Favorite VM quotes
Oct. 3rd, 2005 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieOne of the main reasons I am in love with the show is the dialogue.
So here are some samples, from eps 1.18-1.22:
1.18
LEO: Any chance I'm ever gonna get to see the inside of your apartment?
VERONICA: And what, exactly, are you hoping to see? Our good china, the screening room?
LEO: Wanted to get a really good long look at your bedroom ceiling.
VERONICA: Wow! College girls must be easy.
LEO: This is my 'A' material. They swoon.
VERONICA: My dad's home. I saw his car outside.
LEO: But he's cool with us, right?
VERONICA: Like, has he made a couple of remarks about the 29 month age difference? He has. On the other hand, he likes the fact that you carry a gun. Not so much that he's okay to sleepover but, yeah, he likes you.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Dear Seventeen Magazine. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class likes me? No. Scratch that. Dear Seventeen. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class killed his own sister?
VERONICA: That was either a really poor warm welcome or an excellent cold shoulder.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: A girl must prioritise. Wallowing in the grief of betraying an ex-boyfriend or following the guy most likely to blow up Neptune High. Hell, give me a stick of gum to chew and I'll do all three at once.
1.19
VERONICA: I'll be at home. With the only sane member of the Mars family.
KEITH: The one who eats from the garbage and keeps bringing me dead birds?
VERONICA: That's the one.
LOGAN: So, uh, what do you think?
VERONICA: Like...in general, or is there a specific arena in which you'd like my opinion?
LOGAN: Do you think Duncan, uh, is just cooling off or is he, like, holed up in some hotel room pouring peroxide on his hair and trying to file his fingerprints off?
VERONICA: Honestly, I have no idea.
LEO: What is it about bad boys?
VERONICA: Um, tattoos, leather, parole violations. Total good-girl bait.
LEO: I'm doomed.
TRINA: My boyfriend Dylan spotted me some cash a few months ago and…now he's bugging me about it. I-I can't get him off my back.
LOGAN: Did you try standing up?
LOGAN: That wannabe producer boyfriend do this to you? What's his name, Dylan? Dylan what, what's his last name?
TRINA: It doesn't matter.
LOGAN: It does now! Tell me.
TRINA: You've made it clear that you have no interest in my problems, Logan. Don't be wishy-washy. It's so unattractive in a guy.
WALLACE: I walked in on 'em making out on the couch last night. She was sittin' on his lap.
VERONICA: Hey, hey, hey! No discussing parental PDA at lunch! It's your rule!
WALLACE: Sorry. I can't be the only one with that image burned in my brain. I had to share.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: So there's a dog man who hires these guys to return dogs. He drives a white van, or maybe a white horse, and he likes to spank busty women. Basically, that's any male living in Neptune.
VERONICA: You're handling it a lot better than I thought you would.
LOGAN: I loved Lilly and Lilly loved guys.
VERONICA: Logan, you know that she-
LOGAN: You know, she used to say that her parents worshipped Duncan and tolerated her. And if she couldn't please 'em, she was gonna go out of her way to piss 'em off. Weevil must have been perfect for that.
VERONICA: I know Lilly loved you.
LOGAN: Well, just not like I loved her.
VERONICA: Maybe we should just keep it to ourselves for a while and see what happens.
LOGAN: Meet in mop closets? Pass each other secret notes in the hallway? Come on, I'll drive you home on the back streets.
VERONICA: Trust me, you don't want to date me. I'm a train wreck. Seriously. The-the first guy I ever loved just dropped off the face of the earth, probably because of something I said, and the last guy I dated turned out to be a drug dealer, and I just made out with my dead best friend's boyfriend, who, incidentally, I hate. So. Train wreck.
1.20
VERONICA: No offence but you look odd.
WALLACE: I just watched our parents cuddle on the couch last night. My eyes…they burn.
VERONICA: Any idea what our parents do Mondays and Wednesdays from six to ten that requires an overnight bag?
WALLACE: As far as I'm concerned, they play bingo at the VFW. That's my story, I'm sticking with it.
VERONICA: Hey, do you think this thing…will ever get more normal?
LOGAN: What, like will we ever hang at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say "I wuv you bear-y much"?
VERONICA: Yes, exactly that. Except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of ring tossing ability.
LOGAN: Well, secrets are kinda hot, too.
