dangermousie: (Meteor Garden: pain by alexandral)
After much agonized pondering :P I also decided that most of dorama heroes can also be characterized into the following categories:

Drama Hero Categories )
dangermousie: (Meteor Garden: pain by alexandral)
After much agonized pondering :P I also decided that most of dorama heroes can also be characterized into the following categories:

Drama Hero Categories )
dangermousie: (Meteor Garden: pain by alexandral)
After much agonized pondering :P I also decided that most of dorama heroes can also be characterized into the following categories:

Drama Hero Categories )
dangermousie: (Inara with bow by gunneralchemist)
This is purely subjective. As in ranked only in how much it appealed to me. There is no doubt that Brokeback Mountain is a better movie than Aeon Flux. But I liked Aeon Flux more.


Read more... )
dangermousie: (Inara with bow by gunneralchemist)
This is purely subjective. As in ranked only in how much it appealed to me. There is no doubt that Brokeback Mountain is a better movie than Aeon Flux. But I liked Aeon Flux more.


Read more... )
dangermousie: (Inara with bow by gunneralchemist)
This is purely subjective. As in ranked only in how much it appealed to me. There is no doubt that Brokeback Mountain is a better movie than Aeon Flux. But I liked Aeon Flux more.


Read more... )
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Seeing that I did one for Star Wars, and Roswell, and One Tree Hill, here’s one for Mars.

Top dozen things I've learned from Mars

1. If you are a sweet, caring, stable guy and your friend is a delinquent nut, guess who the woman of your dreams is going to choose? The most you can hope for is becoming her confidante as she insists on talking to you about him. And taking about him. And talking about him.

Corollary: but never fear. Your friend's rejected ex might take a shine to you. Sloppy seconds are good enough, no?

2. The best way to make friends with the local tough who almost killed you with his little gang? Almost choke him to death in a fit of rage. Slave for life.

3. Perpetually broke, living in a slum guys are secretly from really rich families. And their father will be so happy that at least this time it's not a gold-digging skank, they'll do anything for you.

4. No matter how much the thought of a menage a trois with your hunky boyfriend and his identical twin appeals to you, it's probably a bad idea to keep asking about the sibling if the questions induce fits in your current squeeze. What happened? Probably nothing good.

5. You don't need to be from 'them rural parts' to have your father and your uncle be one and the same thing.

6. You should probably not marry a man whose mother was violently insane and whose twin was a sociopath, and both of whom killed themselves. Unless you are willing to adopt.

7. Pissing off the school Queen Bee is a good idea. If she doesn't maim you, she might even become a friend.

8. Sending your children to school? What with molesting teachers, homicidal thugs, and violent women, you are safer buying them a one-way ticket to Kinshasa.

9. If your boyfriend is the one with male stalkers instead of you, it's time to do something about it. I suggest giving him a haircut.

10. If your stepdaughter's current boyfriend knows that you raped her, it's probably not a good idea to visit him. Or talk to him. Or even breathe on him. Or near him. Especially if he is addicted to physical violence.

Corollary: If you disregard the above, please do it on a hardwood floor. Blood stains are really hard to get out of the carpet.

11. The best way to a guy's heart? A bunch of similarities to his dead brother. There is nothing sexier than a sibling.

12. Death cannot stop True Love. Neither can physical injuries, mental problems, or rape trauma. It's the new panacea.

Thoughts on Mars )
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Seeing that I did one for Star Wars, and Roswell, and One Tree Hill, here’s one for Mars.

Top dozen things I've learned from Mars

1. If you are a sweet, caring, stable guy and your friend is a delinquent nut, guess who the woman of your dreams is going to choose? The most you can hope for is becoming her confidante as she insists on talking to you about him. And taking about him. And talking about him.

Corollary: but never fear. Your friend's rejected ex might take a shine to you. Sloppy seconds are good enough, no?

2. The best way to make friends with the local tough who almost killed you with his little gang? Almost choke him to death in a fit of rage. Slave for life.

3. Perpetually broke, living in a slum guys are secretly from really rich families. And their father will be so happy that at least this time it's not a gold-digging skank, they'll do anything for you.

