An open letter to romance novelists

[dangermousie]

After reading a bunch of romance novels and emerging with my sanity sort of intact, here are the four things I want all the romance novelists to note:

1. If I never see the word "rake" in the book title, it will be too soon. Unless said book is about gardening.

2. There were no turkeys in Medieval England. Just trust me on that one.

3. "Her core was molten lava" is never a good thing unless you are describing a mad scientist's doomsday devise.

4. Well-behaved, reserved, socially conscious and conventionally gentlemanly men can be attractive. More so then the undoubtedly syphilis-ridden bad boys with caveman manners you seem to prefer.

I did find two books I really like, which deserve their own post (Suzanne Enoch's England's Perfect Hero and Lisa Kleypas' Because You Are Mine) so not all was wasted.

Comments

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

The abundance of rakes makes me think that either (a)no woman actually got married as a virgin, even if her father kept her locked in a closet from the day she was born and (b) the courtesans and married women/widows who take lovers never have a chance to get out of bed. In fiction, of course.

I now live in fear of encountering the book #3 is from.

I've generally enjoyed Enoch and Kleypas, though I haven't read either in a few years. Enoch's regencies stopped grabbing me as much after a while (once she got really popular, basically), but I liked the contemporary books she wrote about a Godzilla movie-loving thief who hooks up with a rich British dude and habitually breaks into his house to keep in shape after she quits being a thief. She only wrote a few of those, though.

[calixa.livejournal.com]

I like Lisa Kleypas in general; her latest book in the Hathaways series is my favourite from her. It's called "Love In The Afternoon". Think Cyrano de Bergerac, except with the roles reversed. Loved it.

[minerva-fan.livejournal.com]

No. Seriously, hon. Tell us what you really think....

[ockoala.livejournal.com]

I just finished the newest Loretta Chase, and its the only one of hers I'd liked a lot since her classic Lord of Scoundrels.

It's called Last Night's Scandal and its on kindle. The OTP are young, and BFFs since childhoood. I love their relationship, very realistic and sweet and funny. It's not very challenging to read, but entertained me and I didn't FF-d like I do to 99% of romance novels I read lately.

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

1. Rake! I always think of the gardening tool when they do that.

2. Seriously? Turkeys? Huh.

3. Okay, I want to add: The word 'member' should be stricken from the English vocabulary in this context. So should 'manhood', 'throbbing', and 'gasp'.

I mean, the last isn't really a word anyway, so...

[shinystory.livejournal.com]

Romance novels are like the makjang of my literary selections. They're so bad they're good. I like Julia Quinn's, specially her Bridgerton books.

I also read one recently, At Last Comes Love by Mary Balogh. It's the third in a series of four, but it's the only one I read.

Well-behaved, reserved, socially conscious and conventionally gentlemanly men can be attractive. I'm with you here. :)

[sisterjune.livejournal.com]

1. Forever I will think of raking leaves when I see this word. Not but actually this word has become a helpful tool for me in helping me pick out novels. If I even see the word Rake anywhere in the excerpt or summary on the back or title, I avoid that book. Because I am so very sick of rakes and the ~virtuous ladies~ who love them. *hurls*
I know romance genre is not known for it's startling originality but damn if an author cant at least be a LEEETLE creative with her plot or character ideas, then I dont need to be reading their book. much too busy to spend time on books that are boring and riddled with cliches. (plus rakes are usually gross man whores with drinking problems or in my mind that's what they are, never in the novels are they acknowledged that way)

Lisa Kleypas! I've read a few of her books. She's good, but she does like her Alpha heroes. I am not really a fan of alphas and I mean I liked her Travis Family trilogy and all but more for the girls than the guys (well, I did kind of like Hardy tbh :x) otherwise the Alpha ness is a mega turn off for me. Like Dreaming of You is apparently a popular historical of hers, so I checked it out and uhh it wasnt bad and I appreciated that he wasnt born into wealth but the fact is he was still HELLA insanely wealthy which kinda wigged me out how crazy rich he was but also his personality was uber serious and brooding and aggressive and domineering and uh NO. I dont think he was an alpha-asshole like alot of alpha romance heroes tend to be but he was kind of overbearing tbh. So yeah, I dont always get into her novels largely because of that. Man I need more romance novels that are willing to play with power dynamics this man = strong and in charge thing bores the bejeezus out of me. -_-

[arathesane.livejournal.com]

#2 caused me to snort!

Hee, this entire list is fabulous.

[greycoupon.livejournal.com]

I left this page open in a tab for two days meaning to respond. Since I'm home sick I will now.

I've been reading romance novels steadily the last few months. Mostly listening actually.

1. Here, this to infinity. Was the term even that popular in Victorian/Regency England. Rake = really big asshole in quite a few books.

2. Or girls named Jennifer. I stopped reading one last week over that one.

3. That sounds like it was be very bad and painful toward his.... shaft of manliness?

4. Everyone was so damned pretty!

I need some new books. Comments mentioned Kleypas. I'm pretty sure the only of hers I've finished was Again the Magic. I'm giving her another shot although I hate books in a "series".

I like Julie Garwood although her midevils are completely "wallpaper", I think you call it.