1.21
LOGAN: You think she had any real interest in you? You're a pork rind. You're what people grab when they're stoned and just want garbage.
WEEVIL: What makes it worse? Thinking she had feelings for me, or that she was using me for sex?
Logan and Veronica's personal theater of pain :P. Wheeee, angst!
VERONICA: It's kind of a bad time.
LOGAN: Okay. So I should come back when, never? That work for you? What did I do, Veronica? Can you just tell me so that I can a-a-apologise or explain?!
VERONICA: Explain. Okay. Explain to me why you were the one with GHB the night of Shelly Pomeroy's party when someone drugged and raped me. Explanation? Apology?
LOGAN: You were raped?
VERONICA: Okay, don't! Seriously!
LOGAN: What happened to you?
VERONICA: You tell me.
LOGAN: Wait. Wait a second, you think-
VERONICA: I was told you were the one with the drugs.
LOGAN: Yeah. I got some Liquid X when I was in Tijuana with Luke and Sean. We were just gonna have some fun.
VERONICA: Fun? Like sex with unconscious people fun?
LOGAN: No, fun like go to a rave fun.
VERONICA: Oh. Okay. You've convinced me. Bygones.
LOGAN: What can I do? What can I do to make it better?
VERONICA: I'm going to find out who did this to me and I'm going to make them pay. Even if it was you. Sorry. I have to go throw up now.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: As a rule, people that hate you aren't that helpful. There were about a hundred people at Shelly's party. Ninety-eight of them would walk over my corpse for free gum.
LUKE: Please, you have like the hottest girlfriend ever.
DICK: Much like fake boobs, you know. Great to look at but they don't do as much as you'd like them to.
DICK: She's actually kinda hot. When she's quiet. Perfectly cute piece of ass. Ready and willing.
BEAVER: She's not willing, Dick, she's unconscious.
DICK: It's kinda the best you're gonna do, bro'. You're not real big with the sober chicks.
AARON: Ah! Especially for you tonight, I am making what will be known from now on as "Aaron's Extra Special Crab Cakes." Ha ha!
LOGAN: I'm sure I'll thoroughly enjoy them. Right up until my oesophagus closes up, cuts off my air supply, and I shuffle off this mortal coil. Perhaps my last words will be "Great crab, Papa." I'm allergic to shellfish.
AARON: Of course. I forgot.
LOGAN: You didn't forget. You never knew.
AARON: I did, I-I-I just got you confused with Trina, that's all.
LOGAN: I'm the one allergic to shellfish. Trina's the one allergic to work.
AARON: You know, somehow you got it in your head that I don't know a thing about you. Well, I got news for you: I'm your father. I raised you. I know plenty.
LOGAN: Well, then, round one of "How well do you know your son?" When is my birthday?
AARON: February.
LOGAN: Wow. Well, you got a vowel right.
AARON: Look, does it matter…that I'm trying? I mean, does that count for anything at all?
LOGAN: Yeah, You're accumulating points. You've almost won the wet vac
AARON: I'm committed to this family, Logan. I'm committed to you. You'll see that.
LOGAN: Well, you've got limited time 'cause let's face it, my eighteenth birthday, whenever that is, Mom's inheritance comes through and it's bon voyage.
DICK: Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is like, some new reality show called "My Skank".
LOGAN: Goodbye, Dick.
DICK: What?
LOGAN: Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno. That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend then just start heading toward the rectangle with the knob.
VERONICA: What are you doing?
LOGAN: You're too short. It means I level the playing field.
VERONICA: Is this where you take all your conquests?
LOGAN: Nope, only the short ones.
LOGAN: Hey, I have to tell you something.
VERONICA: I'm sorry, we're past the confessional portion of this program. We're on to the make out.
LOGAN: I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. And I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you.
insert Dangermousie's big awwwwww
1.22
LIANNE: What?
VERONICA: It's just funny to me how you always have to have your music match your meal.
LIANNE: It is called setting a mood.
VERONICA: Of course.
LIANNE: Connie Francis is spaghetti bolognaise with a crusty bread and a nice Chianti. Uh, sans the Chianti.
VERONICA: Okay, say we were having hot dogs and Tater Tots?
LIANNE: Late seventies southern rock, Skynyrd, maybe Creedence.
VERONICA: Pork chops.
LIANNE: Country, old school.
KEITH: Unless it's fried, then it's Elvis, the early years.
