Koizora: all the bleached-hair delinquents and teen pregnancies you need. Move over Bristol Palin!

[dangermousie]

I started the jdrama Koizora.

Ahahahahahahahaha. It's a perfect follow-up to Utahime. If Utahime was complex, nuanced, and heart-breaking, Koizora is deliciously trashy and, while trying for heart-breaking, fails miserably and instead brings joy to yours truly.

Koizora is based on a popular cell-phone novel (WTF) and movie of the same name. It follows true love of a 16-year-old girl named Mika who falls for a bad boy with bleached hair and mysterious illness. (Grand husband prospect, that). Kisses, miscarriages, and beanies of doom follow. I repeat: Ahahahahaha.

It's the perfect drama for me, with true teen romance, voiceovers of fake profundity, belief that matching cell-phone straps mean true love, and very very pretty cinematography. The lead actress looks a bit like a Japanese Claire Danes and the lead actor needs to eat and stop using hair bleach.

I confess I am rooting for the other guy, who is nice and quiet and actually decent to her, and has no bleached hair or piercings even if he doesn't play a guitar soulfully in the setting sun. But that latter is hardly a marketable skill, is it?



We open on a pretty pretty shot of nature. Now we have a 90% chance this drama will try to be fake-profound. "We are not just about teen pregnancy and sappiness, really! Jerry Springer doesn't have cinematography like this!"



Our first shot of the heroine, with her peculiar hobby of admiring sky (it's like saying 'I enjoy breathing for a recreational activity.')



She takes pictures of the sky with her camera. And the chance of fake-profundity is now at 100%.



She is pure, pure, pure, pure, PURE!



And in a true Bollywood fashion, her future lurve passes by, with his bike and his mullet:



Look at the boys the girls are crushing on. They call them 'cute', I call them 'juvenile delinquents.'





Seriously, this hair? Not hot on a girl, let alone a teenage boy. Though A for effort.



Our hero soulfully gazes at the heroine (who has just been asked out by cornrows guy). Probably scoping out the hair competition. Or auditioning for Gokusen 4.







I am oddly mesmerized by the anime look and the fact that he is girlier than I am.



Ahhh, girltalk. Of course, it's all about boys.



Hiro is her true love. Because he plays guitar in the setting sun. Oh my.



She asks him to give a note to cornrows (it's the phone number of her friend who has a crush on cornrows):



And he misunderstands and is all 'isn't a love letter old-fashioned.' Mmm. Jealousy and kissing. I admit my shriveled mean heart sort of thawed here....





She pushes him awaaaaay...oh noez. Be careful, he is so skinny he might break.



First kiiiiiiiss....



She talks to her friend who is all Hiro has a gf and it's true true love because they have matching cell-phone staps (actual dialogue). I wake up to the fact that I have no true love with my husband because not only do our cell-phone straps do not match, we have no cell phone straps at all. Crisis!



Her friends set her up with the cute and quiet dark-haired nice guy with no piercings. I am all for it.





If she knew what was good for her she'd hook up with him but in this sort of drama a heroine never does...



Awwww.











Aaaaand...Hiro Smash!



He knocks a bowl out of her hands and punches Nice Guy. I think I am too old to find antisocial tendencies cute.



Girlfight!!!





Maybe I am too old to find the thought of 'first kiss' only with twuuuu wuv awesome either. Come on, get over it, girl.







She lays into him for being selfish and I am all with her except she forgot he is a 16-year-old boy. Duhhhh...









She also points out he still has a gf and he says he broke up with her.





And he says he only kept the cellphone strap because it reminds him of her.



Flashback...he lost his cell, she found it, and sewed the lost bear arm on.













I confess I kinda found it sweet.









He also tells her he likes her.



Since she is a girl that pisses her off even more.







"Hiro was my first at everything." I doubt it. Was he your first at parasailing? Or oral sex? If the latter, in a jdrama, I'll eat my laptop.



Be kind to plants. It will get you laid.







More teenage angstfest talking. With her thanking him for liking her and saying no way can they be a couple. The books are there in the futile attempt to convince the audience that the heroine isn't as dumb as a box of bricks.













It's Hiro's eeeeeevil girlfriend. I think we are about to enter into Haou Airen territory. If we are lucky...



Doodling=true love.



Oh, this is so teen girl decor! That is the only excuse.



Go out with him! He will have a steady job and no track marks on his arm!



Disrupting class=new sexy.







I just can't buy a juvenile delinquent who rides...a bicycle. Teen rebel on a bicycle just doesn't cut it, you know?



She might be peeved but she could get off any time. I am just sayin'...





They rode for ages to get to an unimpressive-looking ditch. But apparently it works as they bond in his favorite place on earth (Hiro, you need to get out more. Before you die tragically, that is, as per Voiceover of Doom).









Cheeeese! Cheese alert! More than normal, that is.





"Hiro, you are like a river." Ooooo-kay.



"My and your beloved things are getting close." I didn't know it was that kind of a drama.





Eat something!



Awww, who am I kidding? My stone heart finds them cute.



















This ain't going to get you into ToDai, missy!











Previews!













