Humraaz

[dangermousie]

Last night, I decided to watch Humraaz, bought on sale and on an impulse.It stars Amisha Patel, Bobby Deol, and Akshaye Khanna.

The plot: Amisha and Akshaye are dancers and a couple. Amisha attracts the rich Bobby who marries her. But in reality, she only married him for his money at the urging of Akshaye. So Bobby decides to hires someone to kill her. Etc.

Some pictures:
Ugly clothes are universal, A most unappealing sandwich, Amisha shows her…flexibility

And now on to my review:

OK, you know how Devdas is so visually stunning? Or Karam is so full of beautiful people, or Swades so intelligent and incisive? Remember the really likeable characters of Kal Ho Na Ho or the intensity of Tere Naam?

Good, because you won’t find any of this here. What a mess. Top 5 things that amused/annoyed me.

1. Akshaye Khanna as a professional dancer? Is that some sort of a sick joke? The man can act quite well, but has to be one of the worst dancers in Bollywood. His best move is standing stock still as a female lead dancers around him.

2. Bobby Deol. Let me stop right there, as no more needs to be said. I like Dharmendra and adore Hema Malini, but surely they ought to be punished for inflicting Bobby and Esha upon us (I like Sunny OK). The man has the charm of Amrish Puri in Koyla (hint: he was the bad guy who couldn’t get it up) and the acting talent of a really bad stick of wood. Not to forget the looks of Arjun Rampal. Arjun Rampal who’s been beaten to a pulp with the ugly stick, that is.

3. Amisha Patel. I like her, I really do. She was wonderful in Gadar. But really, as a femme fatale who would make a millionaire fall in love with her at first sight? Not really. Aishwarya Rai? Yes. Bipasha Basu? Yes. Amisha Patel? Not really.

4. The final fight scene. Akshaye “the evil” Khanna keeps going and going and going. He gets shot, impaled and hung and it’s still not enough. Well, what can I say, he earned his paycheck that day.

5. Amisha decides to stick with her husband, who hired someone to bump her off, at the end. Granted, both the boyfriend and the husband are psychos, but at least Akshaye didn’t try to have her gunned down. She is supposed to have fallen in love with him. Why? I can buy being won over by someone’s charisma and passion, but it’s Bobby Deol we are taking about here, not Hrithik Roshan. There ain’t nothin’ in Bobby to make a girl change her mind. If I were her, I’d ditch them both and run off to look for Shahrukh Khan.

Comments

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I can buy being won over by someone’s charisma and passion, but it’s Bobby Deol we are taking about here, not Hrithik Roshan.

Poor Bobby Deol! I think the answer is the same as why Aishwarya Rai picked the rather unattractive Martin Henderson (OMG the feathered hair!) over whoever played Wickham in Bride and Prejudice - the money. (I just rewatched that film with some friends last night and no one found Darcy at all attractive.) She may say it's love, but I bet she's seen the size of his, ahem, wallet. Or she's planning on killing him later.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

LOL. I actually thought Martin did OK (I heard such horrible things about him, that I had basement-floor expectations), but I found myself longing for Salman or SRK quite badly.

As to Bobby? *shudder* Amisha should totally have let Akshaye kill him.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Henderson...I guess he must have come cheap; he's a good villian but no Mr. Darcy. They should have just got the money and cast Colin Firth. In fact, I am convinced no one else should be able to play Darcy again for the next 15 years.

I'm going with Amisha being really cunning and killing Bobby post ending and being all triumphant because she doesn't have to share the loot with Akshaye.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes! I clamor for Humraaz II.

And so agree on Colin Firth!!!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Humraaz II: In the aftermath of his cousin's sudden and suspicious death, Shahrukh Khan comes looking for revenge. Colin Firth appears as a repressed Englishman entangled in someone or other's coils and is rescued by Shahrukh Khan and Amisha (who has confessed all but no one cares because it's Bobby Deol). And they all live happily ever after.

And I am very unimpressed by the trailers I've seen for the new P&P with Kiera Knightly and hideous new Mr. Darcy. Kiera looks like she's wearing potato sacks and is all whiny and pining after Darcy even when she should hate him. Ugh.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

While investigating Bobby's murder, Shahrukh can't help but be drawn to Amisha's beautiful best friend, Kajol. She hates him on sight, because he is suspicious of her best friend, but when he saves her from the evil thugs sent out by Om Puri, her resistance melts. Unfortunately, evil Amisha wants him for herself. Colin Firth (who is pining for married Bipasha Basu, though he willl not acknowledge it to himself), finds out about Amisha's plans but is it too late? What Humraaz II: The revenge of the Amisha, to find out.

The new P&P looks beyond awful.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

But in a surprise twist it turns out that Kajol is in fact in league with Om Puri and Mithun (whom Bipasha married only to save her aged mother from being turned out of their house, which he owned) and is blackmailing her so-called best friend, Amisha.

In the climatic scene Sharukh dispatches Om Puri and Mithun while Colin Firth saves Bipasha and Amisha from being poisoned by Kajol. Bipasha admits she loves him but says she will not marry again; Amisha has no such issues and her and Sharukh sail off into the sunset. A dejected Colin returns to England to mend his broken heart.

All of this is setting us up for Humraaz III, which has an even more convoluted plot.

[callmecaito.livejournal.com]

You've sold me a ticket. When does it release?

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

On the flight from London to Nairobi, one of the channels was showing a Bollywood film, and I totally thought of your lj. Unfortunately, Kingdom of Heaven was on as well and that won over. It was really not a plane movie though, and had no idea what was going on. I would only pay attention when there was dialogue or sudden movements, so to me it went from Orlando Bloom getting his blacksmith on to him making out with a princess. No connection there.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

ROFL! See, should have stuck with bollywood :)

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

Alas, the folly of my youth.
Still, from the plot summaries of various Bollywood movies that you post, I probably wouldn't have understood those either.

[callmecaito.livejournal.com]

In Hema's defense, I don't think she had anything to do with the making of Bobby and Sunny. I'm pretty sure they're the offspring of Dharmendra's first wife.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, but she is still responsible for the evil that is Esha :)

[thelana.livejournal.com]

Ar, I just argued that it's the same reason why they so often pick the ugly guy in BW movies. Because once you have completed the marriage ceremony it's suddenly the!awesome!holy!commitment and of course you have to immediately have to love your husband, because marriage is always fate even if you were tricked, pushed or otherwise mangled into it and even if he is, lets say, Jackie Shroff



But yeah, this movie was:
a) rather fun a a mystery
b) I got deep amusement out of the scene where Amisha dupes Bobby into not having sex with her even though they are married
c) the scene where Bobby cheerfully listens to Amisha's death screams (hey, one can hope, right?) while in the elevator.

Considering my dislike for Amisha, darn, that was a thing of beauty.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Heeee. The russian title for the flick you posted above is "And so love has arrived." With Jackie Shroff? Only if by "love" they mean "blind panic and a desire to run away." That's why the heroes are always so adamant about stopping the wedding. Once it happens, they know there's nothing they can do...

[wasabi-girl1.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I liked this movie enough. It had a cool twist and there was tons of Akshaye Khanna, who I think rocks! And he did such a good job as a villain!

It wasn't a great movie, but it was better than a lot of movies I've seen.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Well, it's better than YLJK and such but still... :)

[wasabi-girl1.livejournal.com]

Lol, ok it's better than most of the movies I've seen.

[rajni.livejournal.com]

LOL I actually liked it. I know, WTF moment.