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dangermousieI got to the theater around 6:30 which was good as there was already a line all the way around the block. It was totally great though: People in costumes, TV crews (including Voice of America), people watching ANH and Clone Wars on their TVs and portables. Tents, lawn chairs, people from a radio station dressed as Darth Vader and Clone Troopers. Guy dressed like Luke with Yoda on his back. Darth Maul and Ayala Secura. People swapping stories of seeing TPM, of going to Celebration or general SW talk. Guy behind me was wearing “Thank the Maker” buttons ;) Yay! It was like one giant party, people talking, being helpful and friendly. Perfect. They also were handing out bags of swag, including a lightsaber spoon and a medal and a cool fold out. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katranna stopped by and made herself very popular by handing out sweets.
They let us in the theater at 10:30 which was nice of them. People were having mock Jedi combat in front of the screen (I felt like Palpatine, watching duels for my delectation), someone started a Star Wars version of Marco Polo with “R2” “D2” chant. Cheering, whistling, applause. Booing the trailers and the ads except for Batman Returns which got huge cheers (love my fellow geeks) and The Island (which had people yelling Obi-Wan). During the movie the audience was insane as well. Applause during many a point at the movie (including the Lucasfilm logo and Star Wars title), including any time Yoda, Anakin, Obi-Wan, or even R2D2 did anything heroic. And mad applause at the end. People were walking out stunned, saying they really liked it.
Now, on to the movie.
Oh My God.
I haven’t been this stunned by a movie, any movie, for a very long time. Not even Return of the King left me so utterly drained, so utterly speechless, unable to process it because it’s all so much to take in.
I am glad I won’t be able to see it again for a week, because I need to ruminate, to let it sink in.
This is the darkest movie I’ve seen in…well…forever. It ends with children murdered, democracy destroyed and evil totalitarian regime in power, good guys either twisted, dead or in exile, true love destroyed, and Anakin, the Hero, the Chosen One, a vibrant being full of life and youth as a broken, and completely enslaved chattel of the worst man in the galaxy. Only the knowledge the 20+ years in the future lies A New Hope makes it bearable. Though I don’t think I’ll be ever be able to look at Vader in his mask again without horror: thinking that behind that smooth mask there is Anakin, screaming, clawing to get out. Whoever says after this movie that Hayden Christensen can’t act should be shot out of a cannon. Not only does he portray a man on the brink of madness and loss of soul perfectly (and cudos to whoever did the make-up job and put those horrible shadows under his eyes. The book mentions he can barely sleep any more because of nightmares and worries, and his utter exhaustion and PTSD explain in part his fall), but when you see the Vader mask about to be lowered on him, he conveys only with his eyes (as the rest of his face has been destroyed) that the Vader mask is a prison, that he is trapped, doesn’t want to be in it. He is horrified by it. He just wants to die and now he cannot even achieve that.
And that makes me think about Obi-Wan. Wanting to kill Anakin I understand. I would have no problem if he decapitated him during their fight. Even if he dismembered him as he’s done and then killed him, I understand. But standing there, watching your former pupil claw at the sand and slowly burn is horrifying. He should kill him. Not for Anakin’s sake but for Obi-Wan’s sake. Because Obi-Wan is supposed to be good and not be inflicting unnecessary suffering on anyone. Side note: Anakin is better than Palpatine because (among other things) he does not enjoy inflicting suffering. He’ll do it if necessary but he is not getting a kick out of it, the way Palpy did with Mace and Yoda. That moment, with burning Anakin staring, staring, staring at Obi-Wan…Oh. My. God. In the book it is much more explainable: Obi-Wan senses the Imperials about to arrive and he doesn’t have time to kill Anakin if he wants to get Padme away. But in the movie…I am horrified. Anakin, who is Sith by that point, offered Obi-Wan a choice to walk away. Obi-Wan, a Jedi, let a man slowly to burn to death.
