dangermousie: (BSG: Lee by syliasyliasylia)
[personal profile] dangermousie
OMG! This is awesome. This is the text of a genuine 1920s advertisement for a trashy novel. Where do I start? Perhaps with the ad itself.

"I have owned a hundred women!" he answered defiantly.

The girl recoiled as from a blow. Was this man who paraded his conquests before her the same one who had feasted so freely on her lips that moonlit night in Grand Canary?

She was his prisoner now. He had stolen her and brought her to his stronghold in the desert. Her father was also a captive. Pansy Langham's life had crashed in ruins about her. What good were her millions now? The mask had been removed. Raoul Le-Breton was the Sultan Casim El Ammeh!—a Mohammedan!

And yet she wanted no man's kisses but his. Love for him consumed her, but race and religion stood between them.

Little did she guess that the Arab had foreseen this minute, that he had trailed her father, Sir George for fifteen years. The Englishman, a captain at the time, had killed his father. Casim El Ammeh had not forgotten. Revenge was his at last!
He had intended having his way with her and then selling her as a slave—a fate more cruel than a white man could conceive. But love—an emotion an Arab scoffs at—had come to thwart him. Was he to forego his oath of an eye for an eye, or open the doors of his harem and seek forgetfulness?

Read

A Son of the Sahara

By Louise Gerard

Who gives you the real thrill of the Great Desert

For Sale wherever books are sold or from
THE MACAULAY COMPANY
PUBLISHERS
15-17 W. 38th Street New York


*dies* Seriously. This makes ff.net seem like Tolstoy.

I found this at the back of the old edition of the melodramatic novel His Hour, written in the 1920s. It is a novel by the notorious Elinor Glyn, whose books look pretty tame now but were scandalous hot stuff back in the twenties.

I tried reading it in college, and my brain nearly shrivelled of the stupid. Think a much less graphic Haou Airen in novel form. At one point, the prim heroine is kidnapped to a snowy lodge by the dashing yet IMO nasty sociopathic hero. He threatens to take her virtue. Luckily, she has her hands on a gun. Does she shoot him. Does she threaten him? Nah, she puts the gun to her temple and says if he moves a step closer she will shoot herself. The hero, however repellant, is not dim and reasonably points out that he’ll just wait until she is tired. So she finally gets tired and he pounces and she…faints. Yeah. This not being Haou Airen, he changes his mind on taking her virtue and tries to bring her to and kisses her feet (I think words ‘with wild abandon’ might have been used). When she comes to, she thinks she’s been dishonored because her clothes are askew (because he tried to bring her to). She seems to know remarkably little of birds and bees if she thinks that’s sufficient, but whatever. Anyhow, the bright girl’s solution? To preserve her honor, to marry the rapist. Yeah. Brilliant. They go ahead with the wedding because he neglects to mention the truth and he only reveals it after marriage because he wanted her to be trapped to marry him. Hugs and kisses. Happy end. Pass my the barf bag.

Heh. You can read the novel here:

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16692

This is how it ends. Read this and weep. This is worse than a lot of badfic I’ve come across:

Then the glory of paradise seemed to descend upon Tamara, as he bent and kissed her lips.

Oh! what did anything else matter in the world since after all he loved her! This beautiful fierce lover!

Visions of enchantment presented themselves--a complete intoxication of joy.

He held her in his arms, and all the strange passion and mystic depths which had fascinated her always, now dwelt in his eyes, only intensified by delirious love.

"Do you remember, Sweetheart, how you defied and resisted me? Darling! Heart of mine! but I have conquered you and taken you, in spite of all! You cannot struggle any more, you are my own. Only you must tell me that you give me, too, your soul. Ah! you said once I should have no part or lot in that matter. Tamara, tell me that I have it?"

And Tamara thrilled with ecstasy as she whispered, "Yes, you have it."

She cared not at all about pride--she did not wish to struggle, she adored being conquered. Her entire being was merged in his.

He held her from him for a second and the old whimsical smile full of tender mischief stole into his eyes.

"That night at the hut--when you dropped the pistol when--well, don't you want to know what really did happen?" he said.

She buried her face in his scarlet coat.

"Oh, no, no, no!" she cried. "It is all forgotten and forgiven."