DUNCAN: So, anyone read the paper today? Garfield. I mean, will he ever learn? Oh yeah, and there was this other thing. I guess Abel Koontz didn't kill Lilly. Let's open the floor for discussion on that one, what do you say?
VERONICA: Hey.
LOGAN: Oh. I exist? Thought I felt different today.
VERONICA: I've been avoiding you.
LOGAN: Really? I hadn't noticed.
VERONICA: I'm sorry. I freaked out. That night in the guest house, we were like crossing over into something and I-I don't know, all of a sudden I just felt really weird and guilty and I started thinking about Duncan and about Lilly and…it wasn't the easiest night to begin with.
LOGAN: I know.
VERONICA: I just couldn't deal.
LOGAN: Well, you could've told me. No, I mean even if you just said I can't deal but you bolt and you dodge me for a couple days…
VERONICA: It's what I do. When things get out of control, I need to be alone.
OK, I know why Veronica is doing this and I understand, but boy do I feel bad for Logan here
LAMB: [Tapping the table for emphasis] You said you were in Mexico the day of Lilly's murder. Why?
LOGAN: How many episodes of "NYPD Blue" did you have to watch to get the finger tapping down?
LAMB: I asked you a question.
LOGAN: And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up.
Logan snaps his fingers.
LAMB: Do I look like I am playing around with you?
LOGAN: So how 'bout that phone call, huh?
LAMB: [Whispers] Whoops.
LOGAN: What, you didn't read the manual? Okay, I get a phone call, it's the law.
LOGAN: So, I guess we broke up, huh?
VERONICA: What do you want me to say, Logan?
LOGAN: "Logan, I'm gonna go home and put my head in the oven because I can't go on living knowing what a heartless BITCH I am." Something like that!
VERONICA: So you're saying you want me dead?
LOGAN: Yes.
LOGAN: I knew Lilly was seeing someone. It was driving me crazy. When I left for Neptune, I didn't know if I was gonna scream at her for treating me like dirt or beg her to take me back.
LILLY: I left phone numbers on matchbooks for Tyrone and Leroy and Chico around the room. Give the woman a little drama in her life.
VERONICA: Wait...who's Tyrone and Leroy and Chico?
LILLY: Beats me, but they seem to really upset Mom.
So here are some samples, from eps 1.18-1.22:
1.18
LEO: Any chance I'm ever gonna get to see the inside of your apartment?
VERONICA: And what, exactly, are you hoping to see? Our good china, the screening room?
LEO: Wanted to get a really good long look at your bedroom ceiling.
VERONICA: Wow! College girls must be easy.
LEO: This is my 'A' material. They swoon.
VERONICA: My dad's home. I saw his car outside.
LEO: But he's cool with us, right?
VERONICA: Like, has he made a couple of remarks about the 29 month age difference? He has. On the other hand, he likes the fact that you carry a gun. Not so much that he's okay to sleepover but, yeah, he likes you.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Dear Seventeen Magazine. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class likes me? No. Scratch that. Dear Seventeen. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class killed his own sister?
VERONICA: That was either a really poor warm welcome or an excellent cold shoulder.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: A girl must prioritise. Wallowing in the grief of betraying an ex-boyfriend or following the guy most likely to blow up Neptune High. Hell, give me a stick of gum to chew and I'll do all three at once.
1.19
VERONICA: I'll be at home. With the only sane member of the Mars family.
KEITH: The one who eats from the garbage and keeps bringing me dead birds?
VERONICA: That's the one.
LOGAN: So, uh, what do you think?
VERONICA: Like...in general, or is there a specific arena in which you'd like my opinion?
LOGAN: Do you think Duncan, uh, is just cooling off or is he, like, holed up in some hotel room pouring peroxide on his hair and trying to file his fingerprints off?
VERONICA: Honestly, I have no idea.
LEO: What is it about bad boys?
VERONICA: Um, tattoos, leather, parole violations. Total good-girl bait.
LEO: I'm doomed.
TRINA: My boyfriend Dylan spotted me some cash a few months ago and…now he's bugging me about it. I-I can't get him off my back.
LOGAN: Did you try standing up?
LOGAN: That wannabe producer boyfriend do this to you? What's his name, Dylan? Dylan what, what's his last name?
TRINA: It doesn't matter.
LOGAN: It does now! Tell me.