And if he didn’t stow away (what horrible bad timing), then I feel Padme could have convinced Anakin to go away. (Though Anakin is so powerful, where would they have gone?). And her last words, after all that has happened. “There is still good in him” She doesn’t know that Obi has “killed” Anakin. Oh, oh, oh, oh….I don’t want to be crying again. This completely confirms to me that Luke is Padme’s avatar. He has the same purity of love and belief in redemption. He is Anakin’s second chance, and this time Anakin takes it. Also, if he took it after 20+ years as Vader, which I am sure hardened him, how much more likely that he would have taken it in RotS, when he has not been hardened yet. Dammit, Obi-Wan! Though I wonder what Anakin would have done, if he took it. After he killed children, there is no way for him if he repents, but death. If he goes back to the person he was, he simply cannot live with himself. It is kill the Emperor, then turn the sword on oneself.
And may I say how I admire Lucas for going there. For having Anakin kill children. You can’t be redeemed if you haven’t fallen far far FAR down. If he was shown merely killing grown Jedi, or even if he killed the children when they attacked him first, it would be one thing. But his descent is shown in all its starkness. I felt horrified just to look at him afterwards. When he came and hugged Padme, I wanted to jerk her out of his arms, so she wouldn’t be contaminated by something unclean. But there, on Mustafar, after he so efficiently killed the Separatist leaders, and you see him there, standing, with a first quiet moment he’s had since he pledged himself, and you see him stand, with a look on his face I cannot bear to watch, crying, my heart broke for him and I remembered something Obi-Wan should have: he is just a man. Misguided, sorely tried, and used as a pawn by both Jedi and Sith. And so very young. Also, the look on his face when he faces the younglings when they ask for advice and you know he is about to kill them. It is a face of a man in hell, who knows he is in hell. But if you think about it, in his mind is it really that different from fighting the Separatists? He has never fought for ideals. He has been fighting this whole war for Padme. To save her, to ensure her a happy life, to protect her. For Padme and other people he cares about. This is no different, in a twisted horrifying way.
Do you know when I first started crying? It wasn’t any of the moments I expected. It wasn’t Anakin killing the children or Force-choking Padme. It’s when you see the Troopers execute order 66 and you see all the Jedi dying. Wasn’t the last time I cried though.
I don’t think I’ll be able to rewatch AotC again any time soon without crying the whole way through. I was as spoiled as it is possible to be spoiled without seeing the movie, but one moment totally caught me off-guard: Padme waiting in the shadows for Anakin after the battle, and him running, actually running to her, and spinning her in his arms. They were so happy, so normal, so young my heart broke for them all over again. And then the nightmares started. (btw, a fangirlish moment: they are shown sleeping in the same bed. Surely that is SW equivalent of Full Frontal). How tragic that in trying to save Padme, Anakin distances her from him (he tells her everything in the beginning but outright lies to her before he goes to Mustafar). And Anakin’s love is Anakin’s downfall. He is so much better than Palpatine: his goals are selfless. Palpy wants power and revenge. Anakin wants peace, justice and immortality not for himself, but for his wife. These are all admirable goals. It’s just the way he is twisted going about them that damns him. In a way, when siding with Palpy against the Jedi, he is picking Law over Justice. And his desire to have control is so understandable. It’s a reaction against powerlessness, a fantasy of a slave.
I cannot bear to watch Palpatine in this movie. He makes me want to scrub myself clean just looking at him. He twists and manipulates until Anakin (to whom people have never lied before. Not the Jedi, not his Mom, not Padme, not even his owners since he was a slave with an explosive devise in him, so no point in manipulating him, can just order him), until Anakin is completely lost. And look at the look of glee on Palpatine’s face when Anakin finds out he’s “killed Padme” and is in agony. Palpatine is drinking in the suffering, reveling in it, enjoying it. Not just because it ties Anakin closer to him, but because he likes to see the hurt.
And the Jedi. Don’t even get me started on the Jedi. Anakin sees that they see him as a tool. They tell him he is the Chosen One, but give him no power. They do not see him as a person, but as a weapon. They want him to do their dirty work (spy on Palpatine, making him violate his personal code of honor which prices loyalty above everything. That is why he so loses it with Padme. He feels she has been disloyal to him), but they won’t give him the rank of Master (yet another ossified organizational practice: no valid reason, just because “we have never done it before.”), and they won’t trust him. At least Palpy got to know him as a person, he feels.
