Sparkly Vampires...

[dangermousie]

Are these Eurotrash? Or a Goth band on the way to a Eurovision contest? Well, that or vampires.

(For those of you who are wondering, we shall return to our regular drama programming on Monday, after a two-week hiatus by yours truly from any drama watching - A Man of Honor and Kim Tae Hee's jdrama are waiting).

I was in the mood for something cheesy and silly so, on an utter whim, I decided to watch New Moon.

Now, my whole Twilight history is as follows - I bought Twilight (the novel) before it got big, mainly because it had a pretty cover. I enjoyed it as a fun, romance-novel, brain-dead piece of candy. I barely made it through New Moon and never did read Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Oh, and I saw Twilight the Movie, which was horrible ("this is the skin of a killer!" Our whole theater lost it).

Watching NM, I skipped all vampire-less scenes - I thus didn't have to deal with Bella moping or Jacob (sorry, nothing against the guy, but he's kinda boring).

You know what hit me this time around?

1. I am actually pleased that female-targeted movies/books are such a hit. These things are basically cleaner romance novels, minus shirtless hunk on the cover. I like seeing that succeed.

2. I know it's fashionable to view SMeyer as the Archenemy but I don't get it. Sure, the plot could be tighter (but once again, this is a romance novel, where any plot is incidental to romance. Complaining these books lack plot is like complaining space opera has a lot of battles. I think privileging a plot-driven narrative over an emotion-driven one is problematic tbh), but she is a self-made woman - how many of us can turn our fantasies into $$$?

3. Related to 2 - the fashionable complaint is that SMeyer is antifeminist and her books are going to ruin ruin RUIN teen girls! This is silly. It's like the argument conservatives like to make that videogame violence leads to murder in real life. Whatever you may think of Bella (I couldn't help but notice, Bella is in the position of power - poor sparkly Edward has no say in anything - she wants to be a vampire, so guess what happens? He literally cannot live without her awesomeness, etcetc. Sure, he's obsessive and posessive, but this is a trashy Gothic romance novel - it's par for the course), nobody is going to model her life and relationships on her (or any other heroine of a novel or even a series of novels) unless there is something else hugely problematic going on in their lives. I spent my childhood/teen years reading Victorian novels and ancient Roman and Greek works - I have not turned into a pagan nympho (from reading Apuleius) or a Victorian child-woman.

Anyway, enough comments...Have the funniest thing in the movie - Edward trying to off himself by sparkliness. Literally. Ah, a small, silly part of me revels in this romance-novel cornucopia.







So, yeah, my verdict on the series still stands - so very trashy but so very entertaining...

I think more romance novels should be adopted into things for my delectation. The movies of this have a huge advantage of not having to read about Edward Sparklepire's perfection on every page. Plus, since I skipped all emo Bella parts, I didn't have to watch how she throws an omg!can't!live!without!him party for herself.

Comments

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

The interesting thing about the first 2 books is that, even though I'm pretty sure its an accident caused by the obsessive need to give Every Single Detail Ever contrasted with the EVERYTHING IS NOTHING MY LIFE IS EMPTY creates (A) an almost depressingly well done portrayal of the utter tedium of being a teenager in a small town where your interests aren't shared by your limited social group (or just in general) and (B) one of the better portrayals of actual teen depression I've read, much as it annoys us that it's all about the boy leaving.

I actual kind of like Bella in a "If you were better written...in a better book...with a plot that didn't creep me out..." way. edward and Jacob can both rot though.

Of course, I'd still take 9.5 out of 10 actual romance novels over it anyday.

[celestialdescent]

OT, but I really love your icon. Did you make it?

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Yes. In something of a fit of pique.

It's share-able, if you wanted to use it.

[celestialdescent]

Thank you! It just states so well how I feel about the whole "Team Guy A or Team Guy B" issue I come across in different fandoms. I'll just save it for now since I don't have enough icon space.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I've seen the argument thst it's Team Boy a and Team Boy B and not team girl because there's an assumed default of Team Girl and that the Team Boy is meant to be in conjunction with Team Girl, yet her desires and choices are rarely a factor in discussions of B/G/B shipping and are frequently outright ignored. "Girl may say she feels this but really...' is a big one. I mean, look, if she says she loves one guy and isn't interested in a romantic relationship with the other, I'm willing to bet that, even if her feelings may change in the future, more likely than not she does have a decent grasp on her feelings and has made the choice she feels is the one that will be best for her.

like, I may STRONGLY QUESTION Bella's taste in men (and if I were going to ship her with someone, it'd be alice, TBH) but not only is Jacob no better than edward, bella REPEATEDLY makes her choice clear.

