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dangermousieOK, watching Salaam-e-Ishq reminded me how much I love John Abraham, arguably the hottest guy anywhere evah. Who also happens to be a Bollywood star (he and fiancée Bipasha Basu should be mandated to have children for the sake of genepool).
See? How can you resist?
But anyway, here is a list of my Top 10 John Abraham movies, in order from most fave down. Happy watching! With the exception of Salaam-e-Ishq which is currently in theaters, they are all available on DVD. Netflix should have most of them:
1. Salaam-e-Ishq:
My newest, my shiniest obsession. This is a madcap, whirling kaleidoscope of a movie with six separate stories. In John’s section of it, he plays Ashu, a young Hindu professional married to a Muslim reporter (played by Vidya Balan). Their families might have disowned them for the interreligious union but they are blissfully happy until tragedy strikes. And then John basically must try the impossible to find his love again and it’s awesome and angsty and beautiful and OMG he is hot when he runs! I’d write more, but I did just write seven full pages on the movie.
2. Karam:
I might be one of three people who saw this movie, as it flopped faster than a stone. I can see why. Though it still possesses a gorgeous soundtrack, this is not really a Bollywood movie, but as if Bollywood decided to do a Hong Kong film. Aside from the typically Bollywood song number over the credits with the protagonists John and Priyanka Chopra (enjoy the happiness guys, this is all you are going to get), this is really not a typical masala film and all the songs you are going to get are only overlaid into the soundtrack.
John plays the protagonist, an assassin for a mob boss. He likes his job just fine and he is good at it. The only thing the man really loves though is his wife (played by the stunning Priyanka Chopra as a nightclub singer who knows of her husband’s job and made her peace with it). But after an assassination attempt gone horribly wrong, John wants out. After all, what good is an assassin with PTSD? His boss has other ideas however. He’s just started a mob war and is not about to lose his best hitman. So he makes John a deal. Five designated hits in 24 hours or his wife dies. And just to make sure, he has Priyanka taken into custody.
The movie follows John as his world disintegrates around him: as he tries to triple cross his minders, to free his wife without having to work again, to deal with his PTSD symptoms, while still having to kill, to carry out the hits because he doesn’t have too much wiggle room, and all the while the cops are getting closer and closer to him.
What makes me love it so? It is possibly one of the most beautifully shot Bollywood movies, with its use of colors (in one of John’s nightmares, the only bit of color are the goldfish in the bowl, one of his assassinations is carried out in a club that looks like something one would imagine on LSD), and images of alienation in the rain, and some stark violence replaces people dancing in meadows. It is also, surprisingly, one of the most romantic. The protagonist is a lost soul, but he loves his wife. He is killing for her. How is that for an anniversary gift?
Oh and for the record? John Abraham? Breaks beautifully.
3. Taxi 9211:
Yet another offbeat movie. John Abraham plays a spoiled brat whose paths cross with an irascible taxi driver (played by the awesome Nana Patekar) with disastrous consequences for both. I think it’s a bit Changing Lanes but veers off into a different direction. It’s really good, and part of the reason is the fact that John Abraham is really good at playing someone with an edge who is also rather desperate (in fact, I think SeI was the first time I saw him play someone not like that. The desperation was there, but I didn’t get the darkness. Oh wait, there was Water…)
4. Paap:
OK, people, I’ll give it to you straight. This is a Witness remake. Just replace Amish with Buddhist monks. But WHO THE HELL CARES??? It has awesome sex scenes (by Bolly standards they are SCANDALOUS: I will never view a kitchen the same way again), incredible scenery, John Abraham pushing all my hurt-comfort buttons, and did I mention Buddhist monks? Also, I like the ending of this one much better. I remember being horribly sick and only being able to eat toast and still being giddy because this was way too much fun.
5. Water:
I am a bad girl. I place the cheesy goodness of Paap above Oscar nominated feminist Water. Sorry, but this is a JA-centric rec list, and while I liked his Narayan just fine in Water, where are the sex scenes on the kitchen table? AHEM.
6. Kabul Express:
Once again, rather different and quite off-beat (if you are looking for any love story, move along, not the movie for you). This story of a ragtag bunch of journos travelling in Afghanistan (saddled with a horrid American actress who cannot act, which is why this isn’t higher on the list) was apparently actually filmed in Afghanistan and maintains a fascinating, off-beat vibe throughout and is actually quite quite good.
