish allergy, or even when his birthday was, then yes, I really doubt he'd spend much time with Logan, unless Logan did something to piss him off. Hello, unhealthy, self-destructive pattern!

Oh, how he needs T-H-E-R-A-P-Y.

Yes, indeedy. Actually, even without therapy (and without Veronica *sob*), I think enough time by himself, without Aaron ever able to be in his life in any way, he is bound to eventually straighten out (I'm an optimist). The thing is, the guy needs just one person to love him unconditionally and be there for him, and he's never had that in his life. If he was secure in that, he would probably become much more healthy.

Btw, I love all your icons! So pretty.

[winterspel.livejournal.com]

The thing is, the guy needs just one person to love him unconditionally and be there for him, and he's never had that in his life. If he was secure in that, he would probably become much more healthy.

Word. This is my entirely philosophy about the future of Logan's future emotional well-being, very succinctly stated. This is the idea that I used as the foundation of my fic - I really think things would change given enough time and love (and a lack of egregious external stressors).

Btw, I love all your icons! So pretty.

Thank you! I'm obsessed with icons, and I love the bright, vibrant ones the best. If you ever have any to recc, I'm always thrilled to find news ones.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I really think things would change given enough time and love (and a lack of egregious external stressors).


Of course, knowing how much the TPTB love to torture Logan, I doubt we'll be getting that any time soon. His pain is my entertainment which is totally bad, but then I remind myself he is fictional. Hmmmm.

If you ever have any to recc, I'm always thrilled to find news ones.

I probably don't because all my icons are fandom related (Roswell, or VM or BSG or Bollywood or what have you). But I really love just the pretty nature ones: they are so beautiful.

[winterspel.livejournal.com]

Poor Logan; he'll be so tortured by the time the writers are done with him! You're right of course; his pain is our entertainment (gods, I'm so evil, but I don't care).

wizzicons makes almost all of my non-fandom icons. Her work is still my favorite stuff out there.

And I love all icons, fandom or not (I told you I'm obsessed; it's a sickness, I tell ya). So seriously, recc away if ever you see any that knock you over! :D

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Poor Logan; he'll be so tortured by the time the writers are done with him!

The thing is, he already should be in treatment with all this trauma. If the show goes on for a few more years (yes, please!) the guy will have to be committed :)

[missmarch.livejournal.com]

I also love your VM posts but can hardly think of anything to say, because you seem to say exactly what I'm thinking.

Yes, indeedy. Actually, even without therapy (and without Veronica *sob*), I think enough time by himself, without Aaron ever able to be in his life in any way, he is bound to eventually straighten out (I'm an optimist). The thing is, the guy needs just one person to love him unconditionally and be there for him, and he's never had that in his life. If he was secure in that, he would probably become much more healthy.

Like this for example is exactly the way I feel about Logan. I do hope he can straighten himself out, and I don't want it to be only because of Veronica. But he needs someone to give a damn about him. That's why I can't blame him for Kendall. I think a casual, sexual connection, in his mind, is better than no connection at all.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

do hope he can straighten himself out, and I don't want it to be only because of Veronica.

Exactly. It might sound romantic, to find purpose in loving someone, but it's really badly unhealthy in the long run. He needs to find internal validation and worth (yes, I know it sounds like psychobabble). That way it would be lasting, and more healthy and he won't be desperate.

That's why I can't blame him for Kendall. I think a casual, sexual connection, in his mind, is better than no connection at all.

Exactly. He is just drifting and he has no one at all. No family (does the guy have any grandparents? I mean I know he has a family from hell, but he really needs an older adult role model, he's dying for a father figure), no significant other, no real friends, because Dick? Come on, in normal times it's clear he and Logan just hang out acquiantance like but there is no deep friendship because they don't have much in common.

He's coping pretty well, considering. I mean, in "Clash of the Tritons" he was pretty serious when he asked "what's so great about living?" and that was before he lost his mother and Duncan (and even Aaron, though he hated him, gave his life some structure).

[ex-beautyof.livejournal.com]

"And yes, I know no one has any interest. But at least this time it's brief."

I actually read your VM posts everytime, I just feel silly saying 'Oh I totally agree', which doesn't normally happen *weird*, i think your thoughts on the show and its characters are spot on.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *preens* I wasn't asking for compliments. I just know that most of the people on my flist aren't VM fans and usually I'm good about doing a balance of posts, but I kinda went nutty over VM here :)

[ex-beautyof.livejournal.com]

well I really meant it, + its a great show :)

[adhuri-roshni.livejournal.com]

I only know one other person in RL who also watches the show so I appreciate your VM posts! Actually I think I'll need to backtrack to cover the earlier ones..;)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Heeeee...icon! :)

[adhuri-roshni.livejournal.com]

Oh yes speaking of which, I have you to thank for my summer Firefly obsession and subsequent misery at not being able to see Serenity. So thanks. >.<