Roswell: rip my heart to shreds and make me love it

[dangermousie]

OK, you know how I said when I first started watching Roswell that I wanted more angst? Well, be careful what you wish for.

Here is Dangermousie. Here is Dangermousie watching the Finale multi-parter. Here is Dangermousie bawling her eyes out at 2:15 am on her rickety sofa.

Guuuuuh. What with torture (I am a whore for hurt/comfort but that was really pushing my "ouchie" buttons, quite badly), the plot revelations (we learn about M/M/I's powers and background) and the exquisite Max/Liz (and Michael/Maria) angst. Oh God.

This is not going to be in any semblance of order.



Max is having a week from hell. It starts out nicely enough, what with the necking and the googlying with Liz and all that, but it all goes exponentially downhill from there. The whole he is literally drawn to Tess and can't help it and ends up kissing her even though he doesn't want to (and of course Liz sees) is pretty high on the angst-o-meter (and I have issues with taking away someone's free will a la Tess (hi, Grayza's little apprentice!) but that's another matter). But the scene moments before it where he finds Liz and reassures her that he loves only her and that she is his destiny and all he sees is her....guuuuuh. Going on my all time favorite romantic scenes list.

I love Liz. I really really do. She is the quintessential nice girl, but she is strong and, most importantly, she is understanding. She does not give up on Max despite the evidence, but loves him enough to be willing to believe him. And later does everything and risks her life to save him, but that is for later.

Of course, Max goes to Tess's house because he thinks Liz is in danger and when told he might get caught he says he doesn't care, which will lead to awfulness later.

And I love it that Max, the soft-spoken, cautious, studiedly laid-back Max loses it more and more as the eps progress. The whole scene where he thinks Tess is Nacedo and is yelling at her and throwing her to the ground? I have issues because I find hot men hotter when they have that edge. Tess (whose special power seems to be the Space Ho one) keeps insisting Max and Tess are destiny but of course Max sticks to his guns. Good for him. He is very quiet, but I don't think there's any way to convince him once he'd decided something. And then his week from hell gets spectacularly worse when Nacedo shifts into Max and kidnaps Liz to get Pierce on his trail (Btw, love that Liz has some sort of special power now too. When she kisses someone she can see into them). And even though Max knows all about Pierce, and the fact that Pierce wants Max and all that jazz, he doesn't care. He goes after Liz anyway.

And that is of course the problem. Liz is Max's weakness. He will do anything for her, including die, and while Nacedo doesn't realize it at first, the dread FBI alien hunter Pierce does. And Pierce gets his mitts on Max at last, and I love the last frame of the 20th ep: Max in a completely white room, freaking out and crumpling to the ground in despair. Argh.

And then we get to the last two eps of the season which totally tore my heart out and stomped on it and left it in little pieces and made me love every bit.

OK, first off? The torture. I am all about h/c, but the level here was making me horribly uncomfortable (in a good way, the way Farscape torture does). I wanted Pierce dead, now. Maybe it's because it involved a lot of needles and dizziness inducing meds. Or the whole "cut you open while you watch." Or the fact that Max is clearly terrified, and alien or not, he is just a 17 year old kid. He is Max, the sweet quiet guy who wouldn't hurt anyone, and who doesn't know answers to most of what Pierce is asking anyway. And that whole manner Pierce had, which was really close and soothing and "just us buddies, torturer and victim here" was just freaking me out beyond belief (and I love how Max uses Pierce's script when he gets him at the UFO museum. I love both the fact that he doesn't torture Pierce and that he looks like he wants to).

And of course, Pierce did break Max, at least temporarily. That whole thing with the visor where he shows Max the images of all his friends and the last image is of Liz, shot and dead which makes Max just scream is horrible. And of course the whole "you have 10 seconds to decide whether to tell me where communicators are or I'll kill one of your friends. No wait, I'll kill Liz Parker" is just...sharpens knife for Pierce. And of course Max tells him.

And then of course everyone rescues Max, including Sheriff Valenti, who I am beginning to totally love and Max and Liz end up in the car by themselves and the FBI chases them and when they just stand on that bridge and look at each other and kiss and jump...OK, it's not me crying, it's something in my eye.