[celestialdescent]

I've seen the argument thst it's Team Boy a and Team Boy B and not team girl because there's an assumed default of Team Girl and that the Team Boy is meant to be in conjunction with Team Girl

I may have seen this too, but it doesn't hold water for me because whenever I see an "I'm Team ______" statement used, it's usually because said person is "hotter" (I've been guilty of this) or is "better with the girl." Nowhere in recent memory do I recall someone being on a guy's team because the girl likes the guy, and it's a shame. I may question the girl's choice, but it's her choice to make.

Now, I can't speak for the Twilight series (I only read through a chapter of the first book and got bored of it), but the example that comes to my mind is Avatar: The Last Airbender. I may not like that Katara is with Aang at the end (I'll save my rant on that for another day), but if that's who she chose in the end, then so be it. Plus, there's always fanfiction.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I have no interest in either Jacob or Edward as characters (leaving aside anything else, they are both very flat) but I prefer Edward with Bella simply because he is the one Bella wants (as per your icon, oddly enough - I will take a mutual thing over 'but he's hot and wants her' any day :P)

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Well, let's face it: the only person Bella has anything resembling a close and healthy relationship with is Alice.

Part of the flatness, I suspect, is that while Meyer is definitely influenced by a patriarchal mindset, the world exists almost entirely within the female gaze, and the POV of that gaze is a teenager.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, but there are plenty of novels with teen progatonists which do not render the rest of the world flat. SMeyer is almost painfully realistic with Bella (because, tbh, I can see a lot of teen girls being the way she is) but the rest are pretty much obstacles or wish-fulfillments.

[(Anonymous)]

from diorama:

Ahahaha! I should have actually watched the movie on fast-forward instead of slogging through the books(I don't know why I did that; maybe the forlorn hope that something interesting would pop up).

You're kind of right on about the Stephenie Meyer hate. Granted, she is not a great writer, but I actually don't see the books as harmful so much as hopelessly vapid. But my English professor once said that the biggest slice of publishing pie was romance novels. It's her retirement plan. Apparently her friend made a living on the same plot slightly costumed with each novel, lol.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yup. I've read romance novels which are worse-written and much more problematic on a feminist front and nobody cares.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I sort of love that SMeyer made millions off a book series which is basically about a teenage girl trying to get her boyfriend into bed. I think it's genius.

I don't get the hate either. The books are not good, but you could say the same for a range of other books which don't attract the loathing but are equally silly.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Seriously. It's genius. I could never turn one of my mushy dreams into loads of cash.

People overestimate influence of books. I spent my childhood reading constant stream of Communist literature in the USSR and yet I am not marching with a little red flag.

[kilerkki.livejournal.com]

My teenaged sister and I watched New Moon for Bad Movie Night a couple summers ago, and we laughed ourselves sick over most of it. Especially one of the Jacob/Bella bits, where we paused and rewound and fell off the couch laughing. (Bella falls off a motorbike and bumps her head; there is a trickle of blood. Jacob comes running, tears off his shirt, and dabs the whole bundle of cloth gently to the few drops of blood on the side of her head. Bella stares up at his abs and pecs and whispers dreamily, "You're beautiful." Rinse, repeat, DIE LAUGHING.)

[happahaole.livejournal.com]

hahaha the entire movie theater was in hysteria at that scene; the boys were cracking up and the girls were all swooning "jacob marry me~~~!!!"

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I confess to skipping all Jacob scenes because he bores me also underage, eeek.

[kilerkki.livejournal.com]

I don't blame you at all. (Though Edward bores me more than Jacob, but only 'cause I think werewolves are cooler than vampires. I also think Meyer's werewolves are a travesty, but...that's why Bad Movie Night!)

