dangermousie: (Max & Liz "closer")
This badfic update is brought to you by the fans of Roswell. Apologies to those for whom interest in Roswell=interest in hole in the ground. But this is funny nontheless.

Is there such a thing as good Roswell fic? I know I run a risk seeing that this is a teen oriented show, but surely I should be able to find fics that use proper spelling and punctuation and grammar and even have a decent plot? Please, do recommend.

As it is, browsing the Pit of Voles yields:

Love is never easy in Hollywood as the stars find out the hard way. Set in modern day time, Max Evans is the new star of the lastest movie Carpool while Liz Parker is just a small town girl. Will love ever go their way? What will Hollywood say?

If I had to set Roswell somewhere else, the set of "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" would not be it.

this is the story of what I feel should have happened afetr roswell.........MArai and rath or maria and michael you decide.........still going to keep writing.not a one shot fic!

You know what I think should have happened after Roswell? You should have learned to spell. Btw, who is MArai, and why does she/he spell their name in such a peculiar fashion?

This is a remake of the epsiode.....I only remade the parts with Michael and Maria in the hotel.......read it please!

Which begs the question: what on earth is the point? Just read the script, it's on line.

Set in the future, the son of the great max evens decides to visit his father, a visit which may alter the course of history.

But what does a person named "evens" who clearly styles himself the next e.e. cummings have to do with Roswell?

AU: ML What if you fell in love at first sight, only to find out later that person was your family's sworn enemy?

I think poor Max and Liz have enough angst without being forced to take on Romeo & Juliet's as well.

More Badfic and a cute pic to wipe away the nasty )
dangermousie: (Max & Liz "closer")
This badfic update is brought to you by the fans of Roswell. Apologies to those for whom interest in Roswell=interest in hole in the ground. But this is funny nontheless.

Is there such a thing as good Roswell fic? I know I run a risk seeing that this is a teen oriented show, but surely I should be able to find fics that use proper spelling and punctuation and grammar and even have a decent plot? Please, do recommend.

As it is, browsing the Pit of Voles yields:

Love is never easy in Hollywood as the stars find out the hard way. Set in modern day time, Max Evans is the new star of the lastest movie Carpool while Liz Parker is just a small town girl. Will love ever go their way? What will Hollywood say?

If I had to set Roswell somewhere else, the set of "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" would not be it.

this is the story of what I feel should have happened afetr roswell.........MArai and rath or maria and michael you decide.........still going to keep writing.not a one shot fic!

You know what I think should have happened after Roswell? You should have learned to spell. Btw, who is MArai, and why does she/he spell their name in such a peculiar fashion?

This is a remake of the epsiode.....I only remade the parts with Michael and Maria in the hotel.......read it please!

Which begs the question: what on earth is the point? Just read the script, it's on line.

Set in the future, the son of the great max evens decides to visit his father, a visit which may alter the course of history.

But what does a person named "evens" who clearly styles himself the next e.e. cummings have to do with Roswell?

AU: ML What if you fell in love at first sight, only to find out later that person was your family's sworn enemy?

I think poor Max and Liz have enough angst without being forced to take on Romeo & Juliet's as well.

More Badfic and a cute pic to wipe away the nasty )
dangermousie: (Max & Liz "closer")
This badfic update is brought to you by the fans of Roswell. Apologies to those for whom interest in Roswell=interest in hole in the ground. But this is funny nontheless.

Is there such a thing as good Roswell fic? I know I run a risk seeing that this is a teen oriented show, but surely I should be able to find fics that use proper spelling and punctuation and grammar and even have a decent plot? Please, do recommend.

As it is, browsing the Pit of Voles yields:

Love is never easy in Hollywood as the stars find out the hard way. Set in modern day time, Max Evans is the new star of the lastest movie Carpool while Liz Parker is just a small town girl. Will love ever go their way? What will Hollywood say?

If I had to set Roswell somewhere else, the set of "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" would not be it.

this is the story of what I feel should have happened afetr roswell.........MArai and rath or maria and michael you decide.........still going to keep writing.not a one shot fic!

You know what I think should have happened after Roswell? You should have learned to spell. Btw, who is MArai, and why does she/he spell their name in such a peculiar fashion?

This is a remake of the epsiode.....I only remade the parts with Michael and Maria in the hotel.......read it please!

Which begs the question: what on earth is the point? Just read the script, it's on line.

Set in the future, the son of the great max evens decides to visit his father, a visit which may alter the course of history.

But what does a person named "evens" who clearly styles himself the next e.e. cummings have to do with Roswell?