I love it that Liz does end up taking care of him, because Max is still pretty hurt. And of course when she kisses him and sees everything that's happened to him and just can't bear it. *hugs poor star-crossed lovers* And she feels that it's all her fault and wishes she could go back in time and stop Max from healing her because it was then his life ended, and he just looks at her and says that it was when his life began, and the only thing that kept him alive through all the torture was the thought of Liz, her eyes and her skin, and wanting to see her again. And that whether he will die in 50 years or tomorrow, there is nothing for him but Liz. That sobbing you hear? Just something stuck in my throat, people.

And even at the end, at the cave with Nacedo, Max refuses to budge about Liz when Nacedo says she doesn't belong. Of course, at the very end of the ep, when the 4 aliens get the communicators to work and get the message from Max & Isabel's mother and it turns out they are reborn leaders of their planet and Tess is Max's bride. Oh My God. Has the creator of this show been hanging out with Joss Whedon? Because...you know...And then Liz realizes she never belonged and she starts walking off and Max can't believe it and says that she is everything to him but she kisses him goodbye and leaves and he runs after her but Michael holds him back and he just stares as she runs away crying...OK, I confess, I am weeping like a baby.

I love Liz. I know I said it earlier, but I really do. She goes to Sheriff Valenti. If it wasn't for her, the rescue plan would have failed and Max would have been very tortured to death. And she is warm and loving and sweet and she believes in Max and in her heart. Which is so refreshing. And she hurts so badly. The scene where she is completely falling apart because Max has been taken (and goes and hugs Michael in part I think because he needs comfort and because he offers it)...sniffle. Tess (whose sweeter than sugar attitude and superiority complex annoys the heck out of me) might think that Maria/Liz/Alex are only a liability but she is proven wrong. And the girl has got to have issues, considering she spent half a day with a serial killer who took on Max's shape but she just deals and deals and deals. Max really is lucky.

Interesting note about Max's healing power btw, it seems to really drain him (but then of course he was pretty weak at the time anyway).

OK, now on to the other angst-o-rama of the show. Michael and Maria. It starts rather cute, from the matter of fact way he just folds her close when she is freaking out about the alien hunter, to the way he kisses her on the forehead when she apologizes for her outburst, to the fact that even though he has no interest in datey stuff, he wants to do it right and actually asks Max for advice because he just wants to make Maria happy. And of course the double date with Max and Liz goes disastrously wrong. I LOLed when Max gave Liz a prettily wrapped bubblebath scent and Michael gave Maria a brown paper bagged generic shampoo and conditioner. Bless his heart, he's trying.

And of course, he tries to tell her how he feels and protect her when he goes to meet with Topolski and she insists on coming with him and trying to protect him and once again, awwwww.

Of course, then we get the bizarre Michael/Isabel dreams which feel rather incestuous and make me want to wipe the slime off my skin (the wrongness being equalled only by Tess/Max dream smoochage) and Isabel's freak out about being pregnant from dreaming. Ewww. And Maria overhearing and Michael and Maria having a fight but of course when Michael goes to save Max, it doesn't matter any more. I love when Liz says "bring him back to me" and Maria comes up to him and says "come back to me" and they just look at each other and you know that I don't think Michael ever mattered to anyone outside of Isabel and Max before and it's really getting to him and they just stare...

And of course, when they are all hiding, and Isabel and Michael say they will have to run but the non-aliens should go back to their lives, and Maria is the first one to say she is coming with them, as she walks straight up to Michael and just stands by him.

So far, so good, right? Wrong. Michael discovers what his power is. And it is death and destruction. It is freaking him out, which is probably not helped by the fact that he can't really control it and that he is probably thinking he is like Nacedo. When he tells Max that "you heal people and I hurt them. You are the good one and I am the bad one" my heart just breaks.

And then he tells Maria he can't be with her because he doesn't want anything to happen to her, because just look at his powers and she tells him she doesn't care and why are they different from Max and Liz and he tells her it's because he loves her too much and walks away. Guuuuh. He told her he loved her for the very first time, and then walked away. Guuuuuh.

Basically, my heart is in about 11 different pieces now and I feel like rewatching and crying and crying some more.

Comments

[thelana.livejournal.com]

I hated the Isabelle/Michael dream. It was sooo icky. I normally like it when pairings are broken up and I'm known to always root for the pairing your are not supposed to root for. But that was too icky even for me.