4. No matter how much the thought of a menage a trois with your hunky boyfriend and his identical twin appeals to you, it's probably a bad idea to keep asking about the sibling if the questions induce fits in your current squeeze. What happened? Probably nothing good.

5. You don't need to be from 'them rural parts' to have your father and your uncle be one and the same thing.

6. You should probably not marry a man whose mother was violently insane and whose twin was a sociopath, and both of whom killed themselves. Unless you are willing to adopt.

7. Pissing off the school Queen Bee is a good idea. If she doesn't maim you, she might even become a friend.

8. Sending your children to school? What with molesting teachers, homicidal thugs, and violent women, you are safer buying them a one-way ticket to Kinshasa.

9. If your boyfriend is the one with male stalkers instead of you, it's time to do something about it. I suggest giving him a haircut.

10. If your stepdaughter's current boyfriend knows that you raped her, it's probably not a good idea to visit him. Or talk to him. Or even breathe on him. Or near him. Especially if he is addicted to physical violence.

Corollary: If you disregard the above, please do it on a hardwood floor. Blood stains are really hard to get out of the carpet.

11. The best way to a guy's heart? A bunch of similarities to his dead brother. There is nothing sexier than a sibling.

12. Death cannot stop True Love. Neither can physical injuries, mental problems, or rape trauma. It's the new panacea.

Thoughts on Mars )
dangermousie: (Hayden C)
Seeing that I did one for Star Wars, and Roswell, and One Tree Hill, here’s one for Mars.

Top dozen things I've learned from Mars

1. If you are a sweet, caring, stable guy and your friend is a delinquent nut, guess who the woman of your dreams is going to choose? The most you can hope for is becoming her confidante as she insists on talking to you about him. And taking about him. And talking about him.

Corollary: but never fear. Your friend's rejected ex might take a shine to you. Sloppy seconds are good enough, no?

2. The best way to make friends with the local tough who almost killed you with his little gang? Almost choke him to death in a fit of rage. Slave for life.

3. Perpetually broke, living in a slum guys are secretly from really rich families. And their father will be so happy that at least this time it's not a gold-digging skank, they'll do anything for you.

4. No matter how much the thought of a menage a trois with your hunky boyfriend and his identical twin appeals to you, it's probably a bad idea to keep asking about the sibling if the questions induce fits in your current squeeze. What happened? Probably nothing good.

5. You don't need to be from 'them rural parts' to have your father and your uncle be one and the same thing.

6. You should probably not marry a man whose mother was violently insane and whose twin was a sociopath, and both of whom killed themselves. Unless you are willing to adopt.

7. Pissing off the school Queen Bee is a good idea. If she doesn't maim you, she might even become a friend.

8. Sending your children to school? What with molesting teachers, homicidal thugs, and violent women, you are safer buying them a one-way ticket to Kinshasa.

9. If your boyfriend is the one with male stalkers instead of you, it's time to do something about it. I suggest giving him a haircut.

10. If your stepdaughter's current boyfriend knows that you raped her, it's probably not a good idea to visit him. Or talk to him. Or even breathe on him. Or near him. Especially if he is addicted to physical violence.

Corollary: If you disregard the above, please do it on a hardwood floor. Blood stains are really hard to get out of the carpet.

11. The best way to a guy's heart? A bunch of similarities to his dead brother. There is nothing sexier than a sibling.

12. Death cannot stop True Love. Neither can physical injuries, mental problems, or rape trauma. It's the new panacea.

Thoughts on Mars )
dangermousie: (Kara Lee play)
Here is the list of all the Battlestar Galactica episodes (23, so far) aranged from most liked to least with reasons.

33 (1.1): How odd is it that my favorite episode is also the Pilot. But this one is beyond amazing and very time-structured, a pet thing of mine. Plus, we get some angst, some giddy Starbuck/Apollo and some tense tense TENSE and on the ragged edge with no sleep scenes.

