dangermousie: (WSAYF by theheaven)
dangermousie ([personal profile] dangermousie) wrote2008-02-06 10:37 am
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Got this from Daily Mail and thought I was going to die laughing...

We REALLY are the weakest link - the hilariously wrong quiz show answers that prove Britain is dumbing down

Perfect proof that Britain is dumbing down comes from the toe-curlingly embarrassing answers given by many contestants on TV and radio general knowledge quiz shows. Here, CLAIRE COHEN presents some of the most outrageously stupid doing the rounds on the internet

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence.)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?


BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

White: I'll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . .?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?





LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.





THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.





BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton

DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?




UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?




GWR FM, Bristol

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.





RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland

Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The. .?

Caller: Mohicans.





RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

A: Forrest Gump.





LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.




NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Q: What is the world's largest continent?

A: The Pacific





RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. . .

Presenter: He makes bread. . .

Contestant: Err...

Presenter: He makes cakes . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?





THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?





BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)

Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.

Contestant: Shark.





JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?





CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er . . . Mexico?





PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)

Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.





DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.





THE VAULT (ITV)

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.




STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?

Contestant: Basketball.



DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)

Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?

Contestant: Enid Blyton.



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?

Contestant: Jelly.



FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.

Team: Chedpit.



SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)

Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?

Contestant: Six.

Tufnell: Higher!

Contestant: Five.



NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)

Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?



THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'j' is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway?



QUIZMANIA (ITV)

Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with T.

Contestant: Doctor.

Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.

Contestant: Oh, (pause) Doctor.



BIG QUIZ (LBC)

Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.

Contestant: Lepers.



DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

Contestant: I need a clue.

Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?

Contestant: Cartons?



TALKSPORT

Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?

Caller: Two.

Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...?

Caller: Five.



MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND)

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?

Contestant: Erm...

Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.

Contestant: 1965?



WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (ITV)

Chris Tarrant (asking the audience): 'Jambon' is the French for which food?

11 per cent of the audience: Jam.



DAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM)

DLT: In which European country are there people called Walloons?

Contestant: Wales.


JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)

Forsyth: What is India's currency?

Contestant: Ramadan.


OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES)

Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.

Caller: Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=511405&in_page_id=1770&ICO=NEWS&ICL=TOPART

[identity profile] arathesane.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
hee! I think this one is my favorite:

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.


HA!

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Everybody knows about that notorious conservative, Oscar Wilde.

[identity profile] zaza-tk87.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
like. serious?? 0_o

I scrolled down with some doubt. that all of these are not the truth. must be some kind of internet joke. until I was directed at dailymail website.*jawdrop*

nevertheless, it makes my day. xD

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
It is totally insane.

[identity profile] gingifere.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I think my favourite is this one-

Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.


Some of these answers made me cringe in embarrassment. ://

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
This was both funny and sad :)

[identity profile] ameyadevi.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
British hosts are the nicest hosts in the world, I wish ours would be so helpful!

but OMFG - hilarity!

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I know, I kept expecting them to yell :)

[identity profile] boycottbananas.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
...i'm speechless. ._.

i forgot that kennedy was assassinated on my birthday. of course it's a million years later, but eh.

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Heeee.

[identity profile] ladysaotome.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Those were too hilarious. People must watch those just to laugh at the answers!

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-06 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
This is so ridiculous!

[identity profile] autumn-yaar.livejournal.com 2008-02-07 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)

Forsyth: What is India's currency?

Contestant: Ramadan.


ROFL!!

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-07 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
I know! I wonder if that person's iq is in single digits.

[identity profile] wistfulmemory.livejournal.com 2008-02-07 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
That hurt my brain...

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-07 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh. At least you have a brain to hurt unlike the contestants.

[identity profile] joonni.livejournal.com 2008-02-07 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Puhahaha. That gave me a good laugh on a sucky day. Thank you!

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-08 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
You are welcome!

[identity profile] kitkat-cat.livejournal.com 2008-02-11 10:23 am (UTC)(link)
I am mortified!!! And I'm not even British!!! Though there are a lot of idiots over here!

Though my faviourite one was from Family Fortunes when the host asked what was a popular topping for baked potato and the answer....'jam!' Er, what!?

[identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com 2008-02-11 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL.

My fave is probably Kor Blimey :)