AU: ML What if you fell in love at first sight, only to find out later that person was your family's sworn enemy?

I think poor Max and Liz have enough angst without being forced to take on Romeo & Juliet's as well.

More Badfic and a cute pic to wipe away the nasty )
dangermousie: (Michael & Maria "need")
1. The FBI wants you. For dissection.

2. If a girl is given a choice between a popular basketball star or a studious and mysterious loner, the loner wins every time.

3. Make-out sessions before discussing feelings lead to break-ups.

4. So does discussing feelings before making-out.

5. You are doomed anyway (see 3 and 4), so why bother. Buy a Playboy instead. But it will all work out.

6. Highjacking a car will lead to a long and meaningful relationship with the occupant.

7. A human vibrator (tm Michael and Maria) is a good thing, that is also PG.

8. There are Valley Girls in space.

9. Good girls like to watch (Honestly, what was Liz doing, peeking in on Michael and Maria in one ep?)

9. Extracting a bullet out of a stomach wound and getting a peek at her lacy bra at the same time? The new "meet cute."

10. Aliens are hotter. Period.

11. The best way to get a girl is to be sensitive and kind and stare at her longingly and tell her nice things and let her into your soul.

12. Unless you argue with her and bicker and drag her into closets for necking sessions instead. Works just as well.

13. The adults really are out to get you.

14. Members of the opposite sex ARE aliens.

15. If your dream guy takes you out for a romantic evening or even a simple drive together, watch out. Something horrible is going to happen. In fact, being blindingly happy for more than a moment is asking for disaster.

16. Being morose is your best bet. (see number 15).

17. "From up there" doesn't mean Wyoming.

18. Any guy who is sweet and romantic and mature is not of this earth.
dangermousie: (Michael & Maria "need")
1. The FBI wants you. For dissection.

2. If a girl is given a choice between a popular basketball star or a studious and mysterious loner, the loner wins every time.

3. Make-out sessions before discussing feelings lead to break-ups.

4. So does discussing feelings before making-out.

5. You are doomed anyway (see 3 and 4), so why bother. Buy a Playboy instead. But it will all work out.

6. Highjacking a car will lead to a long and meaningful relationship with the occupant.

7. A human vibrator (tm Michael and Maria) is a good thing, that is also PG.

8. There are Valley Girls in space.

9. Good girls like to watch (Honestly, what was Liz doing, peeking in on Michael and Maria in one ep?)

9. Extracting a bullet out of a stomach wound and getting a peek at her lacy bra at the same time? The new "meet cute."

10. Aliens are hotter. Period.

11. The best way to get a girl is to be sensitive and kind and stare at her longingly and tell her nice things and let her into your soul.

12. Unless you argue with her and bicker and drag her into closets for necking sessions instead. Works just as well.

13. The adults really are out to get you.

14. Members of the opposite sex ARE aliens.

15. If your dream guy takes you out for a romantic evening or even a simple drive together, watch out. Something horrible is going to happen. In fact, being blindingly happy for more than a moment is asking for disaster.

16. Being morose is your best bet. (see number 15).

17. "From up there" doesn't mean Wyoming.

18. Any guy who is sweet and romantic and mature is not of this earth.
dangermousie: (Michael & Maria "need")
1. The FBI wants you. For dissection.

2. If a girl is given a choice between a popular basketball star or a studious and mysterious loner, the loner wins every time.

3. Make-out sessions before discussing feelings lead to break-ups.

4. So does discussing feelings before making-out.

5. You are doomed anyway (see 3 and 4), so why bother. Buy a Playboy instead. But it will all work out.

6. Highjacking a car will lead to a long and meaningful relationship with the occupant.

7. A human vibrator (tm Michael and Maria) is a good thing, that is also PG.

8. There are Valley Girls in space.

9. Good girls like to watch (Honestly, what was Liz doing, peeking in on Michael and Maria in one ep?)

9. Extracting a bullet out of a stomach wound and getting a peek at her lacy bra at the same time? The new "meet cute."

10. Aliens are hotter. Period.

11. The best way to get a girl is to be sensitive and kind and stare at her longingly and tell her nice things and let her into your soul.

12. Unless you argue with her and bicker and drag her into closets for necking sessions instead. Works just as well.

13. The adults really are out to get you.

14. Members of the opposite sex ARE aliens.

15. If your dream guy takes you out for a romantic evening or even a simple drive together, watch out. Something horrible is going to happen. In fact, being blindingly happy for more than a moment is asking for disaster.

16. Being morose is your best bet. (see number 15).

17. "From up there" doesn't mean Wyoming.