I think that was the point where I started to seriously dislike Isabelle, before that I was just indifferent (she does have some good moments in season 2 though, when more bad guys come). I'm so glad that they ended the Michael/Isabelle tease rather quickly.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, that was just...incest! I know they are not related, but it didn't feel any different than if it was Isabel and Max.

I don't dislike Isabel, but she just doesn't interest me. Granted, she is not a hot angsty guy, but I love Liz and Maria, so that can't be it. I am just indiferent. Ditto for the Alex/Isabel ship. Maybe because I know how it ends, or maybe because he is sweet but does nothing for me.

Oooh, found it interesting that Max flipped out way more about the Tess thing than Michael and Isabel did about theirs (they freak but not nearly as much). I think it's only partly because Max is so afraid of screwing it up with Liz (Michael and Isabel dream, he does things in reality), but it's also because Max is all about control and he can't control himself any longer and that just flips him out so badly.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

When/if you feel like reading fic, I'd like to recommend Mala's fic. She was on lj as malisita, and I know she has a new journal but I can't remember what it is.

[thelana.livejournal.com]

I always thought that fanforum used to be unofficial headquarters back when Roswell was still airing. So if you are looking for fic or fanart, that might be a good place to ask around.

Roswell fans were crazy though. Like a miniature version of Harry Potter fans. they would ship everybody with everybody and they had cutesy names for all pairings. Max/Liz were Dreamers, Tess/Max were Rebel Alliance, Tess/Liz were Catfighters, Liz/Michael were Polarshippers. Crazy stuff.

Anyway, I ran across this Link List and according to this Mala has an archive here.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

The cutesy names were so much better though! None of this 'Snaco' and weird stuff like that. My favourite was 'Lamp Trimmers' for Tess/Kyle.

I agree about the miniature version of HP fans theory. It was totally crazy, probably about 2000 or so. Very wanktastic.

The big places I remember were the Crashdown and Roswell Underground (omg Roswell Underground, source of Roswell Elementry which was the source of such great fanwank as people protested to the entire idea of it), but most of the things going on took place on mailing lists.

[thelana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, most of those mushed together fic names sound horrible (Snarry? Heron? Spuffy?), but with them at least you usually have a vague idea who on earth people are talking about.

I was never really involved with the Roswell fandom and I haven't read a lot of fic either. BUT I once met a very devoted Dreamersfan and she gave me a lowdown of all the fun conspiracy theories (most of them based on the idea that KHo (alias Katherine Heigel alias Isabel) was responsible for all the evil that ever happened on Roswell because she dated the guy who played Max).

Hey, can't say that I didn't have a lot of fun!

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

OMG, my favourite thing about Roswell fandom was that Brendan Fehr and Majandra Delfino were an actual real life couple for years (they played Maria and Michael) and that made me SO HAPPY.

Also, Majandra Delfino is the most beautiful woman in the whole world.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

Hilariously, Fehr says that she hated him when they first met and he went out of his way to annoy her because he knew she didn't like him. She seemed to get over that eventually. Fehr actually seems like a really nice guy.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

OMG it's like they're Michael and Maria come to life and I totally can't stop grinning.

I loved Roswell. It remains my favourite fandom.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

LOL. That is completely cute.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

She admits the same thing because she thought he was a complete dork and homebody and he annoyed her. I find that whole dynamic hilarious.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

KHo (alias Katherine Heigel alias Isabel) was responsible for all the evil that ever happened on Roswell because she dated the guy who played Max).

ROFL. OK, yes they do sound like HP fans.

Btw, HP fans do have cutesy names for the ships too, and it drives me crazy because I can't figure half of them out (Orange Crush is Harry/Ginny, Pumpkin Pie is Harry/Hermione etc etc).

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Roswell Elementary?

Is it like the Muppets kids thing? Or Sweet Valley Teens? *is scared*

7 Year old Max: I wuv you
7 year old Liz: Ewww. Boys have cooties.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Thanks for the link.

I hate cutesly ship names (HP has them too. It's not just "Snarry").

Like a miniature version of Harry Potter fans.

Now, that's a VERY scary thought.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I went to her site, but most of her pairings and concepts just didn't work for me. Well written and all, but just not my thing.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

Didn't I tell you that they Michael getting his powers part is like a stab in the gut? The irony is that Michael is probably potentially more powerful than Max is, but he doesn't WANT that power. He doesn't WANT to hurt people, but that's what he does. It's just another reason for him to feel inferior to Max and another, very valid reason to push people away. Now it's not just that he can be hurt by them, now he can hurt them and doesn't even know how. Michael can't get a break.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yup, and it's that whole "be careful what you wish for" motif.

