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dangermousieWatched some more Smallville last night. Do you know, if you ff through all the non-Lex parts, you could easily fit an episode into 10 minutes. DVDs are a great invention.
Seriously, at this point, I really hope Lex is into Clark, because that's about the only way his hanging around a high school so much is in any way tolerable, because otherwise, the only alternatives are:
a. he is really into kids which is rather pervy-yucky in a completely unsexy way unless you are in a Harry Potter fandom, and he should invest in a good trench-coat or
b. Despite the fact that he is in his mid-20s, intelligent, powerful, and busy, he is disturbed enough, immature enough, needy and regressed enough that the friendship of a 17 year old is the bestest, all-consuming thing in his life and the pinnacle of achievement. Which makes him one of those hideously sad people that are trapped in high school forever.
This "no, no, no they are straight. Like a pretzel" situation isn't helped by the fact that while Clark is astoundingly beautiful, he is not blessed with an overabundance of intelligence or a sparkling personality. Love object? Heck yeah. Valued friend? Well, not unless you don't mind your friends having a complexity of a clam strip. He does have a good taste in men though if those lingering glances are anything to go by.
The writers try to "remedy" the situation in one of the eps I saw by giving Lex an "escort" but their attempts at straightness are thwarted by the fact that Lex and said escort show up at a high school party (!!!) thrown by Clark where Lex arranges a whole boatload of fully professional fireworks just because he is so anxious that Clark's party be a success and where Clark looks briefly sick at spying Lex's date. The writers should just give up and admit that theirs is the gayest show in television (not that there is anything wrong with that).
Also, I never like smooshed ship names, but the ones in this fandom are the weirdest. Chlex makes me think of some kind of excercise devise while Clana sounds as if it involves a KKK member.
Also, because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aliterati and femmenerd asked, here are my Clark/Lex fanfic recs, from my admittedly brief and shiny new acquaintance with the fandom. I have no idea how close to canon they are (nor do I care much), but they are very good as stories.
Lex Luthor and the Edge of Reason: the diary of a millionaire singleton: One of the funniest things I've read all month. Sample: Poor Clark. He found out his childhood hero was arsehole. But luckily was there to comfort him. Was even able to give him big brother style inspirational speech about heroes and told him some bible story that I remembered from prep school. He looked impressed that I had remembered it all. Hurrah! Though sometimes think Clark is not intellectual equal of self. But doesn’t matter because he has bottom like two eggs in a hanky.
Yellow Means Slow: angst. Angst. Aaaaangst. Have I mentioned angst? Because? Angst. Seriously. It's an amazing story but you have been warned. Angst.
Divergence: I'd love any story that had excessive quoting from the Jabberwocky, but this is a very good story in its own right and has lovely, lovely h/c which is a kink of mine.
Marble: it's twisty and clever and fun. Yeah, Clark suddenly acquired brains, but I can overlook that in a story this good :P
An Englishman in Smallville: this is an addictive, irresistable, wonderful crack!fic that is a Buffy/Smallville cross-over. We have Buffy contemplating whether to try to turn Clark hetero and decide it's not worth the bother, have Lex hit on both Willow and Xander and the whole thing is just to die for, anyway.
Yellow: Lex as President? Evil aliens? Lana that doesn't make me want to kill her? Mmmmm....gooooood. Oh yeah, Clark/Lex loveliness. Duh.
DysFUNctional: Basically, most stories on the site.
No Angel Came: this is more Lex than Clark/Lex but I thought it was beautifully written.
Seriously, at this point, I really hope Lex is into Clark, because that's about the only way his hanging around a high school so much is in any way tolerable, because otherwise, the only alternatives are:
a. he is really into kids which is rather pervy-yucky in a completely unsexy way unless you are in a Harry Potter fandom, and he should invest in a good trench-coat or
b. Despite the fact that he is in his mid-20s, intelligent, powerful, and busy, he is disturbed enough, immature enough, needy and regressed enough that the friendship of a 17 year old is the bestest, all-consuming thing in his life and the pinnacle of achievement. Which makes him one of those hideously sad people that are trapped in high school forever.
This "no, no, no they are straight. Like a pretzel" situation isn't helped by the fact that while Clark is astoundingly beautiful, he is not blessed with an overabundance of intelligence or a sparkling personality. Love object? Heck yeah. Valued friend? Well, not unless you don't mind your friends having a complexity of a clam strip. He does have a good taste in men though if those lingering glances are anything to go by.