KLG Part 1 (1.12): I fell in love with it by the end of the teaser. Galactica discovers Kobol, Helo discovers Sharon is a Cylon, Apollo discovers jealousy, and Kara discovers her preference in partners (hint: their name has 3 letters, starts with "L" and ends with "ee.") It's a pity she finds this out when Baltar is on top of her. It only goes deliciously and angstily downhill from there. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Pegasus (2.10): Brilliant, brilliant dark ep as Galactica comes across another ship, which really is Galactica in a twisted dark mirror. Apollo and Starbuck get transferred to the Ship of Doom, Tyrol and Helo team up to save Sharon from rape, and Baltar makes me cry. Yes, really. Thoughts on it here

KLG Part 2 (1.13): Starbuck goes back to Caprica. Meanwhile Adama mutinies and Roslin is about to be deposed. Of course, Apollo conducts a counter-mutiny of his own. Oh, and Galactica Boomer tries to deal with a suicidal mission. Season ends with scream-worthy cliffhanger, into the bargain. Gooooooooooooood.

Valley of Darkness (2.2): Yeah, I am Lee-biased. Whatever. This is a brilliant ep about trying to destroy the enemy who has already infiltrated and taking over. Lee leads the attack all the while worrying about his father, still on parole for mutiny (!!) and being the best leader ever in his own inimitable non-rah-rah style. For a man who was ambivalent about the military, he sure does a kick-ass job. And Roslin earns my undying love by being so cool and collected under pressure. We also see Starbuck and Helo bond (yay!) and Dee and Billy are cute which in BSG terms equals doomed. My thoughts on this ep here.

Colonial Day (1.11): Lee and Kara interrogate, brawl, snark and dance. Guuuuh. Oh, and there is twisty politics there too.

Because I am an obsessive list maker. The rest behind the cut )
dangermousie: (Kara Lee play)
Here is the list of all the Battlestar Galactica episodes (23, so far) aranged from most liked to least with reasons.

33 (1.1): How odd is it that my favorite episode is also the Pilot. But this one is beyond amazing and very time-structured, a pet thing of mine. Plus, we get some angst, some giddy Starbuck/Apollo and some tense tense TENSE and on the ragged edge with no sleep scenes.

KLG Part 1 (1.12): I fell in love with it by the end of the teaser. Galactica discovers Kobol, Helo discovers Sharon is a Cylon, Apollo discovers jealousy, and Kara discovers her preference in partners (hint: their name has 3 letters, starts with "L" and ends with "ee.") It's a pity she finds this out when Baltar is on top of her. It only goes deliciously and angstily downhill from there. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Pegasus (2.10): Brilliant, brilliant dark ep as Galactica comes across another ship, which really is Galactica in a twisted dark mirror. Apollo and Starbuck get transferred to the Ship of Doom, Tyrol and Helo team up to save Sharon from rape, and Baltar makes me cry. Yes, really. Thoughts on it here

KLG Part 2 (1.13): Starbuck goes back to Caprica. Meanwhile Adama mutinies and Roslin is about to be deposed. Of course, Apollo conducts a counter-mutiny of his own. Oh, and Galactica Boomer tries to deal with a suicidal mission. Season ends with scream-worthy cliffhanger, into the bargain. Gooooooooooooood.

Valley of Darkness (2.2): Yeah, I am Lee-biased. Whatever. This is a brilliant ep about trying to destroy the enemy who has already infiltrated and taking over. Lee leads the attack all the while worrying about his father, still on parole for mutiny (!!) and being the best leader ever in his own inimitable non-rah-rah style. For a man who was ambivalent about the military, he sure does a kick-ass job. And Roslin earns my undying love by being so cool and collected under pressure. We also see Starbuck and Helo bond (yay!) and Dee and Billy are cute which in BSG terms equals doomed. My thoughts on this ep here.

Colonial Day (1.11): Lee and Kara interrogate, brawl, snark and dance. Guuuuh. Oh, and there is twisty politics there too.

Because I am an obsessive list maker. The rest behind the cut )
dangermousie: (Kara Lee play)
Here is the list of all the Battlestar Galactica episodes (23, so far) aranged from most liked to least with reasons.

