I bet flappers used to swoon over this!

[dangermousie]

Bwahahaha! I am reading Louise Gerard's infamous Son of the Sahara, a torrid 1920s romance novel.

Our hero a desert sheikh* (but who goes by a French name and pretends to be French when he travels) out for revenge against a British officer who has killed his father, has just met our heroine, who happens to be the officer's daughter. And it is loltastic and awesome.

First she saves his life when he is drowning by towing him to safety bodily.

Then he mistakes her for a boy.

Then she invites him up to her room at night and dresses up as a girl (as she is) instead to shock him.

Then he makes bossy comments about how she should not keep her hair short and she snarks back at him without any shyness (sample):

'Do you always do as you like?' he asked.
'Always. It is an excellent habit to cultivate, and one you've cultivated to the fullest by the look of you, since criticism is the order of the day,' she replied.

Did I mention her name is Pansy? LOL.

I bet he is going to make her fall for him, kidnap her to his eeeeeeeeevil harem, and then fall madly for her instead and aaaaangst as (a) this book has been dropping anvil hints about how he doesn't view women as worthy of anything more than fun boinking and there is all this talk about his ex wishing him to suffer painfully in agony of love for someone who doesn't want him so he'd know how nice that feels and (b) I've read 1920s romance novels.

Actually, shockingly, I rather adore the heroine so far - she's smart, sharp-witted and sharp-tongued, and a great deal of fun. And *gasp* I even like the hero so far (with a 1920s novel of that sort, I am sure it will change at some point - it's even money as to whether there will be a rape scene in this one). I enjoy their bantering and they view each other as equals and he's totally fallen for her already. Of course...he doesn't yet know whose daughter she is...ooooooh.

* In keeping with conventions of 1920s romance novels like that, he's not really an Arab, of course. It would be horrible to let a non-European man sully a white woman! *gasp* When his French mama was kidnapped by the evil sheikh who was his father, she was already preggers with her French husband's child. A fact nobody but the reader knows.

ETA: Oh, the symbolism, you slay me! For Pansy owns this super-powerful stallion (harharhar) which was a former race-horse and who doesn't like anybody but her and whom she rescued and took in even though he mauled her badly because she saw that it wasn't the horse's fault but the fault of his abusive surroundings. And now the horse is totally her slave. Ahahahahaha. Louise Gerard, you aren't even being subtle, are you? Oh, I could make so many riding jokes!

ETA2: If you want to read the book on-line, it is here. Just scroll up to the beginning.

ETA3: Wow, color me shocked, I flipped through the book and there doesn't seem to be any raping! What is the world coming to when a 1920s sheikh novel doesn't have any? :P (I kid, I kid, I am rather relieved. Phew). There's still kidnapping and keeping in harems (and rescuing from a pack of hyenas, huh?) but that's all fine.

ETA4: Bwah! He's fallen for her madly and he still doesn't know who she is. This will be enjoyable. Plus, he's just pulled a Domyouji and waited for her for three hours and then she finally showed up and there was making out and his begging her to marry him asap all super-desperate and it's all rather..gasp...adorable.

ETA5: Score one for the ladies! After all the making out she was all 'fine, fine, I'll marry you in a month' but now in the morning she is all 'that was silly. I love him but my freedom is more awesome' and writes him a note to that effect, basically dumping him. Ahahaha. And he was going to convert to Christianity for her sake and pretend to be French because she was afraid she'd freak about his 'true nature'. Bwahahahahahaha serves you right. And now he's all desperate and begging and it's all verrrrrry sexy.

ETA6: *gasp choke* When she repeats to his face she doesn't want to marry him because she wants freedom, "Give me the nights, Pansy," he whispered, "and the days I'll leave to you. Oh Miss Gerard, does your Mom know what kind of things you put in your books? For shame! :)

ETA7: Ahahahahaha, he discovered the truth and now he knows he should hate her but he can't because he still luuuuurves her and there is angst. That's going to put a wrench into his whole 'I shall kidnap my enemy and his daughter and sell them into slavery' vengeance plans. LOL

ETA8: "Love had leaped out of its scabbard of hate." You have not seen purple prose until you read this book. And now he believes she is dead because of him and is in aaaaaaagony. *slurps*

ETA9: She is horribly wounded (because she asked an officer to shoot her before marauders who were acting on hero's orders (though she did not know it) took her alive and he is all tortured and horribly guilty and nursing her. I am so enjoying the cheesefest.

ETA10: "Raoul," she siad faintly.
It was more a sigh than a word. But his name whispered so feebly brought him kneeling beside her couch, bending over her eagerly.
"My darling, forgive me," he whispered passionately.
He bent his head still lower, with infinite tenderness kissing the white lips that had breathed his name so faintly.
Pansy's eyes closed again. A look of contentment came to mingle with the suffering on her face.

That is hurt/comfort pr0n, seriously!

Also, how are those plans to sell her into slavery as revenge upon her Daddy going? They seem to have been strangely...shelved. Ha.