TRINA: You've made it clear that you have no interest in my problems, Logan. Don't be wishy-washy. It's so unattractive in a guy.
WALLACE: I walked in on 'em making out on the couch last night. She was sittin' on his lap.
VERONICA: Hey, hey, hey! No discussing parental PDA at lunch! It's your rule!
WALLACE: Sorry. I can't be the only one with that image burned in my brain. I had to share.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: So there's a dog man who hires these guys to return dogs. He drives a white van, or maybe a white horse, and he likes to spank busty women. Basically, that's any male living in Neptune.
VERONICA: You're handling it a lot better than I thought you would.
LOGAN: I loved Lilly and Lilly loved guys.
VERONICA: Logan, you know that she-
LOGAN: You know, she used to say that her parents worshipped Duncan and tolerated her. And if she couldn't please 'em, she was gonna go out of her way to piss 'em off. Weevil must have been perfect for that.
VERONICA: I know Lilly loved you.
LOGAN: Well, just not like I loved her.
VERONICA: Maybe we should just keep it to ourselves for a while and see what happens.
LOGAN: Meet in mop closets? Pass each other secret notes in the hallway? Come on, I'll drive you home on the back streets.
VERONICA: Trust me, you don't want to date me. I'm a train wreck. Seriously. The-the first guy I ever loved just dropped off the face of the earth, probably because of something I said, and the last guy I dated turned out to be a drug dealer, and I just made out with my dead best friend's boyfriend, who, incidentally, I hate. So. Train wreck.
1.20
VERONICA: No offence but you look odd.
WALLACE: I just watched our parents cuddle on the couch last night. My eyes…they burn.
VERONICA: Any idea what our parents do Mondays and Wednesdays from six to ten that requires an overnight bag?
WALLACE: As far as I'm concerned, they play bingo at the VFW. That's my story, I'm sticking with it.
VERONICA: Hey, do you think this thing…will ever get more normal?
LOGAN: What, like will we ever hang at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say "I wuv you bear-y much"?
VERONICA: Yes, exactly that. Except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of ring tossing ability.
LOGAN: Well, secrets are kinda hot, too.
1.21
LOGAN: You think she had any real interest in you? You're a pork rind. You're what people grab when they're stoned and just want garbage.
WEEVIL: What makes it worse? Thinking she had feelings for me, or that she was using me for sex?
Logan and Veronica's personal theater of pain :P. Wheeee, angst!
VERONICA: It's kind of a bad time.
LOGAN: Okay. So I should come back when, never? That work for you? What did I do, Veronica? Can you just tell me so that I can a-a-apologise or explain?!
VERONICA: Explain. Okay. Explain to me why you were the one with GHB the night of Shelly Pomeroy's party when someone drugged and raped me. Explanation? Apology?
LOGAN: You were raped?
VERONICA: Okay, don't! Seriously!
LOGAN: What happened to you?
VERONICA: You tell me.
LOGAN: Wait. Wait a second, you think-
VERONICA: I was told you were the one with the drugs.
LOGAN: Yeah. I got some Liquid X when I was in Tijuana with Luke and Sean. We were just gonna have some fun.
VERONICA: Fun? Like sex with unconscious people fun?
LOGAN: No, fun like go to a rave fun.
VERONICA: Oh. Okay. You've convinced me. Bygones.
LOGAN: What can I do? What can I do to make it better?
VERONICA: I'm going to find out who did this to me and I'm going to make them pay. Even if it was you. Sorry. I have to go throw up now.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: As a rule, people that hate you aren't that helpful. There were about a hundred people at Shelly's party. Ninety-eight of them would walk over my corpse for free gum.
LUKE: Please, you have like the hottest girlfriend ever.
DICK: Much like fake boobs, you know. Great to look at but they don't do as much as you'd like them to.
DICK: She's actually kinda hot. When she's quiet. Perfectly cute piece of ass. Ready and willing.
BEAVER: She's not willing, Dick, she's unconscious.
DICK: It's kinda the best you're gonna do, bro'. You're not real big with the sober chicks.
AARON: Ah! Especially for you tonight, I am making what will be known from now on as "Aaron's Extra Special Crab Cakes." Ha ha!
LOGAN: I'm sure I'll thoroughly enjoy them. Right up until my oesophagus closes up, cuts off my air supply, and I shuffle off this mortal coil. Perhaps my last words will be "Great crab, Papa." I'm allergic to shellfish.