And we close with this dire warning: "Though there is a scene in this program which shows two people riding on one bike, it is forbidden by law without exception. The shot was filmed securely in a place without any danger. Please absolutely do not imitate."

Ahahahaha. Excellent to the last frame of the first ep.

Comments

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

A cell phone novel? As long as I live I may never GET Japan.

[boycottbananas.livejournal.com]

Apparently those are becoming really popular in Japan. I'd do it, if only I lived in Japan. And owned a cell phone. ._.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

tatterpunk posted a fascinating article about that phenomenon below. Apparently Koizora (Love Sky) was number 1 bestseller (when put in book form) in the year it came out. Yikes!

[boycottbananas.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL. I can't tell if you like it or hate it. XD

I've watched the movie, and while initially I thought it was okay, I ended up noticing all of it's flaws and now I hate it. Plus it is waaaay too popular for my taste, I really don't like Aragaki Yui, and now everyone LOOOOOOOVES Miura Haruma because of it.

I've only watched the first episode of the drama, but I'm hoping it will be a million times better than the movie, just to spite all of those retarded fans. And Tetsuya/Tatsuya is Eita's brother! ...I'm hoping you know who that is. ._.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I like it. I mock it because I loooooove.

Drama is dumb as a box of rocks but cute and I can't wait for them to be doooooooooooooooomed.

[boycottbananas.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO, you're just waiting for the angst, aren't you? XD

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

You know me. And this time I won't feel bad because this drama is not actually good so am not emotionally invested :)

[darkeyedwolf.livejournal.com]

Girlfight!!!

They're not feminine! They're sensitive!!! In special places when they try to sit down...

"My and your beloved things are getting close." I didn't know it was that kind of a drama.

Doesn't she wind up pregnant? Close indeed.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

They're not feminine! They're sensitive!!! In special places when they try to sit down...


ROFL.

Seriously, there are jdramas like Utahime and Kareinaru Ichizoku and then there are dramas like Love & Eros and this. Aren't I lucky I love both?

[thinking-lotus.livejournal.com]

there are a bajillion captions and only 5 pics. what happened? nm, it's fixed.

I have to say I enjoyed the 1st ep of the drama so much I watched the movie. Boy was I sorry.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Did you watch any more of the drama? I just got eps 2 and 3 and am gleefully anticipating emotional mayhem.

[thinking-lotus.livejournal.com]

I didn't think the subs were out yet and querbeet had posted a message saying "don't expect them any time soon, we have real lives" so I hadn't been pay attention. But now I'm gonna dl 2 & 3 and I am LOOKING FORWARD to it ;-)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

It was most enjoyable, trust me. :P

[autumn-yaar.livejournal.com]

OMG, I swear I watched this! But it wasn't a drama.. I think they made a movie version?

[autumn-yaar.livejournal.com]

YES! I did.

Here: http://community.livejournal.com/jdramas/2192402.html#cutid1

The leads were much cuter and the storyline less frustrating. :p

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I like the drama OK so far (it amuses me anyway) but oh boy, both movie and a drama versions surely must be overkill :P

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

*sporfle*

At first, I thought this was the one calixa amused me with greatly when she watched it recently, but it isn't.

I don't think I could handle reading this, much less watching it...

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

The part of me that loves hopelessly trashy revels in this but this is not a drama I can, in good conscience, recommend.

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

Cell phone novel? Woah.

Dude, my jdrama plate is STACKED.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. The whole phenomenon sounds fascinating!

Btw, we should hang out sometime...I can show you Utahime :)

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

I cannot express how absolutely I feel the need to hang out with you. ;) Every time I walk down your street I'm thinking about it. I'm just being careful -- especially now with all the craziness in getting ready for Taiwan -- not to make plans I can't keep. But soon!! Would you be okay watching more of Delightful Girl, too?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I'll be OK watching anything you like :)

You can just call me at the last minute and most of my evenings are free :)

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'll keep that in mind.

[seven-trees.livejournal.com]

JDrama delinquents crack my shit up. I'm a fairly small girl and I could still snap all those pretty boys like twigs.

Oh JDramas, I'll keep on loving you if only for the fact that you continue to bring on the bishounen crack.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I bet if I body-slammed him, he'd have to end up in the trauma ward and I am tiny. LOL. Not to mention that he is girlier than I am...

This is still not as funny as Matsuda Shota as a gangster in Jotei. I could snap his waist with one hand!

[seven-trees.livejournal.com]

It always kills me when you see these dramas and they have these REALLY skinny boys play the bullies or the gangster. I mean, if I had gone to school with them I could have killed them all with a bitch slap. But you see all these other kids cower in front of them. It boggles the mind.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

If they have someone like Oguri Shun play a hoddlum, at least he is tall and looks like he eats. Or any of the guys in Pride or Nagase Tomoya or someone, I'd buy it. But they guys they usually get? LOL.

[ladysaotome.livejournal.com]

If you promise to keep posting like that, I'll be in heaven! This was one of your funniest posts in a long time! Who needs to watch the drama? - I'll just read your posts!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I am watching ep 2 and capping it right now :)

[animeshon.livejournal.com]

Seriously! Is it wrong that I kinda wanna watch this now, and dammit why do I not have cellphone novels?!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I want the cellphone novel availability too!