And that brings me to Mace Windu. Who I dislike second to Palpatine now. Mace, who doesn’t trust Anakin even after Anakin tells him Palpy is Sith. Who won’t bring him along but make him sit and brood (that scene, with Anakin and Padme staring and mirroring each other’s movements in their separate rooms is amazing. And then he leaves, with the look of the damned on his face). Who goes as badly off the map as Anakin does, in his confrontation with Palpatine. He is supposed to arrest him, not kill him. If Palpatine was put on trial, he would collapse, especially with the separatists getting wind of this. But what do you think would happen if Anakin agrees with Mace and they kill Palpatine. Result: Two Jedi walked in and murdered the Chancellor? The Senate really won’t stand for it, and the result WOULD have to be a Jedi dictatorship, just as Palpy prophesied. And while in some ways it’s better than Palpy’s rule (Jedi don’t enjoy pain, also have more than one voice), still, the Republic is just as dead.
And that brings me to the scene that horrified me most in the movie. That made me cringe and grab the arms of my chair and not want to look. It is the scene when Anakin pledges himself to Palpatine. Right after his horror about Mace. Oh My God. I cannot watch. It is horrifying, utterly wrong to see him abase himself, to see him submit, more utterly than any minion. To say he will do anything, anything Palpatine asks. To kneel to him. The Chosen One, the Hero, kneeling and submitting to Palpatine like an abject slave to a Master. Giving over his soul, his spirit, his individuality, his sense of self. And that from a man who’s so far questioned every order the Jedi have ever given him, argued, been anti-authority etc etc. I really do get the feeling of Anakin becoming a slave again in that moment, a more complete slave than he was a child (because then his spirit was his own, unbroken), and knowing that this is what he is doing. You get an almost physical sense of degradation and self-abasement, of accepting absolute slavery, of demeaning oneself, and doing it consciously, in that scene. It’s like watching someone broken, someone’s humiliation. And you can’t watch.
It’s his way of saying “I’ll do anything to save Padme.” It’s also his way of dealing with the horror of what he’s done. He doesn’t want to think about it, he cannot think about it, so he pushes it to the back of his mind, negates himself (because otherwise he’d have to face himself) and tries to kill his own soul, submerge himself into will of another, because otherwise he cannot live (he does not succeed as his crying on Mustafar proves). That is also why he yells at Padme about Obi-Wan, betrayal etc (my heart breaks when he yells “Liar!”) because he cannot allow himself to face that she has not been turned against him, that she isn’t betraying him, siding with Obi-Wan, or whatever, but that she is turning from him because of what’s he’s done, because he’s done horrible things. He cannot allow himself to face that.
This has been very rambly and very long, so forgive me anyone who’s read to the end. But I simply had to pour it out.
katranna stopped by and made herself very popular by handing out sweets. They let us in the theater at 10:30 which was nice of them. People were having mock Jedi combat in front of the screen (I felt like Palpatine, watching duels for my delectation), someone started a Star Wars version of Marco Polo with “R2” “D2” chant. Cheering, whistling, applause. Booing the trailers and the ads except for Batman Returns which got huge cheers (love my fellow geeks) and The Island (which had people yelling Obi-Wan). During the movie the audience was insane as well. Applause during many a point at the movie (including the Lucasfilm logo and Star Wars title), including any time Yoda, Anakin, Obi-Wan, or even R2D2 did anything heroic. And mad applause at the end. People were walking out stunned, saying they really liked it.
Now, on to the movie.
Oh My God.
I haven’t been this stunned by a movie, any movie, for a very long time. Not even Return of the King left me so utterly drained, so utterly speechless, unable to process it because it’s all so much to take in.
I am glad I won’t be able to see it again for a week, because I need to ruminate, to let it sink in.
This is the darkest movie I’ve seen in…well…forever. It ends with children murdered, democracy destroyed and evil totalitarian regime in power, good guys either twisted, dead or in exile, true love destroyed, and Anakin, the Hero, the Chosen One, a vibrant being full of life and youth as a broken, and completely enslaved chattel of the worst man in the galaxy. Only the knowledge the 20+ years in the future lies A New Hope makes it bearable. Though I don’t think I’ll be ever be able to look at Vader in his mask again without horror: thinking that behind that smooth mask there is Anakin, screaming, clawing to get out. Whoever says after this movie that Hayden Christensen can’t act should be shot out of a cannon. Not only does he portray a man on the brink of madness and loss of soul perfectly (and cudos to whoever did the make-up job and put those horrible shadows under his eyes. The book mentions he can barely sleep any more because of nightmares and worries, and his utter exhaustion and PTSD explain in part his fall), but when you see the Vader mask about to be lowered on him, he conveys only with his eyes (as the rest of his face has been destroyed) that the Vader mask is a prison, that he is trapped, doesn’t want to be in it. He is horrified by it. He just wants to die and now he cannot even achieve that.
