Open Letters to Pick the Stars characters

[dangermousie]

After watching ep 15 of Pick the Stars, my feelings of rage can only be contained in a series of open letters.

Dear Secondary Hag -

You bugfuck insane vicious bitch - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You have achieved your objective, roping in your stalking victim, only through blackmail and the man loathes the sight of you. Let's see, should you

(a) ehhhh, it's clearly not working out, what kind of miserable marriage would this be? Tell him you changed your mind.
(b) he might hate you but he's hot - you tell him marriage to him would be miserable but nobody needs love for a one-night-stand - revise your blackmail to this more sustainable objective.
(c) You are an optimist. He may not love you now but with some patience (which you can afford to exercise seeing you guys are engaged) he will!
(d) How dare he not be ecstatic! Your shall yell at him and threaten him and be offended he is not excited by your wedding dress and try to make his life even more miserable than it already is. Did I mention the part about slapping his housekeeper because you think he may like her? I mean, you won him fair and square through blackmail of the worst kind - how dare he not be in love with you and how dare some other hussy be in his vicinity even?

If you picked (d), congrats, Secondary Hag.

I honestly do not get what goes through your head. You are ecstatic about marrying someone who cannot stand you and makes his feelings clear. Leaving aside the monumental evilness - what kind of marriage do you think you will have?

Please die painfully in a fire,

- Me.

Dear Jun Ha a.k.a. Slimy Younger Brother I Hate -

I have a confession to make - at one point of the episode I fantasized about twisting your head right off. Objectively speaking you are a very good-looking man but I am afraid I will not be able to picture your actor, Shin Dong Wook, in anything else without shuddering.

I don't hate you because you are an OTP interloper - you are not. I hate you because of (a) your long and devoted championship of the Hag getting what she wants. All well and good but what she wants is your brother who is clearly going borderline mental because of it all. Shouldn't you be mildly concerned about it as you know he hates her - as opposed to getting in his face and making things worse; (b) your trying to manipulate Pal Kang. I don't care if your effort to get her to fall for you so Hag could have a clear path gotten transmuted into genuine feelings. I don't care. You know why? Because you are wooing her without any clear idea of a final goal or responsibility or anything - it's because this is fun. Doing this to a woman who needs to claw her way out of poverty and has five small children to support is unconscionable. Ooooh, how fun, making her fall for you - unless you are sure you will be ready to take responsibility for her and her brood, doing this is sick sick sick. (Heck, Kang Ha's feeling is a genuine one for sure and he never did a pushy wooing of any sort because he realized that. He's supposed to be the emotionally-challenged one. I guess you are just evil).

I laughed so hard at you when you lunged to hug Pal Kang when you saw your brother (so he'd misunderstand) in a classic evil-other trick and Pal Kang shoved you off and yelled at you and your stupid trick failed.

Go away and die please. Take Hag with you.

No love,

- Me.

Dear Tae Gyu -

Grow the fuck up.

- Me

Dear Pal Kang -

You are awesome and a trooper and I have no idea how you manage coping with a stressful job, raising 5 kids AND dealing with 3 men who drive you insane plus an evil Hag. My hat is off to you and I adore you. But please please don't cry - I know learning your parents were murdered is horrifying, but please don't cry. It makes me almost as upset as it does Kang Ha and I can't reach through the screen and give you a hug.

P.S. When hag slaps you, please slap her back. Hard enough to break her nose.

P.P.S. He's hot, he's in love with you, and he doesn't lock his door at night. What are you waiting for? Go for it, girl, I am dying for some OTP action here!

All my love,

- Me

Dear Kang Ha -

You were totally dying to hold her and comfort her when she was crying. DO IT. Then maybe you can lean in and kiss her, too, for good measure, before I expire from all the UST.

Also, I feel really really awful for you and your incipient nervous breakdown but it has a simple solution - TELL HUG TO PLEASE BUG OFF. Your brother is a slimeball who deserves all the hurt he gets, but even if not, he is a grown-up and he will get over the birth stuff and you are still brothers whatever the parentage. I know it's hard for you to grasp that with your abused background, so get Parang to tell you about how all his siblings are not related either. Maybe he could do it ASAP if you didn't kick him out of your bedroom - and what was the point of that, pray? It made him unhappy and made you feel awful.

In conclusion - I am totally impressed by how awesome you turned out to be.

Keep up the good work,

- Me.

P.S. FOR GOD'S SAKE GRAB HER AND KISS HER AND THEN MAKE OUT AGAINST THE WALL!

Comments

[mishane.livejournal.com]

ARGH! I'm behind on this, I need to catch up!!

That's the bad thing about reading the DB recaps; it sates my curiosity but then makes it so that I'm not in a rush to watch the episode. I had to stop myself from reading the Women Who Gets Married (whatever it's called) recaps because if I keep reading them, I won't want to actually watch the drama. GRRRR.