18. Any guy who is sweet and romantic and mature is not of this earth.
dangermousie: (MR end)
Watched two more Roswell eps. It's basically Buffy without the sharp writing. I miss that. Also, need more angst, dammit. The googly angst is nice, but how about Max being dragged away screaming from Liz's arms (heck how about him getting into her arms in the first place?) But yeah, I like it.

My summary of the two eps follows.

Max: wakes up in the middle of the night for plot reasons. Dangermousie is beyond caring, however, because she is too busy ogling his sexy muscular alien arms. Apparently those aliens really hit the gym.

Liz and Max: We shall stare soulfully into each other's eyes. Nothing makes the heart grow fonder then shared paranoia of the government.

They continue to do so in the hall, during chemistry class, while waiting to Maria to betray them all etc etc. Their eyes get a good work out. Now shove your tongue down her throat, come on!

Michael: My life sucks. I live with a neglectful foster father and my future girlfriend isn't as cute as Max's. Also, my hair sticks straight up. Being a sidekick sucks.

Dangermousie: (avidly) Does he beat you maybe? Come on, I need more angst than stolen glances of two mututally attractive teens, here.

Michael: I don't think so. But he wears yucky underwear.

Dangermousie: *sigh*

More of My Summary )

-----

Also saw The Island yesterday. The cameraman/editor/whoever responsible should be shot for all the crazy cuts. Some of the scenes went so fast you couldn't even see what was going on, and made me dizzy for hours besides. Plus, CGI at the end? Bad.

However, while nothing to write home about, I don't think it deserves to be the bomb of the summer, and Ewan and Sean Bean and Djimon were hot.
----

In more personal news, I stubbed my little toe quite badly. It hurts even 12 hours after the fact. Where's Max when you need him?
dangermousie: (MR end)
Watched two more Roswell eps. It's basically Buffy without the sharp writing. I miss that. Also, need more angst, dammit. The googly angst is nice, but how about Max being dragged away screaming from Liz's arms (heck how about him getting into her arms in the first place?) But yeah, I like it.

My summary of the two eps follows.

Max: wakes up in the middle of the night for plot reasons. Dangermousie is beyond caring, however, because she is too busy ogling his sexy muscular alien arms. Apparently those aliens really hit the gym.

Liz and Max: We shall stare soulfully into each other's eyes. Nothing makes the heart grow fonder then shared paranoia of the government.

They continue to do so in the hall, during chemistry class, while waiting to Maria to betray them all etc etc. Their eyes get a good work out. Now shove your tongue down her throat, come on!

Michael: My life sucks. I live with a neglectful foster father and my future girlfriend isn't as cute as Max's. Also, my hair sticks straight up. Being a sidekick sucks.

Dangermousie: (avidly) Does he beat you maybe? Come on, I need more angst than stolen glances of two mututally attractive teens, here.

Michael: I don't think so. But he wears yucky underwear.

Dangermousie: *sigh*

More of My Summary )

-----

Also saw The Island yesterday. The cameraman/editor/whoever responsible should be shot for all the crazy cuts. Some of the scenes went so fast you couldn't even see what was going on, and made me dizzy for hours besides. Plus, CGI at the end? Bad.

However, while nothing to write home about, I don't think it deserves to be the bomb of the summer, and Ewan and Sean Bean and Djimon were hot.
----

In more personal news, I stubbed my little toe quite badly. It hurts even 12 hours after the fact. Where's Max when you need him?
dangermousie: (MR end)
Watched two more Roswell eps. It's basically Buffy without the sharp writing. I miss that. Also, need more angst, dammit. The googly angst is nice, but how about Max being dragged away screaming from Liz's arms (heck how about him getting into her arms in the first place?) But yeah, I like it.

My summary of the two eps follows.

Max: wakes up in the middle of the night for plot reasons. Dangermousie is beyond caring, however, because she is too busy ogling his sexy muscular alien arms. Apparently those aliens really hit the gym.

Liz and Max: We shall stare soulfully into each other's eyes. Nothing makes the heart grow fonder then shared paranoia of the government.

They continue to do so in the hall, during chemistry class, while waiting to Maria to betray them all etc etc. Their eyes get a good work out. Now shove your tongue down her throat, come on!

Michael: My life sucks. I live with a neglectful foster father and my future girlfriend isn't as cute as Max's. Also, my hair sticks straight up. Being a sidekick sucks.

Dangermousie: (avidly) Does he beat you maybe? Come on, I need more angst than stolen glances of two mututally attractive teens, here.

Michael: I don't think so. But he wears yucky underwear.

