Smallville: I love my alien gay son.

[dangermousie]

aliterati and I had a great time tonight watching the rest of Season 1 (well, actually just the Lex and Clark/Lex parts) and some of S3 (actually, just the Clark/Lex parts). Don't have S2...

Heee. The slash gets better and better. Never seen a show more canonically slash OTP heee.

At one point we were laughing and awwing and giggling so loudly, Husband said he could hear us down the hall (in case you are wondering which scene elicited it, it was the season finale for S1 when Lex is tying Clark's tie. There is Clark in the barn, trying to get the tie on and all and she just goes "wouldn't it be great if Lex walked in"...and he does. And he offers to tie his tie. Heeee. The competition for the slashiest episode is, if you'll pardon the pun, stiff. Could it be the Season Finale, with the tie-tying and Lex telling Clark the truth about looking for alien stuff (OK, Lex tells Clark the truth, I wish Clark would reciprocate), and going ballistic when Nixon tries to attack the Kents? Could it be Shimmer? Could it be the ep where thugs terrorize Luthor's house and Clark and Lex end up saving each other, or the one where Lex is kidnapped and Clark goes nuts trying to find and save him? Could it be the ep where Lex contemplates leaving Metropolis but then exchanges long long ardent gazes with Clark and he leaves him his sword, which Clark ends up (I am not making this up) stroking up and down? Could it be the S3's ep "Phoenix" where Lex shows up back from the dead (or at least malarial on a horrid deserted island) at Clark's place with the line (quoted verbatim) "Three months on a deserted island was almost worth it to see the look on your face right now." and they hug like crazy and Clark grins (poor Clark, he only has two expressions, the grin and the pout. But oh baby, I wouldn't kick him out of bed). Or the ep whose name I can't remember but which has Clark gaze at Lex in worshipful adoration that made me and aliterati clutch each other. Or "Nicodemus," where there is an evil plant on a rampage and plenty of soulful angsty gazing, not to mention the plant doesn't just turn Jonathan evil, but also apparently gay as he ends up checking Lex out (and who could blame him). Apparently evil stuff not only makes you evil, it also gives you an opposing sexual orientation (see Clark being evil and straight in the beginning of S3).

Though so far, my money is on the last ep we got to which was "Shattered." Good God, the OTPiness was through the roof and the slash meter was broken, what with Lex slowly going mad and running to Clark to hide in his barn and Clark breaking into Lex's house to get the evidence Lex needed, and then the bit where Lex is crooning to a baby he imagines (Clark and Lex would make lovely adoptive parents, heee) and Clark backing up Lex and going against his parents, walking away with Lex, and despite clear evidence something really is off with Lex. And then hiding him again, and going around and having his back (heee) throughout the whole ep no matter how erratic Lex gets. And then Lex shooting Edge who was beating up Clark and then losing it to his paranoid delusions and trying to shoot Clark too, and even after all of that, Clark uses his superspeed to get lex out of the way of the speeding car and breaks the car front, revealing his true nature to Lex. Alas, he then (understandably) disappears, considering Lex almost shot him and he didn't know evil medics were coming, and Lex ends up screaming Clark's name. Slashiness, thy name is Smallville. And considering this is also the ep where Lana (who as usual has so much make-up, he face must peel off) gets trampled by a horse, this is in the running for best Smallville ep ever.

Lex continues to be well...fabulous. And of so very very sexy and bi. I don't know why I find him so hot because I generally prefer hair. Must be the manner or something. He also seems to be addicted to purple. Clark on the other hand? Is so very gay that he is moving to San Francisco when the show is over. And he is so very gorgeous and kind, though he is so very dumb. aliterati compared him to a puppy. He is also cuter evil actually, and has a better haircut and better acting skills. I also like Lex's evil evil father who is so stylish and fucks with Lex's head and likes playing with Lex's balls. Billiard balls, that is. And Clark's Dad annoys the heck out of me. Judgmental, and full of platitudes and likes plaid. But oh, never has a show this bad (seriously, seriously bad. It ain't winning any Emmies for a reason) amused me so prodigiously.

Comments

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

Heh. Now maybe I'll go back and watch it from the beginning. But it is so bad. Yet so transfixing sometimes. And Clark *is* like a puppy.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Now all he'll have to do is wag his tail for Lex. Heeee.

The show is so much better if you have DVDs and can just ff through all the non Lex or Clark/Lex parts. Seriously, if I had to watch it in real time, I'd be not happy.

[rawles.livejournal.com]

Shattered is without a doubt the best episode of Smallville ever. Trust me, there's no contest. And, of course, the triumph of Meteor the Stompy Horse over the Pink Parasite is the most celebrated moment ever.

