More horrendous fanfic. This time it's Moulin Rouge

[dangermousie]

No doubt out of some kind of masochistic condition that needs to be treated, I went to ff.net again and this time checked out Moulin Rouge fanfic. Once again, these are summaries just from the first page and with no author names. These, however, make the other ff masterpieces I've cited seem Shakespeare in comparison.



It's Moulin Rouge meets Chicago! Really bad at summeries, but it's funny. All I need is five reveiws to continue, so please R&R! Rated PG13 for language.

You don't need reviews, you need a spell-checker. And a brain.

A Moulin RougePhantom of the Opera crossover. Raoul comissions a play in Christine's honor. Warnings: Slash (RaoulChristian)

Ohhhh. Oooooooohhhhh Lord....make it stop! And then smite the author.

A series of poems I wrote about TB ("consumption"). I promise I'm not joking; people do still get it in this day and age! However they don't often die of it what with modern medicine. Please R and R.

You promise you are not joking, I promise I am not reading

The story about how Christian met his wife ten years after the film was set. Part 6 now up!

Gaaaah! It's MarySue. Ruuuuunnnnn! Part 6? I'd spork self, but I'd rather spork the author.

Christian is found washed up in the Seine River, and Toulouse and Zidler are trying to uncover Christian's last days through his journal and the story.

Yeah, he killed himself when he found out you were going to write this fanfic.

Yea! Fouth Chapter! As the title may imply, this chapter sets the stage for the closing. So you get all three of the charachter's thought and actions. Please enjoy and read and review!

Nay! Fourth Chapter?! "Please enjoy"? Not bloody likely.

We saw Christian holding Satine's body, and then him a year later. But what happend in the hours after Satine's death? WARNING: If you have problems with EXTREMELY mild necrophelia, turn away now.

There is NOTHING I can say to top this simmary.

here come his tears – his own kind of diamonds

You are soooo poetic. Not.

This actually pretty bleak me, Christian gets visited by 3ghosts on Christmas Eve and you know the rest...

No I don't. But I am happy to keep it that way.

Rape Me My Friend by ____
One night in Satine's life as a courtesan, but this is after she's found Christian.

I don't usually keep the titles in, but there is an exception for everything. And this is certainly an exception. One hopes.

The true Moulin Rough adventure of a fruit and a Karebear. My friend Papaya loves this movie, and me not so much. Want to see us bicker like children? THEN READ AND REVIEW YOU PUNY MORTAL!

I have no desire to read, review, or see you bicker. I have a pressing desire to see you NEVER WRITE AGAIN, you PUNY AUTHOR.

Christian is trying to live his life after Satine. But when he's offered to erase all of his memories of the Sparkling Diamond, will he go through with it?

Oh my God. It's Moulin Rouge/Eternal Sunshine cross-over slash...

Sybella is a dancer in love with a percussionist at the Moulin Rouge. When Zidler finds out and becomes a foil to their future, Christian comes to make sure history doesn't repeat itself

MarySue? Self insertion? Something else? If only I could care.

Fic about Satine and Christian's Childhood (their 10). Please R&R, i really want to know what you you think. i know it says that I don't accept reviews from unsigned peeps, its not true, email me if you can't review (and want to review).

My review: I think that you should stop writing. And learn to spell.

Toulouse and the others are moving on, whilst tip-toeing around Christian. Original characters, one year after Satine's death. Toulouse and Satie will play major roles. Omniscient POV

"Moving on, whilst tip-toeing?" Sounds like a modern ballet.

Gaaaah, some people should not be allowed near a computer.

Comments

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

Ow. That's...painful. I think the worst part is that on ff.net they don't put a "/" between names. That's unorthodox right there.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am kinda scared to think all these writers are walking around somewhere, masquerading as normal.

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

I actually have a friend that's posted on ff.net, but I don't think anybody could really call her "normal". A lot of people are really different online than they are in rl, so it's probably not that hard to blend in. But we, the select few, know that there are strangers among us...

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I have tried clicking on some less-scary sounding ff.net fanfic and am scarred for life.

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

It's because nobody needs a beta, anybody who wants to can just post. They have some awful fics on fictionalley.com, and that's with a beta. Strangely enough, you don't see a lot of really awful fic in "Lost" fandom.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I still remember Ginny becoming Draco's Dark Lord mistress and butchering all the Weasleys and Harry and Hermione for fun. I guess the author achieved her objective of being memorable. Unfortunately, in the same way a carwreck is memorable.

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

You do not know the horrors of an emo Harry/Snape fic, with a bit of Ron/Snape on the side. Hey, I'm all for slash, but please try to stay in your own generation.
One time my friend scolixa and I had an e-mailed war in which we tried to come up with the worse Harry Potter ships. I don't know whether or not it's a good thing that I won. (beware the Dumbledore/Dobby/Weasley sweater)

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

I think it was the necrophilia one that just made me go "yeeeeeeeee" and back away slowly.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I really hope that all the author meant was "he kisses her once she is dead." But I didn't want to click and find out. There was one on the second page where Christian decides to forget Christine and move to Australia to go to the "Uni" (and it was not a parody fic). It was on the second page so I didn't site it, but it made me want to claw my eyes out (or even better, the author's).

I am rather bemused by the concept of time in bad fanfic. Don't they realize the movie is set in 1899-1900? How does it equate to a modern University? Or, for the scary person who wrote Raoul/Christian slash, I wonder if they realize Raoul would be in his 50s at that point and hardly a slash-worth object. Somehow I think because of the timewarp he's still in his 20s in that story. Also, it seems odd to pick as slash subjects two characters whose driving characteristic is their passionate love for a woman. Gahhhhh!

[katranna.livejournal.com]

No, it's brilliant! Though that would be the worst slash EVAR. Both Raoul and Christian (pardon me, I don't like either movie) are whiny pathetic losers! They'll make the world's sappiest and most dishraggy couple! They can spend their days in French cafes bemoaning their lost idealized loves together, and then go home to enage in feel-better sex while calling each other by their lost love's names.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but would Raoul's wife object? To the best of my knowledge he did marry the woman of his dreams...

[katranna.livejournal.com]

She's dead now and he's magically young.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

ROFL. I have no answer to that. However I am still scared.