AARON: Of course. I forgot.
LOGAN: You didn't forget. You never knew.
AARON: I did, I-I-I just got you confused with Trina, that's all.
LOGAN: I'm the one allergic to shellfish. Trina's the one allergic to work.
AARON: You know, somehow you got it in your head that I don't know a thing about you. Well, I got news for you: I'm your father. I raised you. I know plenty.
LOGAN: Well, then, round one of "How well do you know your son?" When is my birthday?
AARON: February.
LOGAN: Wow. Well, you got a vowel right.
AARON: Look, does it matter…that I'm trying? I mean, does that count for anything at all?
LOGAN: Yeah, You're accumulating points. You've almost won the wet vac
AARON: I'm committed to this family, Logan. I'm committed to you. You'll see that.
LOGAN: Well, you've got limited time 'cause let's face it, my eighteenth birthday, whenever that is, Mom's inheritance comes through and it's bon voyage.
DICK: Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is like, some new reality show called "My Skank".
LOGAN: Goodbye, Dick.
DICK: What?
LOGAN: Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno. That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend then just start heading toward the rectangle with the knob.
VERONICA: What are you doing?
LOGAN: You're too short. It means I level the playing field.
VERONICA: Is this where you take all your conquests?
LOGAN: Nope, only the short ones.
LOGAN: Hey, I have to tell you something.
VERONICA: I'm sorry, we're past the confessional portion of this program. We're on to the make out.
LOGAN: I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. And I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you.
insert Dangermousie's big awwwwww
1.22
LIANNE: What?
VERONICA: It's just funny to me how you always have to have your music match your meal.
LIANNE: It is called setting a mood.
VERONICA: Of course.
LIANNE: Connie Francis is spaghetti bolognaise with a crusty bread and a nice Chianti. Uh, sans the Chianti.
VERONICA: Okay, say we were having hot dogs and Tater Tots?
LIANNE: Late seventies southern rock, Skynyrd, maybe Creedence.
VERONICA: Pork chops.
LIANNE: Country, old school.
KEITH: Unless it's fried, then it's Elvis, the early years.
DUNCAN: So, anyone read the paper today? Garfield. I mean, will he ever learn? Oh yeah, and there was this other thing. I guess Abel Koontz didn't kill Lilly. Let's open the floor for discussion on that one, what do you say?
VERONICA: Hey.
LOGAN: Oh. I exist? Thought I felt different today.
VERONICA: I've been avoiding you.
LOGAN: Really? I hadn't noticed.
VERONICA: I'm sorry. I freaked out. That night in the guest house, we were like crossing over into something and I-I don't know, all of a sudden I just felt really weird and guilty and I started thinking about Duncan and about Lilly and…it wasn't the easiest night to begin with.
LOGAN: I know.
VERONICA: I just couldn't deal.
LOGAN: Well, you could've told me. No, I mean even if you just said I can't deal but you bolt and you dodge me for a couple days…
VERONICA: It's what I do. When things get out of control, I need to be alone.
OK, I know why Veronica is doing this and I understand, but boy do I feel bad for Logan here
LAMB: [Tapping the table for emphasis] You said you were in Mexico the day of Lilly's murder. Why?
LOGAN: How many episodes of "NYPD Blue" did you have to watch to get the finger tapping down?
LAMB: I asked you a question.
LOGAN: And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up.
Logan snaps his fingers.
LAMB: Do I look like I am playing around with you?
LOGAN: So how 'bout that phone call, huh?
LAMB: [Whispers] Whoops.
LOGAN: What, you didn't read the manual? Okay, I get a phone call, it's the law.
LOGAN: So, I guess we broke up, huh?
VERONICA: What do you want me to say, Logan?
LOGAN: "Logan, I'm gonna go home and put my head in the oven because I can't go on living knowing what a heartless BITCH I am." Something like that!
VERONICA: So you're saying you want me dead?
LOGAN: Yes.
LOGAN: I knew Lilly was seeing someone. It was driving me crazy. When I left for Neptune, I didn't know if I was gonna scream at her for treating me like dirt or beg her to take me back.
LILLY: I left phone numbers on matchbooks for Tyrone and Leroy and Chico around the room. Give the woman a little drama in her life.
VERONICA: Wait...who's Tyrone and Leroy and Chico?
LILLY: Beats me, but they seem to really upset Mom.
