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dangermousieTitle: Underscores
Fandom: Meteor Garden (Xi Men/Xiao You)
Word Count: 833
Author’s Notes: Yes, indeed. I wrote a Xi Men/Xiao You fic. No idea if anyone would read it, but I couldn’t find any to read so had to write one myself. Recent discussions with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alexandral reminded me how much I ship them. It takes place after Meteor Garden but before Meteor Rain.
To be honest, Xiao You likes Canada. The family ends up in Toronto and the city is busy, and big, and fun and enough to keep anyone occupied with exploring. She doesn’t know English that well though, so she has to study long and hard. She is less fond of that. Xiao You was never big on studying.
If I was cleverer, would it have turned out different? Would I have found some way to make it work? She doesn’t wonder about that.
Of course, she knows no matter which corner she turns, she will never meet Xi Men. Granted, Taipei is large anyway so that probability would be astronomical in any event. So it’s no loss. She doesn’t remember him finding her on the sidewalk, and helping her, and making her laugh on what she was until then considering the worst day of her life.
And of course, since he’d never be over here, there is no point in even looking, so it’s rather a peaceful thing to walk around. And so she never looks. Except that one time she saw someone and ran all the way to the next block only to discover a tall, puzzled stranger. But she won’t do it again.
And the people are nice, too. She has started to make friends, even. Though she misses Shan Cai, and her sense of humor, and her strength, and the fact that they told each other every silly thing since they were seven. She misses her best friend terribly. And she misses her school friends and her neighbors and even the crotchety man she used to buy her newspaper from. A bit. She doesn’t miss anyone else.
And then one day Shan Cai calls her. They have been doing the email thing a lot, but calls, not so much. It’s a random, friendly call, and they chatter on, like old times. Xiao You is glad her friend is happy, even if Shan Cai would never say it outright. Whatever it is she has going on with Dao Ming Si is clearly working for her. And then Shan Cai mentions Xi Men in passing, as part of her catalogue of things of home. It’s a trivial brief comment, something about Ah Si mentioning something Xi Men told him, but for a moment Xiao You can’t reply. She has a sudden, utterly irrational, and wholly shameful feeling of jealousy that Shan Cai sees him and talks to him when she can't. But it passes, so she says his name back in an utterly casual phrase which starts with the innocuous “so, Xi Men said…” but the rest of the phrase is immaterial. She just wants to hear his name in her voice. Because she hasn’t said it for months and she is unused to the shape of the syllables in her mouth.
Next week, she goes out with a nice blue-eyed classmate. She’s been asked on dates before but hadn’t gone. It’s her first try at dating in Canada but it’s not so different from a date back home, either. There is a movie (which she doesn’t remember very well) and a nice place to eat afterwards. Her date holds her hand awkwardly, and when the evening is over, leans in for a kiss. She turns her head so he kisses her cheek instead. She doesn’t think he’ll ask for a second date.
That night she lies in bed and mouths ‘fool’ at the ceiling. She has a vivid image of Xi Men with some girl of the week, long haired and long legged and with more make up than Xiao You even owns. She screws her eyes shut tight, tighter. But the image won’t go away.
When she falls asleep, it’s worse, because in her dream she is back in that hotel room, and he is holding her, and his eyes are soft. She wakes up breathless. The clock next to her bed shows it’s 3 am.
She hasn’t gotten over him after all. How silly.
But of course she will someday soon.
And if she lies to herself hard enough and long enough, she might even believe it.
When she falls asleep again, they are back in that hotel room, only she isn’t shivering and he isn’t hesitant and this time the clothes come off.
If she has a dream like that again, she just might die. Or not want to wake up.
And then it’s morning and she feels as if she’d never slept at all.
Idiot. What kind of woman pines for a man who doesn’t want her, won’t ever want her, can’t want her? Utterly unapproachable yet utterly kind. She wishes he was less kind. She tries to forget that the look in his eyes could have been something else, could have meant both less and more than kindness. Even if that is so, he won’t come out from behind his walls, and she isn’t stupid enough to waste her life in hopeless causes.
Except she is.
So she looks at her savings, and she buys a ticket home.