Though a word to the wise - your new plan of 'she is going to love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whoooooo!' might meet with a slight hitch once you do the whole 'I am going to sell your father, my sworn enemy, as a slave.' I am getting the feeling she is going to be pissed no matter how hot you are. Trust me. Women are weird that way.

Did I mention how irritating it is that her father is all 'yesss, my daughter got shot, and now she is dead and not in some Arab's hands.' WHUT? I know outdated honor notions and all that but seriously - she'd be way better off even as some random dude's slave (let alone Sultan's adored n.1 wifey) than dead! That way she can eventually escape or whatever. Stop being so Victorian, old dude.

ETA11: Honestly, don't you think selling her at a market (even if it's fake-selling, to piss off her father) is going to make her hate you even more? Seriously. Brain. Find it. Ok, ok, you aren't too dumb, hero - you ride in on your big horse under your European name and 'rescue' her so she'll love you even more. LOL, this book is ridiculously delicious.

ETA12: She finds out the truth! And tells him she hates him and hits him hard enough to draw blood. Yay! And there is still no raping. I can't believe there is a 1920s romance hero who actually figured out that raping girl you love is a bad thing as it will mean she'll hate you for good. I am shocked, shocked, shocked.

ETA13: Finished. If I was going to hear about the awesomeness of 'white ways' one more time - !!! Also, the government being all 'ah, OK, we won't hang you because you are actually white.' Don't get me started. But at least hero and heroine can make out all day now.

Comments

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee! I loved this so much I went and DL-d the PDF - and I'm already cracking up at the preface - "if it is frank, forgive it. Life near the Equator is not a milk and water affair."

(Plus, the author thanks her dear friend - another lady named Dorothea something -in terms that make me wonder a bit ... :P)

Wow, color me shocked, I flipped through the book and there doesn't seem to be any raping! What is the world coming to when a 1920s sheikh novel doesn't have any? :P

Well, there's the stuff at the beginning of the book, but at least it isn't disguised as something else, huh?

[sisterjune.livejournal.com]

This sounds ridiculous and campy in the best way. Even more hysterical is how the french author made sure that the hero didnt even have a DROP of arab blood in him. Actually no that was less hysterical. Alot less. But then the french's issues with arabs is hardly anything new and at that point in time I suspect that the french still had various colonies in the middle east *glares at europe collectively*. Anywho, this sounds like a laugh, I think I'll bookmark that link to read it. :)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Well, there's the stuff at the beginning of the book, but at least it isn't disguised as something else, huh?

Oh yes. But I meant the hero isn't doing any raping of the heroine - which is pretty surprising. 1920s ladies' novels loved their rape scenes (The Sheik is basically wall-to-wall rape until she likes it and then it's wall-to-wall making out).

"if it is frank, forgive it. Life near the Equator is not a milk and water affair."

I really wanted to quote that. It made me laugh so much.

But the whole book makes me giggle. How about this one? "She thought of the man who had feasted so freely on her lips that night in the moonlit garden of Grand Canary. She wanted no man's kisses but his, no man's love but his, and his race and colour barred him out from her forever."

The way she thinks, you'd think he's from a different planet and she's worried their body parts won't work right together. *rolls eyes* (Though at some point later she decides she wants to marry him anyway, hmmm).

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yeah - she was very sure to repeatedly explain that he was 100% French (though surprisingly, the girl agreed to marry him before she found that out). Near the end of the book (I peeked), he begs her to teach him her "white ways." I am not making that up! (And hopefully those white ways won't include sticking just to missionary position :P)

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee hee! OK, the other thing is that everyone has waist-length blonde curls (Annette AND Pansy!) Have they never heard of cutting their hair? Surely more practical in desert climes :P)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Pansy chops her hair short by the time she grows up (a fact that meets with much criticism from the hero). Just as well because otherwise my belief that he has a mother-complex would be even stronger!

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee! Yes, I got to the point where he has short hair. (But one of the Sultan's harem has hair down to her FEET! EXTREMELY INCONVENIENT!)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

The author seems to have a hair fetish. At least in the harem she has nothing to do but have slaves take care of it.

Though the harem presents another problem - if I were Pansy, my real fears wouldn't be hero's 'alien' race/religion or his vengeance plans, but the amount of STDs he must be carrying. I wouldn't let him within 2 ft of me without a doctor's certificate.

Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

That's got to be a euphemism, right?

This sounds so beautiful. So very, very beautiful.

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee! I hadn't thought about the disease aspect! But you're right :P

OK, so I'm at the part where Pansy has found out that "he is of a different race" and they've just met again at Grand Canary and he's all cold and indifferent to her. EXCEPT NOT! DUN DUN DUN!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

She is still going on about his race in her head about a 100 pages later (but is all 'hmmm, I am rich and he is really hot -- maybe?' I am amused).

I am also amused at how of course the blonde English girl is the hottest thing Arabs ever saw and they all go mad for her.

And I am utterly shocked that I came across a 1920s hero who actually has the brain-power to have the thought process of 'I want her, but if I rape her, she won't love me anymore but will hate me, so I won't.' Let's see if he keeps it up but for now I am shocked.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I hoped it would be but sadly it's all PG so far.

