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dangermousieSalaam-e-Ishq for five year olds. IN RHYME.
Yes, I am in love with this. But I know most people on my flist have never seen an Indian movie (no, I love Water, but it doesn't count. Though the hottie from Water is one of the leads here. Does this help?)
So I shall make it my mission to try toindoctrinate as many people as possible into joys of Salaam-e-Ishq, the joys of Bollywood (the Indian movie industry that is centered in Mumbai) and rope fresh victims into my John Abraham kidnapping plot. Ooops, the last part wasn't supposed to slip out.
Anyway, before you invest into a three-and-a-half hour movie, here is a very brief run down for those lazy ones who do not want to watch without knowing what it's about.
SeI follows the stories of six couples. And my summary rhymes, people! AND HAS NO SPOILERS.
I.
There once lived a young couple, Ashu and Tehzeeb.
They were young, very gorgeous, and so not glib:
Ashu was Hindu and Tehzeeb Muslim was
In order to rhyme I switched verbs just because.
Never fear, the religious differences mattered not,
As the sexy young things spoke the language of hot:
Their parents disowned them because the old folks were tools
Just think how cute the grandkids would be, silly fools:
They are married, in love, photogenic and fit,
That's how the audience knows the tragedy will hit:
When the tragedy strikes Ashu goes on the run,
He must find his beloved or be all undone.
He looks desperate and hot and he surely proves,
You must take care of your feet and they'll take care of youse.
(I would here post a picture of him racing instead,
But I am afraid the sheer hotness would disorder my head)
SHOCK and HORROR and capital letters abound.
Will Tehzeeb be OK? Or be put underground?
Will the dorama angst have a happy finale?
Will their love be destroyed or will poor lovers rally?
Poor Ashu, in danger of having just memories and solitude.
But to look on the bright side, the memories are gooooood:
II.
There once lived a scheming item girl Kkamini
The only thing that rhymes with her name is the word 'hominy:'
Kkamini was pretty and smart and sexy, though lacking in tact.
But all she'd get would be dance numbers in movies when she wanted to aaaaaaaact:
To change her scandal-ridden image, Kkamini came up with a plan.
Which was slightly less crazy than running naked through Rajastan
She invented a childhood sweetheart and named him Rahul.
And then suddenly the guy was there, acting all cool.
Should she faint, scream in horror? Or proceed with elan?
I'd go for the latter considering it's the hot Salman Khan:
What can Kkamini do? Who is this cheeky stranger?
Is she playing with fire, is her heart in danger?
Love?
Or craziness?
Or just a hot dance?
All I know, I'd kill to get in Salman's pants.
III.
Raju taxiwalla is a taxi driver with heart.
I loved him like crazy just right from the start:
Raju has been dreaming for years of this,
Meeting a blonde dream girl and marriage and bliss:
With a dance number or two thrown handily in,
He should get what he wants as his heart's pure and clean:
What he finds is a girl named Stephanie instead,
Who came to win back a scummy boyfriend who should have been kicked in the head:
Will she keep being blind or will she fall for Raju?
If she has any brains, heart or soul, she will love him, but if not, then I'll do:
IV.
Shiven is the most eligible bachelor around:
But he is so miserable he doesn't want to make a sound:
He's just gotten engaged to Gia
And is on the verge of a horrible hysteria:
Will he ever grow up before it's too late?
Give the boy a dance number and let's sit down and wait:
V.
Ramdayal and his bride just got married but don't have no luck:
All they want, poor things, is to snuggle and ****:
VI.
They might look like your parents but they really are not,
Unless your parents are wealthy and dancing and hot:
Poor Vinay hits forty and a midlife crisis and more.
Still if I were him I'd return this clearly faulty piano back to the store:
Will he stick with his wife or his fantasy life?
She'll either forgive him or stick him with knife:
Yes, I am in love with this. But I know most people on my flist have never seen an Indian movie (no, I love Water, but it doesn't count. Though the hottie from Water is one of the leads here. Does this help?)
So I shall make it my mission to try to
Anyway, before you invest into a three-and-a-half hour movie, here is a very brief run down for those lazy ones who do not want to watch without knowing what it's about.
SeI follows the stories of six couples. And my summary rhymes, people! AND HAS NO SPOILERS.
I.
There once lived a young couple, Ashu and Tehzeeb.
They were young, very gorgeous, and so not glib:
Ashu was Hindu and Tehzeeb Muslim was
In order to rhyme I switched verbs just because.
Never fear, the religious differences mattered not,
As the sexy young things spoke the language of hot:
Their parents disowned them because the old folks were tools
Just think how cute the grandkids would be, silly fools:
They are married, in love, photogenic and fit,
That's how the audience knows the tragedy will hit:
When the tragedy strikes Ashu goes on the run,
He must find his beloved or be all undone.
He looks desperate and hot and he surely proves,
You must take care of your feet and they'll take care of youse.
(I would here post a picture of him racing instead,
But I am afraid the sheer hotness would disorder my head)
SHOCK and HORROR and capital letters abound.
Will Tehzeeb be OK? Or be put underground?
Will the dorama angst have a happy finale?
Will their love be destroyed or will poor lovers rally?
Poor Ashu, in danger of having just memories and solitude.
But to look on the bright side, the memories are gooooood:
II.
There once lived a scheming item girl Kkamini
The only thing that rhymes with her name is the word 'hominy:'
Kkamini was pretty and smart and sexy, though lacking in tact.
But all she'd get would be dance numbers in movies when she wanted to aaaaaaaact:
To change her scandal-ridden image, Kkamini came up with a plan.
Which was slightly less crazy than running naked through Rajastan
She invented a childhood sweetheart and named him Rahul.
And then suddenly the guy was there, acting all cool.
Should she faint, scream in horror? Or proceed with elan?
I'd go for the latter considering it's the hot Salman Khan:
What can Kkamini do? Who is this cheeky stranger?
Is she playing with fire, is her heart in danger?
Love?
Or craziness?
Or just a hot dance?
III.
Raju taxiwalla is a taxi driver with heart.
I loved him like crazy just right from the start:
Raju has been dreaming for years of this,
Meeting a blonde dream girl and marriage and bliss:
With a dance number or two thrown handily in,
He should get what he wants as his heart's pure and clean:
What he finds is a girl named Stephanie instead,
Who came to win back a scummy boyfriend who should have been kicked in the head:
Will she keep being blind or will she fall for Raju?
If she has any brains, heart or soul, she will love him, but if not, then I'll do:
IV.
Shiven is the most eligible bachelor around:
But he is so miserable he doesn't want to make a sound:
He's just gotten engaged to Gia
And is on the verge of a horrible hysteria:
Will he ever grow up before it's too late?
Give the boy a dance number and let's sit down and wait:
V.
Ramdayal and his bride just got married but don't have no luck:
All they want, poor things, is to snuggle and ****:
VI.
They might look like your parents but they really are not,
Unless your parents are wealthy and dancing and hot:
Poor Vinay hits forty and a midlife crisis and more.
Still if I were him I'd return this clearly faulty piano back to the store:
Will he stick with his wife or his fantasy life?
She'll either forgive him or stick him with knife:
