Mainly about poetry

[dangermousie]

1. I've been reading my way through Ashok K. Banker series of novels which are a retelling of the Ramayana in novel form. From what I remember (I read a Russian translation of the Ramayana ages ago), he is pretty faithful to the original, with the advantages that come with the novel form (dialogue, filling in the gaps) but if you are looking for an interpretation or reimagining of the original, you are better off looking elsewhere. Its faithfulness is also its straight-jacket. If, otoh, you want a rip-roaring good story (there is a reason I adored the original in translation as a child) written in a more accessible language and with more detail than a pure English translation of the original epic will be, come right in.

2. This is, for some reason, is reminding me of my love for Persian poetry. Translations were pretty obtainable in the Soviet Union when I was growing up. They are just so emotional and passionate and beautiful. The closest equivalent in English would be the metaphysical poets, IMO. I especially love Saadi. My favorite Persian poem is his. It's only four lines but it really gets me, somehow. Here it is, in Russian translation:

Если в рай после смерти меня поведут без тебя,
Я закрою глаза, чтобы светлого рая не видеть.
Ведь в раю без тебя мне придется сгорать, как в аду.
Нет, аллах не захочет меня так жестоко обидеть!

Also, his gazals are amazing. Here is one (in Russian translation)

О караванщик, сдержи верблюдов! Покой мой сладкий, мой сон уходит.
Вот это сердце за той, что скрутит любое сердце, в полон уходит.
Уходит злая, кого люблю я, мне оставляя одно пыланье.
И полыхаю я, словно пламень, и к тучам в дымах мой стон уходит.
Я о строптивой все помнить буду, покуда буду владеть я речью.
Хоть слово – вестник ее неверный, едва придет он и вон уходит.
Приди, – и снова тебе, прекрасной, тебе, всевластной, служить я стану.
Ведь крик мой страстный в просторы неба, себе не зная препон, уходит.
О том, как души бросают смертных, об этом люди толкуют разно.
Я ж видел душу свою воочью: она – о, горький урон! – уходит.
Не должен стоном стонать Саади,— но все ж неверной кричу я: “Злая!”
Найду ль терпенье! Ведь из рассудка благоразумья канон уходит!

If you want to read him in Russian, this is a great web-page.

It's hard to find English translations on-line, but here is one, done by this gentleman of another one of Saadi's poems:

I held in my bath a per­fumed piece of clay
that came to me from a beloved’s hand.
I asked it, “Are you musk or amber­gris?
Like fine wine, your smell intox­i­cates me.”
“Till some­one set me down beside a rose,”
it said, “I was a loath­some lump of clay.
My companion’s scent seeped into me.
Oth­er­wise, I am only the earth that I am.”

One of my favorite Russian poems is also inspired by Saadi. It's Yesenin's riff on Saadi's work:

Ты сказала, что Саади
Целовал лишь только в грудь.
Подожди ты, Бога ради,
Обучусь когда-нибудь!

Ты пропела: «За Ефратом
Розы лучше смертных дев».
Если был бы я богатым,
То другой сложил напев.

Я б порезал розы эти,
Ведь одна отрада мне —
Чтобы не было на свете
Лучше милой Шаганэ.

И не мучь меня заветом,
У меня заветов нет.
Коль родился я поэтом,
То целуюсь, как поэт.

ETA: How do I do the equivalent of LJ cuts on DW? I don't want to inflict lengthy uncut entries on my friends.

Comments

[morwen_peredhil]

Cuts on DW

[dangermousie]

Thank you.

[katranna.livejournal.com]

Posts like this make me painfully realize how much simply BETTER translations work in Russian than in English. The Russian verses posted here are lovely, and remind me of why I used to really enjoy poetry when I was young. The English one is... ok, nice.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

You can use the same coding for both LJ and DW for most things. The only difference (that I've found) is that you can only use the username code for that version. Unless I'm linking to someone who has the same ID for both websites, I tend to just enter it as a normal link.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yes, I don't know what it is because poetry that is originally in English reads just fine, so it's not a language flaw.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[lady-wu.livejournal.com]

Random guesses (analyzing grammar takes the poetry out of everything):

- Russian has a more flexible word order than English.
- Given the word endings in Russian, it's much easier to make things rhyme.

Cao Cao spews a poem in TK ep. 41 and trying to translate it makes me want to cry. I don't like either of the published English translations. The Russian translation is far superior in meter and rhyme, but lacks accuracy. It's hard to please everyone in a poetry translation...

[lady-wu.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh Mousie Mousie LOOK!



(Translation taken from here. For about 8 lines in the middle the translator went berserk and I'm not even sure we're still on the same poem... ended up just fitting in the lines as best as I could. :P)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

OMG this is wonderful. Thank you.