The writers try to "remedy" the situation in one of the eps I saw by giving Lex an "escort" but their attempts at straightness are thwarted by the fact that Lex and said escort show up at a high school party (!!!) thrown by Clark where Lex arranges a whole boatload of fully professional fireworks just because he is so anxious that Clark's party be a success and where Clark looks briefly sick at spying Lex's date. The writers should just give up and admit that theirs is the gayest show in television (not that there is anything wrong with that).
Also, I never like smooshed ship names, but the ones in this fandom are the weirdest. Chlex makes me think of some kind of excercise devise while Clana sounds as if it involves a KKK member.
Also, because
aliterati and femmenerd asked, here are my Clark/Lex fanfic recs, from my admittedly brief and shiny new acquaintance with the fandom. I have no idea how close to canon they are (nor do I care much), but they are very good as stories. Lex Luthor and the Edge of Reason: the diary of a millionaire singleton: One of the funniest things I've read all month. Sample: Poor Clark. He found out his childhood hero was arsehole. But luckily was there to comfort him. Was even able to give him big brother style inspirational speech about heroes and told him some bible story that I remembered from prep school. He looked impressed that I had remembered it all. Hurrah! Though sometimes think Clark is not intellectual equal of self. But doesn’t matter because he has bottom like two eggs in a hanky.
Yellow Means Slow: angst. Angst. Aaaaangst. Have I mentioned angst? Because? Angst. Seriously. It's an amazing story but you have been warned. Angst.
Divergence: I'd love any story that had excessive quoting from the Jabberwocky, but this is a very good story in its own right and has lovely, lovely h/c which is a kink of mine.
Marble: it's twisty and clever and fun. Yeah, Clark suddenly acquired brains, but I can overlook that in a story this good :P
An Englishman in Smallville: this is an addictive, irresistable, wonderful crack!fic that is a Buffy/Smallville cross-over. We have Buffy contemplating whether to try to turn Clark hetero and decide it's not worth the bother, have Lex hit on both Willow and Xander and the whole thing is just to die for, anyway.
Yellow: Lex as President? Evil aliens? Lana that doesn't make me want to kill her? Mmmmm....gooooood. Oh yeah, Clark/Lex loveliness. Duh.
DysFUNctional: Basically, most stories on the site.
No Angel Came: this is more Lex than Clark/Lex but I thought it was beautifully written.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 07:37 pm (UTC)*points*
EXACTLY!
This is the basis for the entire problem. There is nothing about Clark for Lex to really be drawn to him other than the Abercrombie looks. Lex is smart and I don't see him being drawn to the world's most vanilla high schooler in the world just because. Vanilla is tasty, but I'm not going to hang out with it on weekends. It doesn't help that Clark is constantly giving Lex puppy eyes.
Lex and said escort show up at a high school party (!!!) thrown by Clark where Lex arranges a whole boatload of fully professional fireworks just because he is so anxious that Clark's party be a success and where Clark looks briefly sick at spying Lex's date.
I think that right there is how several bad slashfics start in several different fandoms. The writers just need to give up.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 07:49 pm (UTC)Exactly. Basically, unless the interest is sexual, there is no basis for Lex to be so into Clark (oooh, puns. I slay me. Not). Clark is just not an interesting person. Heck, I am not even interested in watching him for an hour without a ff button.
The writers just need to give up.
Oh yes. They are definitely the Ambiguously Gay duo, except for the ambiguously part.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:41 pm (UTC)quick, throw JAckles in there to confuse the fangirls sort of like a rodeo clown
I nearly choked.
This is utterly hilarious and probably how it went. Of course, the problem is that by that point it was way too little way too late.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 07:50 pm (UTC)Oh, yes! I mean really, why would Lex Luthor, intelligent and confident multi-millionnaire want to hang out with a slightly personality-deficient teenager if not to take advantage of that oh so fuckable mouth?
I really need to watch season 1 again. Your posts over the past few days have made me remember the joy I once had watching this show.
Also, I never like smooshed ship names, but the ones in this fandom are the weirdest.
Unfortunately, we have to smoosh the names together because otherwise all the ships of note would be C/L and that'd just be too confusing!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 07:53 pm (UTC)Oh, most definitely. I don't really think Lex wants to exchange friendship bracelets. Now, kissing in the back of the Kents' barn is another matter...
I mean, he is absolutely fixated on Clark (he goes into a hostage situation to basically get Clark out, and with no plan for getting out himself. Yeah. He's definitely impartial. Uh-huh), and there is nothing fix-worthy in Clark except for his astounding fuck-buddy potential.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:25 pm (UTC)You do know that Lex actually becomes president? At least in comic verse.
It was a storyline in the comics like a year or two ago.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:40 pm (UTC)Also, he's going to be the first bald president since Ike.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-13 08:39 pm (UTC)