Then with wild passion he clasped her to his breast.

"Oh! Love!" he said. "My sweet Princess; the gods are very kind to us, for all happiness is yet to come--! I did but kiss your little feet."


Ahhh. What every woman wants. A man to overmaster her and make her believe she was raped. Thank you, Elinor. I was clearly deluded when I did not realize that before.

Best Friend and I read bits of this novel (I use the word loosely) to each other in college and would die laughing. Even now, quite a few years later 'mystical it' is a phrase we randomly use :)

Date: 2007-04-19 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] svilleficrecs.livejournal.com
LOL. That's just awesome. I'm particularly fond of "selling her as a slave—a fate more cruel than a white man could conceive"

Because white men? They totally never sold slaves.

Date: 2007-04-19 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grey-fuzzy.livejournal.com
I always had a feeling that badfic defied time, stretching back to the annals of history! Laughing so hard at the quotes, OMG.

Date: 2007-04-19 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Isn't it sheer genius? Maybe not :D

Date: 2007-04-19 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Because white men? They totally never sold slaves.

Nah. Only icky Mohameddans sell slaves. Or maybe what the author meant is that it's OK for the heathens to sell each other, but white people wouldn't sell other white people (of course, white slavery? what is that?)

I have not read a word of the novel but I am willing to be sums of money that the Sultan (who apparently has free time from his governing duties to trail after an English retiree for 15 years) will turn out to be white...

Date: 2007-04-19 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tatterpunk.livejournal.com
Hee! I am totally reading this omg.

Date: 2007-04-19 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Heh. Which one?

Date: 2007-04-19 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janlake83.livejournal.com
yeah there are some romance novels that i have come across that is just like that and it makes me giggle when i read the back and the ending... it makes no sense to me...

ohh well

Date: 2007-04-19 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tassosss.livejournal.com
Oh, that's both funny and eye gouging worthy. It reminds me of when I watch old black and white movies from that period. *shudders*

Date: 2007-04-19 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] octavia-b.livejournal.com
I'm just gasping for breath here. I particularly loved "feasted so freely on her lips". Bwah! I need to use that some time.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I feel these should be laminated and shown to people who complain about the decline of standards in modern fiction.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
At last. We found a precursor to Hannibal Lecter.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Seriously. I've read a whole bunch of trashy teens and twenties novels and they are worse than the romance novels about Vikings where women show ample cleavage on the covers. Just dreadful.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
It's just...Oh. I tried reading 'The Sheik' and my head nearly exploded of the awful.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
LOL. Yes. Stupid authors remain a constant.

Date: 2007-04-19 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliterati.livejournal.com
I love you. That's really all I have to say.

Date: 2007-04-19 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
I was thinking of your paper when I posted this :)

Date: 2007-04-19 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliterati.livejournal.com
Oh, I appreciate the thought. ;p

Date: 2007-04-19 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottishlass.livejournal.com
Awww ... seems like someone had had an overdose of Valentino as The Sheikh and wrote up her own little Mary Sue ;-)
Seriously though, sometimes you can't be too grateful that certain novels are out of print or lost. I once (re)searched for a Regency novel that was pretty popular at the time (1805-07) and which we wanted to use in a Regency weekend for a literary circle. When I found excerpts my eye began to bleed. Jane Austen it wasn't.

Date: 2007-04-19 09:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magalamb.livejournal.com
... Georgette Heyer was writing in the 20s and she wrote some quality stuff... how did that book manage to get published. Also, what's whith the idea of the Shiekh fantasy?

Date: 2007-04-19 10:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vierran45.livejournal.com
*dies* Oh dear, I was doing my best to suppress my giggles, and almost succeeding, until I saw your comment about Hannibal Lecter in response to that comment about "feasting on her lips" ROTFLOL!

Thank you for introducing us to this gem XD.

Date: 2007-04-19 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lydzi.livejournal.com
...

LOL.

Date: 2007-04-20 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Oooooh...what novel was it?

And that 1920s book just sounds hilarious...

Date: 2007-04-20 12:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
And I am pleased to introduce literary gems :)

Date: 2007-04-20 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
What more needs to be said :)

Date: 2007-04-22 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Heeeee. You've been warned :)

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