dangermousie: (BW: Fanaa Aamir by jadeicons)
[personal profile] dangermousie
Fanaa Fanfic

A/N: I keep thinking about Rehan so this is Rehan centric, and a bit spoilery. I have no idea how it came across or whether it's plausible but I really had to write.


The first time Rehan sees a man die, he is five. Or at least it's the first time he remembers.

The man is crying a bit (but he is trying not to) and Grandfather is red in the face, and his voice is raised, but it's a bit sad-sounding. Rehan admires his Grandfather. He only learned about parents recently, but he can't imagine them at all despite the photograph he saw, because Grandfather takes up his world. If Rehan knew what spelling was, Grandfather would be spelled in all capital letters, or at least the word capitalized. But Rehan hopes Grandfather won't be too mad for too long, because he wants to go inside. It is cold, and his nose is running but he knows saying so would just earn him a slap, or worse, a talking about how he is a fighter and how his Grandfather is ashamed of him.

And he wants to be good, so he waits. He doesn't think Malik should sniffle though. "I wouldn't just because someone yells at me," he thinks with a child's superiority. But then Malik is rather nice, and he'd given Rehan a carved wooden gun a few weeks back, so Rehan decides he will generously overlook it. But he can't help but square his small shoulders and want to look away at the same time.

Grandfather is still going on (something about "And you led them straight to us! You should have known they were following you") and Rehan suddenly realizes it has to do with the day before yesterday, when he woke up to the sound of gun fire, and Sadiq and Murad weren't around any more. Grandfather said a brief prayer in front of dark shapes on the ground and then said "Martyrs live in heaven forever, child" when Rehan asked.

And then the talking-to stops and Malik is babbling excuses, and there is spit at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes look naked and Rehan is scornful and scared all at once. Grandfather pulls out a gun, there is a sudden and loud sound that Rehan knows too well, and Malik is a dark shape on the ground, just like Sadiq and Murad were earlier, and Rehan thinks, dumbly, "That's how dead people are made?"

Rehan knows about dead. There have been others before Sadiq and Murad and before all that there were his parents. When Rehan asked Grandfather about them, Grandfather said something about Martyrs. It strikes Rehan that Grandfather likes that word a lot.

Rehan knows about dead. Now he knows his Grandfather makes them.

He knows not to stare at the body too much, he knows not to react, but he can't help but keep taking quick looks. Yup, the dark shape is still there. He knows not to look away when Grandfather looks his way.

That evening, he throws away the wooden gun Malik gave him. Grandfather told him Malik was wrong, and weak, and to be punished was his fate. But that night, he dreams of Malik and Sadiq and Murad and they are somewhere warm, and with enough food and he thinks it's probably Heaven and he can't be sorry about it when he wakes.

Date: 2006-06-06 10:29 pm (UTC)
ext_50: Amrita Rao (Default)
From: [identity profile] plazmah.livejournal.com
OMG YAY!

Crosspost in [livejournal.com profile] bolly_fics now! I will be posting one soon too :)

Date: 2006-06-06 10:32 pm (UTC)
ginger001: (fanaa)
From: [personal profile] ginger001
I couldn't not read it! ;)

Love it. Good vision of how Rehan grew up. Pained me to read it but it gives you a clue of what he had may lived to make him like he is in the movie.

Thanks for posting it!

Date: 2006-06-06 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Thank you! Can't wait to read yours!

Date: 2006-06-06 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I don't know why but I keep thinking about what a crazy upbringing he would have had and how it really ruined his life...

I can just imagine, if Tab didn't get there is time, and Grandpa would have gotten his hands on Rehan Jr, the whole cycle starting again btw...

Date: 2006-06-07 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivil.livejournal.com
Wah. The way he learns to deal with death and the constantness of it and the painful but simple the propaganda leaves their marks on the child makes for such a fascinating story to tell. Loved it, the naivety of it all at this point and how it later develops into a very tragic human being.

Date: 2006-06-07 08:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
Thank you. The fact that you liked it means a great deal to me because it's your fic and your meta that really made me think about Rehan and what would have made him who he is. And how tragic it is, the gradual warping.

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