Dangermousie: *sigh*

More of My Summary )

-----

Also saw The Island yesterday. The cameraman/editor/whoever responsible should be shot for all the crazy cuts. Some of the scenes went so fast you couldn't even see what was going on, and made me dizzy for hours besides. Plus, CGI at the end? Bad.

However, while nothing to write home about, I don't think it deserves to be the bomb of the summer, and Ewan and Sean Bean and Djimon were hot.
----

In more personal news, I stubbed my little toe quite badly. It hurts even 12 hours after the fact. Where's Max when you need him?
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Note: This is a PARODY. If you loved the movie, I give you fair warning to stay away.

ACT I
MEET THE TEEN STEREOTYPES DEEP ORIGINAL CHARACTERS


BRIDGET: Hi! You should like me because I am busty, tall, and aggressive. I must be cool because everyone says I am.

LENA: Hi! I have no looks, no personality, and no taste in clothes. I am the real underdog here, so you should like me.

TIBBY: Hi! You should like me because I am a Goth. By that I mean, my hair is a bit ratty, I don't wear flowery clothes and I think people are kinda mean. I am to a real Goth what Velveeta is to cheese

CARMEN: Hi! You should like me because I am Latina. also if you don't, I'll throw a rock at you.

ALL TOGETHER: We have nothing in common but we are the bestest friends ever. Because the author says so.

ALL: Go to thrift shop, and participate in lengthy EXPOSITION which establishes that LENA is off to GREECE (will anyone notice she is gone?), BRIDGET is off to an-all girls SOCCER CAMP (AUDIENCE briefly hopes for a Lesbian subplot. AUDIENCE remembers which movie this is, and the hope dies), CARMEN is off to visit her WHITEBREAD FATHER in SOUTH CAROLINA where she will get lynched learn a valuable lesson about family, and TIBBY will work in WalmartWallman, because she is Q-U-I-R-K-Y.
continued here )
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Note: This is a PARODY. If you loved the movie, I give you fair warning to stay away.

ACT I
MEET THE TEEN STEREOTYPES DEEP ORIGINAL CHARACTERS


BRIDGET: Hi! You should like me because I am busty, tall, and aggressive. I must be cool because everyone says I am.

LENA: Hi! I have no looks, no personality, and no taste in clothes. I am the real underdog here, so you should like me.

TIBBY: Hi! You should like me because I am a Goth. By that I mean, my hair is a bit ratty, I don't wear flowery clothes and I think people are kinda mean. I am to a real Goth what Velveeta is to cheese

CARMEN: Hi! You should like me because I am Latina. also if you don't, I'll throw a rock at you.

ALL TOGETHER: We have nothing in common but we are the bestest friends ever. Because the author says so.

ALL: Go to thrift shop, and participate in lengthy EXPOSITION which establishes that LENA is off to GREECE (will anyone notice she is gone?), BRIDGET is off to an-all girls SOCCER CAMP (AUDIENCE briefly hopes for a Lesbian subplot. AUDIENCE remembers which movie this is, and the hope dies), CARMEN is off to visit her WHITEBREAD FATHER in SOUTH CAROLINA where she will get lynched learn a valuable lesson about family, and TIBBY will work in WalmartWallman, because she is Q-U-I-R-K-Y.
continued here )
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Note: This is a PARODY. If you loved the movie, I give you fair warning to stay away.

ACT I
MEET THE TEEN STEREOTYPES DEEP ORIGINAL CHARACTERS


BRIDGET: Hi! You should like me because I am busty, tall, and aggressive. I must be cool because everyone says I am.

LENA: Hi! I have no looks, no personality, and no taste in clothes. I am the real underdog here, so you should like me.

TIBBY: Hi! You should like me because I am a Goth. By that I mean, my hair is a bit ratty, I don't wear flowery clothes and I think people are kinda mean. I am to a real Goth what Velveeta is to cheese

CARMEN: Hi! You should like me because I am Latina. also if you don't, I'll throw a rock at you.

ALL TOGETHER: We have nothing in common but we are the bestest friends ever. Because the author says so.

ALL: Go to thrift shop, and participate in lengthy EXPOSITION which establishes that LENA is off to GREECE (will anyone notice she is gone?), BRIDGET is off to an-all girls SOCCER CAMP (AUDIENCE briefly hopes for a Lesbian subplot. AUDIENCE remembers which movie this is, and the hope dies), CARMEN is off to visit her WHITEBREAD FATHER in SOUTH CAROLINA where she will get lynched learn a valuable lesson about family, and TIBBY will work in WalmartWallman, because she is Q-U-I-R-K-Y.
continued here )

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