Round trip.
Fandom: Meteor Garden (Xi Men/Xiao You)
Word Count: 833
Author’s Notes: Yes, indeed. I wrote a Xi Men/Xiao You fic. No idea if anyone would read it, but I couldn’t find any to read so had to write one myself. Recent discussions with
alexandral reminded me how much I ship them. It takes place after Meteor Garden but before Meteor Rain. To be honest, Xiao You likes Canada. The family ends up in Toronto and the city is busy, and big, and fun and enough to keep anyone occupied with exploring. She doesn’t know English that well though, so she has to study long and hard. She is less fond of that. Xiao You was never big on studying.
If I was cleverer, would it have turned out different? Would I have found some way to make it work? She doesn’t wonder about that.
Of course, she knows no matter which corner she turns, she will never meet Xi Men. Granted, Taipei is large anyway so that probability would be astronomical in any event. So it’s no loss. She doesn’t remember him finding her on the sidewalk, and helping her, and making her laugh on what she was until then considering the worst day of her life.
And of course, since he’d never be over here, there is no point in even looking, so it’s rather a peaceful thing to walk around. And so she never looks. Except that one time she saw someone and ran all the way to the next block only to discover a tall, puzzled stranger. But she won’t do it again.
And the people are nice, too. She has started to make friends, even. Though she misses Shan Cai, and her sense of humor, and her strength, and the fact that they told each other every silly thing since they were seven. She misses her best friend terribly. And she misses her school friends and her neighbors and even the crotchety man she used to buy her newspaper from. A bit. She doesn’t miss anyone else.
And then one day Shan Cai calls her. They have been doing the email thing a lot, but calls, not so much. It’s a random, friendly call, and they chatter on, like old times. Xiao You is glad her friend is happy, even if Shan Cai would never say it outright. Whatever it is she has going on with Dao Ming Si is clearly working for her. And then Shan Cai mentions Xi Men in passing, as part of her catalogue of things of home. It’s a trivial brief comment, something about Ah Si mentioning something Xi Men told him, but for a moment Xiao You can’t reply. She has a sudden, utterly irrational, and wholly shameful feeling of jealousy that Shan Cai sees him and talks to him when she can't. But it passes, so she says his name back in an utterly casual phrase which starts with the innocuous “so, Xi Men said…” but the rest of the phrase is immaterial. She just wants to hear his name in her voice. Because she hasn’t said it for months and she is unused to the shape of the syllables in her mouth.
Next week, she goes out with a nice blue-eyed classmate. She’s been asked on dates before but hadn’t gone. It’s her first try at dating in Canada but it’s not so different from a date back home, either. There is a movie (which she doesn’t remember very well) and a nice place to eat afterwards. Her date holds her hand awkwardly, and when the evening is over, leans in for a kiss. She turns her head so he kisses her cheek instead. She doesn’t think he’ll ask for a second date.
That night she lies in bed and mouths ‘fool’ at the ceiling. She has a vivid image of Xi Men with some girl of the week, long haired and long legged and with more make up than Xiao You even owns. She screws her eyes shut tight, tighter. But the image won’t go away.
When she falls asleep, it’s worse, because in her dream she is back in that hotel room, and he is holding her, and his eyes are soft. She wakes up breathless. The clock next to her bed shows it’s 3 am.
She hasn’t gotten over him after all. How silly.
But of course she will someday soon.
And if she lies to herself hard enough and long enough, she might even believe it.
When she falls asleep again, they are back in that hotel room, only she isn’t shivering and he isn’t hesitant and this time the clothes come off.
If she has a dream like that again, she just might die. Or not want to wake up.
And then it’s morning and she feels as if she’d never slept at all.
Idiot. What kind of woman pines for a man who doesn’t want her, won’t ever want her, can’t want her? Utterly unapproachable yet utterly kind. She wishes he was less kind. She tries to forget that the look in his eyes could have been something else, could have meant both less and more than kindness. Even if that is so, he won’t come out from behind his walls, and she isn’t stupid enough to waste her life in hopeless causes.
Except she is.
So she looks at her savings, and she buys a ticket home.
Round trip.
