The pits of Firefly fanfic
Jul. 25th, 2005 02:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dangermousieOK, so far I have a number of reasons why I am never going to get into Firefly fic if the fic I’ve read so far is any good sample of it. (though I would gladly have someone change my mind), starting with the least annoying and ending with most.
1. Random Chinese words. Yes, I know it’s canon. I don’t care. It throws me in anime fic, it throws me here. At least italicize them, dammit!
2. I don’t care if the characters drop their “g”s. When a fanfic author keeps writing this way, it drives me crazy. Barring “Uncle Remus,” no one should be allowed to write in dialect. It just makes the speakers sound like a bunch of inbred monkeys, and makes the reader want to sic these inbred monkeys on the author. I know they drop their “g”s, you know they drop their “g”s, how about we all just pretend they don’t and write normally?
3. Down-home folksisms. Yes, I know it’s a Space Western, but how about the “Space” part? If I feel like I am reading Zane Grey, this is not the fanfic for me. Also, all of it is making me picture John Wayne and that is just. Not. Right.
4. Slash? If it floats your boat. But I am allergic to anti-canon slash (thus, if you slash Mal, you better have a damn good reason) and if everyone in your story is involved in multiple slash pairings at the same time, how about you check that you are not stretching the bounds of probability so far that they have burst? This is scifi, not Stonewall in space.
5. Incest is NOT best. Unless you write it as disturbing as it would be, don’t. I also don’t think Inara would be peeking in curiosity. Really.
6. The first fic I clicked had River slip a “potion” in the crew’s meal so everyone ended up sexing like bunnies within the ships of the author’s choice. Yes, I ship Mal/Inara as much as the next person (unless the next person is a slasher), but no. No, no, no. If your story sounds like a plot for a particularly unimaginative porn movie, maybe you should rethink.
7. Strange as it may seem, torture or abuse is not the key to hooking your OTP together. If someone has narrowly missed losing a vital body part or has been abused in tittilatingly graphic fashion for hours/days/weeks/months, their first thought will not be to boink the preferred OTP of your choice as therapy. They are more likely to need drugs, surgery and/or go kill the person responsible. Sexing their way out of trouble isn’t going to be the number one issue on their priority list.
8. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are your friend. Even if you spelled them “speling, puncutation, and grammer.”
This said, I would love for someone to point me in the direction of some good Firefly fic.
1. Random Chinese words. Yes, I know it’s canon. I don’t care. It throws me in anime fic, it throws me here. At least italicize them, dammit!
2. I don’t care if the characters drop their “g”s. When a fanfic author keeps writing this way, it drives me crazy. Barring “Uncle Remus,” no one should be allowed to write in dialect. It just makes the speakers sound like a bunch of inbred monkeys, and makes the reader want to sic these inbred monkeys on the author. I know they drop their “g”s, you know they drop their “g”s, how about we all just pretend they don’t and write normally?
3. Down-home folksisms. Yes, I know it’s a Space Western, but how about the “Space” part? If I feel like I am reading Zane Grey, this is not the fanfic for me. Also, all of it is making me picture John Wayne and that is just. Not. Right.
4. Slash? If it floats your boat. But I am allergic to anti-canon slash (thus, if you slash Mal, you better have a damn good reason) and if everyone in your story is involved in multiple slash pairings at the same time, how about you check that you are not stretching the bounds of probability so far that they have burst? This is scifi, not Stonewall in space.
5. Incest is NOT best. Unless you write it as disturbing as it would be, don’t. I also don’t think Inara would be peeking in curiosity. Really.
6. The first fic I clicked had River slip a “potion” in the crew’s meal so everyone ended up sexing like bunnies within the ships of the author’s choice. Yes, I ship Mal/Inara as much as the next person (unless the next person is a slasher), but no. No, no, no. If your story sounds like a plot for a particularly unimaginative porn movie, maybe you should rethink.
7. Strange as it may seem, torture or abuse is not the key to hooking your OTP together. If someone has narrowly missed losing a vital body part or has been abused in tittilatingly graphic fashion for hours/days/weeks/months, their first thought will not be to boink the preferred OTP of your choice as therapy. They are more likely to need drugs, surgery and/or go kill the person responsible. Sexing their way out of trouble isn’t going to be the number one issue on their priority list.
8. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are your friend. Even if you spelled them “speling, puncutation, and grammer.”
This said, I would love for someone to point me in the direction of some good Firefly fic.