And that makes me think about Obi-Wan. Wanting to kill Anakin I understand. I would have no problem if he decapitated him during their fight. Even if he dismembered him as he’s done and then killed him, I understand. But standing there, watching your former pupil claw at the sand and slowly burn is horrifying. He should kill him. Not for Anakin’s sake but for Obi-Wan’s sake. Because Obi-Wan is supposed to be good and not be inflicting unnecessary suffering on anyone. Side note: Anakin is better than Palpatine because (among other things) he does not enjoy inflicting suffering. He’ll do it if necessary but he is not getting a kick out of it, the way Palpy did with Mace and Yoda. That moment, with burning Anakin staring, staring, staring at Obi-Wan…Oh. My. God. In the book it is much more explainable: Obi-Wan senses the Imperials about to arrive and he doesn’t have time to kill Anakin if he wants to get Padme away. But in the movie…I am horrified. Anakin, who is Sith by that point, offered Obi-Wan a choice to walk away. Obi-Wan, a Jedi, let a man slowly to burn to death.
And if he didn’t stow away (what horrible bad timing), then I feel Padme could have convinced Anakin to go away. (Though Anakin is so powerful, where would they have gone?). And her last words, after all that has happened. “There is still good in him” She doesn’t know that Obi has “killed” Anakin. Oh, oh, oh, oh….I don’t want to be crying again. This completely confirms to me that Luke is Padme’s avatar. He has the same purity of love and belief in redemption. He is Anakin’s second chance, and this time Anakin takes it. Also, if he took it after 20+ years as Vader, which I am sure hardened him, how much more likely that he would have taken it in RotS, when he has not been hardened yet. Dammit, Obi-Wan! Though I wonder what Anakin would have done, if he took it. After he killed children, there is no way for him if he repents, but death. If he goes back to the person he was, he simply cannot live with himself. It is kill the Emperor, then turn the sword on oneself.
And may I say how I admire Lucas for going there. For having Anakin kill children. You can’t be redeemed if you haven’t fallen far far FAR down. If he was shown merely killing grown Jedi, or even if he killed the children when they attacked him first, it would be one thing. But his descent is shown in all its starkness. I felt horrified just to look at him afterwards. When he came and hugged Padme, I wanted to jerk her out of his arms, so she wouldn’t be contaminated by something unclean. But there, on Mustafar, after he so efficiently killed the Separatist leaders, and you see him there, standing, with a first quiet moment he’s had since he pledged himself, and you see him stand, with a look on his face I cannot bear to watch, crying, my heart broke for him and I remembered something Obi-Wan should have: he is just a man. Misguided, sorely tried, and used as a pawn by both Jedi and Sith. And so very young. Also, the look on his face when he faces the younglings when they ask for advice and you know he is about to kill them. It is a face of a man in hell, who knows he is in hell. But if you think about it, in his mind is it really that different from fighting the Separatists? He has never fought for ideals. He has been fighting this whole war for Padme. To save her, to ensure her a happy life, to protect her. For Padme and other people he cares about. This is no different, in a twisted horrifying way.
Do you know when I first started crying? It wasn’t any of the moments I expected. It wasn’t Anakin killing the children or Force-choking Padme. It’s when you see the Troopers execute order 66 and you see all the Jedi dying. Wasn’t the last time I cried though.
I don’t think I’ll be able to rewatch AotC again any time soon without crying the whole way through. I was as spoiled as it is possible to be spoiled without seeing the movie, but one moment totally caught me off-guard: Padme waiting in the shadows for Anakin after the battle, and him running, actually running to her, and spinning her in his arms. They were so happy, so normal, so young my heart broke for them all over again. And then the nightmares started. (btw, a fangirlish moment: they are shown sleeping in the same bed. Surely that is SW equivalent of Full Frontal). How tragic that in trying to save Padme, Anakin distances her from him (he tells her everything in the beginning but outright lies to her before he goes to Mustafar). And Anakin’s love is Anakin’s downfall. He is so much better than Palpatine: his goals are selfless. Palpy wants power and revenge. Anakin wants peace, justice and immortality not for himself, but for his wife. These are all admirable goals. It’s just the way he is twisted going about them that damns him. In a way, when siding with Palpy against the Jedi, he is picking Law over Justice. And his desire to have control is so understandable. It’s a reaction against powerlessness, a fantasy of a slave.