Though, it saddens me that you're skipping the Chloe/Lex. Oh my purple-shirted OTP.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

the triumph of Meteor the Stompy Horse over the Pink Parasite is the most celebrated moment ever.

We actually cheered.

you're skipping the Chloe/Lex. Oh my purple-shirted OTP

Haven't gotten to the second half of S3 yet though. I've enjoyed it in fanfic, it's just Clark/Lexiness sort of took over my brain :)

[rawles.livejournal.com]

It's in the first part of season three too. Of course, no need to pay attention to me. I am, admittedly quite obsessed with the saga of the Luthors and their Chloe. From Lionel menacing Chloe in the season premiere, to Chloe being upset about being the reason that Lex is targeted in Extinction, to Lex's promises of protection in Magnetic, to Lionel's warnings for her to stay away from Lex in Whisper, to the working together during the Adam arc, to the glorious confrontation in Truth, on into their dealings in the final episodes. *sigh*

Clark/Lex is at the center of everything, yes. As they are very, very gay. Of course, as a longtime Smallville watcher I have far too much bitter hatred of Clark to enjoy anything outside of season one Clark/Lex. Woe upon me.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I guess I missed plenty of stuff just by watching Clark/Lex. Must rewatch.

have far too much bitter hatred of Clark to enjoy anything outside of season one Clark/Lex

So far I managed to avoid Clark hatred by ffing through all the scenes where he isn't with Lex. It was surprisingly effective.

[rawles.livejournal.com]

Actually, you probably avoided it by not watching season two, which is almost everyone at their worst. Season one was back when even Lana was bearable. And if you only watch the Lex/Clark scenes in the first half of season three Clark is sort of sweet to Lex, especially in Shattered/Asylum.

But when you get to the second half of season three he starts noticeably being a judgemental, hypocritical asshole to Lex, so...

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Any reason why he switches?

I think I might just stop with first half of S3 then. When should I hit the brakes?

[rawles.livejournal.com]

It's not so much a switch as he was like that all through season two, so when he was actually a good friend to Lex in Shattered/Asylum THAT was anomaly.

Where to stop...geez. I never considered it really since I was used to hating Clark already when season three came around and found my solace only in the Chloe/Lex scenes.

Ultimately, you should probably just keep on until Clark starts to bug you. I mean, hey, maybe he won't bother you at all. Not everyone ends up hating Clark. I mean, I'm irritated with Clark as soon as Whisper (episode ten), but that's in relation to Chloe. As regards Lex, when Boone's storyline gets moving it's time to start backing away as that is when the ALL LUTHORS R INHERENTLY TEH EVIL shit starts up again. Clark also annoys me a lot in Velocity with his lying to Lex's face for no reason. And it's all downhill from there.

[emily-anne.livejournal.com]

Shattered truly is a thing of beauty, and one of the few episodes of the show that's really, properly good. Though actually I reckon that the next episode, Asylum, is even slashier, what with the first scene and then Clark doing that thing and then that other thing at the end...

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I enjoy SV a great deal, and your little recaps are taking me to a happy place this morning.

I'll be in my bunk.

[angelicus.livejournal.com]

Sadly, the way you're watching it is probably the best. I wish I hadn't had to suffer through all the Princess of Pink crap. That really made me hate Clark, the big lug.

Reading about your experiences watching it is quite entertaining, though. It makes me want to break out my DVDs of season 1 and watch the Clex.

[aliterati.livejournal.com]

No, damn it. Commentary on your livejournal is making me sad. Hate new slash obsessions because they make me unnecessarily emotionally vulnerable.

Must remember that this show sucks and that slash wins against all odds. Thinking of bowties.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

As regards Lex, when Boone's storyline gets moving it's time to start backing away

Thanks for the heads up. Ugh, you know, I really wonder how good the show could have been with this really good premise if it was written by people who actually knew how to do good shows. Kemper & Co, or Rob Thomas, or RM & Co (yeah, I know you don't like RM, but so far all the BSG eps with the exception of the Farm have been really really good and even Farm never got as bad as SV), or even Joss if you could keep him from being bored with it and leaving.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, evil girl, giving all those delicious slashy hints even though I have to wait till the weekend to watch this with aliterati (after we see Brokeback Mountain. We are going to have a slashy day, I suppose).

Shattered truly is a thing of beauty

Yeah, what happened. Did the writers get hit by the Good Kryptonite and where can we get it again.

Btw, Good Lord! Icon!!!!!! Is it from the show? It couldn't possibly be, alas, but it's hot anyway.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

LOL!