33 (1.1): How odd is it that my favorite episode is also the Pilot. But this one is beyond amazing and very time-structured, a pet thing of mine. Plus, we get some angst, some giddy Starbuck/Apollo and some tense tense TENSE and on the ragged edge with no sleep scenes.

KLG Part 1 (1.12): I fell in love with it by the end of the teaser. Galactica discovers Kobol, Helo discovers Sharon is a Cylon, Apollo discovers jealousy, and Kara discovers her preference in partners (hint: their name has 3 letters, starts with "L" and ends with "ee.") It's a pity she finds this out when Baltar is on top of her. It only goes deliciously and angstily downhill from there. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Pegasus (2.10): Brilliant, brilliant dark ep as Galactica comes across another ship, which really is Galactica in a twisted dark mirror. Apollo and Starbuck get transferred to the Ship of Doom, Tyrol and Helo team up to save Sharon from rape, and Baltar makes me cry. Yes, really. Thoughts on it here

KLG Part 2 (1.13): Starbuck goes back to Caprica. Meanwhile Adama mutinies and Roslin is about to be deposed. Of course, Apollo conducts a counter-mutiny of his own. Oh, and Galactica Boomer tries to deal with a suicidal mission. Season ends with scream-worthy cliffhanger, into the bargain. Gooooooooooooood.

Valley of Darkness (2.2): Yeah, I am Lee-biased. Whatever. This is a brilliant ep about trying to destroy the enemy who has already infiltrated and taking over. Lee leads the attack all the while worrying about his father, still on parole for mutiny (!!) and being the best leader ever in his own inimitable non-rah-rah style. For a man who was ambivalent about the military, he sure does a kick-ass job. And Roslin earns my undying love by being so cool and collected under pressure. We also see Starbuck and Helo bond (yay!) and Dee and Billy are cute which in BSG terms equals doomed. My thoughts on this ep here.

Colonial Day (1.11): Lee and Kara interrogate, brawl, snark and dance. Guuuuh. Oh, and there is twisty politics there too.

Because I am an obsessive list maker. The rest behind the cut )
dangermousie: (Default)
Because I am, as repeatedly stated, anal, I decided to rate all the major characters in Veronica Mars from most liked to least.

Logan Echolls: Yes, my favorite character in a show called "Veronica Mars" is not Veronica Mars. But how could I resist Logan? He is snarky, and angsty, and complex, and damn hot. When it comes to Logan, I=silly fangirl.

Veronica Mars: if we were talking Season 1, Veronica would have come out on top (down, double entendre!). But her attempts at normal this season, unfortunately lose her enough Pirate Points to have her come second to Logan (once again, double entendre, go back to your gutter!)

Aaron Echolls: I miss you, you horrifying excuse for a human being. You are like a trainwreck: awful, derailed, and impossible to look away.

Keith Mars: not loving Daddy Mars surely ought to be some kind of a crime. You are loyal, funny, warm, and you have managed not to wring Veronica's neck when she's done stuff behind your back that would turn a father's hair grey overnight (not a problem for you as you are bald anyway, I suppose). A pity your taste in women seems to suck so.

Eli "Weevil" Navarro: The thought of the biker gang leader around Veronica's thumb is fun. So is Weevil.

The rest are under a cut )
dangermousie: (Default)
Because I am, as repeatedly stated, anal, I decided to rate all the major characters in Veronica Mars from most liked to least.

Logan Echolls: Yes, my favorite character in a show called "Veronica Mars" is not Veronica Mars. But how could I resist Logan? He is snarky, and angsty, and complex, and damn hot. When it comes to Logan, I=silly fangirl.

Veronica Mars: if we were talking Season 1, Veronica would have come out on top (down, double entendre!). But her attempts at normal this season, unfortunately lose her enough Pirate Points to have her come second to Logan (once again, double entendre, go back to your gutter!)

Aaron Echolls: I miss you, you horrifying excuse for a human being. You are like a trainwreck: awful, derailed, and impossible to look away.

Keith Mars: not loving Daddy Mars surely ought to be some kind of a crime. You are loyal, funny, warm, and you have managed not to wring Veronica's neck when she's done stuff behind your back that would turn a father's hair grey overnight (not a problem for you as you are bald anyway, I suppose). A pity your taste in women seems to suck so.