[singing-tree.livejournal.com]

I think the hate is purely coming from the fact that these books are so incredibly popular.. A lot of people love it, a lot of people will hate it. And the books just have a lot to make fun of. Meyer's obsession with fancy adjectives was hilarious.

I am definitely not a fan, but that's just me. I think Edward and Jacob are dull and I simply don't like a female protagonist whose only goal in life is her boyfriend and nothing else. But hey, it's a romance novel.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I mean, I don't think they are great and I certainly do not get the hordes of fans but I've read plenty of equally mediocre (or worse) stuff. Why not went some of that hate on Paolini, people?

[kycoo.livejournal.com]

Wow, emotion on Kristen Stewart's face! :O Also, that kiss looks really painful. >_o

I haven't watched (or read) New Moon, but after reading this I may just watch it for the lulz with my friends. We did that with the first movie, and it was great.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Well, occasionally even robots can get emo, right?

[vanimy.livejournal.com]

I was like everybody and their mother at first, I thought Twilight sucked. Then I had nothing better to do one afternoon and my little sister insisted on me watching it (for the LOLz). I did LOL a lot over the awkwardness in this movie (and the hairdos OMG) but I found myself loving the uber-melodramatic feel of the movie. I thought to myself 'hey, my 14-year-old self would've eaten this'. Well, my 14-year-old inner self kinda woke up and also loved the melodramatic feel of New Moon as well.

I think of Twilight as a guilty pleasure, it's like 'Dirty Dancing' to me. I love this movie to pieces, I know it by heart (my elder sister and I would watch it all the time and it's become an inside joke between us) and yet I LOL at so many lines every time I watch it because some scenes are completely ridiculous.

Well, I think Twilight makes me feel the same way.

I think as long as you realize how ridiculous and unrealistic some things are (you didn't mention the LOLz that was Alice's vision in New Moon about Edward and Bella running together in slow-mo, I. Died. Laughing. Along with the whole theater), loving Twilight for what it is isn't a bad thing.

Re : Bella as a role model. You're totally right, people do overestimate the power of TV shows/movies/books. When I was a little girl, I used to watch Dragon Ball, that manga about a bunch of guys fighting for magic balls, lol. I rewatched it recently and I realized that manga was quite violent for a little girl. Yet I didn't grow up to become a violent person as an adult (quite the contrary with my pacifist tendencies lol).

I loved Bella in the Twilight movie actually. She was just so... weird. A complete anti-heroine in a way. Emo, awkward, sarcastic, uncaring about what she looked like (her dislike of shopping to go straight to a book store was made of win). So I thought she fit with Edward who was the same way and TW their romance clicked. I don't care for Jacob, first because he's a complete douche like most of the time, second, because apart from his abs (which I don't even appreciate because he's like 15 eww), he's clearly a plot device to put an obstacle on the road to Edward for Bella.

So yeah I do appreciate the melodrama that is Twilight for what it is. Trashy romance novel put on screen and actual books. I also love the hints we had on some characters, Alice and Carlisle particularly.

My interest dwindled in the series ever since I heard of that awful last book and the Mary Sue-ish transformation of Bella and before that, this awful triangle in Eclipse. I started despising Bella's character for her attitude in Eclipse and it completely diminished the whole melodrama aspect of her epiiic love with Edward that I actually drew me in.

Speaking of love triangles and vampires (but well-done triangles this time) have you tried to watch 'The Vampire Diaries'? The first episodes are kinda boring but once you get over them the rest of the show is brilliant. It actually has a lot of things you like, bromances, dark complicated characters that get more or less redeemed (Damon and Stefan), romance (I ship like everyone with everyone on this show which never happens to me, usually I have one ship and stick with it), family relationships and a great heroine torn between two brothers. ;)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

I confess I was bored to death by TVD - I tried most of season 1. Also, Damon bugs me to no end...