I cannot bear to watch Palpatine in this movie. He makes me want to scrub myself clean just looking at him. He twists and manipulates until Anakin (to whom people have never lied before. Not the Jedi, not his Mom, not Padme, not even his owners since he was a slave with an explosive devise in him, so no point in manipulating him, can just order him), until Anakin is completely lost. And look at the look of glee on Palpatine’s face when Anakin finds out he’s “killed Padme” and is in agony. Palpatine is drinking in the suffering, reveling in it, enjoying it. Not just because it ties Anakin closer to him, but because he likes to see the hurt.
And the Jedi. Don’t even get me started on the Jedi. Anakin sees that they see him as a tool. They tell him he is the Chosen One, but give him no power. They do not see him as a person, but as a weapon. They want him to do their dirty work (spy on Palpatine, making him violate his personal code of honor which prices loyalty above everything. That is why he so loses it with Padme. He feels she has been disloyal to him), but they won’t give him the rank of Master (yet another ossified organizational practice: no valid reason, just because “we have never done it before.”), and they won’t trust him. At least Palpy got to know him as a person, he feels.
And that brings me to Mace Windu. Who I dislike second to Palpatine now. Mace, who doesn’t trust Anakin even after Anakin tells him Palpy is Sith. Who won’t bring him along but make him sit and brood (that scene, with Anakin and Padme staring and mirroring each other’s movements in their separate rooms is amazing. And then he leaves, with the look of the damned on his face). Who goes as badly off the map as Anakin does, in his confrontation with Palpatine. He is supposed to arrest him, not kill him. If Palpatine was put on trial, he would collapse, especially with the separatists getting wind of this. But what do you think would happen if Anakin agrees with Mace and they kill Palpatine. Result: Two Jedi walked in and murdered the Chancellor? The Senate really won’t stand for it, and the result WOULD have to be a Jedi dictatorship, just as Palpy prophesied. And while in some ways it’s better than Palpy’s rule (Jedi don’t enjoy pain, also have more than one voice), still, the Republic is just as dead.
And that brings me to the scene that horrified me most in the movie. That made me cringe and grab the arms of my chair and not want to look. It is the scene when Anakin pledges himself to Palpatine. Right after his horror about Mace. Oh My God. I cannot watch. It is horrifying, utterly wrong to see him abase himself, to see him submit, more utterly than any minion. To say he will do anything, anything Palpatine asks. To kneel to him. The Chosen One, the Hero, kneeling and submitting to Palpatine like an abject slave to a Master. Giving over his soul, his spirit, his individuality, his sense of self. And that from a man who’s so far questioned every order the Jedi have ever given him, argued, been anti-authority etc etc. I really do get the feeling of Anakin becoming a slave again in that moment, a more complete slave than he was a child (because then his spirit was his own, unbroken), and knowing that this is what he is doing. You get an almost physical sense of degradation and self-abasement, of accepting absolute slavery, of demeaning oneself, and doing it consciously, in that scene. It’s like watching someone broken, someone’s humiliation. And you can’t watch.
It’s his way of saying “I’ll do anything to save Padme.” It’s also his way of dealing with the horror of what he’s done. He doesn’t want to think about it, he cannot think about it, so he pushes it to the back of his mind, negates himself (because otherwise he’d have to face himself) and tries to kill his own soul, submerge himself into will of another, because otherwise he cannot live (he does not succeed as his crying on Mustafar proves). That is also why he yells at Padme about Obi-Wan, betrayal etc (my heart breaks when he yells “Liar!”) because he cannot allow himself to face that she has not been turned against him, that she isn’t betraying him, siding with Obi-Wan, or whatever, but that she is turning from him because of what’s he’s done, because he’s done horrible things. He cannot allow himself to face that.
This has been very rambly and very long, so forgive me anyone who’s read to the end. But I simply had to pour it out.
