Things "Roswell" has taught me.

[dangermousie]

1. The FBI wants you. For dissection.

2. If a girl is given a choice between a popular basketball star or a studious and mysterious loner, the loner wins every time.

3. Make-out sessions before discussing feelings lead to break-ups.

4. So does discussing feelings before making-out.

5. You are doomed anyway (see 3 and 4), so why bother. Buy a Playboy instead. But it will all work out.

6. Highjacking a car will lead to a long and meaningful relationship with the occupant.

7. A human vibrator (tm Michael and Maria) is a good thing, that is also PG.

8. There are Valley Girls in space.

9. Good girls like to watch (Honestly, what was Liz doing, peeking in on Michael and Maria in one ep?)

9. Extracting a bullet out of a stomach wound and getting a peek at her lacy bra at the same time? The new "meet cute."

10. Aliens are hotter. Period.

11. The best way to get a girl is to be sensitive and kind and stare at her longingly and tell her nice things and let her into your soul.

12. Unless you argue with her and bicker and drag her into closets for necking sessions instead. Works just as well.

13. The adults really are out to get you.

14. Members of the opposite sex ARE aliens.

15. If your dream guy takes you out for a romantic evening or even a simple drive together, watch out. Something horrible is going to happen. In fact, being blindingly happy for more than a moment is asking for disaster.

16. Being morose is your best bet. (see number 15).

17. "From up there" doesn't mean Wyoming.

18. Any guy who is sweet and romantic and mature is not of this earth.

Comments

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

2. If a girl is given a choice between a popular basketball star or a studious and mysterious loner, the loner wins every time.

Well, she will if the loner looks like they usually do on tv and film. :-)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

True. They usually don't walk around weedy and unkempt :)

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

In fact, being blindingly happy for more than a moment is asking for disaster.

The WB has taught us this in general. And Joss. And BSG.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It's gotten to the point where I watch a show and the characters are happy for more than a second and I am trying to figure out what badness will happen next. Because you just know it will.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It got so on Whedon's show that I'd hope that people wouldn't get really happy because then I knew they'd be crushed. I think he had a formula: 17.5 minutes happiness for each character every two seasons. And 5 billion hours of pain and agony.

[spacedwriter.livejournal.com]

18. Any guy who is sweet and romantic and mature is not of this earth.
Ha! The horrid thing is you're probably right... Blast. Guess I gotta get to work on that joining NASA thing, hey? XD

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

ROFL. Well, I guess I lucked out with husband then :)