I kept hearing about the slashiness in SV before I started watching it, but never in my wildest imagination did I think it would be this slashy. Yay! I shall never be confused about why people slash any more, either, because Clark/Lex=OTP baby! :P

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

slash wins against all odds

Indeed. We can just stop with Asylum and go off into happy AU slash land. Considering we had 20+ hours worth of really slashy eps, I don't think there is too much to complain about :)

Thinking of bowties

I swear to God, the first time I read this, I thought you said "blowjobs"

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I watch a lot of stuff on 2x anyway because that way you can read the subtitles and watch faster, so unless it grabs me, that's what I generally do. But here, I realized quickly that I only liked Lex and Clark/Lex so I didn't care about the rest so I ended up 2x through most and Lana annoyed me so I 8x through her, and then aliterati joined me and we decided we should watch the non Lex or Clark/Lex parts on 8x and you'd be surprised how good the show got. And almost no Lana :)

Fortunately, as Season 1 went on, the "episodes" got longer and longer because they got slashier and slashier. And "Shattered" had almost no ff space. Yay!

[emily-anne.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what happened. Did the writers get hit by the Good Kryptonite and where can we get it again.

Well, I think it helped that it was written by Ken Biller, who was one of the few good ones before he jumped ship after season 3. Sadly Al Gough and Miles Millar, in their dubious wisdom, decided that season 3 was 'too dark' and the result was the crap fest that was season 4, where the main story arch involved Lana getting possessed by a 17th century witch. *shudder*

Btw, Good Lord! Icon!!!!!! Is it from the show? It couldn't possibly be, alas, but it's hot anyway

*g* Sadly it's a manip. Both parts are from season 4 episodes - Lex is from Bound, where we learn that sex is evil (unless it's between Clark and Lana, natch) and Clark is from Transference, the only really good episode of that season. Also it's technically Lionel, not Clark, but we'll just ignore that...

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Also it's technically Lionel, not Clark

Is duly boggled. Does Lionel want to get into Lex's pants that much? :P

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

And Clark's Dad annoys the heck out of me. Judgmental, and full of platitudes and likes plaid.

Bo Duke always amused me because I think he's symptomatic of the show's bigger problems. Like, I think the writers envisioned this rugged, moral heartland type and didn't really realize that Bo's day-to-day actions on the actual show reveal him as a judgmental jerk. Just like they don't realize that Clark is really kind of a whiny bitch who lies to his friends all the time.

Added Smallville amusement--try to spot them actually growing something on the Kent farm. Ever.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I keep wondering what on earth they grow on this farm? Marijuana? Moonshine? What?

Also, Daddy is not really that cool because he can't seem to keep his farm going, so he is not even self-reliant. If he didn't have Clark to rent to be friends with Lex, his farm would have gone under a long time ago.

[morwen_peredhil]

Even my husband agrees that SV is a thousand times better once you realize that Lex is screwing almost every other character on the show — male and female.

Over the last six months or so I have been Tivoing and watching S1-4 as they have been shown on one of our hi-def satellite channels, as well as watching the current season on our local station. Pretty soon I'll be all caught up and will have to wait for the new episodes each week. Sigh.

It's all so gloriously bad, but I love it! I had nothing to get disillusioned about because I had been warned in advance.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yup, I knew the show was bad from the start, but it's so deliciously fun.

Seriously, Lex can make a perfectly harmless phrase sound like an NC-17 innuendo.

[rawles.livejournal.com]

Oh that has been wondered about for many years. Indeed, nearly every episode at TWOP is generally 80% listing of ways that the show could be better. Actually...that's like every thread period.

And the fact that I hate Ron D. Moore is completely seperate from my judgement of the quality of BSG episodes, but I would certainly argue that The Farm wasn't the only bad episode of BSG. It's undoubtedly the worst, but every single other episode isn't a shining beacon of greatness. Of course, clearly it's quite difficult for anything to be as bad as Smallville.

Though, my issues with Ron D. Moore ARE with him as a showrunner, honestly, so while he would undoubtedly be an improvement over AlMiles I wouldn't rush to assign him to anything. In fact, AlMiles are really just a super-accelerated version of Ron D. Moore, in my mind. There's that same throw shit at the wall and see what sticks, short attention span quality. The only difference being that Ron D. Moore vaguely attempts narrative consistency, and then occasionally fails whereas AlMiles never attempt narrative consistency and very rarely stumble upon it by mistake.

In other news, there's actually a thread on the TWOP boards called "Smallville Goes to Buffy School" wherein the entire "How would this show be different if it were produced by Mutant Enemy?" question is explored extensively.