But I am kinda allergic to vampires in general so I am not really the target audience :)

[vanimy.livejournal.com]

Oh didn't know you already tried TVD. Too bad you didn't like it, I would've enjoyed reading your thoughts. ;)

[lazypadawan.livejournal.com]

Haven't read the books but I watched the flicks. After the first one, I couldn't figure out why "Twilight" was so popular. To me it was a teen soap that just happened to have vampires and stuff in it; I couldn't understand the hardcore, deeply-felt devotion it inspired not only among young girls but 55-year-old grandmothers too. Then again, I used to watch "Beverly Hills 90210" or "Melrose Place" and would occasionally read the occasional bodice-ripper purely for the lulz. Ultimately, I watched "New Moon" and "Eclipse" for the lulz. If you don't take them seriously, they are pretty funny and Ashley Greene brings real charm to the movies. There are women and always have been women who take soaps and romance novels very seriously. I remember the mania over Luke and Laura's wedding on "General Hospital" back in 1981 and we're talking about a 'ship that began with Luke raping Laura! At least Edward didn't go that far.

I'm a little troubled by some of the "lessons" the story is unwittingly teaching its young audience but you're right, there's a lot worse out there. A whole lot worse. A lot of the people who bash "Twilight" are really mad that other people love it and that I don't understand. Who cares?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, pretty much. I don't get the huge fandom but whatever, I am sure there are plenty of people out there who think what I like is bizarre.

It's pretty much soap/romance novel for teens.

[happahaole.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you didn't comment on the hotness that is Taylor Laughter in New Moon. I'm a little disappointed w/ you...jk :)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

But I don't find him hot?

Also, much too young. If I started real early in high school, I could be his Mom, which - eeeeek. Isn't he 17?

[happahaole.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA oh...i guess it's the age gap...yea...im 17 so...:P

[happahaole.livejournal.com]

but taylor laughter is 19 so he's legal

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I am not so it would be way gross.

[happahaole.livejournal.com]

you realize im just joking right...with my comment that you should find Taylor Lautner hot...

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

LOL, yes, just explaining why he isn't my thing :P

[boycottbananas.livejournal.com]

I think that Twilight will forever be one of the most retarded things in the world. I'm pretty sure much of the hate that it and SM gets is because of crazy fans, though.

All that it's good for is shameless mocking when one is forced to watch it in the theater. I had so much fun making fun of Eclipse with my cousin, hahah. There's a particularly slashy (albeit manipulated) trailer for the third one, titled Brokeback Twilight, if you'd like to see! XD

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha that sounds glorious.

[kainee.livejournal.com]

I always lol without fail at the part where he first shows his sparkly skin. Really? Of all the things to angst about, it's your sparkliness? Really?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I knoooow. His life is tough.

[hanjae.livejournal.com]

LOLLL Twilight. It exists solely to be mocked and used as an example in English lit classes of everything one should avoid when writing a book. Frankly, it's disturbing how many legions of teenage girls think it's romantic that Bella's whole existence seems to revolve around a sparkly anemic. The whole "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM SO I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF FOR A CHANCE TO SEE HIM" part was just... LOL. SMeyer is basically an example of miracle marketing. I applaude the team behind her, I really do.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I don't particularly care for the books but I do think it's more than marketing. No series of books gets so big on marketing alone. They work, just like DaVinci Code (which I also dislike) because for some reason they appeal to a lot of people.

Btw, I went to the movies today and the trailer for Breaking Dawn was hilarious - but then it did have to sell a movie that had no plot.

[hanjae.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose you can say that SMeyer's fantasies reflected those of a lot of teenage girls? I had wondered at one point whether I'd have at least understood the appeal of Twilight just a tad more had I read it when I was about 13, but then I thought about all the TwiMoms that are diehard fans of Edward... and I decided probably not.

Ooh, I haven't seen the trailer for Breaking Dawn! I should go check it out. Any hint of how they're going to do the vampire-baby-eating-its-way-out-of-Bella scene?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

They are doing the childbirth so there is hope?

[hanjae.livejournal.com]

They couldn't possibly leave it out, because there's little enough to work with in the first place. :P They essentially have an elaborate wedding scene, the childbirth (and Jacob imprinting LOL) and then the final ~*~battle~*~... spread over 2 movies.

[village.livejournal.com]

I'd have at least understood the appeal of Twilight just a tad more had I read it when I was about 13

I laugh at Twilight. And while I think it's horrible I do think that had it come out when I was 11 or 12, I would probably have enjoyed it. It's pretty perfect in terms of that romantic emo trash that teenagers devour so I do get that appeal.