"What do you say to a naked Elf?"

[dangermousie]

Unfortuntely, I'd have to say "sorry, I am married." :D

I think I have just stumbled over the most bizarre book ever. It is so bizarre that I MUST check it out. It's written by "Sterling, Cheryl" and I offer as my proof the title: "What Do You Say to a Naked Elf?"

*dies*
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*dies again*

This is the summary:

Apart from her being a TV-and-movie junkie and a saleswoman extraordinaire of adult lotions, potions and playthings, plain Jane Drysdale's life was nothing unusual. That was, until a moment of reckless driving catapulted her into a fairytale world like a J.R.R. Tolkien book on crack. From Walker, Michigan, to a place of wacko wizards, sexually repressed elves and dangerous dwarves, Jane was suddenly fulfilling an epic destiny that held certain death -- and even more certain love. Even the newly legible tattoo on her shoulder seemed to proclaim the rightness of her transport: "Forever joined, heart upon heart, world upon world." Everything started with Jane on trial for her life and her Legolas-lookalike lawyer taking his shirt off, and the first thing she needed to know was -- What Do You Say to a Naked Elf?

Alas, I don't think Legolas in the movie looked old enough to be a lawyer but what a yummy, hilarious thought!

Comments

[maddeinin.livejournal.com]

o.O

::dies also::

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Exactly....:P

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

LMAO.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

If lawyers looked like Legolas does in your icon, the law school attendance would certainly skyrocket!

[katranna.livejournal.com]

Personally, that sounds like a bad ff.net fic. :-P

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

It does. And therein lies its "glory"

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

...I don't even want to know.

Except I kind of totally do

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am in the middle of reading it, and unfortunately it's more Renfair than LOTR :D

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

Goshdarn. What's really sad is that I was actually following the logic and thinking "well, it could happen".

[ancarett]

Ah, the glorious world of vanity publishing, I presume!

[neadods.livejournal.com]

No, it's a legit publisher - I have that one too, in my To Be Read stack. Looks like a hoot and a half.

[ancarett]

Whoa. I have so got to get around to submitting my novel to a publisher if this is what can actually get printed these days. . . .

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, the book itself, while not really bad, is not as off-the-wall (bad or good) as the summary. *sigh*

I so want to read a Legolas fanfic, only in print!

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Supernatural Chick Lit (I think the official term is "paranormal romance") is really hot right now.

[morwen_peredhil]

*boggle*

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

ROFL!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Surely what you would say would totally depend on who the naked elf was? If Legolaslike my answer would be 'where's the bedroom'? If less comely then I think throwing something and running for your life would be the appropiate reaction.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, a Will Ferrell elf is not attractive...

[ysrith.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, not you too!

One of my friends found this in Borders recently, intrigued by the title, and then gave it to me. I ended up stuck waiting for a plane and it was the only thing left to read.

It is awful!

It is so bad. I think the author was aiming for funny, but failed badly. funny. Mary-Sue main character, bad cliches, and the most annoying ending I have read for ages. Nearly as bad as the terrible Julia Quinn hysterical epic she lent.

I was so traumatised by reading those two in a row, I started back on gory serial killer thrillers.

I need to stay away from the bad romance fic, it fries my brain.
OTOH, then when I do go back to my nice proper fantasy epics, it makes me appreciate the good writing.

I have just donated both of them to Ofxam. Something good shall come of them yet!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, I started it and it's dreadful. I will most likely finish it one of these days (I tend to finish books even if they are awful) but I ended up reading Rupert Brooke's letters and John Gilbert biography yesterday: and good Lord, how much better were those!

[spacedwriter.livejournal.com]

Are you sure you didn't just steal a summary for a Mary Sue badfic from FFN?

Is that the actual summary off of the book? J.R.R. Tolkein on crack? I would die laughing if I ever found that in a bookstore!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yup, it's an actual summary of a book someone paid $$$ to publish!

[spacedwriter.livejournal.com]

OMFG.

/dies of laughter/

And they didn't get sued for that description? LOL.