I am still in shock, however, that there is a rare trashy 20s novel hero who has progressed to figuring out that 'raping girl I like is bad idea as she'll hate me.' Shock.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

But it sounds like he thinks selling her dad into slavery won't have the same effect, so he's still clearly of the dropped on his head as a child school of love.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but see, that depends on how she feels about her dad. So selling her parent into slavery is DEFINITELy a step up :P (Also, I find her father really annoying anyway.)

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Actually, I thought so too but he has a Cunning Plan (tm). She doesn't know Evil Sultan and the guy she fell for are one and the same so his plan is to have the sultan sell her and then him (under his French name) to rescue her and buy her etc and then she will be grateful to him for the rescue from evil sultan.

Of course, the flaw is she eventually finds out the truth but at least it's not straight-out retarded. :)

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

His father's fixation on death before dishonor is all well and good when it comes to himself but when he wants it for his daughter, it's a bit creepy.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Yeah, EXACTLY! That (and the fact that her childhood friend was going to SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD so she didn't fall into the hands of the Arabs, which, at that point, you know, they might have RANSOMED her for all the English people knew) kind of makes me not care about them at all!

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

At least, the shooting in the head was with her express consent but her father doesn't even know that!

And honestly. Even if it wasn't for ransom, a Victorian would consider me wicked, no doubt, but life as a sexual slave is still better than being dead. You have a chance to escape the former!

ETA: wow, you read fast. Where are you now? I am in the part where she has stopped a whipping of some other evil harem girl with her English awesomeness. This thing would have been such a fun silent movie.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Heh! I'm a little bit past that part. (Poor Evil Harem Girl! SHE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED :P)

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Did you get to the part where heroine's father is glad that if she has to whore herself out at least it's to a hot European-looking dude who is well dressed? Seriously, that father is a prize.

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHA! YES! THAT PART WAS !!!!!!!!!!

Re: Love leaped out of its scabbard....

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

The best part is that he is supposed to be the epitome of an honorable Englishman. Wow.

Now I am at the part where she escapes and is surrounded by hyenas.

I simply must seek other Louise Gerard books after this. They are much more cheesy than Ethel M. Dell (another 20s author I like) which makes them priceless.

[(Anonymous)]

Of course, all this European speech about "white ways" is ridiculous. But all societies and/or cultures are guilty of these kind of prejudices (in a way or another)...
Just look at the way Hollywood presents others cultures, NOW. Isn't it most ridiculous most of the time? Or even the way our beloved Kdrama present foreigners? Etc...

So let's be humble and reflect upon ourselves before we judge and condemn others... :-)

Emma

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

It sounds rather like a proto-shoujo. Except the "white guys are awesome" part.

ETA: Also, no more boggling at my ability to find Awesomely Bad (Or Just Bad) books for you.

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

Since the writer wrote Mills and Boons novels in English, I doubt she was French. But yeah, that doesn't invalidate your point, and it's not like the British (who had more colonies in the Middle East) were more enlightened.

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

Okay, this sounds kind of awesome. I think I'll try it for when I need a laugh.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

It is totally hilarious (though the racial stuff starts grating after a while, even if it's *gasp* nowhere near as bad as some other books of the period I've read).

Plus, 20s romance with no raping? A true rarity.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I could try to couch it in feminist terms (though popular 'downmarket' novels by women for women, derided as trashy by critics, existed as far back as 19th century and even a bit in 18th, the turn-of-the-20th-century ones are the most easy to find) but honestly - I just love cheesy dated, turn-of-20th-century romances.

Even if I do miss the sex :)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I find Hollywood/Bollywood/kdrama racism useless too, so I am consistent :)

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

(though the racial stuff starts grating after a while, even if it's *gasp* nowhere near as bad as some other books of the period I've read.

Heee! I checked her name and saw that she wrote a book called Jungle Love. JUNGLE. LOVE. Love in the jungle with a noble (white) savage wearing a loincloth. Hot, humid jungle love. I don't even have words!

I'm sorry, these lady writers were freaky. In some ways, the 20s and early 30 were much more free than the decades that followed.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Some Heian women might sniff in disdain at your claims that it's a that recent a phenomenon. (Actually, I suspect it's older than that.)

[er-mused.livejournal.com]

I need to read this like now!!!!
But the link doesn't let me download, there isn't even a preview!!!! Help!

(btw, I thought McNaught's Perfect was pretty good too! haha BUT my favourite McNaught is Something Wonderful! hahahaha...I blame my mum, she grew up reading Mills and Boons....it embarrasses me sometimes!! LOL)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

There is no diwnload, it's just text in pdf format, page after page.

Click this:

http://books.google.com/books?id=P7QYAAAAYAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=louise+gerard&cd=2#v=onepage&q=&f=false

It shoulg give you the first page and the rest of them. There is also a dl button in upper right corner.

[er-mused.livejournal.com]

Thanks!!

Hmm, aren't you still on vacation? Why are you at your computer? =P

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Am back :)