7. Dhoom:
Oh the cheesy, action-packed goodness. The story of this first installment in the Dhoom series is what else? A tough cop (Abhishek Bachchan) is out to catch a mysterious super-thief (John Abraham) who rides really really fast motorcycles (in RL, John Abraham is supposed to be a bike nut, and I don’t remember if they stuck it in because he is or he developed an interest after this movie, or what). Alas for Abhishek’s poor policeman. Just as in Dhoom2, here again the show is stolen by the bad guy, who is so awesomely magnetic and bad boy and freakin’ sexy, that I really don’t care about the law and order goals. This was my first John Abraham movie and I first saw him in some random scene (we were in a restaurant that was showing Indian movies). I took one look and went…’WHOA, that’s him?’
8. Virrudh:
(where is John Abraham? Inside that red urn).
He has a fairly small role in this (and is great in it) though it’s largely Amitabh Bachchan’s show. It’s an excellent movie but I will never watch it again, as it’s too freaking depressing. Of course, the story of a father trying to get justice for his son’s murder could probably be more depressing. But I am not sure how.
9. Elaan:
Mmmmm. Elaan. It’s a cheesy action flick with no pretensions and a lot of gorgeous people. A grieving adopted son assembles a crew of four other misfits to take out a mob boss who killed his father. John Abraham is the mob boss’ former hitman (notice a theme) who gets smuggled out of prison (when we first meet him, he is bashing people’s faces in, in jail, most likely because they wanted into his pants, at least IMO). He and his ‘we know who wears the pants in this relationship’ girlfriend, Lara Dutta, start out doublecrossing the rest but of course bond and join the forces of justice. They are too hot not to. Elaan features on of the hottest picturizations I’ve seen: John Abraham can be all over me in a waterfall any time. At least if I were single, that is.
10. OK, this movie's name means 'body' in Hindi. That's all I am gonna say :D
Remake of Body Heat, this is the flick that got him famous. You know the plot. Scheming wife, guilty lovers, husband offed for insurance, double crossing blah blah blah. The movie is largely to be noted for how hot he is and for the fact that this movie has (shocking for Bollywood) French kissing. Yes, wicked. In a notable comment on mores difference between Bollywood and Hollywood, JA’s kissee Bipasha Basu, who was his then-girlfriend and is now his fiancée, stated that she was comfortable doing it on screen because she is dating him, otherwise no way. Whether this is true or not, the fact that even a sex-symbol bombshell like Bipasha felt it politic to say that speaks volumes.
More Karam posters as a bonus:
If you want to see more pics, just click on the 'john abraham' tag.
See? How can you resist?
But anyway, here is a list of my Top 10 John Abraham movies, in order from most fave down. Happy watching! With the exception of Salaam-e-Ishq which is currently in theaters, they are all available on DVD. Netflix should have most of them:
1. Salaam-e-Ishq:
My newest, my shiniest obsession. This is a madcap, whirling kaleidoscope of a movie with six separate stories. In John’s section of it, he plays Ashu, a young Hindu professional married to a Muslim reporter (played by Vidya Balan). Their families might have disowned them for the interreligious union but they are blissfully happy until tragedy strikes. And then John basically must try the impossible to find his love again and it’s awesome and angsty and beautiful and OMG he is hot when he runs! I’d write more, but I did just write seven full pages on the movie.
2. Karam:
I might be one of three people who saw this movie, as it flopped faster than a stone. I can see why. Though it still possesses a gorgeous soundtrack, this is not really a Bollywood movie, but as if Bollywood decided to do a Hong Kong film. Aside from the typically Bollywood song number over the credits with the protagonists John and Priyanka Chopra (enjoy the happiness guys, this is all you are going to get), this is really not a typical masala film and all the songs you are going to get are only overlaid into the soundtrack.
John plays the protagonist, an assassin for a mob boss. He likes his job just fine and he is good at it. The only thing the man really loves though is his wife (played by the stunning Priyanka Chopra as a nightclub singer who knows of her husband’s job and made her peace with it). But after an assassination attempt gone horribly wrong, John wants out. After all, what good is an assassin with PTSD? His boss has other ideas however. He’s just started a mob war and is not about to lose his best hitman. So he makes John a deal. Five designated hits in 24 hours or his wife dies. And just to make sure, he has Priyanka taken into custody.
The movie follows John as his world disintegrates around him: as he tries to triple cross his minders, to free his wife without having to work again, to deal with his PTSD symptoms, while still having to kill, to carry out the hits because he doesn’t have too much wiggle room, and all the while the cops are getting closer and closer to him.