Eli "Weevil" Navarro: The thought of the biker gang leader around Veronica's thumb is fun. So is Weevil.

The rest are under a cut )
dangermousie: (Default)
Because I am, as repeatedly stated, anal, I decided to rate all the major characters in Veronica Mars from most liked to least.

Logan Echolls: Yes, my favorite character in a show called "Veronica Mars" is not Veronica Mars. But how could I resist Logan? He is snarky, and angsty, and complex, and damn hot. When it comes to Logan, I=silly fangirl.

Veronica Mars: if we were talking Season 1, Veronica would have come out on top (down, double entendre!). But her attempts at normal this season, unfortunately lose her enough Pirate Points to have her come second to Logan (once again, double entendre, go back to your gutter!)

Aaron Echolls: I miss you, you horrifying excuse for a human being. You are like a trainwreck: awful, derailed, and impossible to look away.

Keith Mars: not loving Daddy Mars surely ought to be some kind of a crime. You are loyal, funny, warm, and you have managed not to wring Veronica's neck when she's done stuff behind your back that would turn a father's hair grey overnight (not a problem for you as you are bald anyway, I suppose). A pity your taste in women seems to suck so.

Eli "Weevil" Navarro: The thought of the biker gang leader around Veronica's thumb is fun. So is Weevil.

The rest are under a cut )
dangermousie: (Simon)
Because I am list-obsessive, here are my favorite 10 movies, non-Bollywood, in no order.

1 Lawrence of Arabia: a 1960s epic about T.E. Lawrence, this one needs to be seen on the big screen. It's complex and complicated, and I think Lawrence is the most fascinating, tormented character I've ever seen. And it's probably one of the most beautiful, heartbreaking movies to be filmed.

2 Lord of the Rings: because it's pretty much one, 11-hour glorious movie that has love and honor and sacrifice and beauty and horror and everything.

3 The English Patient: the most romantic movie I've ever seen, and the first one I've ever cried at.

4 High Noon: the only Western on the list. Not a Western fan. But this is a very stark, brilliantly acted and written, taking place in real time story about a Sheriff who gets abandoned by the whole town when the men he put away a few years ago are coming back for him. This was supposed to be a parable for the cowardice of the McCarthy era, but it works just as well anywhere, any time.

5 Notorious: my favorite Hitchcock and one of my favorite love stories, this one has the dysfunctional couple to end all couples, with Ingrid Bergman as a party girl who is convinced to "get close" to a potential Nazi sympathizer by Cary Grant, an agent who is actually in love with her. A lot of hurt and OTP results.

6 Gone With the Wind: Oh come on! It's got all that angst, and drama, and epic and poofy dresses, and being carried upstairs by the virile Rhett Butler, and it's a really good adaptation of a favorite book besides!

7 The Crowd: this is a silent masterpiece. It's so realistic that sometimes you forget you are watching a movie at all, and feel you are watching a documentary on a real working family and their ups and downs. If you see only one silent in your life, make it this one.

8 Wings of Desire: German movie about an Angel who wanders the streets of Berlin and decides to become human to experience life and to be with a circus performer he falls in love with. The fact that they remade this surreal, amazing movie into the hideously trite "City of Angels" makes me boil.

9 Girl on the Bridge: a French tale of a knife-thrower and his assistant that is whimsical and cynical and romantic and just right. I want this on DVD already!

10 Revenge of the Sith: come on, it had to be on there!
dangermousie: (Simon)
Because I am list-obsessive, here are my favorite 10 movies, non-Bollywood, in no order.

1 Lawrence of Arabia: a 1960s epic about T.E. Lawrence, this one needs to be seen on the big screen. It's complex and complicated, and I think Lawrence is the most fascinating, tormented character I've ever seen. And it's probably one of the most beautiful, heartbreaking movies to be filmed.

2 Lord of the Rings: because it's pretty much one, 11-hour glorious movie that has love and honor and sacrifice and beauty and horror and everything.