You know how M/M/I always wanted to know more about themselves and their powers. Well, they find out and it devastates Max (because of Liz) and it devastates Michael (because of what his powers are).

And Maria kept wishing for them to be more like Max/Liz and for Michael to be more romantic? Well, she got it. That bit where he leaves her to protect her? That's incredibly romantic and very star crossed and it breaks her heart.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Michael is a white knight, albeit in rather tarnished armor, but a white knight all the same. I personally find his romantic gesture one of the best simply because it's so out of character for him and you can tell he tried so incredibly hard. And he obviously has been paying attention whether he expressed that until then or not.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

he obviously has been paying attention whether he expressed that until then or not

Yes, indeed. I really loved how he actually went asking Max for advice about how to treat girls re: what they like, and Max asked him what he wanted and Michael replied that he just wanted to make Maria happy. Which is a huge sweet thing to say.

a white knight all the same

Yes. I love how he just jumps to rescue Max. And of course, his spending that time with Nacedo wasn't super good for him: he is horrified when Nacedo kills that agent. He might have a tough act, but he is just a kid, really.

And he freaks out even about disabling the agents' car but when he kills Pierce, he is just falling apart. Because he has no idea how he did it except that he wanted him dead. And now here he is dead, and Michael has just killed someone and who knows when he'll feel really mad again or when it will all kick in.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

I think Maria doesn't always realize what a diamond in the rough she has, probably because she first doesn't get to see him when he's doing things like asking Max for advice and secondly because in ways I'm not sure if she thinks she deserves that. Maria has issues too. It's nice to see that her patience with Michael does pay off and that she really couldn't ask for a better guy. A more romantic guy, sure, but Michael honestly has her best interests at heart and is the type that would go down fighting for her, which you can't say about a lot of guys.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Maria has abandonment issues, I think, because of her father, and that made her reluctant to demand or expect too much.

And it's so realistic to want a guy to make romantic gestures and say sweet things. But of course, it is better to have one who just loves you and will take care of you. I think she envies Max and Liz sometimes, but I think she wouldn't like to be in a relationship that is calm and serious. She likes the bickering and the teasing.

And if her SO drinks milk straight from a carton, well there are worse things.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

There are worse things, and I think she could break him of the worst of his habits, knowing Michael, though she's just got to pick her battles. He's never going to be turned into a Max, but he's just as good in his own way.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

And the thing is, I don't think she'd be happy with a Max. He is way too serious and intense for her, IMO. She is one of those girls who will love being adored and complimented for a month or two and then get really bored and go "whatever."

she could break him of the worst of his habits

Table manners. Heeee.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, to Maria, Michael's more subtle but just as heartfelt smaller gestures are probably more suited for long term. I think she likes someone to butt heads with and Michael is volatile enough that he's always going to find some way to be obstinate. He makes up for it though by being consistantly caring for Maria though.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Michael is volatile enough that he's always going to find some way to be obstinate

The scary thing is they remind me of a couple I am friends with. I would find all the arguing exhausting, but they seem to thrive on it.

He makes up for it though by being consistantly caring for Maria though.

And that's the important part.

You know, the alien designers really screwed up, if their goal was Tess/Max and Michael/Isabel. Because the two guys end up with Earth girls :)

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

The designers totally got it wrong because Tess and Isabel are completely wrong for Max and Michael. Michael and Isabel bicker far too much, and not in the cute way. And Tess is just way too trashy to ever appeal to Max.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Which makes you wonder about how they got along (supposedly) so well as their earlier incarnations.

Maybe the designers should have realized that just because people with the same DNA that the 4 have went together, doesn't mean these ones will. It's not as if twins fall in love with the same person (and the 4's DNA has even been modified, but that's another matter).

Even if Max never clapped eyes on Liz, Tess is about the last woman to appeal to him. He is quiet, and reserved, and serious and one heck of an idealist. Tess is pretty much white trash, without the charm. She is brass and coy and very pushy and not forthright, and Max really likes straightforwardness in people he loves. And he loves Liz because she is earnest and steady and very open and (yes, I know it's a loaded word) "pure." None of which Tess is. I really wonder how different the Max progenitor was (or Tess progenitor) to fall for each other.