What makes me love it so? It is possibly one of the most beautifully shot Bollywood movies, with its use of colors (in one of John’s nightmares, the only bit of color are the goldfish in the bowl, one of his assassinations is carried out in a club that looks like something one would imagine on LSD), and images of alienation in the rain, and some stark violence replaces people dancing in meadows. It is also, surprisingly, one of the most romantic. The protagonist is a lost soul, but he loves his wife. He is killing for her. How is that for an anniversary gift?
Oh and for the record? John Abraham? Breaks beautifully.
3. Taxi 9211:
Yet another offbeat movie. John Abraham plays a spoiled brat whose paths cross with an irascible taxi driver (played by the awesome Nana Patekar) with disastrous consequences for both. I think it’s a bit Changing Lanes but veers off into a different direction. It’s really good, and part of the reason is the fact that John Abraham is really good at playing someone with an edge who is also rather desperate (in fact, I think SeI was the first time I saw him play someone not like that. The desperation was there, but I didn’t get the darkness. Oh wait, there was Water…)
4. Paap:
OK, people, I’ll give it to you straight. This is a Witness remake. Just replace Amish with Buddhist monks. But WHO THE HELL CARES??? It has awesome sex scenes (by Bolly standards they are SCANDALOUS: I will never view a kitchen the same way again), incredible scenery, John Abraham pushing all my hurt-comfort buttons, and did I mention Buddhist monks? Also, I like the ending of this one much better. I remember being horribly sick and only being able to eat toast and still being giddy because this was way too much fun.
5. Water:
I am a bad girl. I place the cheesy goodness of Paap above Oscar nominated feminist Water. Sorry, but this is a JA-centric rec list, and while I liked his Narayan just fine in Water, where are the sex scenes on the kitchen table? AHEM.
6. Kabul Express:
Once again, rather different and quite off-beat (if you are looking for any love story, move along, not the movie for you). This story of a ragtag bunch of journos travelling in Afghanistan (saddled with a horrid American actress who cannot act, which is why this isn’t higher on the list) was apparently actually filmed in Afghanistan and maintains a fascinating, off-beat vibe throughout and is actually quite quite good.
7. Dhoom:
Oh the cheesy, action-packed goodness. The story of this first installment in the Dhoom series is what else? A tough cop (Abhishek Bachchan) is out to catch a mysterious super-thief (John Abraham) who rides really really fast motorcycles (in RL, John Abraham is supposed to be a bike nut, and I don’t remember if they stuck it in because he is or he developed an interest after this movie, or what). Alas for Abhishek’s poor policeman. Just as in Dhoom2, here again the show is stolen by the bad guy, who is so awesomely magnetic and bad boy and freakin’ sexy, that I really don’t care about the law and order goals. This was my first John Abraham movie and I first saw him in some random scene (we were in a restaurant that was showing Indian movies). I took one look and went…’WHOA, that’s him?’
8. Virrudh:
(where is John Abraham? Inside that red urn).
He has a fairly small role in this (and is great in it) though it’s largely Amitabh Bachchan’s show. It’s an excellent movie but I will never watch it again, as it’s too freaking depressing. Of course, the story of a father trying to get justice for his son’s murder could probably be more depressing. But I am not sure how.
9. Elaan:
Mmmmm. Elaan. It’s a cheesy action flick with no pretensions and a lot of gorgeous people. A grieving adopted son assembles a crew of four other misfits to take out a mob boss who killed his father. John Abraham is the mob boss’ former hitman (notice a theme) who gets smuggled out of prison (when we first meet him, he is bashing people’s faces in, in jail, most likely because they wanted into his pants, at least IMO). He and his ‘we know who wears the pants in this relationship’ girlfriend, Lara Dutta, start out doublecrossing the rest but of course bond and join the forces of justice. They are too hot not to. Elaan features on of the hottest picturizations I’ve seen: John Abraham can be all over me in a waterfall any time. At least if I were single, that is.
10. OK, this movie's name means 'body' in Hindi. That's all I am gonna say :D
Remake of Body Heat, this is the flick that got him famous. You know the plot. Scheming wife, guilty lovers, husband offed for insurance, double crossing blah blah blah. The movie is largely to be noted for how hot he is and for the fact that this movie has (shocking for Bollywood) French kissing. Yes, wicked. In a notable comment on mores difference between Bollywood and Hollywood, JA’s kissee Bipasha Basu, who was his then-girlfriend and is now his fiancée, stated that she was comfortable doing it on screen because she is dating him, otherwise no way. Whether this is true or not, the fact that even a sex-symbol bombshell like Bipasha felt it politic to say that speaks volumes.
More Karam posters as a bonus:
If you want to see more pics, just click on the 'john abraham' tag.
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