3 The English Patient: the most romantic movie I've ever seen, and the first one I've ever cried at.

4 High Noon: the only Western on the list. Not a Western fan. But this is a very stark, brilliantly acted and written, taking place in real time story about a Sheriff who gets abandoned by the whole town when the men he put away a few years ago are coming back for him. This was supposed to be a parable for the cowardice of the McCarthy era, but it works just as well anywhere, any time.

5 Notorious: my favorite Hitchcock and one of my favorite love stories, this one has the dysfunctional couple to end all couples, with Ingrid Bergman as a party girl who is convinced to "get close" to a potential Nazi sympathizer by Cary Grant, an agent who is actually in love with her. A lot of hurt and OTP results.

6 Gone With the Wind: Oh come on! It's got all that angst, and drama, and epic and poofy dresses, and being carried upstairs by the virile Rhett Butler, and it's a really good adaptation of a favorite book besides!

7 The Crowd: this is a silent masterpiece. It's so realistic that sometimes you forget you are watching a movie at all, and feel you are watching a documentary on a real working family and their ups and downs. If you see only one silent in your life, make it this one.

8 Wings of Desire: German movie about an Angel who wanders the streets of Berlin and decides to become human to experience life and to be with a circus performer he falls in love with. The fact that they remade this surreal, amazing movie into the hideously trite "City of Angels" makes me boil.

9 Girl on the Bridge: a French tale of a knife-thrower and his assistant that is whimsical and cynical and romantic and just right. I want this on DVD already!

10 Revenge of the Sith: come on, it had to be on there!
dangermousie: (Simon)
Because I am list-obsessive, here are my favorite 10 movies, non-Bollywood, in no order.

1 Lawrence of Arabia: a 1960s epic about T.E. Lawrence, this one needs to be seen on the big screen. It's complex and complicated, and I think Lawrence is the most fascinating, tormented character I've ever seen. And it's probably one of the most beautiful, heartbreaking movies to be filmed.

2 Lord of the Rings: because it's pretty much one, 11-hour glorious movie that has love and honor and sacrifice and beauty and horror and everything.

3 The English Patient: the most romantic movie I've ever seen, and the first one I've ever cried at.

4 High Noon: the only Western on the list. Not a Western fan. But this is a very stark, brilliantly acted and written, taking place in real time story about a Sheriff who gets abandoned by the whole town when the men he put away a few years ago are coming back for him. This was supposed to be a parable for the cowardice of the McCarthy era, but it works just as well anywhere, any time.

5 Notorious: my favorite Hitchcock and one of my favorite love stories, this one has the dysfunctional couple to end all couples, with Ingrid Bergman as a party girl who is convinced to "get close" to a potential Nazi sympathizer by Cary Grant, an agent who is actually in love with her. A lot of hurt and OTP results.

6 Gone With the Wind: Oh come on! It's got all that angst, and drama, and epic and poofy dresses, and being carried upstairs by the virile Rhett Butler, and it's a really good adaptation of a favorite book besides!

7 The Crowd: this is a silent masterpiece. It's so realistic that sometimes you forget you are watching a movie at all, and feel you are watching a documentary on a real working family and their ups and downs. If you see only one silent in your life, make it this one.

8 Wings of Desire: German movie about an Angel who wanders the streets of Berlin and decides to become human to experience life and to be with a circus performer he falls in love with. The fact that they remade this surreal, amazing movie into the hideously trite "City of Angels" makes me boil.

9 Girl on the Bridge: a French tale of a knife-thrower and his assistant that is whimsical and cynical and romantic and just right. I want this on DVD already!

10 Revenge of the Sith: come on, it had to be on there!
dangermousie: (Default)
1 Don't hit on the pretty girl, she might be your sister.

2 If you have family problems, don't work it out through counselling. Start an intergalactic war instead.

3 The best way to get a girl is either by being an obnoxious rascal engaging in illegal activities or a future Dark Lord with issues. If you are a noble and good-looking farmboy hero, you are out of luck.