That is why I want to have Liz fight for Max at the end of the Finale, not tell him it's his destiny and walk away. Come on, the boy survived severe torture for your sake. Fight for him. But I think it plays really majorly into the guilt she feels because everything horrible that's happened to him is her fault (she thinks).

And Michael and Isabel? She is all about icy aloofness and sphistication and Michael needs someone who will argue with him, but not in a mothering, smothering way Isabel would. And Isabel wants someone thoughful and gentle and not someone like Michael who lives with a foot in his mouth and is very volatile.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

There's also the fact that Isabel sort of inadvertantly betrayed them all when they got over thrown (poor Michael, he can't even win in his PAST life, LOL). Tess does make the comment that Max is so different from the past one that she doesn't understand. About the only thing that is the same with them is the DNA, the fact that Max is still the leader and the fact that Max plays defense while Michael plays offense. A very poorly constructed plan on the aliens part.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

A very poorly constructed plan on the aliens part

You think they got discount genetic contractors?

Maybe the aliens that made them aren't big on emotions and what they mean? Nacedo certainly seems to think so.

Max had to be truly different to be madly in love with Tess. I guess the aliens never heard of nature v. nurture dichotomy.

And LOL on the Michael comment. He's had to be pretty different too, to hook up with Isabel.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

Angst? Torture? Sadness? Romance?! I need to get me some of this show! ;D

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

You so totally do! I was actually thinking about you at one point during my marathon last night and that you would probably love it. :)

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

:D It does sound like my type of show. I love it that people think about me in relation to fangirlish things. It makes me giggle! *squishes*

[umassbluangel.livejournal.com]

Buys season 2... it gets better. I promise. Seasons 3 just came out like yesterday so you have good timing.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I bought it (and S3) from amazon but it isn't getting here for a week! I am going to go psychotic.

[umassbluangel.livejournal.com]

and also i see that you are into star wars. how much did the ending break you heart when anakin went bad?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. I ended up crying in the theater.

[sg1padawan.livejournal.com]

Okay this is all sounding HORRIBLY familiar (not the ep synopses - the crying and the guuuuhhhhing) and I am JONESING for some Roswell now. Pity my videos are god only knows where in our garage. *cries* I hate moving.

BTW, Valenti became one of my absolute favourite characters during the show. Love him to pieces. I love how Jason Katims turned him around from The Big Bad of the beginning of the season that everyone was expected to hate, to this guy who's just trying to help these kids... kids the same age as his son. Love it!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am completely useless today because I went to bed so late, but I couldn't help myself. So good.

The angst and the melodrama is just so...right. Guh.

I agree on Valenti. At first, he is this rather stock disapproving authority figure but the more you see of him, the more you see how human and decent he is. And I think it really clicks for him that Max is just a kid in the ep where he shoots the crazy alien hunter who is about to kill Max and Max breaks down, because he realizes that "there's a right side and a wrong side."

I do love that when Max heals Kyle, Valenti tells him that he doesn't care who/what Max is, Valenti will always be there for him.

It's really rare for teen shows to have good, strong adult authority figures (they are usually clueless like Buffy's mom), but Roswell managed.

[sg1padawan.livejournal.com]

I do love that when Max heals Kyle, Valenti tells him that he doesn't care who/what Max is, Valenti will always be there for him.

That was my definining "I love Valenti" moment. I was going to mention it in my previous reply, but I couldn't remember if you'd seen it or not. (It's been that long since I've seen the episodes, I'm all in a jumble as to the order they're in. Reason #1 why I need to watch them again!)

Even though Kyle was fun to hate in Season 1, you'll even see him change a bit in Season 2, and he's not half bad.

BTW, I think a few of the 'ships listed above were missed... Michael/Maria were Candy-fans (ie M&M?), and Alex/Isabel were Stargazers (from that scene in... hm... "In the Woods" I think?). They had names for all the UC 'ships too. o_O

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Kyle isn't so bad. I never hated him. He's wrong for Liz, but he seems a nice enough jock-type guy (now, his friends who beat up Max are another matter, but that's another story).

Ship names are kind of an odd quirk. I prefer quick abbreviations myself. Easier to recognize.

As to UC ships? Don't even get me started on my views on UC :)

[adhuri-roshni.livejournal.com]

So glad you like! I'm wanting a rewatch now.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, icon!

Yes, I adore the angsty angst...