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

Is it just me or does Secondary Hag resemble the Secondary Evil Bitch Queen from Bali?

I really never understood her. I mean, the guy has no interest in you what makes you think he'll be nice to you once you blackmail him into marriage? I guess she's hoping for Stockholm Syndrome?
logic!fail

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I think she is even crazier than the Bali girl because at least Bali girl never claimed to be in love with prospective hubby or want him to love her baaaaaack.

It was all pride and possessiveness.

But crazy girl here claims to love him and wants to win his love - I am confused how she thinks blackmailing him and wrecking his life is going to do that.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Catch up - it is totally beyond adorable and moves very fast :)

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

I am confused how she thinks blackmailing him and wrecking his life is going to do that.
Nothing good can come of someone with brains like hers running a huge corporation. Her grandpa should be worried.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Well, heroine is actually also his (secret) granddaughter. I am not sure how well she can run a corporation but at least she possesses common sense and is also not stupid enough to engage in illegal activity (I am sure blackmail is illegal in Korea).

I mean, I can imagine Hag try to do a deal - 'what do you mean they don't like our offer? Break their executives' knees until they agree!'

Also, I keep LOLing that since Hag obviously can't admit she blackmailed her fiance into engagement she goes around beaming telling everyone the guy is marrying her because she begged and pleaded so much he finally gave in. Yeah, that's something to be proud about.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Well, heroine is actually also his (secret) granddaughter. I am not sure how well she can run a corporation but at least she possesses common sense and is also not stupid enough to engage in illegal activity (I am sure blackmail is illegal in Korea).

I mean, I can imagine Hag try to do a deal - 'what do you mean they don't like our offer? Break their executives' knees until they agree!'

Also, I keep LOLing that since Hag obviously can't admit she blackmailed her fiance into engagement she goes around beaming telling everyone the guy is marrying her because she begged and pleaded so much he finally gave in. Yeah, that's something to be proud about.

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

I mean, I can imagine Hag try to do a deal - 'what do you mean they don't like our offer? Break their executives' knees until they agree!'
Bwahahahaha I can totally picture this!

she goes around beaming telling everyone the guy is marrying her because she begged and pleaded so much he finally gave in
WHY WOULD YOU BRAG ABOUT THAT? What is this woman on?
Crazy is the only thing that explains it.

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

no idea why this ended up as a whole new comment separate from the thread.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha I can totally picture this!


And then she'd be surprised when they are not excited.

WHY WOULD YOU BRAG ABOUT THAT? What is this woman on?


Well, it is the same woman that told the guy he should have agreed to date her when her grandpa asked him to (because she begged grandpa to do so) because by not agreeing he humiliated the grandpa (and then she smacked him).

Brain = not working.

Though I suppose even she realized nobody would buy 'he fell in love with me' excuse especially since he usually acts like she is toxic when he is around her.

But seriously, why would she want him? He doesn't love her, he doesn't like her, he is physically repulsed by her (thus unlikely to be fun in bed), he has a super-brusque personality and always tells her to go jump of a building (and is unlikely to stop after marriage - will probably increase). Short of her barricading him in the house, he will just probably move into the office and tell his secretary not let her in, once she is Mrs.

Not to mention he comes from an abused/dysfunctional background so he doesn't know how to interact normally well to start with - shouldn't she be worried he is going to turn into his father one of these days? Or emotionally not there at all like his mother?

I mean, honestly, why does she want him is beyond me. It can't be the hotness - she doesn't need to marry him for that.

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

This. I will never understand following around a guy who clearly has no interest in you and then forcing him to be with you = happiness. He is clearly going to be like a zombie around you. And if she thinks that he'll start to love her eventually then she's dead wrong. I doubt he'll forgive and forget about how she blackmailed him.
And if she really loves him as much as she claims then she should know that she'll never win him over acting this way.

Ugh she's such a selfish twat.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I used to think kdramas exaggerated the craziness and then I read about all the kpop fans who write letters in blood or issue deaththreats to people who date (or even talk) to their idols etc and I am thinking there must be a lot of nutters running around :)

The thing that makes it extra-bizarre in crazy girl's case is that she never had any encouragement to go by - he's always been indifferent at best. It's not like she is not able to move on or something - there's nothing to move on from. It's bizarre - she is rich, well-educated, not so hideous as to repulse people, and can hopefully hide her awful personality at least a little - she can get some other guy, why be hung up on this one?