4 If stangers show up stating you are the Chosen One, kill them quickly. Or else tell them it's actually the guy next door. Otherwise you'll end up mutilated, evil and dead, in that order. That or the alternatives (mutilated, good and dead (the Neo corollary), or mutilated, good and just wishing you were dead (the Frodo principle)) are not really a dream career path unless you are a masochist.

5 Bun hairstyles are in.

6 Elaborate gladiatorial contests should be avoided at all costs. Not only might your enemies escape and wreak havoc, just think of all the wasted beasts! A good Evil Overlord is a Thrifty Evil Overlord.

7 If your powerful young protege wants to love and get married, let him. After all, he could be doing worse. Like killing you and your entire order and taking over the Galaxy.

8 Helpful, loyal and adorable little kids are the Spawn of Satan. You are better off killing them now.

9 Politicians can't be trusted. Unless they are young and beautiful girls.

10 If an anoyingly cutesy character with mangled English tries to save your life, don't let him. After 5 minutes of his conversation, you'd wish you were dead anyway. Don't save his life either. The Universe will thank you.

11 Younger men are HOT

12 If you are a captive Jedi and are talking to a person who sounds like Christopher Lee, no matter how reasonable he sounds, he is up to no good. Haven't you seen Lord of the Rings?

13 If the only way you can think of to free your lover will ultimately involve dancing in a metal bikini with a chain attached, find another plan. Or another lover.

14 Due to Lamark theory of evolution, if your father lost his hand, so will you.

15 Muppets are SEXY

16 Always be thorough. If you are killing the men, kill the women and children as well.

17 A small space shuttle will hold an infinite amount of clothing. But only if it is female apparel.

18 Ewoks are the other White Meat.

19 Brothers and Sisters kiss each other on the mouth, and not just in West Virginia.

20 Replying "I know" to a first-ever "I love you" from the woman of your dreams, will not get you clobbered to death with her shoe.
dangermousie: (Default)
1 Don't hit on the pretty girl, she might be your sister.

2 If you have family problems, don't work it out through counselling. Start an intergalactic war instead.

3 The best way to get a girl is either by being an obnoxious rascal engaging in illegal activities or a future Dark Lord with issues. If you are a noble and good-looking farmboy hero, you are out of luck.

4 If stangers show up stating you are the Chosen One, kill them quickly. Or else tell them it's actually the guy next door. Otherwise you'll end up mutilated, evil and dead, in that order. That or the alternatives (mutilated, good and dead (the Neo corollary), or mutilated, good and just wishing you were dead (the Frodo principle)) are not really a dream career path unless you are a masochist.

5 Bun hairstyles are in.

6 Elaborate gladiatorial contests should be avoided at all costs. Not only might your enemies escape and wreak havoc, just think of all the wasted beasts! A good Evil Overlord is a Thrifty Evil Overlord.

7 If your powerful young protege wants to love and get married, let him. After all, he could be doing worse. Like killing you and your entire order and taking over the Galaxy.

8 Helpful, loyal and adorable little kids are the Spawn of Satan. You are better off killing them now.

9 Politicians can't be trusted. Unless they are young and beautiful girls.

10 If an anoyingly cutesy character with mangled English tries to save your life, don't let him. After 5 minutes of his conversation, you'd wish you were dead anyway. Don't save his life either. The Universe will thank you.

11 Younger men are HOT

12 If you are a captive Jedi and are talking to a person who sounds like Christopher Lee, no matter how reasonable he sounds, he is up to no good. Haven't you seen Lord of the Rings?

13 If the only way you can think of to free your lover will ultimately involve dancing in a metal bikini with a chain attached, find another plan. Or another lover.

14 Due to Lamark theory of evolution, if your father lost his hand, so will you.

15 Muppets are SEXY

16 Always be thorough. If you are killing the men, kill the women and children as well.

17 A small space shuttle will hold an infinite amount of clothing. But only if it is female apparel.

18 Ewoks are the other White Meat.

19 Brothers and Sisters kiss each other on the mouth, and not just in West Virginia.

20 Replying "I know" to a first-ever "I love you" from the woman of your dreams, will not get you clobbered to death with her shoe.

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dangermousie

November 2012

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