Pride & Prejudice with Pirates

[dangermousie]

The best review/bash of the new atrocity that is Keira Knightley's P&P is to be found

here

The author starts with her dashed hopes that P&P would have made a great pirate story (don't ask) and only improves from there:

Sample wonderfulness (read the comments, too):

these enjoyable musings were spoilt by the arrival of a pair of ominously unsmutched Bingleys toting Comeback Special Elvis a Darcy about whom it must universally be acknowledged that he is not, and is unlikely to ever turn into, Colin Firth. How can such a thing be? Women all over the world are desperately trying to understand.

Pride and Prejudice lacks an inner rhythm or tension or drive of its own. It is a compilation of Greatest Hit scenes from the novel, each scene cut down as much as those responsible thought they could get away with, and strung passively together.

D’ye comprehend how thoroughly Mr Collins must be eviscerated in order to un-funny him and remodel him as a psychokiller / stalker type person? Or how much behind-the-scenes work must go into first boring Judi Dench into a cataleptic trance then training her up to be Lady Catherine de Bourgh, only boring?

If they only had listened to me. In my counterfactual version Elizabeth would have married the genteel, courtly, reserved Friedrich Nietszche in the last chapter, living happily ever after much to everyone’s surprise, and permanently changing the world of philosophy too.

Comments

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

*cries*
But Mr. Collins his hilarious! Lady Catherine de Bourgh is selfish, bitchy, and deviod of decent human emtion, but not boring. Never boring.
*wails*

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

In the book, I mean.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Just thinking of this movie makes me RAGE

[strippedpink.livejournal.com]

I haven't read your entry yet, but I just had to come and rant because I'm so absolutely certain that Keira Knightley is going to fuck my movie up.

ARGH!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am sure she will. I am staying away from it because I don't want to have a coronary in the theater.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I am a sucker for Jane Austen adaptations. However, this Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightly, an actress with all the acting ability and charisma of a boiled potato, and displaying a Mr Darcy with hair that resembles a hollowed out ferret repels me. Begone foul minion, I say!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

an actress with all the acting ability and charisma of a boiled potato, and displaying a Mr Darcy with hair that resembles a hollowed out ferret

I think I want your internet babies...