[sodahands.livejournal.com]

mishane told me about some writing a letter in period blood D: so i'm can totally see kdramas drawing inspiration from crazy fans for their villains

that reminds me of an episode of criminal minds where a guy was convinced that this girl (who had no clue who he was) was in love with him and she just didn't know how to express it so he stalked her for a couple years, gave her presents, stole her dog, threatened her etc. before going to jail. you describing her as a stalker is pretty spot-on imo :D

[ambergold.livejournal.com]

ahahahah. this is one of the funniest things I've read all work. It's also simultaneously encouraging and discouraging me from watching this - I am workign my way through it very slowly due to busyness and other dramas but the main reason is that I know it takes so freaking long for any OTP action! I mean, what ep are you on now and what's there been, one hug? aiyah. I mean, Brilliant Legacy was like that too but on the upside there was tons and tons - pretty much constant - OTP interaction at least. This one - seems like it only gradually becomes a plot point. I'm on ep 5 and that's about the number of times they've been onscreen together.

oh! and I started When It's at Night and it's adorable:)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yay re WIAN!

They actually begin to have a lot of OTP interactions shortly after ep 5, I promise - maybe ep 7 is where it starts? :)

[yunhalove.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOO. Shin Dongwook was so amazing in Soulmate, though- you can't let the suckiness that is Junha tarnish his general awesome. DDDDD: I can relate though. Honestly, my fondness of his character in Soulmate is the only thing that is keeping me from wanting to claw his face off here. It's just sad that he can go from playing perfectly likeable lead roles to cowardly secondary ones.

But yeah. Hag needs to hurry up and gdiaf so that Kang squared can go make multitudes of babies to add to their already enormous list.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

The problem with Secondary Girl, for me, is that she's gotten so repulsive (I don't remember a character I loathed this much since stepmom in Brilliant Legacy) and she is on screen so much that it's ruining the drama for me - I get so irritated when I see her on screen I end up grumpy by the end of the ep. It's gotten so bad that if I had any willpower I'd wait until the last 5 eps were done and just skip her parts reading summaries for them. Seriously. She is not even fun to hate, she's just plain hateful.

Re: Jun Ha. Ugh. I honestly nominate him for worst sibling ever. Whatever is going on in his head re: PK, shouldn't he exhibit at least some brotherly concern that his brother (as he thinks) is marrying a woman who blackmailed him into it by threatening suicide? Yet he is too busy trying to one-up the guy to care.

I like this dramas' good characters but the evil ones have been too prominent lately. Grrrrr. Why can't they all fall off a cliff and we get to watch family hijinks.

Re: preview. Am I going insane or is PK seeing shelter in a storm with the murderer?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'll be able to watch Soulmate any time soon - not until my views on JH (I want to twist his head off) calm down a bit. He is so horrible.

Re: Kang Squared (perfect name btw) - yes, they need more babies of their own. LOL at Mr. Icy OCD ending up with a gigantic brood.

[puion.livejournal.com]

dangermousie, is there only 16 episodes of this?

[kitkat-cat.livejournal.com]

And i thought that crazy Hag was already crazy enough in the brainrot that was Temptation of Wife, where coincidentally, she had the 'mother' if you know what i mean.

In ToW, she was some stupid witch who was crazy in love/lust with her adopted brother and her mother kept saying that she wanted her daughter to be loved and didnt like the idea of her 2 'kids' together...i mean, 'sib-cest' anyone!?

For for PalKang and KangHa, seriously, they just need to make out somewhere and make more babies. Ep 16 better deliver is all i'm saying!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I need them to make out - it's driving me insane.

I do not get the Hag - whatever her weird reasons, who wants a husband who is always a step from strangling you?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Nope, 20 :)

[(Anonymous)]

Secondary Hag is the first drama character I hate sooooooooo much! I want to push her from a cliff myself!!! (going to buy a plane ticket for Korea right NOW!!!!) What exactly is she expecting from this marriage??? To be hated by her husband and to make suffer during all his life? What's her goal that he commit suicide after he cut her into small pieces, or WHAT???? Makes me crazy!

And poor Kang Ha is soooo pitiful! Trying to cut himself off from Pal Kang and Parang too (so heart wrenching!) And for the sake of his damn brother!!!!! He's just dying to take them him his arms (with different purposes....) He's just slowly dying....

Really he HAS to know Pal Kang iblings are not blood related so he will be more free to choose for himself. Plus he hes to understand that being (half) brither with Jun Ha doesn't mean he has to accept everything from him!

Emma

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

What's her goal that he commit suicide after he cut her into small pieces, or WHAT????

Seriously. This marriage's best case scenario is his yelling at her on the rare occassions he sees her. Why does she want that?

Maybe I should send her a copy of 'All This and Heaven Too' - in that movie there was a couple in an unhappy marriage and the wife was horrid and the guy loved another woman so he finally snapped and killed wifey in a gruesome fashion and then killed himself. Not a good solution for either of them.

He's just dying to take them him his arms (with different purposes....)

The scene where Parang hugged him ... awwww! And he totally was dying to hug and comfort Pal Kang when she was upset over the client. Awwww.

he hes to understand that being (half) brither with Jun Ha doesn't mean he has to accept everything from him!


Yup. Jun Ha isn't being the world's greatest brother and is also a grown-up, let it be, Kang Ha.