dangermousie: (Jumong by miss_dian)
[personal profile] dangermousie
A.k.a. the one which broke my heart...

(Thoughts and caps on ep 22)

This drama really exemplifies the concept of Faith - Gongmin is about to walk into lion's den out of sheer principle and Nogook smiles and tells him she will be waiting for him. And you can see Gongmin, imperceptibly, straighten - his confidence bolstered by hers.

Eun Soo kills me - her antidote is destroyed and her main thought is how affected CY will be if she dies. Not about herself - she thinks about him first and herself only second.

The fight sequences turned nightmarish as CY cannot control his trembling sword hand (the look on his second-in-command's face was identical to mine) - it is clearly psychological - watch how he looks on in horror to see the mountain of corpses he created, some random soldiers he had no personal enmity is. His hand is an expression of his inner turmoil - he used to be a killing machine because he didn't know anything outside of it, but Eun Soo, by loving him, by showing him a different world, made him unfit as a killing machine - he is so fed up with all of this, he just want to be with her.

He comes back and their reunion. He tries to stay away from her, because he's covered in blood and he remembers her aversion (and that is exascerbated by his own feelings). And, oh Eun Soo. Brilliant, dying, 21st-century, doctor Eun Soo - she heals him. No, not any wounds (he doesn't have any), nor his trembling hands - but she heals his heart. He tells her the blood is not his, probably expecting repulsion or at least discomfort, but she just gently says she knows. And as he self-loathingly says that he only killed normal soldiers, it was easy, she just steps up to him and pulls him into this hug. And you can see how startled he is and then it sinks in, that she is not repudiating him, that she is loving him the way he is and accepting everything of his and he just sinks into her arms and closes his eyes...oh, my darlings!

She tries to figure out what is wrong with his hand and they end up talking about his sword (side note - the comment that they are both playing with his sword on the bed could have a whole other meaning :P) And once again - it's her acceptance and his weariness/loathing of his role (as he says - the sword failed to kill who it should have, who tormented/poisoned ES, just killed some random people). This scene was just so beautiful....

He finds out from Gongmin about the destruction of the antidote and you see his whole soul crumble.

He gets all the details from Lady Choi, including the fact that ES was worried about him if she dies and crumples further, if it is even possible.

ES lies to Nogook about her future. If ever a white lie was appropriate...

This painful painful scene, where she insists on staying and making more antidote and he insists on pushing her away and taking her through the portal to save her life. What really gets me is when he says that asking her to stay was the first time he broke his word (to take her back) and he got greedy - you can tell a part of him is thinking this is just punishment for him for wanting something for himself. Oh, Young!

The brilliant final scene. Where he is so full of self-hatred because while ES was dying, he was killing people who never harmed him on orders, instead of helping her find a cure (oh, Young, you are not unworthy, you are not!) and ES crying that if she goes through the portal, she will live but it won't be a life, she will be like a dead person, getting through meaningless days and calling for him at night. They are both ready to tear their hearts out, aren't they - she is willing to die to stay with him longer, to live, not just to exist. And he is willing to send her away, to push away the one person who makes his life worthwhile, to save her, even if it means he will revert to a machine with a deathwish. And then he says he can't protect her and once again there is a shot of his trembling hand (protection in a literal sense, he can't hold a sword, as well as a deeper one - his being who he is puts her in danger because of his enemies wanting to get to her, and even her own being who she is puts her in danger and he can't keep her safe even in his quarters, he has failed, so he thinks) and she takes it and holds it to herself - and there they both are - wounded, crippled, yet awe-inspiring together.

If this drama doesn't give me a happy ending, I'll kill something.
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November 2012

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